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/11 October 1999

WCW Nitro


CRZ TAKES A HOLIDAY: Tuesday marks the last day of my weeklong holiday, and I *swear* I'll start answering my mail REALLY soon now. If it was really important, send it again if you don't hear from me in the next couple days. To about 99% of you, this means nothing at all - but then, that's like most of what I write, so stick around.

CRYPTIC PERSONAL TO WHOMEVER: If I give you my word, and you choose to believe a liar instead of me, then not only do you deserve my pity, but we've finally proven that you really DON'T know me after all.

AND ANOTHER CRYPTIC: What are the advantages to asking a group of people who do not know me what I am thinking instead of asking ME? How hard to find do you think I am?

BACK TO REALITY: The "Heroes of Wrestling" PPV is on tape - God knows when I'll get around to watching it, but going in, I KNOW it will suck. If any of you paid for this expecting it NOT to suck, you weren't going in with the right mindset. If any of you paid for this based on Rick's glowing preview, you're a big sucker who deserves to have all his money taken away - but not by the cable me. Please send it to my PO Box. Trust me, we'll both be happier in the long run.

YEAR-END AWARDS: In my other life on Usenet, I run the Year-End Achievement Awards. If you've never heard of Usenet, you're a loser who doesn't deserve 'Net access. Sorry, but it's true. Anyway, if you'd like to be part of the most prestigious, oldest 'Net tradition of ... whatever, stop by later this week, when I'll drop all the skinny.

QUICK QUOTE: SPLN 28 3/4 (- 9/16)




Three bells and a graphic for Robert "Gorilla" Marella (1937-1999)

A ... Buick?... pulls up behind the TV-PG-DLV logo while a taxi arrives as well. Bret Hart and Chris Benoit get out of the car while Sid Vicious exits the taxi. The Total Package and Miss Elizabeth are there to meet the closed captioned symbol - and - good God, they're TALKING!! Hart and Benoit think about walking towards them but the multitude of security assembles between them. Nobody seem to notice Sid in all this. "Forget Security, we need Immigration!" You tell 'em Liz - send 'em back to Canadia!

WCW logo

Nitro opening credits

LAST WEEK: "Outsiders getting band back together?" (Oh Lord) "Sid Outsmarts Sid" - "Hogan Pins World Champ!" - "A Classic for Owen"

WE ARE LIVE from the Mississippi Coast Colesium in Biloxi, MS 11.10.99 for WCW Monday Nitro only on TNT!

Your hosts are TONY SCHIAVONE & BOBBY HEENAN. "Before we start with tonight's action, Brain, there's something we both, but particularly you, have to say about our longtime friend Gorilla Monsoon." "Well Gorilla will be sadly missed. Now he was one big tough man. He was a decent honest man. And we're all gonna miss him very much. And you know the pearly gates in heaven? It's now gonna be called 'the Gorilla position.' Goodbye, my friend." Tonight, the show goes on - Bret Hart & Chris Benoit team up to take on Rick Steiner & the Total Package! Sid is in the Arena! Goldberg is again stuck in the first hour! Hulk Hogan SPEAKS! All this and much much more...

Halloween Havoc has a double main event, sayeth the graphic - Goldberg vs. Vicious PLUS Hogan vs. Sting! Thanks be to SLIM JIM!

Backstage, Dean Malenko confronts Perry Saturn. Saturn says he was out last week to stop Shane, but he saw Rey Mysterio coming at him out of the corner of his eye and he defended himself. Saturn asks Malenko for his support, "you know, the Revolution brother, the Revolution, come on!" Malenko fails to return the hug. I would describe Malenko's expression as "stoic." Or else Malenko just can't be bothered to act out ANY emotion.

This portion of WCW Monday Nitro is brought to you by 1-800-COLLECT - that's right - CALL SOMEBODY WHO CARES!

PERRY SATURN v. RAYMOND STEREO - did the Revolution get their theme rerecorded? Rey Rey comes out to "Psycho," of course. Saturn does his best pantomime for the crowd by way of explaining his punking out of Mysterio last week, culminating in an offering of the Hand of Friendship. Schiavone ALMOST manages to notice this, too! Mysterio, who is an ingrate, declines to shake, instead hitting an armdrag. Series of elbows, whip is reversed, Rey up with a head scissors takeover. Saturn outside - Mysterio off the ropes, trademark spin in the ropes, double kick through the ropes, and a somersault senton onto Saturn - yowch! - just lying on the floor. NO give, there. Back in the ring we go. Whip into the corner is reversed, boot up - Rey's caught, though, into a running Ligerbomb that folds him in half. Cover - only 2 for Saturn. As Saturn works over the hammerlock into an armbar, we take our first ad break.

Hey, I just noticed this. The guy in the Surge commercial sticks his thumb in the burrito of the guy who did NOT put all that hot sauce in his food! The guy who perpetrated the offense gets off SCOT FREE! That's just WRONG! C'mon, man, piss in his Surge or something! Don't let that lie!

When we come back, Saturn breaks a knuckle lock and clothesline Rey to the mat - springboard into a legdrop for 2. Saturn back on him. Hard into the turnbuckle. Right hand. Exploder suplex (I think). 2 count. Here marks the first "shower" joke of the week, oh boy. Into the corner, Rey sidesteps the charge and hits the Ten Punch Count Along. Saturn slumps into the corner so Rey can hit his broncobuster. Waistlock, reversal, Rey lands on his feet from the overhead throw, but Saturn pancakes him down. Top rope guillotine finds only the mat. Mysterio to the outside - top rope...well I don't know, Saturn caught him for the DVD, but Rey managed down into a backslide, 1, 2, counter, 1, 2, counter, 1, 2, counter, 1, 2, counter, 1, 2, kickout, both men run the ropes - both men try a dropkick but end up groining each other - those guys must be close.



Referee "Blind" Johnny Boone puts on the count - at 8, Saturn gets an arm over Mysterio - but the shoulder rolls at 2. Saturn crawling to the corner - pulling himself up and getting to the top rope - but Mysterio pops up and fires away. Both men on top - SUPER FRANKENSTEINER!! Both men out in the middle of the ring and the count is on again - here's SHANE DOUGLAS - reaching into his elbow pad - here's DEAN MALENKO up from behind to prevent Douglas from doing whatever he's doing. Meanwhile, KIDMAN is in the ring and Boone calls for the bell, giving the match to Saturn (DQ 8:03) - Malenko is in the ring with Kidman and Mysterio. Kidman asks Douglas for a tag team match. Douglas takes off his watch - then starts giving the bad mouth to Malenko. Saturn, Douglas, and Malenko walk off - none of them apparently on the same page...

Let's Take a Very Special Video Look at Themonstermeng - and by "Special," I mean "hasn't been used on Nitro since 5 April." Meng last fought Lenny Lane in June in a match that saw Lodi bring out some're right, who cares about such minutiae.

We cut backstage, where Ric Flair is watching the monitor and expressing how greatly impressed he is with Meng. Arn Anderson brushes his teeth behind him. Several cans of Surge explain Flair's animated state.

Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim ("What does this remind you of?" "George's cleavage!" "Well what about this one?" "George's cleavage!"), WCW Grip'n'Flip Wrestlers, Tootsie Rolls'n'Pops, America (ha!) Online, and Tootsie Caramel Apple Pops AND Croissant Pockets from Hot Pockets!

DISCO INFERNO v. KAZ HAYASHIRYU for the World Cruiserweight championship - I *believe* Disco claimed to be a quarter pound under the weight limit - however the commentators were yakking about Sting so I missed it. Schiavone says Disco would like to be known as "D.I." from now on - we'll see if they remember that a week from now (or even if I do). Brief chain wrestling sequence to start, off the ropes, Hayashi with a fireman's carry takeover. Up we go, dueling wristlocks, Inferno with a right hand, Hayashi with a head scissors, and a dropkick - Inferno outside - Hayashi with a tope suicida! Thrown back in the ring - knife-edge chop from Hayashi. Into the opposite corner, back elbow from Inferno, clothesline that gives Hayashi a full flip. Disco on him with kicks. Scoop ... and a slam. To the middle turnbuckle - forearm smash from the second rope - only 2. Gutshot - off the ropes, swinging neckbreaker. Disco checks the hair and does a spot of dancing. Cover - only 2. Off the ropes, sunset flip from Hayashi for 2. Gutshot, whip into the ropes, Disco up and over, eyepoke, DDT, hooks the leg for 2. Rear chinlock from Inferno. JUST LISTEN TO THAT CROWD! I'm distracted by two babes in tube tops bookending two empty seats in the front row ... hmm - off the ropes, atomic drop from Inferno - tosses him through the ropes and into a hapless photographer. Inferno outside and to the commentators. "Are they showing this match in Japan?" Then he drops Hayashi on the table and goes back in the ring. Schiavone openly mocks Hayashi - eh, fuck you, Tony. Back in the ring, suplex attempt countered with a gobehind, to the ropes, off the ropes, duck, Hayashi SNAPS off the 'rana. Into the opposite corner, whip is reversed, charge is sidestepped. Hayashi with a suplex - off the ropes, measured elbowdrop for 2. Off the ropes, clubbin' forearm from the DI.



But instead of a back body drop, Hayashi rolls through for 2. Off the ropes, Inferno holds on and Kaz' dropkick finds nothing. There's the side Russian legsweep, there's the Chartbusting Last Dance - 1, 2, 3. (6:05) A nice little match that nobody in the crowd seemed to give a rat's ass about. Inferno says this division should be EASY.

The final WCW Monday Nitro of this year will be a celebration of "New Year's Evil" and thanks to WCW Mayhem, YOU can win a trip to the Astrodome! Let Us Take You Back to Last Week, where Disco Inferno defeated Psychosis in last week's Match of the Week. The Mayhem Winner is Thomas Haddon from Northumberland, PA! WOW!!! Log on to and enter tonight! Well, wait for the Match of the Week to have a winner, first, though...

TCI local spot sold to promote WWF No Mercy this Sunday - WOW! An official Mr. Socko sock puppet!

MATCH OF THE WEEK: THEMONSTERMENG v. KONNAN - This match could quietly sneak up on you and rule - but only if it ends with Themonstermeng taking care of Konnan. Of course, first you have to sit through "Tequila Sunrise" and Konnan's mic spiel. Ay-ya-ya. Lockup, face rake by Themonstermeng, stomping away, kicking, headbutts, opening up every orifice in his face, kick, kick, stomp, stomp, did I mention THE COOL PANTS ARE BACK? Tony says he's been "touring the Orient" these past four months - ah ha ha. Konnan ducks a big boot and hits a DDT - but Themonstermeng just pops back up and puts the grip on him! I laugh. Konnan grabs the rope. Standing on the neck. Crowd (allegedly) fires up a "Konnan" chant. Chop down that big tree! Into the corner, chokehold, referee "Blind" Nick Patrick somehow gets a break out of him. Kicking, standing on the neck, pull him up, whip into the opposite corner - Konnan up and over, kick, into the ropes, clothesline has no effect, again a clothesline has no effect, so Konnan dropkicks the knees - runs around him and there's a bulldog. 1, 2, kicked out with authority. Thrust kick from Themonstermeng. Posing to the crowd - this man is ONE BAD ASS. Standing legdrop. I don't know WHY I like him but I do. Elbow. Konnan reverses into a whip and hits a tumblin' clothesline. Off the ropes again, leapfrog, back kick (TOTALLY illegal area) - face taken to the mat, 1, 2, no. Konnan whips again, it's reversed - Konnan up and over the charge, trying the body scissors he saw Booker T. do once - Themonstermeng holding on - now doing the Tongan Death Grip dance - IT'S ON!!! Konnan's not moving, so Patrick counts down the shoudlers. 1, 2, 3. (4:24) YOU WILL RESPECT HIM. On his way out, he says to the camera. "Muktabakua! Offa migamoowa! Boktagomoowa!" Or words to that effect. PLAY HIS MUSIC ALREADY. GIVE HIM MIC TIME. THREE TITLE SHOTS IN ONE NIGHT! THEMONSTERMENG!!

Log onto and let Meng win you a trip to the Astrodome.

Backstage, Brad Armstrong is attacked by - oh, that's Berlyn's bodyguard. I thought it was Scott Steiner in a bad suit, but it wasn't. Berlyn calls him a little American, so Armstrong snakes his cane and gives a shot to the bodyguard. The security is quick to keep this from getting interesting.

At Halloween Havoc, we got Hart vs. Package, Page vs. Flair, Vicious vs. Goldberg, and Sting vs. Hogan. And hopefully some other matches...we'll find out for sure 24 October - ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW!

Promotional consideration paid for by WCW Electronic Thumb



Wrestling, Tootsie Rolls'n'Pops (#2), Croissant Pockets from Hot Pockets (#2), Moen faucets, Blast o' Butter popcorn from Jolly Time, and Tootsie Caramel Apple Pops!

I must ask myself why BWP buys ad time during Nitro but NOT during RAW? I'll never know because I'm skipping their card this Friday at the San Jose Civic Auditorium, but if YOU go, please let me know.

Wow, you needed to see this ad for this fake KISS - it's SO borderline illegal - they do everything but represent that this isn't REALLY KISS appearing Live at the Saddlerack. Hey, I think that's right next to my work! Too bad I don't work on Sunday...

Closed captioning provided by Toybiz WCW Talking Nitro Arena!

Hey, look, it's the OUTSIDERS come to repeat the exact same walk to the front row they did last week, just in case you missed it. Why does Kevin Nash wear FUBU? Because HE'S JUST THAT COOL. Hall's wearing a Los Angeles Kings jersey because the Kings are big in Biloxi. Heenan again takes a mic and tries to interview folks. Nash says he's still retired. Hall says his back is sore from bending over backwards, carrying this company on his back, so he's just hanging out with Kev. They're here to watch Goldberg - hey, didn't they do that last week? Nash wishes Dusty Rhodes happy birthday, then gets all smarmy on us - ugh.

COLD BEER v. HORACE HOGAN - Goldberg enters first, which is a little different. You know, this thing is ruined for me. Every time I see it, I see the Jerichoholic Ninja and the Jericho Personal Security getting lost on the way to the ring. To break up this entrance just a bit, Sid Vicious appears. Sid and Goldberg do some awkward ad-libbing, Sid laughs like a maniac, and by God, would it have KILLED them to at least plan out what they were going to say just a couple minutes in advance? The sad thing is, that could very well have been taped - or that best cut out of five takes. Entrance is (3:56) - I believe that's a new record. Horace is definitely part of the Hogan family as he gets the Hulk Hogan chyron-less entrance. By way of reference, Horace's entrance is a mere fifty seconds. Lockup, into the corner, Horace swings wildly and misses, Goldberg puts the paws and knees into him. Elbow, off the ropes, military press into a Meltdown slam. Superkick, fireman's carry into a cross armbreaker. Horace into the ropes, then to the outside after referee "Blind" Mickey J. manages to force a break. Goldberg goes outside, Horace pulls him into the STEEL steps. Knife-edge chop, forearm, back in the ring, scoop...and a slam. Horace climbs to the top - there's a splash - 1, 2, Goldberg presses him away. Horace firing away to the back of the head, Goldberg firing back, fans chant, clothesline ducked, there's the spear.



Hey, how about that Jackhammer. 1, 2, 3. (3:01) "Sid...I hope you saw that brother...'cause you're next."

Then Goldberg eats a SPREE!

GENE O. works tonight! And he brought the TV-PG-DLV ratings box with him! After wishing us a happy Columbus Day, he welcomes out YOU KNOW WHO, who's got the red white & blue running through his veins...hey, that's rather a lot of pyro for just an interview. I'll pass up the opportunity for a tasteless comment as Hogan greets a "special" fan. Gene wastes no time bringing up the future of Hulk Hogan - he's been checking the websites and listening to the radio. You know, *I* hear some boos in there. Hogan says the rhetoric makes him feel like not even showing up to talk (go ahead, me hearty) but at Halloween Havoc, he's gonna kick Sting's ass! Hmm, he didn't deny anything there, did he? When he goes out, it'll be his way, with the red and yellow running wild. He's gonna train, say one damn prayer and then he's gonna come out his way and kick Sting's ass. Hogan cuts the music. "Cut the damn music, you know there's one more thing. I hope you guys in the back are listening because come Halloween Havoc, Hulk Hogan is gonna get the last laugh." Did Hogan just give the Internet the means to let this story feed upon itself? No way, he'd NEVER be that manipulative of us SMARTS!!

Sting vs. Hogan is at Halloween Havoc, you know

Here's A Special Video Look at the Search for the New Nitro Grrl.

Gene O. welcomes out NITRO GRRLS KIMBERLY AND HER TWO NIPPLES - last week's winner was Nicole, and I can't remember which one she was - oh well. This week's finalists are Amy and Tiffany. I think I'd vote for Tiffany since Amy seems a little ...overdone. Also that dress is too tight. On the other hand, she's got giant breasts, which is why she'd probably win.

Backstage, Torrie wipes some lipstick off of Kidman's face while he pulls up his pants. "Oh hey, Davy." David Flair, getting into the picture asks Torrie what's up. Torrie says she doesn't have time for him, and maybe he could go talk to his dad or something. David...I think he's trying to smolder here.




THUNDER! ad features Disorderly Conduct - they're LIVE this week - I think

Hollywood Hogan and Ric Flair Superstar Series tape promo - wasn't the Flair one just on PPV?

NASTY BRIAN KNOBS (with Hugh Morrus & James Hart) v. STEVIE RAY (with Booka T.) in a street fight - if I were one of those "cute" recappers, I'd tell you that the best workrate in this match was displayed by a metal garbage can, but *I* prefer to diminish the fine work of the participants by saying nothing instead. With three men on the outside, there ain't much happening inside. Referee "Blind" Johnny Boone, naturally, follows T. and Morrus on the outside despite the fact that neither man is actually IN this matchup. The commentators are laughing like idiots, like they usually do in these matches. Ray puts up both boots to stop a garbage can charge and Knobs runs into it. Cue Hart, who drops ANOTHER garbage can across Ray's back, turns Knobs on top of him, Boon FLIES into make the count, and what was the point. (3:55)

Let Us Take You Back to Last Week, where Douglas and Saturn did bad things to Mysterio - all the while, Brian Knobs' music is still playing behind this clip. Does anyone notice or care? No. Just me.

SHANE DOUGLAS comes out to ask Biloxi to sit down while the Revolution airs out its dirty laundry, then *demands* PERRY SATURN, DEAN MALENKO & CHRIS BENOIT appear. Everybody's out. "Now it seems we gotta clear the air here a little bit about a few things - first of all, Malenko, I'm looking you in the eye and I want an answer. Why did this man have to take a disqualification win over Mysterio tonight, when he could have had a clear-cut victory, like YOU got --" "Don't talk to me about clear-cut victories, Shane - I know what I saw!" "Look, wait a second, wait a second, no no no no no...what about you, Benoit? What about you getting out of the car earlier tonight with Bret 'the Hitman' Hart and accepting a match with the Hitman? You either stand with this Revolution or you stand away from it, but I wanna know where you are - I wanna now..." "Don't be browbeating me about my relationship with Bret Hart. I've known that family for over fifteen years. If it wasn't for the Harts, there'd be no Crippler. And I'm gonna look you right in the eye right now and call a spade a spade, Douglas. If there was no Crippler, there'd be no Revolution. In fact..." and he removes his Revolution T-shirt and walks off. Saturn's on the verge of tears. "See? That's the problem. You start running your mouth - and you don't think! Look what you've caused! You've started running your mouth without thinking! You've got me and you into a tag team match - you're not even cleared to wrestle!" "Perry, I told you I was a man of my honour and a man of my word. I'll stand in that corner tonight, and as far as I'm concerned with you Douglas, I'm gonna take this thing back to where the Revolution originally planned it." Malenko walks off - Saturn walks off ... and Douglas is left wondering just what the hell happened. He looks at Benoit's shirt in his hands...



Slim Jim is having a "Wanna Party With Us?" sweepstakes. Is there any way I could party with JUST Gorgeous George - I'll give Savage a twenty to go to the movies for the night if it'll help.

LA PARKA v. BRAD ARMSTRONG - La Parka is wearing a frightening mask and shoulder pad getup - also he has "SOLO PARA TIMBONAS" on his posterior, which I *believe* means "Luchadores never beat white guys." Heenan breaks the monotony of this match by calling Goldberg's previous opponent "Horace Boulder." BERLYN UND SEIN BODYGUARD break the monotony of this match by coming out, distracting referee "Blind" Nick Patrick, with whom Parka accidentally collides - the bodyguard wraps the chair around Parka a bit while Berlyn gets in a high knee to the back and his hangman's neckbreaker. Both men out, but Armstrong's arm happens to be draped across Parka so Patrick counts a groggy three. (3:20) Replays are brought to you by Wendy's Bacon Mushroom Melt.

Backstage, Curt Hennig is hitting on Torrie while Curly Bill looks on. David Flair happens by - it's not his night tonight. After Torrie tells him to leave her alone a couple times, Hennig takes out Flair with a little help from Bill.

Jimmy Barron tells us that THUNDER! is live from Baton Rouge Thursday.

Only sixty bucks to get a Rey Mysterio Jnr jersey! Wotta steal! I said STEAL!

THAT OLD BLACK MAGIC NORMAN SMILEY (silver) v. BERLYN (mit sein bodyguard) - Smiley promises to "get jiggy with it." The way HE says it, of course, makes it even funnier than it sounds when I type it. Berlyn has a few words for us as he walks to the ring, I believe it translates to a poem: "I like Kraftwerk / I like Neu! / Rouladen for dinner? / Boy oh boy"


Crowd chants USA even though Smiley's from Mexico by way of Britain. Skipping to the end because I can't be bothered - we all know the guy facing Brad Armstrong at the pay-per-view is gonna win. After not one but two swoop slams, Smiley pleasures the crowd with his "doin' it in da butt and smackin' my bitch up" dance. Unfortunately, the match wasn't over, and Berlyn reverses a whip into the ropes, hits a high knee, and the reverse neckbreaker for the win. (3:35) I'M just shocked it didn't take the ol' loaded fist from the bodyguard like it seemingly has every other week...

Gene O. brings out THE MAN, who wants to know why Curt Hennig won't leave him and Li'l Naitch alone. Whoops, he called him "Mr. Perfect," call the law. He'd like a match with Hennig, and then afterward maybe Kimberly'd like a shot at the 14-time 14-time 14-time 14-time 14-time 14-time 14-time 14-time okay I get it

I've missed about four WCW Mayhem ads during various breaks - oops

Next Monday, WCW is in Phildelphia for NITRO - Friday they hit Oakland and I WILL GET MY ASS KICKED! Tix on sale Friday for Little Rock for Nitro, Toronto for Mayhem, Auburn Hills for Nitro, and Toldeo for Saturday Night!

Sting is An Evil Bastard and Only Hogan Can Save Us From Him - at Halloween Havoc - ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW!

The search for the New Nitro Grrl hits Philly next week, and Phoenix the week after to close it out

PERRY SATURN & DEAN MALENKO (with Shane Douglas) v. RAYMOND STEREO & KIDMAN - Saturn is out, Douglas two steps behind - and Malenko WAY WAY behind. Malenko and Kidman start.


side headlock/head scissor counter sequence to start. Off the ropes, Malenko takes him up and lets him drop. Dropkick to the head. Off the ropes, dropkick takes Kidman out. Malenko follows, and glares at Douglas. Perry tags himself in when they come back in - Kidman takes over but gets dropped outside the ring by Saturn. Malenko goes outside to keep Douglas away from Kidman - meanwhile, Saturn whips Kidman into the STEEL steps. Let's take an ad break as Saturn asks for a tag...

Here's another WCW Mayhem ad

And here's another

And here's another THUNDER! ad

"Moments Ago" replay shows Saturn ducksins a clothesline and then taking him over the top rope to the floor. The TV-PG-DLV ratings box is out as Kidman feels the hard end of a belly-to-back suplex from Malenko. But both men are up slowly. Tag to Mysterio - he's on Malenko - Saturn's up on the top turnbuckle and turns it into a powerbomb - 1, 2, MALENKO pulls him off. After quizzical looks exchanged all around, Saturn clotheslines Mysterio. Off the ropes, quebraded attempt is caught on the shoulder, but Saturn gets pushed into the corner by Rey. Second rope - huracanrana! Saturn into the corner - bronco buster is caught with the ol' foot in the grawn. Saturn tries a cover but only gets 2. There's a shot for Kidman to distract referee "Blind" Johnny Boone. Belly-to-belly overhead suplex for 2. Tony says "T-bone" almost as much as "sidewalk slam." After a glare is exchanged, Malenko comes in...reluctantly. Powerbomb attempt doesn't work as Rey rolls through it and turns it into a backslide for 2. Malenko with a lariat as they both pop up. Saturn tags himself in - Malenko argues, then pushes Saturn into a Mysterio rollup for 2. Saturn takes Mysterio back down while he AND Douglas want to know what's up. Malenko. Malenko wants him to wrestler - so Saturn tags him in. Malenko drops him with a belly-to-back suplex but Mysterio kicks out at 2. Saturn yelling from the apron. Malenko over - there's the tag. La Magistral gets 2. Arm wringer - off the ropes, Mysterio ducks, Saturn springs off the second rope with a flying jalapeno for 2 - Kidman makes the save and Saturn is all over him. Tag to Malenko - holding Mysterio open for the showt. Malenko spins him around - brings him over his head and drops him in a gutbuster. Tejas cloverleaf is on - but SATURN TAGS HIM! Bodyslam from Saturn - to the top rope - what an elbowdrop - and he tags in Malenko. Bizarre. Malenko gets a whip reversed - dumps Rey over to the apron - Rey with a shot - now both men on the top rope - SUPERPLEX!! But both men are down. The fans are rallying behind Mysterio. Malenko tags Saturn, Mysterio tags Kidman - huracanrana, rydeen bomb, dropkicks for each man, Saturn placed onto the top turnbuckle, Kidman flips Rey up to his neck - super Frankensteiner - Kidman covers - 1, 2, Malenko saves! Now all four men in - Malenko and Mysterio back and forth, Mysterio ends up hitting the rana on Malenk but they BOTH go over the top rope to the floor. In the meantime, Kidman slams Saturn and goes to the top - but Douglas hits his feet and Kidman crotches himself. Shane up on the apron - Boone turns around and sees what's going on - while he talks to Douglas, Douglas produces the chain and tosses it to Saturn while holding Boone close to him so he can't see it. Saturn makes a pretty big show of wrapping the chain around his fist and decking Kidman with it - tucked in the tights - hook the leg - 1, 2, 3. Mah oh mah. (13:10) Shane Douglas hands Revolution shirts to Malenko and Saturn - Tony says we've got a replay and let's put it up on the Jumbotron while we're at it. Malenko DOES see the replay - and it makes him so angry that he rips up the Revolution T-shirt, throws it at Saturn, and expectorates right on Douglas. This is about the most animated we've seen Malenko in quite a while. He walks off as Douglas implores him not to walk away. Malenko says to the camera, "I'm my own Revolution now!" Hey, maybe he can hook back up with Buff...heh heh heh...

DDP hawks


a T-shirt. I hawk a loogie.

Here's a Special Video Look at Goldberg - man, we can't get enough Goldberg over here.

SID VISCOUS v. FAR OUT VAN HAMMER for the United States Heavyweight Championship - Sign in the crowd says it all: "SID CAN'T COUNT" Hey, you think Vince Russo prefers a match like THIS one to the tag team match we just had? Do you understand why I would worry about this? Anyway, RICK WOOF WOOF comes out, Vicious just *happens* to "accidentally" knock down referee "Blind" Mark Johnson, Steiner hits an UGLY UGLY top rope bulldog - there's a double powerbomb - Johnson's come to as Steiner is leaving - 1, 2, 3. (3:24) Vicious growls and Steiner shouts. Then they both laugh. It's CREEPY!

Sting Is A Bad, Bad Man - Who Meets Hogan Sunday October 24 at Halloween Havoc

WCW Magazine promo - notice that they just GAVE UP trying to make the star of David WCW logo work for them and came up with a totally brand-new one.

Remember friends, MENG can help you win a trip to New Year's Evil at the Astrodome - he won the Match of the Week - get thyself to and fill it out!

MIKE TENAY joins the commentators at the ringside, and the Awesome 3 talk a bit more about last week's match between Hart and Benoit.


I'M distracted by a member of the Sign Police confiscating a "MUFF DIVER" sign right behind Tenay.

Let Us Take You Back to Last Monday for highlights of the match between Hart and Benoit, from the introductions from Harley Race to the Sharpshooter victory by Hart, and the embrace between the two men post-match.

"Awake my son - what's under your bed? What's in your closet? Who is in your window? Come to me and live forever. Join me in complete bliss. That's right, my son - now sleep, my child..." The guy in the window looks like Dustin Rhodes - as a mime. More troubling - he sounds JUST LIKE THE BLACK SCORPION!

CURT HENNIG (with Curly Bill) v. THE MAN - "I'm gonna destroy the legend, Ric Flair, tonight! This one's for you Windham, I hope you enjoy it!" Tenay was just there for that two minute intro, apparently. Ric Flair and Horace are too big for chyron. Hennig is over to ask Heenan about ... Siamese twins? Heenig jawing with random fans at ringside. Did he turn into Scott Steiner when we weren't looking. FINALLY this match starts up. Hennig light on his feet while Flair watches. Then he pops him one. Hennig, mortified, drops to the mat and rolls to the outside. After thinking on it, he comes back in - lockup, chain wrestling, counter, drop toehold from Flair, both men back up, woooo! Side headlock from Hennig, Flair powers out, Hennig with the shoulderblock. Lockup, side headlock from Hennig, to the ropes, powers out, knocked down, Hennig up and over, Flair with a back elbow. Knife-edge chop in the corner. Woooo! Right hand on the money.


Knife-edge chop takes Hennig down to the mat. Flair asks referee "Blind" Mickey J. to check with the timekeeper, then gives Hennig a Golota when he turns his back. We're outside now and it's all Flair - punching and chopping away. Hennig taken to the commentary table. Knife-edge chop. Hennig goes to the eyes to come back, right, chop, chop, Hennig takes bounces FLAIR'S head off the table, rolls in to break the count, then goes back out with a double sledge. Flair right back with a chop. They're trading blows fast and furious now - Hennig takes Flair's head to the barricade. Flair slumps to the floor. Hennig back in the ring - now Flair trying to get in - but Hennig has him in a facelock - there's a suplex to bring him in - 1, 2, shoulder up. Hennig expresses umbrage, J. gets a little miffed. Hennig's on him with rights, let's take an ad break just in case you're interested in this match...

There's another WCW Mayhem ad, yup

When we come back, Hennig is still on top of Flair. There's a knife-edge chop. Now Flair - now they're trading. Whip into the corner - FLAIR FLIP! Flair falls to the floor, but manages to best Curly Bill on the outside. Coming back in, Hennig again gets control. Into the corner, there's a back body drop as Flair comes out. Two chops and a whip, but Flair puts up the elbow. Flair climbs to the top - but he NEVER gets that move off! Hennig beals him across the ring. Gutshot from Flair, chop, pulling him out to the centre, and there's the figure four! Curly Bill tries to reach out but J. see it - Hennig grabs the bottom rope. Flair is reluctant to let go of the hold, but does. Flair with a chop block. Hennig limping nicely. Poke to the eyes from Flair, kick onto the knee - back suplex - but Flair hit hard as well. Perfect with a right - bending the shin - draping the knee across the bottom rope, and dropping his butt on it. Kick onto the knee, another stomp, right hand, knife-edge chop - Flair nods. Another chop, Flair tries to shake it off again. Chop, Flair back with a chop of his own, chop, chop, right hand, short rights to the face in succession - Hennig to the apron - Flair picks him up and throats him on the top rope. Curly Bill on the apron - Curly Bill down with a chop. Stomp for good measure. Hennig buries his head in Flair's abdomen through the ropes, shoots through into a cover, keeping his feet on the middle ropes - 1, 2, no. Hennig puts his feet on the top rope, Vince over to add some leverage - 1, no - 1, no - DAVID SAMMARTINO - ERR, FLAIR is out to pull out Curly Bill's feet. Hennig turns back to see what happened, Flair pulls the tights and gets a foot on the second rope for good measure - 1, 2, 3!!! (10:23)

Still to come - the main event! And they better hurry - it's five to the hour! Let Us Take You Back Four Weeks and show you the bat shot on Bret Hart from the man formerly known as Lex Luger. We'll be right back!

One more shill for the Slim Jim party - there's all KINDS of prizes over at!



RICK WOOF WOOF v. BRET CLARKE & CHRIS BENOIT - The Package's entrance takes WAY too long, especially with so little time left in the show. Hart & Benoit enter together - we're already one minute into overtime as Hart rushes Luger while Benoit take on Steiner. Why yes, it IS a Pier Four Brawl, thankee. Hart and Luger quickly to the outside and to the commentary table. Heenan: "You're gonna see four men just GETOUTOFTHEWAY!" In the ring, Benoit is having little trouble with Steiner - but runs into a bodyslam. Steiner raking the face. Liz tried to get involved but Hart chased her back. Steiner with an armbar in the ring while Hart works on Luger's back. Benoit hits an inside cradle but referee "Blind" Nick Patrick has chosen THIS moment to go outside and try to get the other two guys back up on the apron. Hart takes Luger's head to the apron while Benoit puts the Crippler Crossface on Steiner. Steiner doesn't quit, however; Luger is in to break the hold. All four men in the ring. Steiner hits a belly-to-belly suplex on Benoit and takes him out of the ring. Doubleteam on Hart - but Hart hits a double clothesline. All three men up slowly - Luger and Hart up first. Hart swings, but Luger ducks and applies a big full nelson. Holding him for Steiner. There's a TOTALLY namby-pamby gutshot from Steiner. Deciding to come off the ropes, Benoti pulls him down. Hart's trick knee acts up while Benoit suplex Steiner and makes the "thumb 'cross the throat" signal. Meanwhile, there's an atomic drop on the Package. Swandive headbutt from Benoit! SID VISCOUS in to screw us all over (DQ 3:49) - crowd chants for Goldberg as Hart and then Benoit are left laying. Double powerbomb on Benoit. Package throws Hart back in, Steiner stomps on him, and Package puts him in the rack. Here's COLD BEER - there's a spear for Steiner. Sid stands in the ring with a mic. "Goldberg - remember, you can't touch me or you lose your oppor-tunity! Remember Bill." Goldberg steps through the ropes, then does one of those "hell with it" spears, much to the crowd's delight. Tony: "HE TOUCHED HIM! HE TOUCHED HIM!" Heenan: "ISAWIT ISAWIT!!" Steiner and Vicious are left laying. Goldberg tells the camera that he's gonna rip Sid's throat out at Havoc as we fade out.

[slash] wrestling




Copyright (C) 1999 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications