Ohio Valley Wrestling by DrewDeuce
OVW for the week ended 12.08.2001
Last Week - You missed an AWESOME show, Bull Buchanan beat Trailer Park Trash and Flash Flanagan in a triple threat match and subsequently, is the #1 contender for the OVW heavyweight belt, Val Venis beat the bejeezus out of David Flair, Sean O'Haire~! debuted as the new Head of Security for Boland Services, Shelton Benjamin swore Vengeance against the Disciples of Syn for injuring Brock Lesnar, and made Jim Cornette feel bad for making a deal with Syn to get Leviathan in a match against the OVW Champion the Machine Doug Basham, but Cornette's ends apparently justified the means as the Demon of the Deep and the Guardian of the Gates of Hell beat the Machine and is the new OVW Heavyweight champion, oh, and I actually got some feedback.
I got more letters: Thanks to Logan, David (UK), and actual internet wrestling personality The Cubs Fan! Thanks again folks.
We are welcomed to the Davis "arena" by Dean Hill and James E. Cornette who is still in ecstasy over the Machine losing the OVW Heavyweight Championship last week. He says that we will see him get fired TONIGHT! But first . . .
"Mr. Wrestling" Nick Dinsmore and the Damaga vs. Sean O'Haire~! and Mr. Black (w/ "King" Kenny Boland, Jerome Crony, and the Prototype)
Mr. Black is pantomiming that he's not pleased with O'Haire's presence and he wants to start out against Dinsmore. They lock up and trade a few rights. Black, who is listed at 388 lbs., gets winded pretty quickly and tags in O'Haire. The Prototype joins Hill and Cornette at the announce position and says that there is no problem with Boland Services. He also says that he will be the next OVW Champion. Cornette just wants to know if Prototype can do the impossible and get Boland on a diet. O'Haire catches Dinsmore flying off the ropes and powerslams him to the mat. He picks Dinsmore up and slings him into the ropes where he tags in the Damaga, and they stereo dropkick O'Haire back into his corner where Mr. Black makes the blind tag. Black gets winded again pretty quickly as Dinsmore and the Damaga utilize double-team tactics to their advantage. He goes for a splash off the top rope, but Dinsmore rolls away in time and makes the hot tag to Damaga. Damaga hits the Stinger Splash on Black in the corner and gives O'Haire a spinning headscissors. Snap neckbreaker to Black but O'Haire makes the save at 2. Black is set up for the Brain Damage (which is the X-Factor, I think), but he feels O'Haire coming at him from behind, ducks, and O'Haire clotheslines Black by mistake. The faces then stereo punch O'Haire down, which allows the Damaga to cover Black for the 3 count. Prototype blames Black for being out of shape.
Winners: Dinsmore and the Damaga via pinfall at 3:43
Cornette says to turn on the VCRs and call a friend because in 2 minutes he will fire Doug Basham, the Machine!
When we come back Dean Hill, James E. Cornette and a couple of refs (Briscoe & Ramsey)are in the ring. Cornette says that it occurred to him that he could have fired Basham on the spot, or he could have pulled an "Eric Bischoff" and fired him by phone, but he decided that he would rather wait until tonight so everyone could see him get fired. He says that Basham is a "low-life, lowdown, obnoxious, arrogant, egotistical, crooked, conniving, disrespectful son of a bitch." Cornette's face is beet red from screaming, and I have to borrow Keith's line about not knowing someone could talk that long without taking a breath. He spouts history of how Danny Davis founded OVW 8 years ago and how his nephew, Doug Basham was going to be the cornerstone he built the company around. He says that Basham got discouraged because he wasn't a star right away and when Nick Dinsmore came around and began to surpass him in every way, he grew jealous and did what he always does, Quit. Cornette opines that Basham kept following OVW and heard about the WWF developmental deal a couple of years ago and saw the tv show on Saturday nights and how they talked about Dinsmore being Davis' star pupil and Basham got even more jealous. So you concocted this Machine business and tricked us into bringing you in before we knew what was going on. He put Trailer Park Trash and Flash Flanagan in the hospital and had Big Bad John do a number on Cornette and put him in the hospital. When he returned, Cornette would have fired Basham on the spot, but for one thing, he had won the OVW Heavyweight Championship, and he didn't want Basham leaving with the belt and devaluing it for everyone else (At least someone still values belts). Cornette fires Basham and tells him to get out of the building and never come back. Basham, who has waited thru all of this, says to hold on a minute because he has a piece of paper, and that paper is a "standard" OVW wrestling contract. Cornette says that those contracts are only good for 2 years, and Basham signed that 8 years ago so hit the road. Basham proceeds to flip over to PAGE 2 of his contract where under the terms of agreement the two years was marked out by his uncle and he wrote in that Basham would be an OVW contracted wrestler for life. Cornette begins a coronary, but it's not over. An addendum states that if OVW is still in business after 5 years and is a profitable entity, that Basham would have the opportunity to purchase 25% of the company for an agreed upon price of $25,000. Basham, who has been pantomiming the terms of the addendum, pulls out a cashier's check and shoves it in Cornette's face. Cornette says that this contract is worthless and will never hold up in court, but Basham's lawyers have told him it's legit, so he wants to go to court if that's how Cornette wants to handle it. This brings out "Nightmare" Danny Davis himself who says that he bought Basham his first pair of wrestling boots and has grown tired of listening to him cry for the last 4 years, so he punches and kicks Basham out of the ring while the refs, Cornette and Hill hold him back.
When we come back from commercials, we see a skull on the floor with an apparent bullet hole in its forehead. The sounds of Sistah Sharmel talking about Syn from last week can be heard. We pan up to see Syn herself sitting on her black leather couch, and sipping wine in a silk robe (Now I've got the heebie jeebies). She turns off the tape in disgust and turns to the camera watching this scene and says that Sistah Skank doesn't carry enough weight in her ghetto booty to do anything to Syn (I'll say), and if she gets in her way, she'll yank her bleach blonde hair out and send her packing back to 7th Street where she belongs (That's where the sleaziest, nastiest, redneckiest strip bars are in Louisville).
Southern Tag Team Championship Match. Jason Lee and Derrick King, the Suicide Blondes (w/Sistah Sharmel) vs. Damien and Pain the Disciples of Syn (w/Syn and Connie Swale who now has black instead of blonde hair).
Pain and Lee lock up to start out. Cornette is still in shock over Basham's revelation and speculates that a lengthy court battle is in OVW's future. Lee works over Pain and then tags in King and they double suplex Pain. He recovers quickly and tags in Damien. Enziguri on Damien by King and the Blondes double-team him in their corner. Superkick to Damien brings Pain back in. No tag that I saw, oh the refs back was turned so it's all good. Pain takes over and kicks King in the corner. Irish whip is reversed and King facebusters Pain. No cover attempt and both seconds are tagged back in. It becomes a Pier 6 brawl as the Disciples try to whip the Blondes into each other, but Lee leapfrogs King and they just end up switching opponents. This brings in Sistah Sharmel and Syn for the "catfight." Even Joey Styles wouldn't get excited over this one. Syn grabs Sharmel's hair and goes to rip it out, but it's just a wig! Gasp! Sistah Sharmel is really Sharmel Sullivan!!!! Up till now the ref hadn't called for the DQ, but Shelton Benjamin of the Minnesota Stretching Crew comes in looking like Sting with the black trench coat ensemble and a steel chair which he uses to clear the ring and Pillmanizes Damien's leg! Ref calls for the bell.
No winner. DQ (interference) at 3:20
Strap Match: Mark Henry vs. D'Lo Brown
D'Lo does the time-honoured heel tradition of coming to the ring for the strap match, deciding he doesn't want to be tied to his opponent, and attempting to take a walk. Henry grabs D'Lo and holds him so the referee can tie the strap to D'Lo's hand. D'Lo still tries to run and heads outside the ring so Henry slings him back into the ring with the strap. Mark beats D'Lo down and touches 2 corners, but D'Lo breaks it up. Henry slams him and touches 3 corners, but again, D'Lo is able to recover and break it up. D'Lo takes over with some rights and attempts to slam Henry but he hasn't lost THAT much weight. D'Lo gets frustrated and just starts to punish Henry with the whip. Some vicious slaps across the chest by D'Lo to Mark. D'Lo then touches 3 corners, but Henry yanks D'Lo back across the ring with the strap in a cool visual. D'Lo goes to the top rope, but Henry yanks the strap again crotching D'Lo. Henry whips D'Lo some more, and then ties him up with the strap so they do the standard face drags heel as he touches 3 corners while the heel does also unbeknownst to the face. Of course, Mark was going a little too fast and the ref had to hold him up a bit so D'Lo could touch the first corner as well. After the 3rd corner, D'Lo makes his move and Henry slings him over his shoulder and into the 4th turnbuckle, giving D'Lo the win.
Winner: D'Lo Brown at 4:19
Street Fight: Flash Flanagan vs. Trailer Park Trash.
Flash has the mic and says that HE should have won the triple threat match betwixt them and Bull Buchanan last week. TPT cost him that match, and Flash says tonight it will cost him. Before Trash hits the ring, Flash grabs a trashcan and gets ready. Cornette talks about how Trash works at a paint shop over in Louisville and wrestles not because he'll get a WWF contract and be a big star (he won't), but because he loves the business. Trash wrestles in jeans and a black t-shirt and LOOKS like the guy who paints your car to spell it out for you. The former best friends go right at it with Trash gaining early control. Hill says don't hit the can or go to the kitchen and miss the rubber match in their 3-match series. Nidia is shown in the front row again. Flash sets up a chair in the ring, slings Trash into the corner, and uses the chair as a springboard to launch himself into Trash Hardy Boyz style. Flash puts the chair on Trash's head and tries a springboard legdrop, but Trash gets up and PASTES Flash with the chair. Cornette talks about how Trash's doctors say his wrestling career is over after the piledriver the Machine gave him earlier in the year, but Trash loves the business too much to quit. Flash got busted open from the chair shot and Trash worsens it with shots from the trashcan. He holds Flash up and as the camera closes in, pounds the wound bringing a steady stream of blood flowing down Flash's face. As Flash lays in the ring and bleeds to death, Trash heads outside and sets up a ladder between the ring and a wall of the "arena." Trash comes back in and takes a metal sheet to Flash's head, turning his bleach blonde hair a bright shade of red. As Trash goes out for a table, Flash uses the ropes to prop himself up and give Trash some kicks to the head. Trash simply knocks Flash's feet out from under him and covers. He only gets two, however, as Flash's foot was on the rope. Then Cornette talks about how this is a Trailer Park Street Fight and the rules are there's no rules (except foot on the rope stops a count I guess - hee hee). More punishment to Flash who's become "Massive Head Wound Harry." Trash tries to send Flash across the ring, but Flash doesn't have enough energy and crumples to the mat. Trash props up the table in a corner, which allows Flash to pull himself up again and get a boot up in Trash's face and do the Whiplash (Buff Blockbuster, I think). No cover as he instead, sets up the table in the middle of the ring. He puts Trash on the table and climbs the ladder outside the ring. Trash recovers and follows Flash up the ladder but gets his head rammed into the ladder and is sent crashing back into the ring and thru the table. Flash passes out and falls back into the ring himself landing with an arm over Trash's leg giving him the pin!
Winner: Flash Flanagan at 6:22
Interview - David Flair
David talks about how his dad is co-owner of the WWF and nobody seems to like it. He says that people want to make the Flair name look bad and put him out of wrestling, but he will never quit. Yes, that was it.
OVW Heavyweight Title Match: Leviathan, the Demon of the Deep and the Guardian of the Gates of Hell (w/Syn) vs. Bull Buchanan.
Lockup to start and Leviathan shoves Bull down and punches him in the corner. Powerslam and Bull retreats to a corner where he can prop himself up and give Leviathan a kick to the face. Bull uses his catlike agility to come off the top rope and deliver the double axe handle to Leviathan. Spinning reverse neckbreaker and Buchanan pounds Leviathan to the mat. Cornette whines that despite the fact that Syn did perform her end of the bargain and Leviathan beat Machine for the OVW championship last week, Basham is still here and now he owes a favour to Syn on top of it. Buchanan wants to chokeslam Leviathan but he blocks it twice with his leg. Bull gets frustrated and legsweeps him down so he can go to the top rope, but nobody home as Leviathan moves out of the way. Steinerline by Leviathan on Bull and spinebuster for a two count. Bull set up for the chokeslam, but Bull rakes Leviathan's eyes and pushes him into the ref. While the ref is out, Bull gets the spinning double axehandle on Leviathan, but the Revolution (Big Bad John, Johnny Spade, and Queen Victoria) attack and beat the crap out of Bull. Flash Flanagan (still covered in blood) makes the save with a garbage can lid and leaves the two competitors by themselves in the ring. Off camera you can hear another whack with the trashcan lid on somebody, but no shot of it. Dean Hill "ooohs" like it was a vicious one tho. Leviathan then powerbombs Bull and the recovered ref counts three.
Winner: Leviathan at 4:45
Post-match. Flash comes back and attacks Leviathan, but the Disciples make the save and beat Flash down as we're out of time.
Stuff nobody cares about: I forgot to mention Ben Folds last week. I saw him in concert last weekend and it was incredible. If he's coming anywhere near you GO! He puts on a great show, and his new album is worth picking up or downloading so get to it. I have to miss my beloved Seahawks play on Sunday night this week so I can watch Vengeance over at a friend's place. I'll probably tape the game and watch it when I get home if the game isn't already over when I get there. Why oh why must they be on tv (one of the few times I can see them without going to a bar) opposite a PPV? God, Tagliabue, and McMahon hate me, that's why. Oh well, hopefully, they embarrass the Donkeys and we leave the AFC West having swept them. Probably not tho, if I know my Seahawks. See ya next week.
Thanks for reading.