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NWA Total Nonstop Action by Karlos the Jackal





BLAMMO!!! WE ARE LIVE! NWA TNA!!! (10/16/02)

Mike Tenay and Don West (in a matching yellow silk shirt and tie) bring us the recaps! Jorge Estrada and Sonny Siaki had a falling out! HEY! They have live action pix of their wrestlers to hype upcoming matches, like WWE does! Cool! Also, Bruce and NASCAR driver Hermie Sadler have a problem with each other -- Jeff Jarrett takes Bruce's side, and Hermie gets B.G. James (the former Road Dogg) on his side. They'll tag up tonight! In further tag team action, not-related Chris and Rick Michaels (after a fluke win over Ron Harris and Sonny Siaki) will get a title shot against America's Most Wanted, "Tennessee Cowboy" James Storm and "Wildcat" Chris Harris! As far as the X Division goes -- AJ Styles takes on the "Pioneer of the X Division," Syxx-Pac! Finally, in our Main Event, Ron "The Truth" Killings defends his title against Curt Hennig! Send it back to Goldy Locks...

...who's talking to a sneering Jorge Estrada. Goldy points out that Siaki has "checked out of the Heartbreak Hotel" and Jimmy Yang is working All Japan -- what's the dealio? Are there any Elvises left? "Yeah, maybe the Flying Elvises have been All Shook Up a bit, but there's no need for you to get sweat on your Blue-Blue-Blue Suede Shoes. Now, with that being said, I have two huge announcements to make. First, The King and Priscilla are an item in the tabloid sheets once again. C'mere, baby. C'mere, 'Scilla." Enter blond strumpet. "Second of all, I am holding a national search for a new Elvis. Tonight, at the NWA Asylum, I will have tryouts. And I will look for an individual, not with wrestling skills, but who can Shake...Rattle...and Roll, just like The King himself." X-Pac comes out of the door behind them -- oopsie face and he skulks off. Goldy wants clarification -- wrestling doesn't matter? Only charisma? Just then, Brian Lawler shows up. "I got a question for ya. Where -- is -- April? I know you two are friends and you talk all the time -- where she at?" Goldy demurs. Lawler: "Oh, shut the f -- LISTEN. If ANYTHING'S going on, I'm holding YOU personally responsible. You got it? You understand?" Personally, I think Goldy could stand to sell wrestler's verbal assaults as more than mere annoyances. Anyway. Lawler leaves and Estrada gets back on: "Goldy, I have a few men in mind, but they must prove to me that they have what it takes -- they have the Elvis Jive" Behind them, that door opens again and it's April -- uh oh, looks like Pac's cameo wasn't a mistake, it's a plot point! Noted! And we move on!

David Young vs. Brian Lawler and MAN that's the UGLIEST medallion EVER. April strolls out a little late and Lawler's pissed. He yanks away a fan's sign and stomps on it. There's April's chair -- SIT! And WEAR THIS MEDALLION! Poor April. "Jerry's Kid" chant, bell rings, and we begin -- Young makes the mistake of having his back turned, and Lawler immediately hit a forearm to the back. Right, right, stomp, right, pause to glare at the crowd, Irish whip into a back elbow, and some dancing. Lawler goes over to make sure April's watching him. Right to Young, side headlock. Young reverses it into a headlock of his own, but Lawler shoots him off into the ropes, drops down, then leapfrogs. Tenay brings up Young's problems with his short-lived valet Bobcat from months ago -- woah, that'd be like WWE bringing up Muffy! Lawler's hiptoss is blocked and he eats one instead. Young hits an armdrag, a dropkick, and clotheslines Lawler out of the ring. Lawler gets back up and then falls (very contrived-ly) face first into April's crotch. He gets up with a disgusted look on his face, and needs some of Tenay's water to recover. I dunno if that's supposed to be a comment on Lawler or April (or, hey, Syxx-Pac). Lawler pauses to complain about the "Lawler sux" chants. Back in the ring -- oops, he trips over the top rope and goes sprawling. That was "in character." Young points and laughs at him. Lawler chooses to complain to the ref, and Young schoolboys him for a quick 2 count. Lawler misses a right, Young hits an atomic drop followed by an inverted atomic drop. Clothesline misses and Lawler hits a superkick. Crotch grab and pelvic thrust for the crowd, jumping fist for Young. Picks him up, full nelson Russian leg sweep (Jericho's Breakdown). Lawler wanders off. Back to choke Young with his boot. Now he's grabbing the ref's face and jawing at him. Back to Young -- forearm to the back. Back to the ref. The ref becomes distracted by the crowd (at Lawler's behest?) and Lawler trots over to lowblow Young. Ref seems confused; Lawler makes "I dunno" shrug. Lawler requests that the crowd tone down its "Jerry's kid" chants. Put Young's head between his legs (set up for a powerbomb) and gives a double bird to the crowd. Young stands up -- back body drop? No, he keeps hold of Lawler's legs. Alabama slam? Not that either -- Young spins around and then falls backwards, dropping Lawler on his face. I'll call that a "spinning reverse electric chair flapjack." Right, right, right, DDT, DDT, ANOTHER DDT. Cover, 1, 2, Lawler kicks out! Young with a scoop and a slam, makes "high risk move" signal. Going up top, moonsault misses. Lawler goes out to get his goggles from April -- Hip Hop Drop (called as such by Tenay) misses! That's a poignant camera shot of the goggles lying on the mat. Young goes up to the second rope this time -- facing the crowd -- and facing April, who gives him a little wave. Young, transfixed, stands there staring until Lawler climbs up and gives him a reverse DDT (kinda weak -- they both just sort of fall backwards) and that'll do it. (5:51, Brian Lawler pins David Young, reverse DDT off the second rope)

There's the NWA Crawl with a TNA Cage Dancer with ass spasms. Now let's take in a recap of Sonny Siaki and Jerry Lynn and their rocky relationship. (Upshot: Siaki's a jerk, a turncoat, and he injured Lynn's knee.)

"Born and Raised in the USA" plays and Lynn, in street clothes and limping, comes to the ring while Tenay puts over his history of knee problems. Lynn looks around at the "Jerry" chants. "Sonny -- I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt. I hold all responsibility for re-injuring my knee last week. But next week -- next week, I'm not gonna take ANY responsibility for what I'm gonna do to you! You wanna play? You wanna get down and dirty? I've bought and sold punk-ass bitches like you for the last fourteen years!" Crowd registers approval. "You think you're something new? I've heard your rap before. I've seen your rap before. And you know what? You're exactly what's wrong with this business today. You have earned absolutely NOTHING. But you want everything on a silver platter. Well, I'll tell you what -- you NEED someone like me for a reality check. And Sonny -- that reality check is gonna happen next week. And when all is said and done, you will have a new-found respect for this business -- and for ME. I PROMISE you THAT!" There's Siaki's entrance music. And there's Siaki -- MAN, he is OILED UP. "Hey, Goofy, you don't get it, do you? Sonny Siaki respects NO ONE. You see, there's a difference between you and Sonny Siaki. Unlike YOU, Sonny Siaki won't be a midcarder for 15 years. Sonny Siaki starts at the top, Sonny Siaki finishes at the top. Jerry Lynn, Sonny Siaki is LIFE." Lynn: "Well, Sonny Siaki, after LIFE...comes DEATH." He throws down the mic -- and Sonny Siaki rushes the ring, takes down Lynn, and works over the knee. Ace Steel and Derek Wylde come out for the save but are dropped by Siaki. Back to the knee. David Young and Norman Smiley come out with TNA security to break things up. Here's "Bullet" Bob Armstrong and Bill Behrens, Jorge Estrada, and Head of Security Don Harris.

Mike Tenay sits down and chats with Syxx-Pac. Remember ten years ago, in Global, when Pac was having matches with Jerry Lynn? Mike Tenay does! Syxx-Pac was X Division before there WAS an X division! Pac says that you can call the division what you want -- "what it is, is -- 'X' for 'Extreme,' 'X' for, you know, a lot of reasons. It's exciting. You know? It's not just how big a guy is, cuz you got Jerry Lynn, who's been heavyweight champion before, and he's also been X Division champion before. So what the X Division is to me is the cream of the crop, pound-for-pound, uh, of wrestlers in the world today." Tenay brings up Pac's involvement with the nWo, the Outsiders, and DX. Can Pac achieve that level of success today? Can he have that level of impact? "It depends on exactly what impact you're talking about -- I mean, uh, the positive impact? Or the negative? Cuz everyone knows my reputation for stirrin' up shit in the locker room. Uh, or whatever. Some of it's deserved, some not. As far as the positive aspect of it, you know, the way we changed wrestling, know, we'll never be able to recreate DX, or nWo, and that's not why I'm here, Mike. I'm here because the NWA is for professional wrestling fans. Okay? I'm not a sports entertainer, okay? I'm a professional wrestler. And I've been a professional wrestler for 15 years. You can label it what you want, but it's still professional wrestling. That's why I'm here." Tonight, Pac takes on AJ Styles to defend the X Division title. "AJ Styles, he's trying to get his respect, I understand that. I had to do the same thing. Well, he's gonna get his chance to get his respect tonight. And I'm not proud of how I won the X Division title. That's, you know, I didn't really win it. And tonight, I'm gonna prove that I AM the X Division champion."

Sonny Siaki vs. Jorge Estrada (with Priscilla -- oh! it is to laugh!)
Estrada immediately hits a spinning huracanrana. Chop, chop -- Siaki with a slap, Siaki's gut kick is caught and spun around, *Estrada's* gut kick is caught and he backflips out. Estrada gets the boot in on the second try, though, and hits a nice springboard legdrop from the second rope on a bent-over Siaki, taking him down to the mat. 1, 2, no. Priscilla looks straight out of an '80s movie about a sassy all-girl band. Siaki's in the corner -- Estrada charges into the back elbow. Siaki with the open-hand uppercut (what's the proper name for that?). Estrada in the corner, Siaki charges, Estrada goes up and over to the apron, grabs Siaki's head and yanks him down to the mat. Estrada leaps over the top rope, lands sitting on the top perpendicular rope, and moonsaults onto Siaki --1,2, no. Irish whip, Siaki grabs the ropes -- Estrada runs in and Siaki gives him a belly-to-belly release suplex OVER the top rope and onto the floor! Siaki out -- pumphandle -- he positions Estrada so that he's standing up, both of them facing the same direction, pumphandle still on, and suplexes him back, FLIPPING him over face-first on the padding! That's an EXCELLENT move. Siaki rolls in and out to break the count, slams Estrada into the steps, and gives him the right hand. Throws Estrada into the ring. Goes for the Flip Mode (somersault legdrop) and misses -- Estrada with a right, right, miss, Siaki scoops him up into a nominal Samoan drop. Cover, 1, 2, kickout. Irish whip into the corner, Estrada get the boot up into Siaki's face. Estrada up to the second rope -- there's a jumping tornado DDT. They're both down. Ref Scott Armstrong counts to seven before they're both back up --Estrada right, right, right, Irish whip and a dropkick to Siaki's face. Estrada with the huracanrana, then fireman's carry into a forward roll slam (Finlay-style -- Lance Storm and RVD do it too). Asai moonsault! 1, 2, NO and Estrada is saddened. Estrada has excellent hair, he really does. Irish whip into the corner. Estrada goes for the rebound Bulldog -- or maybe clothesline -- we'll never know, 'cause Siaki clotheslines him down. Cover gets 2. Irish whip blocked and Estrada hits a -- hmm, that's a little like Matt Hardy's Side Effect, I think. Covers for 2. Siaki rolls out for a breather. Estrada goes up top -- Siaki pulls Priscilla into the way! -- Estrada, going for (maybe) a double axehandle, overcompensates to avoid her and sails chest-first into the guard rail! Siaki rolls him in and hits the Siakalypse (reverse roll of the dice) for the three count. (5:15, Sonny Siaki pins Jorge Estrada, Siakalypse) As Siaki goes up the ramp, Lynn runs / limps down, takes down Siaki, punches, throws him in the ring and everyone (as before) comes down to break that up. It's like a live action replay!

NWA crawl, again, with asspasm girl.

Derek Wylde vs. Ace Steel (with psycho face and Mortimer Plumtree)
Steel runs the ropes and poses in the center of the ring. There's the bell! Steel grabs a side headlock into a drop toe hold and a fist to the back. Plumtree makes gestures -- he might be telling Steel to keep Wylde down on the mat. Wylde takes a headlock, Steel tries to reverse it but Wylde turns it into a hammerlock and a hip toss and a wristlock, with Steel prone -- no, Steel kips up and snags a wristlock of his very own. Wylde somersaults, kips up and kicks out of it -- there's a SNAP huracanrana to take Steel down! Steel adjusts his elbowpad and gets a side headlock -- shot off into the ropes -- shoulderblocks Wylde down, jumps over, under the leapfrog, into a Japanese armdrag, and another armdrag, and a drop toehold. Wylde floats over into the front facelock. To their feet -- Steel pick Wylde up and drops him over the top rope onto the apron -- right hand and Derek's still standing -- Steel runs the ropes, but Wylde vaults over and uses the head scissors to take them both outside. Pretty sloppy -- West proclaims it "beautiful," but points out that Wylde didn't catch all of it. Steel's against the apron -- Wylde charges in, gets elevated, handstand on the apron against the ropes, comes down in a huracanrana. Not bad. Back in the ring. Wylde goes up top and jumps off -- Steel catches him CLEAN (nice!) over his shoulder and runs him into the middle turnbuckle. (Wylde's legs are outside the ropes, but his head and shoulders are in front of the top rope.) Forearm to the head, slap to the chest, Steel puts Wylde's arms over the top rope -- Wylde's locked in with no place to go! Steel crosses the ring and comes back with a BRUTAL BRUTAL dropkick to Wylde's HEAD. Wylde drops to the mat. Steel puts him on the top rope -- going for the superplex -- THERE it IS. Steel misses a right -- Wylde tries to take advantage, but gets snagged in a double underhook. (They're facing each other; Wylde has his head stuck under Steel's arm.) Steel drops to one knee three times, driving the other into Wylde's chest each time. Steel gets Wylde up into a Gory Special -- trying to get hold of Wylde's head but having some trouble...finally, he gets his head and drops down from the Gory position into a neckbreaker. That's called the Twist of Cain, and it's be a really cool move if Steel could get it on quicker. In any case, it's good enough for the 3. (3:50, Ace Steel pins Derek Wylde, Twist of Cain)

NWA crawl and twitchy buttocks.

Miss TNA Bruce and Jeff Jarrett vs. B.G. James and NASCAR's Hermie Sadler
Bruce has one of those little AIDS awareness ribbons on his dress -- WHAT A HEEL! He's taking the dress off to wrestle tonight; that's the first time in a while (he's got his old Rainbow Express trunks on underneath). James has a mic: "Cut the music. well as the rest of the viewing audience: Welcome to the baby boy's playpen!" James is a DORK. He goes on to claim that Sadler can both drive AND wrestle, questions Jarrett's sexuality, and calls Bruce a "homo." "Remember the names Squirmy Hermie and Bizz-ee to the Gee-zee -- and the 'G' stands for Get it -- Got it -- Good." Wait, James calls Bruce a homo, but hangs out with a guy he calls "Squirmy Hermie?" Oh, wait, now *Jarrett's* got the mic, and he taunts Hermie. He claims that Hollywood bigwigs were at the race last week and want to cast Hermie in their new movie, "The LAST and the Furious." Any day now we'll have some wrestling.
Ah, there's the bell. Jarrett and James start. Jarrett with a knee, uppercut, right, right, Irish whip reversed, James' hiptoss blocked into a hiptoss for Double J. Kick to the back, right, whip, clothesline misses, James hits a flying forearm on the return trip. James sits Jarrett up and dropkicks him in the back of the neck. Cover gets 2. Tag to Bruce -- Bruce gets down on all fours and presents his protruding rump to James. Hermie begs for the tag while Bruce gets up and pretends to drive a car with his pelvis. There's the tag. Tenay says, "THIS is what we wanted to see!" Hmm. Bruce sticks out his ass and Hermie kicks it -- Bruce goes behind, double leg takedown, mounts Hermie and slaps the back of his head a few times. Hermie comes in again, Bruce drop toeholds him and slaps his head some more. Collar and elbow into an armdrag by Bruce. Bruce with a side headlock -- Hermie shoots him off and hiptosses him! OMG Hermie must have been receiving extensive wrestling training from B.G. James! Hermie tries for a headlock thing but can't quite figure it out, and so settles for a couple of stomps instead. Bruce pulls himself up on the ropes, and hey, James is RIGHT THERE so Bruce pops him one. Hermie gets a headlock and James gets the blind tag -- Bruce whipped into the ropes by Sadler, almost runs into James but pulls up -- Hermie's on all fours behind him, and Bruce, backing away from James, topples over him. That's CLASSIC tag team tactics right there. Hermie scuttles out of the ring as James grabs the prone Bruce's feet, spreads his legs, and STARES curiously at Bruce's crotchal region. James opts for an Irish whip instead, reversed, Bruce telegraphs the back body drop and James kicks him in the chest. Kick to the gut, pumphandle -- Bruce makes a pleased face and gyrates his bottom -- James is disgusted. Remember -- STRAIGHT guys only pretend to fuck men in the ass if the other guy DOESN'T like it! Jarrett takes a free shot at a distracted James -- Bruce runs over to stomp, stomp, stomp, slamming James' face into the mat, paintbrushing the back of his head. Stomp, tag to Jarrett, holding James open for the rib shot. Jarrett now -- stomp, stomp, Irish whip reversed, Jarrett's gut kick caught -- SWEET enzuiguri by Double J! That gets a 2 count. Stomp, choke over the second rope -- arguing with the ref while Bruce continues the choke. Whip into the corner, tag to Bruce. Bruce with a stomp, stomp off the second rope, again. Boot choke. Chinlock, right to the head, right, right, chinlock, right, stomp. Forcing James into their corner, tag to Jarrett. There's a few double team kicks. Irish whip, clothesline ducked, James in with his dancing punches. Dancing and a right for the incoming Bruce. Right takes JJ down, and there's the dancing kneedrop. Cover -- Bruce breaks it up at 2. Hermie in now, attacking Bruce with the three weakest rights in the history of TNA. Hermie's whip reversed, Bruce going for the back body drop -- NO! Hermie reverses into a snap suplex! Hermie clotheslines Bruce down as JJ and BG battle up the ramp. Hermie with and Irish whip and HE hits the back body drop. Cover gets 2. Up on the ramp, Brian Lawler comes out all Repo Man sneaky and hits James in the head with a garbage can. Bruce hits Hermie with a back suplex. Don Harris manhandles Lawler while Jarrett hits James in the head, again with the trashcan. In the ring, weird looking Irish whippery -- Hermie's back body drop reversed into a sunset flip, but Hermie doesn't go over -- Bruce's pelvic thrusts, oddly, don't help. Hermie sits on Bruce, hooks both legs, and grinds his groin into Bruce's face. In the absence of any legal men anywhere near the ring, the ref decides to go ahead and count to 3. (6:55, Hermie Sadler pins Bruce, sitdown on a sunset flip attempt) Jarrett comes in to discuss this. Bruce claims Hermie pulled on his trunks -- he should have won! He raises the ref's arm, but the ref begs off. Up on the ramp, TNA security helps James offstage. JJ and Bruce are arguing. Bruce puts on his tiara back on and hugs Jarrett -- Jarrett kicks Bruce in the crotch and gives him The Stroke. Usually, gay bashing = face turn, so we'll see where that goes next week.

NWA crawl and -- is that the only dancer they've got today?

FUNKY SOULFUL MUSIC PLAYS and out comes Norman Smiley! HOORAY! Ah, crap, he's taking on Ron Harris. DAMMIT.
Norman "Black Magic" Smiley vs. Ron "Nazi Sympathizer" Harris
Big "Ron Harris Sux!" chant breaks out. Collar and elbow, Smiley shoved down. And again. Harris with a knee to the gut, right hand, whip reversed -- Smiley puts up a "stop" hand and dances. Harris is annoyed and charges into an armdrag, and another, and there's another jaunty pose from Smiley. Smiley gets a headlock and goes to a wristlock. Whip reversed, Smiley into the corner, Harris rushes in but Smiley goes up and over. Chop to Harris, right, right, hiptoss attempt blocked and shoved down again. Harris' side headlock is ineffective as he's quickly shot off into the ropes; Smiley dropkicks the leg. Smiley goes for the Big Wiggle but Harris presents a counter-argument in the form of a back elbow. Right, right, into the ropes and back with a big boot. Harris pick Smiley up and tosses him out of the ring. Following now -- throws him back in. Bionic elbow. Scoop, but Smiley drops behind him -- kick to the leg, forearm to the back, kick to the other leg, another, Irish whip, elbow (no effect), clothesline (no effect), another clothesline takes Harris down! Smiley gets in his wind-up scoop slam on Harris! And THERE'S the Big Wiggle! Harris annoyed again -- clothesline misses, but the Big Boot nails Black Magic. Right, whip into the corner, following lariat and head grab, whip into the opposite corner, lariat head grab again, whip, lariat. Norman flumps in the corner. Whip, side slam, 1,2, no! Whip -- no, Harris hangs on and pulls Smiley back into a Cobra Slam (Cobra clutch into a slam, similar to Test's Full Nelson slam). That's it. (4:50, Ron Harris pins Norman Smiley, Cobra Slam) Harris decides to punish Smiley some more -- but Norman FIGHTS BACK! He takes Harris down with a discus punch, then chokes him and punches him, screaming all the while. This totally has a "nerd loses it and starts whaling on the school bully" vibe to it, which I'm digging. Don Harris shows up and tosses Norman out, then gets in a shoving match and staredown with his twin brother. Hmm, I can't WAIT for THAT match.

NWA crawl and "dancer."

NWA Tag Team Championship
Chris and Rick Michaels (challengers, no relation) vs. "Wildcat" Chris Harris & "Cowboy" James Storm

Rick is in neon green tights with black design, Chris is in the opposite. Tenay points out that Storm & Harris are still undefeated in tag team action. There's the bell! Storm and Rick Michaels get in each other's faces -- Rick looks like a much slimmer Hugh Morrus. Rick with a forearm to Storm's head. Right from Storm, headlock, shot off, but he shoulderblocks Rick Michaels down. Drop down, leapfrog, Rick Michaels with a kick to the midsection, Irish whip into the corner, Storm up and over, Storm whips Michaels into the corner *Michaels* up and over. Grabs Storm, Storm goes behind, Michaels muscles out with elbows and goes behind, but Storm twists and send Michaels out of the ring. Chris Michaels (no relation) comes in -- his whip is reversed, and Storm elevates him over the top rope and onto his partner. Tag to Harris -- Harris whips his own partner and elevates *him* over the top rope onto the Michaels (no relation). Harris then hits a slingshot crossbody to the outside. Back in the ring with Harris and Chris Michaels. Whip into the corner and back body drop by Harris. Tag to Storm. Right, right, whip reversed, Michaels clothesline ducked, ducked again, Rick Michaels grabs Storm's ankles from the outside and takes him down. Drags him out, slams him into the guardrail, and tosses him back in. Chris Michaels with a stomp, stomp, Rick in with a stomp of his own, Chris with a snapmare, Rick off the ropes with a kick to the back of Storm's head, Chris Michaels off the opposite ropes with a kick to Storm's forehead.. Rick with a legdrop gets 2. Rick with a left hand, Storm's face to the turnbuckle, side headlock but Storm falls out of it, tag to Chris Michaels (no relation). Hold open for the kick to the ribs. Chris with a whip, Storm ducks the clothesline and hits a crossbody; that gets 2. Chris with a leg lariat; unenthusiastic cover gets 2. Tag to Rick Michaels (no relation), holding Storm open for a punch. Knee lift to Storm's head, punch to the head, stomp stomp. Whip reversed but Storm holds on and hits a so-so huracanrana. Trying to tag Harris -- NO, Chris has his ankle! ENZUIGURI to Chris Michaels and THERE'S the HOT TAG! Rick comes in to take the inverted atomic drop from Harris, then a lefty clothesline off the ropes. Chris (the legal man) hits a double axehandle to Harris' back; Irish whip, clothesline ducked, and Harris hits another left arm lariat to take Michaels down. Harris Irish whips Rick Michaels into the corner and snags the rebound bulldog. Harris up top -- crossbody to Chris Michaels! 1, 2, Rick breaks it up. Storm in (illegally); he gets whipped into the corner by Rick Michaels, but gets the boot up and hits a -- well, kind of a tornado slop drop. He hooks the leg , but the ref is distracted by Harris and Chris Michaels, who have gone outside the ring -- GOOD, cause Harris and Chris Michaels are the legal guys. The ref's DOING his JOB. Chris Michaels gets up on the apron and goes up top -- the ref is still ignoring Storm and Rick Michaels. Storm is doing that face-up type cover, so Chris Michaels legdrops him from the top turnbuckle. SERVES you RIGHT, ILLEGAL MAN! Chris rolls Rick on top of Storm, and NOW the ref counts -- 1, 2, NO! Forget the nice things I said about the ref earlier, he's an idiot. Now Harris is back in against Rick -- right, right, Michaels rakes the eyes and pushes Harris into the ropes, where Chris Michaels (no relation) holds him. Rick charges in -- Harris ducks away but Rick pulls up short of his partner. Harris comes back with a left arm -- *Rick* ducks away and Harris clobbers Chris, who goes face-first into the announce table. Rick with a boot to the gut and a facebuster into the knee, but walks into a superkick from Storm. Storm covers -- 1, 2, no. Storm goes up -- ooh, Chris knock him off and into the guard rail. Rick Michaels whips Harris, back body drop telegraphed and he gets a kick, Harris misses the clothesline, Rick Michaels sneaks in a kick to the gut, then a facebuster -- then, as Harris is rebounding, Rick grabs the hanging neckbreaker. Tenay declares this the "Double Shot," so that combo may be a signature move, there. Chris Michaels hits a Savage Elbow off the top and covers Harris (OMG LEGAL MEN) for 2. While Chris argues the tempo of the count, Rick charges at Storm on the apron; Storm lowers the bridge to send Rick out. Back in the ring, Chris is over at the ropes -- Storm punches him, and he stumbles back to Harris -- CATATONIC! Chris Michaels is FOLDED in HALF and the 3 count is a foregone conclusion. (The Catatonic starts with Harris holding Michaels in a crossbody position -- like Bradshaw's fallaway slam -- and then spins him around into an uranage [Rock Bottom]. D-Lo has used this move a couple of times on Heat.) (6:44, Chris Harris pins Chris Michaels to retain the NWA Tag Team Championship, Catatonic) After the match The Hotshots hit the ring -- they and the Michaelses (no relation) beat down the tag champs for several minutes, until security comes out from the back -- yes, this is a recurring theme tonight.

NWA crawl. I hate this girl more and more.

X Division Championship
AJ Styles (with -- surprise! -- new manager Mortimer Plumtree) vs. Syxx-Pac

Plumtree's using his checkbook to build a stable to take over the X Division! Plumtree is visibly pleased with himself -- Jeremy Borash seems annoyed for some reason. Syxx-Pac is wearing his black trunks with white trim -- they say "PAC" on the legs. He does the WolfPac hand touch with the fans while Tenay name checks Brian Pillman, Jushin Liger, Rey Misterio, ad Ultimo Dragon. Ref displays the belt and there's the bell. Pac offers his hand -- Styles kicks it away. Pac's all "don't be like that" and offers it again -- Styles ignores it. Finally, Pac suggests the test of strength -- this, Styles goes for, only to have Pac pull away and give him some DX crotch chops instead. Styles kicks the turnbuckle in frustration. Pac with a kick -- no connection, Styles pulls back. Finally, elbow and collar tie-up -- Styles armdrags Pac, who sits on the mat and looks at Styles while Styles poses -- eventually, Pac offers a sarcastic round of applause. Styles is chewing gum; Pac re-ties his shin guard. EXCITEMENT. Tie-up again, Styles with a wristlock, Pac reverses, Styles kips out, armdrag to Pac. Pac ends up, again, regarding the cocky youngster from a seated position on the mat. Styles' body language: "I can't help it; I'm awesome." Pac's: "I see, so that's the way it is, huh?" Styles with a side headlock -- cranking it in -- to a hammerlock, reversal by Pac, takes Styles down to the mat and spins around on top of him; slaps him in the back of the head. We've seen Pac do that before in WWE. Styles is annoyed. Collar and elbow. Styles forces Pac into the ropes; there's the count from the ref. Styles backs off but comes back with a right hand for Pac. And another. Side headlock on Pac, shot off into the ropes, Styles shoulderblocks Pac down. Styles runs the ropes, jumps over, goes under the leapfrog, Pac's hip toss is blocked but he successfully hits the useless knee-over-the-neck flippyness. Styles retaliates with the more practical huracanrana. Pose. Pac is pissed 'cause he lost his bandana. He chops Styles into the corner and there's the kick trifecta. Boot choke. Bronco Buster Prance, but Plumtree's pulled Styles out of the ring. Back in -- collar and elbow -- side headlock by Styles. Don West thinks Styles should be the champion -- he doesn't like the way Syxx-Pac won the belt. Pac grabs the top rope and backflips out. Pac with a quick wristlock and a sort-of armdrag sends Styles out of the ring. Back in, Pac with a boot to the midsection, right, right, Styles is in the corner, chop from Pac, right to the head, takes Styles to the next corner and rams his face into the turnbuckle. Open hand slap to the chest. Whip into the opposite corner reversed, Styles charges in but Pac elevates him over the top and onto the apron. Styles immediately drops down, grabs Pac's ankles, and pulls him down, then wishbones him on the turnbuckle post. Back in, he drags Pac in, hooks both legs and covers for two. Pac's still selling the groin. Styles picks him up, chop, chop -- Pac crawls away and is draped over the second rope. Styles forearms his back, then runs the ropes and jumps on Pac's back. Styles does some sort of mocking little dance while Plumtree chokes Pac. Plumtree: "I'm takin' it home! I am taking that X Title home!" Cover gets two; Plumtree has issues with the cadence. Rear chinlock by Styles. Pac to his feet; two elbows and he tries to run out of it, but Styles slams him back to the mat. Kick to the back. Picks Pac up, forearm -- Pac with a right, right, Styles right, Pac right, right, whip reversed and Styles uses Pac's momentum to send him flying between the top and middle rope. Plumtree lays in the cheap shots. Pac is stumbling around the outside 'til Styles hits a NO HANDS somersault dive over the top rope. I'm sure there's a Lucha term for that but I don't know what it is. Styles throws Pac back in for a 2 count. Rear chinlock, but Pac does the leg twitch of determination. Styles seems to be doing more rest holds than usual, here. Pac elbows out, runs the ropes, and gets a boot in the guts. He's bent over like he's waiting for Booker's axe kick, but Styles leg drops him instead -- nice. Styles goes up top -- SPIRAL TAP MISSES! Styles clothesline is ducked, Pac hits the spinning heel kick! Another one, and Styles flips around! Whip into the ropes, and there's ANOTHER spinning heel kick and Styles is turned INSIDE OUT! DEVIL SIGN and Pac goes up -- TOO LONG, and Styles dropkicks him in the stomach as he comes off the top. Styles covers, 1, 2, no. Pac's in the corner, so AJ does the Bronco Prance and charges in -- Pac get both feet up, flinging Styles over the turnbuckle and onto the apron, from where Styles forward flips down to the ground (ouch). Pac goes up -- kind of a senton onto Styles -- less of a flip than a twist. Back in the ring, Pac with a Northern Light Suplex, bridge, and gets 2. Whip, kick, whip into the corner, charge, Styles gets a boot up - discus lariat, but Pac ducks and the ref eats it. Pac with a kick to the gut, AJ with one of his own, going for the powerbomb but Pac floats over and hits the X-Factor. Cover, but there's no ref. Plumtree in to kick at Pac -- Pac up with threatening gestures, ref up to stop him. The distracted Pac gets a forearm in the back from Styles while Plumtree slips away. Styles right, Pac right, chop, slap, chop, right, kick, kick, headbutt (!), boot choke, and THERE'S the Bronco Buster -- instead of bouncing, Pac hits 9 rights to the head before being stopped by the ref. Pac shoves the ref away and starts stomping -- the ref decides to disqualify Pac (what?!) and that's the match. (13:50, Styles wins by DQ over Syxx-Pac, Pac retains X Division Championship.) Pac decks the ref for this. I HOPE this brings out security AGAIN! Styles bails out. YES! Security runs in! Bill Behrens is with them -- Plumtree pleads innocence: "He (Pac) was cheating the WHOLE WAY! Oh, that's a fine how-do-you-do, Behrens!"

NWA crawl + girl.

It's time for the Don West Rant! Next week -- Siaki vs. Lynn! James vs. Lawler! And...other people!

Earlier today, Tenay sat down with Curt Hennig! Tenay brings up the AWA. Hennig: "AWA was *wrestling*. When you saw 'professional wrestling' on the outside of the building, the 'wrestling' part? -- it was THERE. The business has evolved a lot, and it's gotten a little mixed up an' that, but AWA wrestling? Ah, that's where I became my first world champion, when I beat Nick Bockwinkel, and then also held the tag team championships there, with Big Scott Hall." Tenay mentions his IC reign in WWF and US Heavyweight reign in WCW. "You go back to AWA, that's where I learned my basis of wrestling. I say the word 'wrestling' because I don't see the wrestling the way I would like to see wrestling, but I see it here in NWA." First impressions from last week? "It was overwhelming, the way the people reacted to when I came out; it was a surprise to them, and a surprise to me on how the people did reacted, because there's an old saying in wrestling: 'The people never forget.'" Tonight -- he takes on Ron Killings! "Let's get on Ron Killings, huh? This guy is out here, and he's a great wrestler, he's fast, he's strong, and he's been on top of this game for a while, and he holds the gold here. I'm not taking anything away from him, but I guarantee you one thing, Mike: if I've held belts in every other territory, I don't see any reason why I can't have a belt here in NWA." HE SAID TERRITORY! OLD SCHOOL!

Tale of the Tape: Hennig has the height, weight and experience advantage; this is the biggest test yet for Killings! It's Youth vs. Experience!

Ron "The Truth" Killings comes out first because NWA TNA is all about tradition! He's got a mic. "You know what? What TIME is it? It is time for the moment of TRUTH! TNA officials, when are you gonna show your punk-ass faces? When are you gonna grow a set of balls and stop hiding behind your damn titles? I got a title and I sure as hell don't hide behind it, either. Where are those responsible for making half-ass rulings and decisions around here? Do you actually think they're gonna show their faces? I seriously doubt it. You know why? Because they're all a bunch of punk-ass COWARDS. I was told by the board, whoever in the hell that is, that I would be able to give minority wrestlers -- who never get a chance, like *I* never got a chance -- a shot at my NWA world title. How long did THAT last, before the politics, the con games, and the bullshiznit came into effect? Not long at all, did it? And you know what else? Those same board members are walking around, talking about, "Ron 'The Truth' Killings is *ducking* the top contenders! Duck THIS, Bobaclocks (or something)! I don't duck NOBODY! Tonight, Curt Hennig's blood is on YOUR hands, not mine! That's right, Hennig -- you see, you may be the king of backstage politics, but in THIS ring, I AM the SHIZNIT. In THIS ring, I AM the Suntan Superman." Crown chants "overrated." "You know, I'm not the one overrated -- it's alla your MAMAS that's overrated. So Curt Hennig, get your ass down here -- and let's see if those muscles can back up that damn mouth."

Hennig comes out with a mic and a rebuttal (and a towel toss). "Ho ho ho -- let's just get one thing straight. You're out here flapping yer gums to everybody like you own the joint. Lemme give you a little advice there. You ever heard of the word 'respect,' punk?" "Respect?" "Don't talk back to me, punk! I'll come down there right now -- in fact, I'm gonna knock your ass off -- because I don't like you, no one here likes you, and as far as I'm concerned you can kiss my ass!"

NWA Heavyweight Championship
Ron "The Truth" Killings vs. Curt "Experience" Hennig

There's a staredown and gum swat. Collar and elbow tie-up. Broken up, no advantage. Another -- Hennig backs Killings into the corner, referee Scott Armstrong breaks it up. Hennig goes behind, Killings elbows out. They regard each other. Hennig goes behind again, takedown, floatover to the front facelock. Hennig keeps it on while you can hear Killings making "MMPH!" noises from underneath. West points out that Hennig just got here; some people might be upset that he's getting a title shot already. Killings gets his feet under the ropes, and so, with a head slap, Hennig lets him go. Killings rolls out. Hennig out -- chop, Killing (kinda) back body drops him onto the announce table, where he lands gracefully in Tenay's lap. Killings with a right, clothesline sends Hennig over the guardrail. Killings follows -- right, right, back over the guardrail, Hennig has a chair and jabs Killing in the gut, then hits him in the back with it. Killings down on all fours and takes another chairshot to the back. Chop, tossed back in the ring. Killings does something here to Hennig's eyes -- the ref's in our way -- Don West thinks that Killings pulled something out of his pants and whipped it into Hennig's eyes (something like salt, that is). Hennig is blinded. Right, right, right, kick, scoop onto shoulder, pelvic thrust, and powerslam. Plumtree's watching from the ramp along with Styles, Steel, and Ron Harris (has Harris joined the Plumtree family?). Killings with a kick, right, Hennig with a chop, Killings right, and maybe he goes for the eyes again. Hennig is hanging on to the top rope; Killings kicks his legs out from under him. And again. Cover gets 2. Right, right, whip into corner reversed, Killings up and over, cartwheel, split under the clothesline, jumping calf kick. Hennig turns the tide with a boot to the gut, knee lift, scoop but Killings' legs hit the ref (argh). Hennig puts Killing gently back on his feet, decides to go for a Hennigplex (yeah, go for your pinning move as soon as the ref is down) but HERE'S MR. WRESTLING III to break things up! Mr. Wrestling III and Hennig scuffle -- Mr. Wrestling III goes over to kick Killings or a bit -- back to scuffling with Hennig -- Mr. Wrestling III has a sizable gut -- James and Pac in for the save -- Mr. Wrestling III bails out and escapes through the crowd. Styles, Steel, and Ron Harris in the ring as well. I'll point at that, right now, the intruders are fighting amongst each other, while Hennig and Killings are unmolested, if that's any comfort. Behrens and "Bullet" Bob are out, as well as TNA Security. Oh, GOOD, I was worried that we'd have to suffer through a match WITHOUT all of them. Thank GOD. Anyway, the ring gets cleared and the match continues. Killings argued with the ref -- the match should have ended with all that interference, meaning that Killings is still the champ, right? Right? Killings HURLS the ref across the rings and leaves to slap Borash around. And "Bullet" Bob! There's security again. Hennig is still in the ring. "Bullet" Bob gets the mic -- Killings has two choices -- he can either get in the ring and defend the title, or he can stand out here and get counted out -- and LOSE the title! Scott Armstrong is counting! Inside the ring, Jeff Jarrett slaps the back of Hennig's head to get his attention, then lowblows him. Well, THAT makes Killings' choice EASY! He runs in and gets the pin. (8:55, Ron Killings pins Curt Hennig to retain the NWA Heavyweight Championship, Low Blow.) Play his music, but cut it off when he starts rapping! We're out of time!

Except for a quick promo -- there's the music of the Ministry of Darkness -- they are RETURNING on October 30!

In conclusion -- probably the worst show in some time to catch if you're interested in the X Division. Styles was the only X Division regular to wrestle this show, unless you count the brand-new Ace Steel and Derek Wylde. Lynn didn't wrestle, and we didn't see Lo Ki, the SATs, Red, Kid Kash, or even Tony Mamaluke or Shark Boy at all. That, plus the fact that TNA Security got more camera time than anyone else, made this a pretty disappointing outing.

Karlos the Jackal
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