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/6 September 1999

WCW Nitro


QUICK QUOTE: SPLN 24 1/2 (-5/16) One wonders if the Viacom/CBS deal will affect CBS' stake in SportsLine USA - but not for very long...

I GET LETTERS: Another small sample of what I have to deal with EVERY DAY...

Gonzagylot writes: I was thinking long and hard the other day about wrestling and I finally figured something out. Did you know that Bryan Adams is the demon? That's friggin' crazy!! Also Berlyn is really Alex Wright, who would have guessed it? Finally mankind used to wrestle in wcw as "Cactus Jack" HA! by the way stop picking on sid.

Jamey Litton writes: Hey Chrys, I love to sound lyke a nytpyck, so I'm gonna call you on the Byrlyn translator's muffyng of her lyne. You sayd that you came up wyth "Losyng is not acceptable". My mom(z) and pop(z) were watchyng the show, and my mom sayd that Alyx Wryght actually sayd "Losyng ys not on the table". That could be why the translaytor messed up. She probably forgot the catchphrase and got confused by the lyteral translatyon. You questyon my mom(z)'s translatyon? Well, she's German you goof. I would suppose she would get yt ryght. I'm just trying to help.

Finally, Javier writes: are u good at wrisling.

Why, yes, I AM pretty good at writing. Thanks for the note!




LAST WEEK: TV-PG-DLV "Mistrust and distrust lead to accusations...and evidence?" closed captioned symbol

The WCW logo

The opening credits

The FIREWORKS! WE ARE LIVE from the Arena in Miami, FL 6.9.99 and Year Five or Nitro starts TONIGHT! Please ignore the voices played over the music.

Your hosts are TONY SCHIAVONE and BOBBY HEENAN. Who do you trust? Last week, Hogan said he'd provide evidence that he's innocent - will we see it tonight?

Tony throws it to Gene as Bret Hart's music plays - whoops. Tony doesn't recognise it, which means it takes him a good twenty seconds delay before he can properly throw a hissy fit as BRET CLARKE returns. Crowd is happy to see him, and I guess I am too. Hart actually said he'd return tonight in his Calgary Sun column - you mean you don't read it? Let's listen: "You know I had this crazy idea - just to come down to Miami, Florida - hey, this is the best place for me to make a big surprise and I'm so glad to be here....personally think I've been sittin' at home for too long, and I've been sittin' at home, thinkin' and thinkin' and thinkin', too much...and I finally realised that I came to the WCW to make a big difference. And I've waited, and I've waited, and I've waited, and the one thing that's eluded me all the time since I've been in the one thing. And I can't make up my mind about comin' back full time, and being on the circuit all the time until I can have this one single question answered. This isn't about titles, this isn't about anything like that, this is something based on just pride and principles and believing in yourself. So I'm gonna ask the promoters of the WCW, and I'd like the fans everywhere across United States and the rest of the world to consider this one little wish or dream of mine - I wanna fight Hulk Hogan. I can't make up my mind about anything 'til I get this one single match. And it doesn't have to be a title - but it'd sure be sweet if it was. But Hulk Hogan, I don't think anybody disputes that he's - maybe the greatest of all time. But I gotta know. So I want everybody in the WCW to know one thing - that I won't - and I can't - come back until I get that one match. Thank you very much." Now it'd be wrong of me to say that he gave this EXACT same speech in San Francisco at the big house show, and he already HAD that match, so I guess I won't.

Your Dynamic Duo gush about Hart/Hogan - it'd be a dream match, by crikey!

And lest you forget, Hulk Hogan has a big ol' world title match with Sting THIS SUNDAY at Fall Brawl! ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW!

Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim, America (ha!) Online, WCW Grip'n'Flip wrestlers (is that Raven?), Motel 6 7/8 (is that guy holding a tube of AIRPLANE GLUE?), and Aqua Velva's IceSport, AND Croissant Pockets from Hot Pockets. Randy Savage is gone from the Slim Jim spot, replaced by the "Eat Me" guy - I know you care about this stuff as much as I do!

Acclaim's "WWF Attitude" cleverly airs in the local slot

This portion of WCW Monday Nitro is brought to you by 1-800-COLLECT - call somebody who cares!

The Search for the New Nitro Girl is on! And, even more exciting, RIKKI RACHTMAN is back! "Can I get a 'yeah, right?'" is one of the more bizarre calls to the crowd, to be sure. Rachtman is your NEW WCW pimp, bringing out the NITRO GRRLS. Kimberly sucks up to the Miami crowd.



Here's a video from ZULI MERTZ, doin' one o' them hoochie mama dances and talking about the fact that she knows sign language. Obviously, she HAS to win. So let's blow off ERICA WHITE-MARCANTONIO's video, which amazingly enough has more footage of the Nitro Girls than of her ... well ... "dancing." Rachtman asks for another "yeah, right," then brings out Zuli and Erica - both of which probably could have made better choices in dresses. Rachtman says that will take votes to narrow these two choices down to one - and if you don't pick Zuli, they'll rig it.

I must give WCW credit for at least staying open to take votes until 11PM Pacific at the expense of not being able to reveal the winner the same night. 'cause I hate it when the west coasters get screwed. Yup.

LODI (with Lenny) v. OUTRAGEOUS EVAN KARAGIAS - "Stop the hate" - "Blow pops rule!" - "Lenny wears Short Shorts" - "West Hollywood Blondes" - "Wed Sept. 8th - Lodi's B'day" - hey, Lodi and my dad have the same birthday! Isn't that weird? Mick Foley and I have the same birthday, and Lodi and my dad have the same birthday. Very very yeah. Happy birthday, Lodi! Here's a free plug for your page. Let Us Take You Back To Last Monday where Vampiro told Karagias that he owed him, and Karagias (and the audience) was confused. Hey, there's C.G. AFI for the third week in a row as Lodi's #1 fan, complete with "LODI RULES" sign! Afi gets more heat than Lodi and Karagias as he's "hauled off by security." Are you like me - waiting and waiting for Rick or Mike to "break the big news" that that guy's actually a wrestler - and wondering why they haven't? I personally think they're too busy pleading with Scott to keep writing for THEM and not be seduced by Sean's...oh I've said too much. Getting back to the match, right after Karagias hits a top rope springboard plancha on Lenny to the floor, we see INSANE CLOWN POSSE & VAMPIRO come out to ringside. Afi is actually FROM the Florida area, isn't he? Camera misses something airborne from Lodi, sadly. Back in the ring - Karagias locks eyes with Vampiro and freezes. There's a kick from Lodi. There's a top-rope bulldog. And there's a DDT. 1, 2, 3. (3:31) Karagias STILL isn't moving. Lenny and Lodi celebrate like a couple of ... really close brothers.

See WCW LIVE Friday in Baltimore! Sunday for Fall Brawl in Winston-Salem! Tix on sale Friday for Atlanta for Nitro, Tulsa, and Oklahoma City. Saturday you can buy tickets for Witchita!

Is this their way of saying Fall Brawl is NOT sold out yet?

DJ RAN is all up in our area with some of the Nitro Girls. Spice may be doing strange things with her hair but she's still hot.

GENE O. works tonight! And MAN is that one ugly tie. YOU KNOW WHO is welcomed out to make some noise.



He didn't actually KNOW Savage was in his dressing room last week. He doesn't know what Luger's agenda is, but he better stay out of his face. He swore to all these people and looked his son in the eye - he'll never stab Sting in the back. I think he says that EVERY week. As for the picture of the Hummer, the vehicle in question was a hard top, not a ragtop, so there. He's gonna train, say a prayer, and kick some ass. Whoa! Gene has an orgasm - not easy for a man of his advanced years. Apparently, there's a big six-man cage match - well nobody's told ME about it - but Hogan knows.

Sting/Hogan promo #2 - SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY

Closed captioning hand delivered on telegrams provided by Western Union

THE BADDEST WRESTLER ALIVE, BARRY HOROWITZ v. REV. AL GREEN (Let's Stay Together) - Tony announces that WCW will announce next week a way for a lucky viewer to win a chance to become a millionaire - yes, friends, it's official: WCW will now PAY you to watch their crappy program. I predict that THIS match will be the one that Sid interrupts, even if it DOES involve one of Kevin Nash's former tag team partners. Horowitz can still go, after all this time. And what a company man - to have the WCW logo on the front of his tights! Horowitz also does about 15 more wrestling moves than anybody at the top of the card in his match. Inexplicably, some piano music fires up and a piano drops from the ceiling. But forget that, here's SID VISCOUS powerbombing Green. Horowitz offers his hand - Sid shakes it - then powerbombs Horowitz. We get a shot of a PIANIST during this - hmmmm. My head just exploded. "See, the problem we have is no one is taking me serious! So I'm gonna make this short and to the point. Benoit - you my friend, you will have to suffer - you will have to be the example for everyone to see. Because I will have the best win record in WCW...better than Hogan's...better than Sting...and better than Goldberg!" Oh, and CHARLES ROBINSON is out with a sign. They're still spelling "millennium" with only one "n" because they're illiterate, inbred hicks. Oh, and Sid lost on THUNDER! I'm supposed to say. Bleah.

Benoit/Sid at Fall Brawl!

Promotional consideration paid for by WCW Bashin' Brawlers, David (Flair) sunflower seeds, Croissant Pockets from Hot Pockets (#2), Chow-Yun Fat and Mark Wahlberg in "The Corruptor," American (ha!) Online (#2), and WCW Tough Talkin' Wrestlers ("they're really TALKING to each other!") - JEEZUS.

Oh yeah. (No contest? 3:00)

Goldberg eats Spree!



Hennig and the Windhams huddle up in a dressing room. Harlem Heat took out Duncum for 2-3 months, so they've got to get them back at Fall Brawl. Suddenly, a door opens, and Vincent emerges. He's got a leather hat and vest and he's a redneck, don'cha know. Hennig says they'll give him a shot tonight. Arrrrrgh.

Gene O. welcomes HARLEM HEAT to the ring. Stevie Ray sure hates him a fruit booty. I was kinda hopin' he'd bust out "sad sack" now that Vincent is involved with the Rednecks but I guess they weren't watching the monitor and don't know yet. Booker T. actually raises the roof with such authority that Okerlund drops his mic in the process "Can U Dig It" count is at 2, and the "if you understand what I'm saying" count hits 3. "Nine time" hits 7. T. compares Harlem Heat to Nitrous Oxide. I sure could go for a little bit of THAT. Stevie Ray almost busts out laughing while doing one of his stares.

Luger and Sting, WALKING down the hall, bust into Hogan's dressing room - and find him and Hart together. Sting asks for five minutes of his time. Hogan says he's tired of Sting's crap and will give him the five minutes. Then the lights go out and we hear some funny noises...

WCW event and tix announcement #2 - Meet Jeff Amdur in Baltimore!

Goldberg has ANOTHER Spree! He loves that KICK IN THE MOUTH!

When we come back, Sting's under a couch, and Hogan, Luger and Hart are busy pointing fingers at each other. The TV-PG-DLV ratings box makes an untimely appearance as the security separates everyone.

The wall of security right behind Schiavone and Heenan has let one child through - who just happens to be wearing a SURGE T-shirt. Tonight, stay tuned for updates on the condition of Sting! And who attacked Sting? And did they drive the Hummer?

Coming up, a 12 man battle royal - the last man standing will receive a world title match next week on Nitro! And here's the rules. Twelve men in, first four eliminated are done for the next. Next six will wrestle against each other in order of elimination, and the final two will wrestle for the title shot, no matter who the Champion is, next week on Nitro. This is almost a pretty damn interesting idea - let's see what they do with it. The FIRST FAMILY (and JAMES HART) enter first - the REVOLUTION next (with new music, sounding like a remix of Saturn's theme) - and the final four participants are the WEST TEJAS REDNECKS - including new redneck Vincent - coming out to "Good Ol' Boys." I'll bet Hennig's out quick-like.

12 MAN BATTLE ROYALE - Hennig actually doesn't get in the ring.



We've got that great crane's nest cam workin' here. Nick Patrick is in the ring and how do you stay out of the way with twelve men in there? With any luck, we'll have members of the same team eliminated in such a manner that they'll face each other later tonight - who wouldn't want to see Malenko vs. Benoit? Or Barbarian vs. Flynn? Ha! General pummeling indicative of battle royals happening here. Commentators have failed to notice Hennig never entered the ring, oh well. Knobbs is eliminated first as Douglas dumps him ducking a charge. Hennig says that Vincent gets one opportunity to prove himself - tonight. Flynn and Barbarian dump him (I think - camera missed him). So far, so good - two guys I really didn't want to see again tonight are out. Saturn dropkicks Barbarian (who was crotched on the top rope) to take him out - I BELIEVE the next eliminations determine matches for later tonight. Tony confirms it - good enough. Hey Tony, notice that Curt Hennig...oh never mind. Tony talks about the million dollar giveaway like no other television show has EVER given away a million dollars. I don't even want to get into what's wrong with THAT. By the way, didn't the WWF try to stuff a million dollars in a casket? I only remember this from the swimsuits Sable and Sunny were wearing... Anyway. Having eight men in there means that two men can each take a corner - Douglas dumps Kendall Windham - and then Windham pulls Douglas out with him. They'll face each other later tonight. I guess that Kendall vs. Barry dream match will have to wait. Barry Windham is dumped out by Chris Benoit - no rednecks left. Jerry Flynn goes over the top after a punch from Benoit. Hugh Morrus, carrying Saturn, muscles HIM over the top rope. Benoit and Malenko double clothesline Morrus over the top rope. Holy crap! Benoit and Malenko left in the ring! It's a blatant suckup to the Internet smarts! Of course, since I'M an Internet smart, it'll probably work like gangbusters on me. (7:24) Where's Douglas this whole time? Anyway, Saturn tells each man that "the Revolution wins, no matter what."

Cat-bo ad. Now THAT'S putting the "entertainment" back in "sports entertainment!" Call 1-800-443-7174 NOW!! I called but it was busy. Oh well. Pencil in Cat vs. Billy Blanks for Starrcade - that is, if Jackie Chan is unavailable...

10-10-220 presents WCW Fall Brawl SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!

THUNDER! ad has guys wearing masks who no longer wear masks, Hogan wearing black and white, Steiner with natural hair - oy vey




PRINCE IAUKEA - haven't seen the King of Swing since 24 May! Ironically enough, he was in a "Cruiserweight battle royal" that also featured Iaukea - and ended when Hugh Morrus went in and destroyed everybody. Let's check that WCW Mayhem countdown - 17:02:44:16 and counting - I can't stand this excitement! So, like, Sid's gonna come out here, right? Heenan asks why we'd turn the dial - ummm, 'cause RAW's on? Naaah. Iaukea starts things off with a blatant hairpull - that's very, umm, EDGY of him. And now, children, gather round as I share with you the tale of my great love for Cheez-It Party Mix. I love Cheez-It Party Mix. I love the Cheez-Its. I love the Shuffles - the cheesy crackers in the shape of playing card suits. I love the indigestable Sesame logs. I love the Sourdough bits. And I love the rice puffs. But the problem is about half of the box of Cheez-It Party Mix is pretzels - butter sticks and regular twists. The pretzels are the bits you put up with and pay for to get to the good stuff. THIS MATCH IS THE PRETZELS! This CRZ flashback is brought to you by Rick Scaia. It's not Sid, it's VAMPIRO and INSANE CLOWN POSSE. Swinger climbs to the top rope, Violent J crotches him, Vampiro comes in and hits his Nail in the Coffin - of course, referee "Blind" Billy Silverman misses ALL of this, but manages to count the pinfall for Iaukea. (4:36) Now it's time for "you owe me" to kick in as Iaukea attempts to become the new dictionary definition of "bewildered." Replay is brought to you by Wendy's Hot'n Juicy Classic Hamburgers.

Sting has the power of the card! The WCW MasterCard! Featuring fine folks like Ric Flair and Konnan! Yeah!


Earlier Today, Buff Bagwell slapped hands with the fans and posed like a pansy - then Berlyn stood nearby - MENACINGLY. Yup. Fortunately for us, no crazy lighting treatment.

Buff Bagwell v. Berlyn - this Sunday at the PAY-PER-VIEW SPECTACULAR - FALL BRAWL!

Let's look at another Berlyn promo! Dig that CRAZY SPINNING HEAD, MAAAAN - Achtung achtung!

STEVE REGAL (with David Taylor & Union Jack) v. BUFF IS THE STUFF - You know, if they REALLY wanted to suck up, they're squash Bagwell from here to Timbuktu in this match.


Bagwell starts a "USA" chant, which doesn't seem to faze Regal. Side headlock from Bagwell, wristlock from Regal, reversed, Regal flips, Bagwell hols on, Regal to the mat, nips up, reversed into a hammerlock, Bagwell reverses, back elbow from Regal, off the ropes with a shoulderblock. Back and forth we go, back body drop by Bagwell, posing time as Regal goes outside. Bagwell does his Hacksaw Jim Duggan impersonation. Regal back in - gutshot - headlock - off the ropes, shoulderblock by Bagwell, off the ropes again, elbow from Regal, flag shot from Taylor to the back. Regal with European forearm, but Bagwell punches back. Regal with a knee - into the corner - boot up from Bagwell. Crossbody, clothesline, dropkick, Regal with an eyepoke. Calling to Taylor, but the flag hits the wrong man. There's the Blockbuster. I hate Bagwell. (2:33) For an encore, Bagwell takes the mic, sucks up to the Miami crowd, and says that Miami's so great because it's part of the United States. "When you step on my toes, you're steppin' on Miami's toes - you're steppin' on toes that you don't need to be stepping on, big man.'re not just fighting Buff Daddy, you're fightin' the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!!" Ummm, come ON.

This portion of WCW Monday Nitro is brought to you by Wrangler! One. Word. Sentences.

A big match at Fall Brawl - Guerrero, Kidman and Mysterio against the Insane Clown Posse and Vampiro! Winners get their release!

JUVENTUD GUERRERA & BLITZKRIEG & PSYCHOSIS v. (billy) KIDMAN & CHAVO GUERRERO, JR. & EDDIE GUERRERO, JR. - well, that's what the chyron says. I have NO IDEA who Eddie Guerrero, Jr. is supposed to be. Juvi's dressed up JUST like Kidman for some reason. Heels attack before the bell and we end up with Guerrera and Eddie in the ring. There's a spinebuster and Juvi's gold chains go flying! Even though he put on the move. Tripleteam on Eddie as referee Charles "Not Holding Sid's Signs in this Segment" Robinson is distracted keeping Chavo and Kidman out of the ring. Crotched him on the top rope. Psychosis with a top rope corkscrew spinning heel kick. Tony notices that Juvi is dressed like Kidman, so it must mean something. Another tripleteam. Tag to Guerrera - off the ropes, Guerrera with a kick but he doesn't come in. Off the ropes, reversal, over, leg lariat from Guerrero. Iblockyourpunch, Eddie holds on - top rope - Guerrera in - flying headscissors on Juvi AND armdrag on Psychosis! Everbody in - clotheslines take out Juvi and Psychosis. Chavo and Kidman doubleteam Blitzkrieg, double clothesline, double dropkick, double cover, Kidman pushes Chavo off, much to his consternation - Blitz kicks out anyway. Backdrop suplex from Chavo - tag - guillotine legdrop from Kidman, patented rolling headbutt from Eddie. Blitzkrieg manages a high knee on Kidman and tags in Juvi. Scoop and a slam. Splash in the corner misses and Kidman rips the shirt of Juvi. Off the ropes, Juvi slides under but Kidman grabs the hair - Juvi stands up, with Kidman on his shoulders - Psychosis with a dropkick to take both men down.


1, 2, Chavo makes a save. Tag to Blitzkrieg. Whip into the ropes, kick with a flip. Handspring elbow. Whip into the opposite corner is reversed, and Kidman comes off the ropes with a clothesline. Tag to Juventud, who distracts both Guerreros. Juvi Driver? Nope - into the corner, Kidman counters, flip up and over - scoop, countered - Kidman with a powerbomb! Both men down, both men crawling - well there's VAMPIRO & INSANE CLOWN POSSE - meanwhile, a hot tag to Chavo has resulted in some housecleaning. Now all six men in. Nice tilt-a-whilrl backbreaker by Eddir on Psychosis. Flying headscissors by Juvi on Chavo - Eddie flapjacks Juvi onto Psychosis. Chavo ducks a savat kick from Blitzkrieg - Guerrera dumped over the top ropes by Chavo. Blitzkrieg (who is not Psychosis, Tony) hits a tope con hilo that lands on his own partner. Chavo from the top turnbuckle with a plancha. Psychosis elbows Eddie off the apron - now he's got Kidman - no, no - YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB KIDMAN! Eddie off the top with a frog splash...1, 2, 3. Awesome. (8:15) Chavo and Kidman have a few words but Eddie makes peace - as we look over the shoulders of the (Don't Call Them the) Dead Pool.

Here's another list of the Nitro Girl cities - and a reminder that you should vote for Zuli or Erica.

Speaking of the Nitro Girls, lookee! There they are! Well, three of them. And next week, learn how to win a million dollars!

Brian Knobbs and Hugh Morrus take on Dean Malenko and Shane Douglas at Fall Brawl!

KENDALL WINDHAM (not with Curt Hennig, no matter what the chyron says) v. SHANE DOUGLAS (with a mic) - I'll bet when Shane left ECW to take this deal, he had DREAMS of second hour-closing matches with champions like Kendall Windham. Lockup, Windham with a knee, right. Shane right, Kendall right, back and forth we go, face rake by Windham, into the opposite corner, elbow. Windham puts his head down for no apparent reason other than so Douglas can come back. "Revolution!" Crowd cares not, but does work up an "ECW" chant - I think. Windham hits two big boots. Fist to the head. Off the ropes, lariat. Kneedrop for 2. Choke on the second rope. Windham outside, pulling Douglas out. Whip into the STEEL barricade. Stomp, head to the STEEL steps. Windham rolls him back in. Legdrop for 2. Douglas hits a small package for 2, which makes Windham angry enough to hit a massive lariat. Kneedrop again. Knife-edge chop, off the ropes, duck, flying jalapeno by Douglas. Gutshot, vertical suplex, atomic drop, crowd fails to react. Shanw goes for the Ten Punch Count Along and gets 7 until the atomic drop by Windham. CURT HENNIG is out and I wonder if that fist was loaded. Split screen shows the Revolution members watching on a monitor and failing to come to the aid of their comrade - well, it doesn't matter as HARLEM HEAT are out and taking Hennig to the barricade. In the ring, meanwhile, and totally missed by the camera - I guess Douglas hits the Pittsburg Plunge since Tony calls it - 1, 2, 3. (4:17) The Revolution didn't need to come out, WHATEVER.


Replay shows that Windham actually tasted the blackjack of Stevie Ray, and THEN Douglas hit the fishermanbuster. Ahhh. Thank you, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Wow, a WWF SmackDown! ad - somebody's making valuable use of the local slots

The announcement that set the wrestling world on its ear - somebody can win a million dollars. Ummm, I don't think THAT week we'll learn all about that. Coming out tomorrow, the Hogan video, the Flair video, and the WCW Mayhem video - the best of the first four years of Nitro! Heenan lifts the videos, 'cause it's a funny thing to do.

LIGHTNINGFOOT JERRY FLYNN (with James Hart) v. BARRY WINDHAM (with Vincenzo) - who do you root for in a heel vs. heel matchup? Or do you care? Me neither. Think I'll get a glass of water. Oh boy! Vincent and Jimmy Hart going at it on the outside! Flynn actually hits a SuperKwang on Windham, then, while outside, says something that gets muted. Vincent promptly waffles him with the tag team title belt. Thrown back in to Windham for a DDT...1, 2, 3. (2:46)

This portion of WCW Monday Nitro is brought to you by LUGZ! Get 1 billion, 23 million, 500 thousand points when you play that video game!

The Windhams taken on Harlem Heat Sunday at Fall Brawl! Yup.

Fall Brawl promo #2 - I think - I'm losing count

Let Us Take You Back One Week When Berlyn made his debut


and Ute Ludendorf did a lot of shouting

Gene O. welcomes BYRLYN und sein entourage - Gene is patted down and the cameras get all weird again. Hey, what was up with that piano anyway? I know enough German to say with confidence that he's pretty much actually speaking what Ute is translating. The problem with this whole setup is that everything has to be said twice - once by Wright, and once by the interpreter. "The German invasion has landed - and Bagwell will be the first victim as the German machine sweeps over the WCW!" Uh huh.

Hogan/Sting Fall Brawl promo #3

To receive a copy of the WCW merchandise catalog, ram your head repeatedly into your monitor

Hey, look! It's (four of) the Nitro Girls! Is it just me or did they sneak a new one in there when I wasn't looking?

Rick Steiner takes on Perry Saturn at Fall Brawl!

HUGH MORRUS (with James Hart) v. PERRY SATURN - Schiavone plugs WCW Live, "the most listened-to show on the Internet" or something or other. Tony and Bobby send out their thoughts to Brian Hildebrand (Mark Curtis) - which explains Mankind's reference on RAW - say a prayer for Hildebrand, it couldn't hurt. Lockup, to the corner, shoulderdrives by Morrus. Right hand. And again. Headbutt. Kick. Right hand, to the back, off the ropes, Saturn slides under and chops, and chops, and off the ropes is reversed again - Sunset flip, no, buttdrop misses as Saturn moves away - springboard kick. Off the ropes, Morrus holds on and ducks out. Hart and Morrus huddle up on the outside. Back in. Test of strength? No, Saturn waffles him - ha. Off the ropes, clothesline by Morrus, kick, kick, kick. Standin' on the throat. Saturn kicks back, Morrus punches. Up and over, Morrus catches Saturn on his shoulder, but he scoots free. Ten Punch Count Along, but before he can execute a top rope manoeuvre, Hart holds on to his man - Morrus reverses and dumps him - looked like a flubbed move but it still looked painful. Morrus with a flourished elbowdrop - and


another - third one is instead a legdrop. 1, 2, no. Scoop - and a slam. Morrus climbing to the top - elbowdrop! Randy Savage must be PISSED. 1, 2, no! Going back to the punches and kicks, Saturn firing back, Morrus rakes the face. Second rope choke. Hart gets in HIS choke as Morrus argues with referee "Blind" Scott Dickenson. Vertical suplex from Hugh Morrus only gets 2. Saturn kicks the head, but upon getting up eats a lariat. 1, 2, nope. Rear chinlock by Morrus. YOU tell ME what the crowd is saying. Saturn tring to power out - but Morrus falls on the suplex attempt for 2. Foot to the face. Stomp. Elbowdrop. Cover - 2. They're on their knees trading blows - more now for Morrus - munching on the skull. Off the ropes, duck, military press slam by Morrus - that's it, he's climbing to the top - but the splash finds an empty pool. Saturn puts up the boots to stop the charge. Sidestep another splash attempt. There's a German suplex. Second rope flying forearm for 2. Exploder suplex. Motioning for it - but Hart is up on the apron - before Saturn can give him his prerequisite ko blow, Morrus runs into BOTH of them. Whip into the opposite corner - avalanche splash connects. Morrus going up to the top - time for No Laughing Matter - will it hit? NO! Armdrag takeover - Rings of Saturn! Morrus taps out! (10:04)

One more SmackDown! ad in the local cable slot

Jimmy Barron is a cheap bastard - the 1-800-CALL-ATT WCW Road Report is for a taped THUNDER! Good thinking.

This portion of WCW Monday Nitro is brought to you by M&M's!

DEAN MALENKO v. CHRIS BENOIT for a World Title shot - shouldn't the United States Heavyweight Champion, Benoit, get a title shot anyway, as the #1 Contender? "Feeling out process" to start. Lockup, side headlock by Benoit, takeover, into a headscissors by Malenko, repeat with opposite people doing opposite counters. Lockup, side headlock by Malenko, powered out, shoulderblock, quick cover, no, clothesline ducked, dropkick swatted away, elbowdrop misses. Back up - test of strength - knuckles laced - Benoit down - bridges up - Malenko on him - nope, Benoit puts the feet up - they roll over and Benoit's on top - 1, 2, - legs on the arms, 2, counter, 2, counter, 2, - both men up. Crowd is digging it - as they should. Malenko shoots behind with a waistlock, counter, counter, counter - shoves him offf the ropes, into a - well, they roll until Benoit's outside the ring - Malenko brings him in but Benoit holds on and rolls through. Both men up. Back to the knucklelock - no, Benoit pastes him with a right. Knife-edge chop. Head to the buckle. Knife-edge chop. Malenko kicks back, Benoit with a forearm, now they're trading


blows, fast and furious. Kicks traded. Benoi takes him off the ropes, knocks him down and covers for 1. Rear chinlock by Benoit. Benoit with an elbow -off the ropes - piledriver attempt - Malenko powers over - Benoit powers back - and drops him on his back. Aww, FUCK - SID VISCOUS is walking out. Swandive headbutt from Benoit misses. Sid grabs Benoit and puts him in the position - Malenko punches Sid, so Sid gives HIM the powerbomb. Benoit punches away on Sid, but Sid hits a heart punch. There's another one. Benoit dumps Sid over the top rope to the floor. Sid walks off, reminding Benoit that they have a date for Sunday. Sid does a lot of talking. Back in the ring...let's take an ad break. (No contest - about 4:20)

Sting and Hogan Fall Brawl promo #4

Goldberg vs. Diamond Dallas Page - Sunday!

Hey, look! The Nitro Girls!

So does this mean NOBODY gets the title shot next week? Figures. Way to screw it up, guys.

The cage lowers...the guys with the K-L-U-H signs have figured out they've gotten it backwards...hey, how about another ad break? Sure!

SID VISCOUS & RICK WOOF WOOF & DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE v. YOU KNOW WHO & COLD BEER in a handicap match - in a cage - I guess it's interesting to note that Goldberg gets the last entrance. Also, he's got his old music back so SOMEBODY's finally figured out that you just can't chant to "Crush 'em." Apparently also, Hogan gets tripleteamed before the pyro even goes off. Fortunately for us, we don't get to see it as we're focused on Goldberg. Goldberg's given them a good thirty seconds headstart. And now TRIPPA B & (khris) KANYON are working over Goldberg with a sneak attack of their own.


Goldberg rammed into the cyclone fence. Page motioning to Kanyon and Bigelow to put him in the cage. Brainy, that. Goldberg ducks a lariat and kicks Page - there's a drop for Steiner. Suplex from Sid blocked into a swinging neckbreaker. Pancakes Page down. Sid and Steiner doubleteam does nothing - double clothesline. Page, from the top rope, hits a clothesline to take him down. Hogan's back up now - Hogan runs Page and Steiner into the cage, now taking Sid off of Goldberg and into the wall of the cage. Steiner now. Page on Goldberg. Crowd chanting "Goldberg" - or is the PA? Crowd going nuts as (THIS IS) STING & THE NARCISSIST appear in the entryway - Luger tries to keep him from going, but Sting wants to make sure. Sting takes out Bigelow on his way in and now he's a house on fire. Stinger splash on Vicious! Goldberg spear on Steiner! Hogan suplexing Vicious! Sting runs Page into a Hogan big boot! Legdrop! 1, 2...well here's the thing. Silverman's hand didn't go down a third time, but the bell rang and the music played...and THEN Silverman raised Hogan's hand. So I GUESS it's a pin. (4:45) Steiner and Sid walk off - now the Triad walks off. Luger gets in the cage and says some angry stuff to Sting...credits roll - we're out.

Only, we're NOT. We go for like another minute, during which Luger inexplicably takes a swing at Sting. Then Sting swings back. THEN we're out.


[slash] wrestling




Copyright (C) 1999 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications