/26 February 2000
|WCW Saturday Night by E.C. Ostermeyer
Hello, this is your "WCW Saturday Night" recap for Saturday, 26 February 2000, and I'm your recapper, E.C. Ostermeyer.
Scott Hudson and "The Living Legend" Larry Zybysko call the action. Hudson says that everything is different because of the actions of the "Chosen One" Jeff Jarrett.
We go right to the first match:
Match # 1: Disco Inferno (w/ Mamalukes) d. Steve Armstrong
WOW, check out the shirt Disco's got on!
Sign in the crowd: "Big Vito Rules!"
Disco does some impromptu dance moves on the top turnbuckle. For once, the Mamalukes don't interrupt him.
Steve Armstrong's got one of Buzzkill's tie-dye shirts on.
As Disco confers with the Mamalukes in the corner, he gets walloped from behind by Armstrong, and the match is underway.
A beatdown in the corner by Armstrong momentarily stops Disco, but he comes roaring back out of the corner with a big clothesline. Side Russian legsweep flattens Armstrong. Pulling Armstrong to his feet, Disco puts him in the corner, and starts a kick fest. A whip across the ring followed by a charge, but Armstrong ducks to one side, and Disco eats the turnbuckle. Wow! Armstrong does a "surfboard"! I haven't seen one of those since Mr. Wrestling. No submission from Disco, and Steve breaks the hold, then whips Disco into the ropes. Armstrong telegraphs the back body drop, and Disco rock'n'rolls into a Sunset Flip and a cover, but only gets two. Armstrong kicks out, gets back up and really clobbers Disco with a running lariat.
Disco really rocked by that lariat, still shaking the cobwebs out. Whoops, he's playing possum, and hangs a swinging neck-breaker on Armstrong.
Cover, but only a 2-count.
Steve back up, and is he p-o'ed! Clothesline to Disco, but he recovers and throws Steve Armstrong outside the ring for some "consultation" with the Mamalukes. The "consultation" comes with a "Brooklyn Two-step" courtesy of Johnny the Bull and Big Vito.
"Consultation" completed, and Mr. Armstrong is much the worse for wear. Disco Inferno, after a couple of softening up moves, hits the "Last Dance" finisher for the win. (4:41)
Hudson/Zybysko talking heads Segment 1:
Hudson and LarryZ shill the "Uncensored PPV" . Main Event is the WCW Heavyweight Title match: Sid Vicious v. Jeff Jarrett. Kevin Nash standee appears to be looking over LarryZ's shoulder. Larry doesn't like Nash's presumption, and back-hands the poster.
Commercials. Just the high spots
DDP book now on sale.
Some guy on the "Ripley" show with a novel way to make sure he gets enough iron in his diet.
Nitro/Thunder review showing Jarrett's aborted feud with Sid. On Nitro, Dustin Rhodes turns heel on Terry Funk. On Thunder, Rhodes calls Funk, the fans, and anybody within the sound of his voice a bunch of old losers, and some other choice epithets. Funk appears live on tape, and calls Dustin a big pile of horse crap, just like his daddy. Rhodes gets pissed and takes his frustration out on some WCW sideboys and ring crew. Guess this is supposed to cement his heel turn for good, hah? Lame!
This sets up
Match # 2: Dustin Rhodes d. Bobby Eaton
Rhodes has found some of "Black Jack" Mulligan's old togs. Very slow match, lots of resting moves, collar and elbow tie-ups, and just plain old standing around.
These two aren't fooling the crowd, either.
I've seen more enthusiasm in a cemetery.
LarryZ and Hudson continue to berate Rhodes for his heel turn on Terry Funk.
Finally some action, as Dustin locks an arm-bar, but Eaton manages to escape. My GOD this is exciting!
Sign in the crowd, "Eaton Rulez!"
Now THAT'S what I call a die-hard fan!
Eaton pummels Rhodes, flips him through the ropes, and follows to the outside.
Rhodes plays possum, and nails Eaton with four hard rights follwed with a hip toss onto the concrete. Running lariat by Rhodes sends Eaton back down. Shoot, I think BOTH these guys are playin' possum.
Both men back in the ring.
As Dustin sets up Eaton for the "Two Point Conversion " (ex-"Shattered Dreams") finisher, WCW's own Mr. Cameraman spots some of "Shark Boy's" family (all wearing Shark Boy masks) in attendance at ringside.
He immortalizes them on National TV. I'd swear he's laughing because the camera is jiggling...
(You know, that "Shark Boy" mask is so disgracefully bad it's almost cool! I can see it becoming the new fashion statement in high schools and armed robberies across the nation. Get one for yourself, and be a trend-setter!)
WCW showed a good minute's worth of this "Shark Boy" foolishness. We go back to the ring, and Dustin Rhodes is STILL getting ready to deliver the "Two Point" on Eaton. Jeez, this match is slow! Rhodes missed the move! He quite clearly got nothing but turnbuckle pad. Eaton's selling the hell out of the move, like he's just given up on having any more kids as a result of it.
Dustin untangles Eaton from the corner, whip across the ring, there's the (very sloppy!) "Bulldog" finisher, 1, 2, 3 (3:49), and thank God THAT'S over with!
Some fan holds up a whiteboard with the statement "Never forget the name DUSTIN", and after this match, I am afraid that I won't be able to.
Hudson says that coming up next, from the fertile mind of Gene Simmons: The Demon. But first, some
David Arquette uses a stunt double. Burt Lancaster did not. Douglas Fairbanks did not. Any questions?
Macho Man Randy Savage exhibits monomanic tendencies when confronted by inkblots. The examining nurse exhibits a recent successful boob job.
WCW PowerSlam wrestlers. I like the ECW ones better. More toys and accessories.
Judge Wapner's check cashing service. You get a lump sum, but a LOT less than you just paid your lawyers to get you. And Wapner gets his cut right off the top!
"Ice Sport" after-shave from Aqua Velva. Check out my recipe for a "Blue Floyd" cocktail in my "ECW on TNN" recap. It's even better if you freeze it.
We're back, and Scott Hudson announces the next match:
Match # 3: The Demon d. The Power Company.
Here's these two slab-sided guys come to impose themselves on you for the next little bit, as they snarl and fake back-hands to the fans at ringside.
Now here's The Demon, complete with Keep-Fresh packaging. Zybysko can't understand the words to the Demon's entrance music. Scott, a huge KISS fan, has to sing it for him. Hudson admits that only Tony Schiavone is a bigger KISS fan than he is. (Good grief!)
Handmade "Demon" poster in the crowd looks like it was done by Mrs. Fooster's third grade class.
One of the Power Company guys, let's call him "AC", blindsides the
Demon, and we're underway.
Demon recovers, and floors AC with a shoulder block. Whip across the ring, and the Demon charges in for the splat, but AC ducks out of the way, and the Demon eats a turnbuckle. AC with a boot too the throat.
Referee Charles Robinson doesn't like what he sees, and is lecturing AC. This gives AC's partner "DC" an opportunity to choke out the Demon while Robinson's back is turned. Looks like DC's using some blue tape from his wrist wrap.
AC's back, and charges in on the Demon. Demon reverses and whips AC into the ropes, where he's stopped by DC. AC's very appreciative of that.. As the two exchange pleasantries, the Demon hits a springboard double boot to the small of AC's back, which rams him into DC, who falls in a heap to the floor.
AC staggers back, and into the waiting arms of the Demon, who promptly applies a sleeper hold. The Demon converts the sleeper into his "Destroyer" finish move, and gets the pin. (1:47)
WCW will be in Winnipeg, Duluth, Minneapolis for Nitro, Fargo for Thunder, Bismarck, and coming soon to an arena near you!
That Wendy's rip on the "Sixties-Italian-Macho-film" is a hoot!
Hudson/Zybysko talking heads Segment #2:
Hudson shills the WCW hotline. LarryZ reminisces about being the Living Legend, and what the "armchair champions" mean to him.
A "One-Punch" Tank Abbott promo, complete with rock music, detailing Mr. Abbott's exploits in WCW and elsewhere. This sets up
Match # 4: Tank Abbott d. Villano IV
Well, this looks promising.
Abbott just charges right into Villano IV, backing him into a corner. There's a STIFF right to Villano IV's gut. An ugly looking snap-mare by Abbott sends Villano IV to the mat. Abbott picks up Villano IV and powerslams (read "drops") him onto the canvas. Villano IV staggers to his feet, and gets a STIFF "One-Punch" right in the jaw (0:25).
Abbott leaves the ring before the ref is finished counting. Villano IV is unconscious, and I mean for real.
An excited Scott Hudson announces that Tank Abbott will face Sid Vicious for the WCW World Heavyweight title on this Monday's Nitro.
Anybody want to guess who will win? Anybody even CARE?
WOW, another match with no bulk filler in between...
Match # 5: Barbarian d. Villano V
...unless the match ITSELF is bulk filler. Villano V clobbers the Barbarian as he's shucking off his coat. Referee Charles Robinson calls for the bell, and we're off and running.
Villano V is whaling away on the Barbarian, throwing lefts and rights. The Barbarian's had enough, and shoves Villano V away.
Villano V with a boot to the gut, and a headbutt.
Oops, that's a mistake, as the headbutt hurt Villano V more than the Barbarian.
Big double-leg cradle by the Barbarian "adjusts" Villano V's spine and butt, and even gets a 1 count, before Villano V kicks out.
Barbarian with two chops and a big forearm sends Villano V to the mat.
A whip to the ropes, but Villano V ducks the clothesline.
He ducks a back elbow, and hits a double drop kick, staggering the Barbarian.
There's another drop kick, but the barbarian still won't go down. Boot to the gut doubles the Barbarian over, FACE PLANT drives him to the mat. Villano covers, but only gets a two count, as the Barbarian powers out of the pin. Referee Charles Robinson just avoids getting squashed.
Villano V with a double sledge off the top rope staggers the Barbarian. A second try with the same move, but Villano V gets caught and (Good LORD!) suplexed by his head!
Barbarian loads up the right boot, "Kick of Fear" to the jaw, and it's lights out for Villlano V. (1:48)
Here's some more
That anti-smoking PSA's pretty good.
Sure as shootin' some sneaker goof is going to try putting hydrogen gas in basketball shoes. Or maybe helium; it won't blow your foot off if you land wrong.
Skytel Cellular from Motorola.
Anybody ever want to just clobber one of these inconsiderate "Borgs" who take their cellular calls everywhere, and at any time? Sheesh!
Back to the action, and we get ready for
Match # 6: Fidel Sierra d. "Bad" Barry Horowitz
Who booked this?
It looks like a fight between Fidel Sierra and his kid brother!
Both guys are heels, both are confirmed "mat-fodder", and both have careers only slightly better than being comatose and getting paid for it. The big question is, who jobs to who?
A sloooow match, offensive moves are mostly forearm and closed fist shots with lots of standing around in between. Sierra's getting winded, even with the rest breaks. Horowitz hits a monkey flip. Whip to the ropes gets reversed by Sierra, who counters with a boot to the gut, doubling over Horowitz. Showstopper finisher, and Sierra wins it. (4:36)
Afterwards, Sierra really needs to sit down, but he manages to wheeze out a challenge to whomever the WCW Television champ will be, and setting up a match for next Saturday.
Apparently, the US State Department has worked out a deal where we keep little Elian Gonzales, and Cuba gets the WCW Television title.
You know, it just might work.
Don't worry, there's always
High spots again.
"Nowhere to Land" flick promo. Sounds like my last flight back from Atlanta.
Goldberg! There's Goldberg! And he's eating SPREEEEEEE! And he LIKES it!
Big Red gum. It's not for just anyone. Especially HIPPIES!
Hilarious onHealth.com commercial where a fat guy tries some brain wave realignment with refrigerator magnets. Hey, bud, I got some maximum gauss rare earth Neodymium numbers that'll lobotomize you right through your fat head!
Match #7: Sonny Siaki and Chuck Palumbo d. Alan Funk and Rick Cornell
This is your Power Plant match for the evening, and Scott hudson wastes no time extolling the virtues of the WCW Power Plant grads.
Fast back and forth tag action. Palumbo is HUGE compared to the rest of these guys. Although his idol is Jimmy Snuka, Palumbo resembles Kerry von Erich in build and stature.
Funk tries to sneak in and gets a flying dropkick for his pains. Rick Cornell's clobbering Palumbo, and tags in Alan Funk. Funk whips Palumbo into the corner, but Palumbo hits a head scissors takedown. Cornell's showboating on the ring apron, and gets a Palumbo boot into the crowd. Palumbo tag to Siaki, who's offense gets shut off by a double team from Funk and Cornell. Siaki's getting clobbered in there, Missile launcher by Funk, who only gets two for the cover. Tag to Cornell who hits a missile drop kick. Cornell gets too confident, and Siaki hits a desperation powerbomb. Both Siaki and Cornell on the mat, going for the tag. Cornell tags first, and Funk moves in for the kill. Siaki just tags Palumbo in at the last second. Plaumbo's a house a-fire, Funk and Cornell get walloped, and now all four men are in the ring. Cornell and Funk toss Palumbo out of the ring, and then double-team the beat down on Sonny Siaki. Palumbo's back up, WAY back up. SNUKA SPLASH on Cornell, Palumbo hooks the far leg, as Siaki schoolboys Funk for the double pin-fall win (10:34)
Nitro is LIVE! this Monday night.
WCW Magazine promo
Hudson/Zybysko Talking Heads Segment 3:
Footage of the Luger/Hogan/Flair feud from Nitro and thunder. We are treated to a repeat of Luger and Hogan raging and snarling at each other. Jimmy Hart gets pearl harbored by Luger and Flair. That cage match between Hogan and Flair. Doug Dellinger gets his arm broken.
How about another match?
Match #8: Shark boy d. Jeremy Lopez
You know, I could become a serious mark for this Shark Boy guy. I'd have to have no shame at all to wear the mask like the Shark Boy cheering section at ringside, though.
Lopez almost busts out laughing at the "Shark Pool" at ringside. Hudson's having fun with all the "Jaws" references. The bell rings and we're underway.
Lopez gets first licks in with a suplex . Side headlock is released when Shark Boy decides to snack on Lopez. Whip by Shark Boy into the ropes comes up short when Lopez grabs onto the fin. Another side headlock, and again Shark Boy takes a bite. Lopez has had enough and bails out, almost running into the "Shark Pool" at ringside. Lopez ducks back into the ring, collar & elbow tie-up into a whip to the corner by Lopez. HUGE clothesline sends Shark Boy out of the ring, landing on the back of his head on the floor. Ouch!
Lopez with an attempted axehandle off the apron, but Shark Boy blocks it.
Both men back into the ring, where Lopez attempts a sloppy belly to back suplex, cover, but only a 2-count. Shark Boy recovers, and goes for the "Ten-Count Punch Down" with the crowd chanting along. Modified hurancanrana drives Lopez into the mat. Shark Boy back up top, and front suplexes Lopez.
Shark Boy with sets up a groggy Lopez for the inverted DDT finisher, but cleverly converts it to a variation of the Stone Cold Stunner (Hey, copyright violation!) for the win. (5:26) The "Shark Pool" celebrates.
1-800-CALL-ATT Road Report
David Arquette. Again. Why do I smile when he falls off the cliff?
Match # 9: Kidman (with Torrie Wilson) d. Elix Skipper
Hudson's almost drooling over Torrie, who does look good tonight.
LarryZ, speaking from experience, tells Hudson to avoid beautiful blondes; he'll find himself broke and facing a lawsuit or worse, otherwise. Then LarryZ starts in with the Skipper/Gilligan references.
Meanwhile, Kidman and Skipper are putting on one heck of an aerial show. Kidman with a springboard cross-body blockover the ropes onto Skipper. Skipper drop kicks Kidman off the apron to the floor, then tries a springboard cross-body block. Skipper rolls Kidman back into the ring. Double axe-handle off the top rope by Skipper, cover, but only a 2-count. Elix Skipper with a missile drop kick attempt that misses when Kidman ducks away at the last second. Kidman with a modified powerbomb, cover, but, again, only 2. Kidman is now in control, and wins the match with a wicked-looking snap hurancanrana off the top rope.(4:29)
Hudson/Zybysko Talking Heads Segment 4:
A repeat shill for the WCW Hotline. Hudson likes scoops. LarryZ even says that Hudson must really like scoops, and Hudson says that yes, he DOES like scoops. Anybody spot a pattern here? Who are they pitching their little spiel to, hmmmm?
Al Isaacs must be grinning from ear to ear right now.
Who says WCW doesn't pay attention to the 'Net?
Match #10: Brian Knobbs d. Dave Burkhead (Hardcore rules)
Aw, for cryin' out loud...
Okay, I will recap the hardcore match.
Burkhead looks like Butterbean's little brother.
Brian Knobbs comes out with the Dumpster o' fun. Looks like he knocked over the Home and Garden department at Wal-Mart. Trash cans, crutches, a cookie sheet, steel chair, snow shovel, a mop. Knobbs then dives into the ring, only to eat a stiff trash can lid shot from Burkhead.
Burkhead wallops Knobbs with the lid once more. Knobbs back up, and hits a STIFF chair shot on Burkhead.
Aack! Pit Stop!
Burkhead stuffed into a trash can.
Knobbs hits the trash can with the steel chair. Stunned, Burkhead can only roll out to the floor, but Knobbs grabs him and whips him into the steel guardrail. Knobbs and Burkhead back into the ring. Crutch shot to Burkhead's back, Knobbs to the top turnbuckle, with trash can in hand. TRASH SPLASH. (2:29)
Excuse me while I go wash up.
Here, enjoy these
WCW "Uncensored" PPV promo
Trumpet Awards promo
Pep Boys brakes are endorsed by Mr. Moose. Really.
Footage from last week where Hacksaw Jim Duggan finds the WCW Television title, his defeat of Robert Gibson of Rock'n'Roll Express fame, and the challenge issued by Lord Steven Regal: Title vs. Career.
Match # 11: Hacksaw Jim Duggan d. Lord Steven Regal for the WCW Television title.
Not surprisingly, both Duggan and Regal put on a pretty good match. Clotheslines and running lariats on Steven Regal gets the momentum going Duggan's way. Regal bails out, with Duggan right behind. Regal berates the fans at ringside, and turns around to eat a big, hammy, Duggan fist right in the kisser. Both men back inside, and it's Test of Strength time. Regal with a smooth side arm-bar on Duggan, who, nevertheless, manages to fight his way free. Regal with an eye gouge, and it's back into the arm-bar for Duggan. Duggan gets the crowd clapping for him, and powers up and out of the hold yet again. Duggan gets Regal in the corner, with punches in bunches, then up top for the "Ten-Count Punch Down" , and EVERYBODY's counting, even Hudson. "Old Glory" finisher, and Duggan wins (4:06)
Fidel Sierra's out to challenge Duggan in person, but scuttles away when the crowd gets ugly.
I really wanted to see Steven Regal win the belt. Any title is best won unfairly and then treacherously defended by a heel, and Regal would have been a superb choice.
Footage of the Sid/Jarrett feud.
Match # 12: The Mamalukes ( with manager Disco Inferno) d. PG-13 for the WCW Tag-team Championship Titles.
Charles Robinson calls for the bell, as LarryZ. calls PG-13 the 'Court Jester and Demetrius". (Wha..?)
PG-13 take it to Johnny the Bull, hitting a sloppy double-team neckbreaker. Johnny the Bull breaks loose, and tags in big Vito, who hits a big cross-body slam on JC Ice. Johnny the Bull tagged in, double-team axe handle to JC Ice. Vito with the neckbreaker. Whip to the ropes, Big Vito sets for the back body drop, but JC Ice turns it into a Sunset Flip, but no cover. Vito tags in Johnny the Bull, DOUBLE H-BOMB!
The Bull with a short slam, then tags Vito, and JC Ice gets to rest in a reverse chinlock.
JC Ice fights out and lands a DDT on Big Vito. Johnny the Bull's after him, but JC Ice scuttles around the ring, and finally through big vito's legs to reach his corner and tag in Wolfie D.
Wolfie D's a house afire on the Mamalukes, and JC Ice soon joins him for a Pier Six brawl.
Wolfie D drops Johnny the Bull with a top rope bulldog, cover, but only gets a 2-count, as Disco Inferno pulls Johnny the Bull out of the ring to stop the count.
All four men in the ring again, where JC Ice soon gets control of the groggy Johnny the Bull, and really wallops him with the hubcap. A pin attempt by Wolfie D only gets 2. Mamalukes out of the ring, only to eat a towering springboard plancha from JC Ice.
Vito returns to the ring, and out of nowhere, hits a boot to the gut, followed by a tornado DDT for the win (7:57)
Twelve matches with 51 minutes and 37 seconds of actual in-ring action.
Best match was, not surprisingly, the Power Plant Tag match, with the Kidman/Skipper, and Shark Boy/Jeremy Lopez matches both a close second.
For the worst, I'd say Dustin Rhodes/Bobby Eaton, in their bizarre revival of "Night of the Living Dead". Tank Abbott's squash of Villano V shouldn't have even been booked.
But hey, at least Hacksaw Jim Duggan's still "Mr. Saturday Night!"
See you next week.
Mail the Author