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/16 November 1998





Last night at the Survivor Series, TV-PG-V box, Shane did NOT count the third count, instead flipping the double bird to Austin.

NEW Opening Credits! Hooray! I still can't make out any of the words, though...

It's RAW is WAR LIVE 16.11.98 from the Rupp Arena in Lexington, KY, with a record crowd in attendance - the care is also broadcast on USA and TSN, closed captioned for the hearing impaired (what?) and en espanol donde sea disponible.

Shock! The show opens with VINCENT K., introduced with his entourage. Now, it's "the owners of the World Wrestling Federation, SHANE & Mr. McMahon." New on-screen graphics, too. "Thank you for that warm Kentucky reception! Last night at the Survivor Series, my son Shane and I proved that whoever it was that said 'you can't fool all of the people all of the time' was a damn fool. A damned fool is someone who insists on doing things the hard way. A damned fool is someone who embraces middle class ethics and values." ["Austin" chant] "And a damned fool, a damned fool is someone who doesn't pucker up and kiss the boss' ass. Nownownow waitaminute, now don't tell me all of you don't kiss the boss' ass, I know you do, you probably don't just kiss it enough! Right now, I would like to introduce you to someone who certainly is no damn fool, oh no, he's not the People's Champion, he never was; he's always been MY Champion. Ladies and gentlemen, the World Wrestling Federation Champion - the CORPORATE Champion - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE ROCK!" As Ross bemoans the fact that the Rock is "a Corporate butt-smooching Champion" and other fun words, your NEW WWF Champion walks to the ring, and embraces the McMahons. "Ladies and gentlemen, listen up to the Rock!" "You know Mr. McMahon, all day long the Rock's phone has been ringin' off the hook, and the message has been clear. Why Rock Why did you sell out? Well, actually, the Rock never sold out - the Rock just got ahead. Now, will some of you call the Rock a kissass?" [pop] "Well I'm sure you will, because quite frankly, you are all unintelligent pieces of trailer park trash - do you smell it? Now, you pieces of trash - you work your candyasses off day after day after day, 9 to 5, for minimum wage. Well, the Rock did what the Rock had to do to get to the top of the World and that is him standing smack dab in the middle of the Corporate ring, your WWF World Champion! Now, sure, you pieces of trash, you work hard, you do what you have to do, day after day, and quite frankly, you're all no different from a big piece - the biggest piece of trailer park trash in Stone Cold Steve Austin. Well, I'll tell you what, you and Austin, you can have your morality, you can have your honesty, you can have your blood..." ["Austin" chant] "you can have your blood, your sweat and your tears, I'll tell you what, all that hard work, fifty cents couldn't buy you a cup of redneck coffee. Now: 'Die Rocky Die.' 'Rocky Sucks?'" [pop] "You see, the Rock NEVER, EVER forgot that, and he's gonna damn sure make sure that you NEVER, EVER forget it as well. You see what the Rock plans on doin' is he plans on raisin' the Peop- oh, I'm sorry, he plans on raisin' the Corporate Eyebrow, he plans on planting ya with the Rock Bottom, and the Rock damn sure plans on layin' the smack down on your candy ass with the most electrifying move in sports entertainment today, THE CORPORATE ELBOW. Now, the Rock said that he would rather be the People's Ass than to ever kiss his. But now, the Rock says, he would much rather kiss Mr. McMahon's ass than to EVER, and the Rock means EVER, kiss yours if you smell what the Rock is cooking!" McMahon: "I was just wondering, uh, what's it like to kiss Mr. McMahon's ass? I've often wondered what it's like." Shane: "If I may, I kinda like it." "And if the Rock may, hell, he's a millionaire, he's a WWF Champ, you DO smell what the Rock is cooking." "Oh yeah, I definitely smell it. All right, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, Oliver Stone eat your heart out, you want to talk about a conspiracy theory, you wanna talk about how we pulled all this together, and the trials and tribulations and the sacrifices of everybody in this ring, let's take you to the videotape now ladies and gentlemen..." as Mr. McMahon promises to lay it out for us. To demonstrate, let's watch the TitanTron - oops, it's STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN arriving in the building. Well, that ruins everything, doesn't it. "Okay, so Austin's here, good, I'm glad Austin's here, because now he can take a look at this footage just like the rest of you."

Let Us Take You Back to Three Weeks Ago where Shane McMahon tells Vince he hired Austin back. A week later, Shane enters the cage to pull Big Boss Man off of Austin, and Vince tells Boss Man to let him go - this time. A week later than that, we see Boss Man ready to "attack" Shane until Austin made the save, showing a flaw - that he actually cares. That same week, we see the Rock laid out on the floor - but he was apparently never really hurt. Let's see Mankind getting his makeover as Vince says "you can't shine ca-ca!" Shane gloats about how he sucked us all in. Shane coming in to count the pinfall further the story. Turns out that Mr. McMahon SUBJECTED himself last week to the Rock Bottom AND the Elbow to further the story. And we see stills from last night's Survivor Series, the Rock has Mankind in the Sharpshooter - "Mankind gave up, he said 'I Quit!'" Shane calls again for the footage of "the SCREWING of Steve Austin." The look on Austin's face, says Shane, is absolutely *priceless*. Vince: "The screwing of..." do you hear glass? STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN has come out. McMahon reminds him that his new contract has a clause that specifically prohibits him laying a hand on McMahon unless he's provoked (we'll remember this later, I'm sure). Austin reminds us that Shane signed him to a contract that ALSO had a title shot for the day after Survivor Series - Vince says no way. Austin says, oh yeah, he's got a legally binding contract that says he DOES have a title shot tonight. And if you don't believe that the contract is legally binding well, hell, here's JUDGE MILLS LANE on the TitanTron to say that oh yeah, there's a Rock/Austin title match on tonight on RAW. Umm...well, okay. Lane didn't say "Let'sgititon" though.

Despite all that, let me back up a bit. Survivor Series: I've gotta say that that was a HELL of a storyline. Yeah, I'm biased, but damned if I can't actually back it up. I love being surprised. It's not easy to surprise me, because I'm intelligent AND cynical. Seeing the Rock turn was a damn GREAT surprise. This wasn't one of those "let's turn somebody" NWO garbage turns that aren't set up and make no sense. Get it? Get it?

Now, having said all that, if Austin wins the title tonight, I'm gonna turn on them again. Maybe. Let's see how the match goes first.

WWF Survivor Series Encore Presentation promo.

WWF War Zone for the Nintendo ad.

WWF In Your Hose: Rock Bottom is brought to you by Hasbro Interactive (You Gotta Love the Glove!)

NEW AGE OUTLAWS & X-PAC v. KURRGAN & GOLGA & GIANT SILVA (with Princess Luna Tunes and Insane Clown Posse) - hey, only half an hour into the show before we get a MATCH! Kurrgan and Gunn start. Lockup, to the corner, clean break, Kurrgan dances. Gunn turns it around and punches away. Whip, reversal, duck, big boot from the Red Baron. Pound. Whip, Gunn slides through and clips him. Tag to Jesse James and it's time for the wobbly kneedrop. 1, Kurrgan presses him high into the air. Armdrag from the Dogg, but Kurrgan bearhugs him into a side slam. Time for James to play dead for ten miuntes, I bet. Tag to Golga - whip and a double shoulderblock. To the corner - elbows to the gut, whip into the opposite corner - Golga lifts his shirt (pasty white abs!) and there's the Avalanche splash. Bodyslam by Golga - second rope - elbowdrop misses! James tags Gunn, who kicks away like a house on fire - Golga reverses a whip and Gunn hits a Rocker Dropper for 2. Kurrgan comes in to break up the count, so James is in - meanwhile, Shaggy2 Dope hits a top rope elbowdrop, only it's on Golga. Oops. Gunn covers - 1, 2, 3 (2:52). Ross: "Well, that made no sense!" Well, hell, we didn't even see X-Pac in this match. Well again, we didn't see Silva either, so I guess every cloud has a silver lining. Oddities argue with ICP as they walk away. Apparently, the replay shows that Shaggy 2 Dope thought Golga was Billy Gunn. Well, they're not exactly the brightest folk, I guess. That said, they can probably buy and sell me about five times before breakfast. Anyway, we come back from the replay to see the HEAD BANGERS putting the boots to Jesse James, then scattering when X-Pac and Gunn catch up to them. That wacky Road Dogg - ALWAYS the face in peril.

Moments Ago, a camera caught up with Mankind, who yells to no one "You made me cut my hair - you made me shave my beard - you gave me those stupid shoes - well I wouldn't want to be in your shoes, Vince...I'm coming home! I'm coming home!"

D-Generation X football jersey - such a deal at only $39.99 + $9 s/h. Yeah.

22 November sees the WWF at the San Jose Arena! Austin/Kane/UT/Rock! Shamrock/Mankind! Jackie/Sable! (Jacqueline misidentified as the Women's Champion) AND CRZ STAYING HOME AND SLEEPING OFF A HANGOVER!

Backstage, we see McMahon in a meeting of the Brain Trust. He's got enough to worry about with this unscheduled WWF title match without worrying also about Mankind. He wants Boss Man to stay close to him - now which one of you guys is going to talk to Mankind? When no one volunteers, Vince tells Patterson "you've known him the longest - go talk to him! Just remember...he's *gullible*."

KING KEN SHAMROCK is striding to the ring with purpose. Now he's got a mic. God help us all. "First of all, let me make it real clear. I ain't too happy about Survivor Series - I got SCREWED! The second thing is I'd rather be fighting than talking, but it seems to me this is the only way I'm going to get my point across. And Boss Man, you know I'm talking to you - you screwed me twice and you won't do it again, 'cause tonight in this ring, I'm challenging you to step in with me, face to face, man to man! Oh, and if that ain't enough, because I don't think you're that kind of a man to want to stand up on your own two feet, I'm even gonna throw in the Intercontinental title on the line! So I'll be waiting for your answer...Chump!"

Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler, who provide all commentary. Tonight: WWF Championship match - Rock/Austin! Sable! Boss Man/Shamrock for the Intercontinental title? Stay tuned!

VAL VENIS v. MIZARK HENRY (with Oh You Betta Recognise D'Lo Brown) - "Hello ladies. So this is the Bluegrass State - home of the Kentucky Derby! Well ladies, if you wanna cross that finish line in first place with the Big Valbowski, just hop aboard THIS stallion - bareback!" Lockup, right by Henry, right, right, whip, duck, Venis with rights, off the ropes, Henry throws an elbow, HE'S off the ropes, Venis with a lariat and Henry's down. Venis puts the boots to him, right hand, repeat, whip, Venis puts the head down and Henry with a big kick. Belly-to-belly suplex by Henry. Venis rolls out and Henry follows. Venis' back meets the apron several times. Henry picks up Venis and the lower back meets the ringpost. Back in we go, Venis punches back but Henry hits the eye gouge. Venis comes out of the corner with a clothesline, then the boots. Whip, follow knee to the gut. Repeat. Side Russian legsweep! Venis stands over his fallen opponent, bumps 'n' grinds, then punches away again. Up we go - whip, reverse, Henry lifts him high and lets him fall. Henry is stomping away in the corner. Just to shock us, CHYNA makes an appearance. Henry is SO happy to see her that he completely forgets that he's in a match. Venis rolls him up and it's over. (2:37) Henry gets the mic - he says that he knows that their lawyers have been having lots of talks, but all that would really take care of things is for them to have dinner - "no sex involved" - and then he reads a poem. D'Lo is so moved that he has to embrace Henry right there. Chyna walks off. We don't get a GREAT look at her new jawline - maybe it's still swollen?

Backstage, we see Austin preparing himself a cup of coffee - oh, he doesn't use EQUAL, does he? No, looks like sugar. Whew! Also, he takes time from coffee preparation to spit tebacky juice into another cup. Ewwww, say it ain't so, Austin. promo.

Backstage, Pat says he couldn't find Mankind. He looked all over but couldn't find the Boiler Room. "You couldn't find the Boiler Room? YOU COULDN'T FIND YOUR ASS!" Brisco says he knows where it's at. McMahon says "of course you know, he's sitting on it!" Brisco says, no, he meant the Boiler Room. So McMahon sends *him* out.

RAW is brought to you by the JVCKaboom!box - strap it on (err.), and Mr. Tees fine products, and "Stone Cold Metal," the greatest CD ever made (sure).

GOLDUST & STEVE BLACKMAN (with Riggs & Murtaugh) v. JEDOUBLEF JADOUBLEREDOUBLET (with Debra McMichael) & BLUE BLAZER - Well, it seems a LITTLE weird for them to be tag team partners, but once you see the opponents. Ross quickly says that that's Owen Hart dressed up in that getup. In Ross' favour, Blazer IS doing that Owen-esque, Flair-esque "Woooo!". Finally, Ross tells us that Debra got all her money from divorce. Goldust and Jarrett start with Jarrett delivering a knee to the gut. Right hand. Whip off the rope, over, under, Jarrett sets up for a monkeyflip so Goldust punches him instead. Flying clothesline. Uppercut, whip, reversal, Goldust goes down and punches. Ross smarms over the Blazer's "hideous looking circa-1960's lucha libra (his mispronounciation) costume." Meanwhile, we've had a tag to Blackman and another punch. Jarrett rakes the face to gain control, clothesline misses so Blackman goes to the martial arts kicks. Jarrett hits a dropkick, then takes his head to the turnbuckle. Suplex. Tag to Blazer, who puts the boots to Blackman, then gives another "woooo!" Blackman ducks a clothesline and pushes him to the canvas. Now Jarrett and Goldust are fighting on the outside (I guess Goldust and McMichael made eye contact and that pissed Jarrett off or something - you're not supposed to piss him off, you know) Blackman, on the inside, hits a martial arts kick and gets the pin! (2:09) Blackman signals that he's going to remove the mask, but before he can, he's attacked from behind by Jarrett...and OWEN HART (yeah, fuck you Ross!) is also out. Jarrett hits a Flatliner, then Blazer puts on the Dragon Sleeper while Owen hits a field goal with Blackman's jewels. Again. Well, who's the Blazer? Severn? Paul Diamond? Stay tuned...

Backstage, Brisco says he found the Boiler Room, but he heard some weird noises so he didn't go in. Slaughter makes fun of him, calling him a wuss, and says HE'LL go and bring back Mankind. Patterson and Brisco are openly skeptical. Meanwhile, McMahon takes the Rock aside to talk about the upcoming match. Boss Man shields the cameraman from the conversation so we can't see what they're discussing.

TV-PG-V! Slaughter says that Mankind is crazy, and he can't do it on his own. McMahon says fine, he doesn't care if they have to put riot gear on, all three of you take care of him. They argue amongst themselves and leave the room. Shane turns to the Boss Man...

STEPHEN REGAL (with the Fred Tomlinson Singers) v. GODFATHER (with six - er, three lovely ladies) - Hearing Lawler sing along with Regal's theme reminds me of how Bobby Heenan used to whistle along to Shawn Michaels' theme and how much that would annoy Gorilla Monsoon. Anyway. Credits show up as the ho's enter the rings. We see the TV-PG-V ratings box again just for the hell of it. Remember, Godfather is a face. I heard Flash Funk backstage yelling "dammit, that used to be MY hat!" Godfather does his spiel, word for word, offering Regal the chance at all three ho's for free for the whole night - we see two almost bare asses. Okay, that one ho probably showed her ass one too many times. Regal takes the mic. "Now normally, there's nothing I'd like to do better than kick your head in. But, I may be from England, but the last time I checked my name's Stephen Regal, not Elton John, so I'll take the broads!" Crowd chants "Regal" - yeah! Regal's the Man! He IS a Real Man's Man! As they walk off... "Hey, hey Regal! Hey Regal, you know what man, I didn't really think you were gonna take the ho's, so to quote what a good friend of mine Archie Bunker sez, 'England ain't nuttin' but a place full of fags.'" Well, because Regal is stupid, he turns around and rushes the Godfather, completely blowing what would probably have been the greatest night of his life. Dammit Regal...

Apparently, there's a situation in the back. Outside the building, we see KANE destroying any technicians he happens upon.

Backstage, Vince pumps up Boss Man for his match with Ken Shamrock. Then we see Shamrock knuckling up (or something).

The WWF Rewind is brought to you by that Glover thing. Austin hits the stunner on Mankind, but Shane McMahon only counts 2 - then flips 2 middle fingers.

KING KEN SHAMROCK v. BIG BOSS MAN for the Intercontinental Championship - Let Us Take You Back to Last Week, where Shamrock tasted the nightstick while facing Mankind. We'll remind you that last night he tasted it again facing the Rock. I was only a LITTLE disappointed to not hear Boss Man coming out to "Hard Time." Boss Man rushes the ring but Shamrock is kick and punching first. Off the ropes, kick ducked, back elbow hits, Boss Man is down and Shamrock has the nightstick. But referee "Blind" Mike Chioda won't let the stick be used, and in the process Boss Man has gained the momentum with a right hand. Boss Man puts him on the second rope and sits down on him hard - hey, Boss Man does trademark Boss Man moves! He slides under and delivers the uppercut. Now they're both out. Right. Shamrock blocks the head to the STEEL steps and takes Boss Man's head there instead. Boss Man meets the steps again before the come back in. Shamrock with the stiff kicks to the leg. Whip into the opposite corner and there's a clothesline - Boss Man folds in half. They're trading blows, now Boss Man is in control. Splash in the corner. Clothesline in the corner. Whip, and a spinebuster for 2. Boss Man takes him to the corner, whips him out, but Shamrock steps aside and Boss Man is left on the top rope. Shamrock climbs the ropes, springs off and hits the kick. Now they're outside and trading blows. Back in, Boss Man with the choke for 4. Then he does it again. Shamrock comes back with punches, and reverses their positions in the corner. Now SHAMROCK has the choke for 4. Another choke and Chioda comes between them, and says no more choking. Both men take a shot at Chioda at the same time. The fight continues while Chioda comes to and calls for the bell. (Double DQ 3:57) They're STILL fighting, trading blows toe-to-toe. Headbutt from Boss Man - the other three refs, Earl Hebner, and Tony Garea are out, but that's not going to be enough to keep these two apart. Now they're going at it again. Now VINCENT K. & SHANE McMAHON are out. "What the hell are you doin'? What the hell are you two doing? You're beating the hell out of each other, and for what? Not for me. Come on...Shamrock, Shamrock, listen to me. Stop that! Come on, knock it off! Shamrock, listen I said before you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer but you are damn sure the most dangerous and I can USE a man like you. You and I are a lot alike, Kenny, think about it...think about it. We've come from broken homes, everything we've got in life we had to claw, scratch and bite our way to the top - nobody ever gave us a damn thing. We're a lot alike and you know it. You think these people care about you? They don't give a DAMN about you! But I care, because I understand you, because I can give you the one thing that I never had and YOU never had, and you know what that is? That's family. That's family. Families stick together. Think about it. We've got a great Corporate Champion, a Corporate Enforcer, and EVERY Corporation needs a dangerous man. So what about it, Ken? Just think about it. Why not come on home?" Shamrock, who is the dumbest man in the world, shakes McMahon's hand. McMahon makes Boss Man offer his hand, and THEY shake on it. Shamrock and Shane shake hands while the refs exchange quizzical looks and shrug, then walk away. "Ladies and gentlemen, KEN SHAMROCK!" - it's FANtastic!

The camera is still following Kane - he happens upon some fans asking for autographs - God, fans can really be dumb sometimes, can't they? Kane chokes him until we see a cop car approach, sirens blaring.

GANGREL (with a burning ring o' far) & EDGE (with Christian) v. LOD TWO THOUSAND - How come they still have "ooh what a rush" to start their theme if they've booted out the guy who says it, HUH? Take a drink every time someone says "demons." As soon as they hear the bell, there's a doublteam and Edge is out. Double back body drop on Gangrel. Droz with a flying clothesline on Gangrel. Gangrel somes back, taking his head to the buckle. Tag. Double drop on the top rope. Christian holds him from the outside while Edge delivers a double team dropkick. Tag, doubleteam whip of Gangrel into Droz. Edge meets Droz. Droz comes back with a big slam and gets 2. Oh boy, HAWK is out and - he's climbing the TitanTron scaffolding. Both Droz and Animal decide to go check out what's going on with Hawk and get counted out (2:15) because they're STUPID. We go to ad break before we figure out what the heck Hawk's gonna do now that he's on top of the rigging.

When we come back, Hawk is threatening to jump! Animal: "This wrestling business ain't worth this!" "I want you to LIVE with this! I want to go out in a blaze of glory! He's misleading you! You don't know!" Animal is trying to talk him out of it and Droz is asking Animal how the hell he could have lived with that for so long. Now PAUL ELLERING is out to talk him down. Paul: "Hawk, Hawk I wish I could say I know how you feel, but I can't! What I do know, Hawk, is that you're a troubled spirit, I know that, Hawk, and I also know that right now you don't care very much about your life, but *I* care about your life! My family cares about your life! My kids still call you 'Uncle!' Hawk, listen to me, Hawk, remember when you, Animal and I would drive down the highway and you would tell us the story of your mother? Six months before she died, Hawk, you KNEW about it, and SHE knew about it, and every day she told you, she told you that things would always work out. You have to draw on that Hawk, you have to draw on that know. Hawk, you're not alone! Everybody in this world has failed, Hawk, you're not alone. Hawk, Hawk, please, come down here, we'll take it one minute at a time. We'll take it one hour at a time." Meanwhile, Hawk: "Shut up! Go to hell! Ellering - you were the beginning of my end! You, and Animal, and that stinkin' Droz and I can't wait - YOU stay down , don't you come up for me!" Because Droz is climbing up after him - which is probably the DUMBEST thing he could do in this situation. Animal: "Mike, so what it hasn't been our best year, so what, there's always next year, don't worry about it." Hawk: "You're the last person I want up here!" Droz: "It's all right - it's all over." Holy shit, Droz PUSHED him off! Everybody runs backstage as Ross gets REAL quiet "He fell - he fell -" and we cut to another ad break.

Man, I know it's dumb, but I really DUG this.

WWF War Zone for the Nintendo ad.

Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago - lots of replays as it sure LOOKS like Droz pushed him. As in, that wasn't an accident. Well, you DO hear Hawk hit the mat or whatever it was that he hit, and the shadow behind the TitanTron looks more like a piece of wood than a human body, but...dammit, it was STILL pretty cool. Lawler and Ross are both sober in their delivery - oh, damn, I didn't intend that pun. We see the ambulance take off as DOA console Ellering.

(THE LOVELY) SABLE comes out to be interviewed by MICHAEL KING COLE. Lawler perks right up almost instantly. Sable's not a wrestler, by the way. She dedicates the Championship to all the fans. SHANE McMAHON comes out before I get too bored and says that the fans didn't make Sable, Mr. McMahon made Sable. Shane talks about the unbelievable investment his pops has made over the past three years - how he took another beautiful face and made her a star. Sable says some stuff that I can't make out because I cringe at hearing her voice. Shane says "oh, you must have worked real hard, because that's what real women do." Sable says something about the only women he knows are the ones he can buy, but she ain't for sale. Okay. Say, why DID Mr. McMahon bring back Sable after she lost that loser leaves town match?

Ross reports that Hawk was breathing, which would be good news if he'd really fallen off the TitanTron.

Backstage, we see the Rock prepare for his title defense.

"MediEvil" brings you the Slam of the Week - Mankind explaining that he wasn't pinned and he didn't submit - followed by the Rock walloping him with the Championship belt.

We see the Two Musketeers and the Comissioner outfited in football pads and helmets (it's all they could find on short notice - Sarge is wearing his army helmet) - They enter the boiler room and call out for him (Patterson: "Mick....Mick, we love you...") - Mankind, of course, has some cool weapons and has no problem taking out all three of the Stooges. He walks on...

Backstage, we see Stone Cold Steve Austin - he'll be next (is this the last ad break?)

WWF Survivor Series encore promo.

One more time, VINCENT K. & SHANE are out, accompanied by Boss Man and now King Ken. I love how people bitch about Vince getting too much airtime just because I could live without EVER seeing Bischoff on my TV ever again. "I want to let you know I'm not too happy about this Championship Match. I resent the hell out of Stone Cold Steve Austin and the fact that he would stoop so low as to associate himself with legal eagles that would bring a contract into this ring, and let me tell you this: Austin, as far as I was concerned, last night was the last time you would EVER..." ["asshole" chant] "...boy that's Southern hospitality for you, isn't it. As far as I'm concerned, last night at Survivor Series was THE LAST TIME Austin would EVER come close to being the WWF Champion - he had his show and he blew it! Austin, you better be right, 'cause this is it. Tonight, in Kentucky, your last shot. Right now, I would like to introduce to you - the Corporate Champion - the World Wrestling Federation Champion - THE ROCK!"

THE ROCK (with Team Corporate) v. STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN for the World Wrestling Federation Championship - I wonder if those Rock shirts are still selling. You know the great, REALLY funny thing is all those people who ordered Rock shirts probably haven't gotten them in the mail yet, but by the time they get them they'll be HATING Rock again. The "Rocky Sucks" chant is back with a vengence. Anybody seen Kane or Mankind lately? Anybody see the Undertaker tonight? Well, anyway, Austin comes out and quickly fires away with rights, then kickin' and stompin' and stuff. Whip, duck, duck, Rock grabs the rope and goes outside to a thunderous wall of booing. Rock tries to walk back up the ramp, but Austin quickly goes out after him and delivers the forearms. Big right hand. Was that an Okie blow? Austin throws Rock in the ring. Snapmare, elbowdrop, 1, 2, no. Suplex with authority. Another two count by Austin as I'm distracted by a fan who jumped the railing. Rock hits a swinging neckbreaker and the tide turns. Rock actually pushes away the ref but doesn't get disqualified. Austin to the outside, Rock following, clothesline over the barricade. Now Austin comes back with a barrage of rights. Austin has a chair but Rock kicks him in the gut. Rock makes the drinky-drinky motion (why?) then puts the boots to him. Austin's head meets the Spanish commentary table and then, the Spanish commentators. Your Spanish commentators are Carlos Cabrera and Hugo Savitovich. Now Austin is firing back and the ROCK is laid out on the ENGLISH Commentary table. Piledriver attempt on the floor is countered with a back bodydrop. Lariat by the Rock. Mammoth "Austin" chant. Austin thrown back in. Right hand by Rock, whip, sleeper! Austin backs him into the corner, elbows out, right hand, whip, reverse, back elbow by the Rock. Bodyslam. Don't tell me - he's still going to try it - Corporate elbow (with drinky-drinky hand motion) HITS! To the rear chinlock. Crowd is RABID. Arm falls once, arm falls rwice, arm don't fall thrice. Austin is up, elbow out, Rock ducks a lariat and delivers one of his own for 2. MANKIND is out to get to Vince but Boss Man ties him up. Rock has another chinlock on while this is happening. Shamrock stands between Boss Man, Mankind and Vince and Shane. Now Boss Man is holding Mankind and Shamrock is putting the boots to him. Straight right hand from Shamrock. Vince is taunting Mankind while Austin is back up - they're trading blows - now it's all Austin. Kick, Stunner attempt is blocked! Rock Bottom attempt is countered - kick, STUNNER! Referee "Blind" Earl Hebner gets into position, 1, 2, Shamrock pulls him out! Meanwhile, UNDERTAKER & PAUL BEARER are finally in the building, Undertaker brandishing a shovel. On the outside, Austin slugs Shamrock and he and Hebner are back in. But Undertaker LEVELS Austin with the shovel. Hebner has no choice but to call for the bell (DQ 6:00). Undertaker rares back for another shovel shot, but Bearer stops him. The McMahons don't exactly know what's going on, but take this opportunity to take their leave of the situation. Amazingly, we fade out before Kane shows up. Maybe he doesn't. Good night everybody!

[slash] wrestling



Copyright (C) 1998, 1999 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications