/18 March 2000
|WCW Saturday Night by E.C. Ostermeyer
Twenty Six Hours To "Uncensored!"
This is the "WCW Saturday Night" recap for Saturday, 19 March 2000. I'm your recapper, E.C. Ostermeyer.
WCW "Uncensored" is only One...Day...Away!! , and we've got late-breaking news for all you fans out there, direct from the most trusted on-air personalities in sports entertainment today, Scott "Who cares about your kids' college fund, buy the PPV" Hudson, and wrestling's Living Legend, the "Fairway Warrior" himself, Larry Zybysko.
While Hudson shills how great "Uncensored" will be, we go to our first match:
Match #1: Lane & Rave d. Disorderly Conduct
Zybysko says that Jeff Jarrett has to have a plan up his sleeve as regards Sid Vicious, and it involves the Harris Brothers. Lane is in with Tough Tom, who dominates the early part of the match with a neat drop toe hold, then isolating Lane in the Wrong Part Of Town where both Tough Tom and Mean Mike use Lane as a "ping-pong ball", according to LarryZ. Lane's had enough of ping-pong, and bails out of the ring. Tough Tom uses the opportunity to work the crowd, looking for some cheap heel heat. Lane tags Rave, Tough Tom tags Mean Mike, and the match continues, as Scott Hudson talks up the "Yapapai Strap Match" between Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair. "Finally, we will know who the real star, the real icon of pro wrestling is, " says Scott Hudson. Rave gets squashed in the corner by a do-si-do Irish Whip from Disorderly Conduct. Tough Tom with a Mush-buster, then a Big Right Hand to the nose, and down goes Rave. No cover, though, as Tough Tom tries another Irish Whip on Rave, gets it reversed, and then Tough Tom plays ping-pong with Lane and Rave. Snap suplex from Rave puts Tough Tom on the canvas. Very good double-team action by Rave and lane, before Lane bundles Tough Tom up in an inside cradle, 1,2, no!
Hudson and LarryZ continue to shill "Uncensored", this time they're talking about Jimmy Hart getting squashed by Team Package. LarryZ says that all the members of the "cast" will be around the ring when Team Package and Sting arrive at "Uncensored". Tough Tom powers out of a Lane "pancake," and shoves Lane into the Wrong Part Of Town again. Mean Mike with the beat down on Lane while referee Charles Robinson is distracted by Rave trying to help his partner. Robinson over to break up the double team on Lane, and Rave's tagged back in, where he goes to work on Tough Tom. Both Rave and lane do some creative double-teaming again, before Lane hits the legdrop and lateral press for the near pin, but Mean Mike interferes to break it up. Tough Tom dragged to Rave and lane's corner, where he almost gets squashed by a sloppy Senton bomb from Rave. Now it's a race to see who tags first, and the winner is Rave, followed by Tough Tom a couple of seconds later. This looks like trouble for Lane and Rave, as Mean Mike is going at it like a house afire, just distributing beat-downs all around. Tough Tom's back in, and, along with Mean Mike, they nail Rave to the canvas with a "double uranage suplex!" (Hudson). An attempt by Disorderly Conduct to pull the same thing on Lane gets stymied when Rave trips up Tough Tom, and Lane plants Mean Mike face first into the canvas for the win (5:56).
Hey, it's Jimmy Hart, one of the best "stick-men" in the industry. He's got some advice for Team Package: buy lots of hospitalization insurance. Hart is out for (waves casted right arm) payback on Luger. And especially Ric Flair.
"Hogan has promised me that he's gonna shoot you out of the ring right by my feet, Ric Flair, and (shows blisters on chest. Ouch!) if you think these blisters hurt me, imagine what I'm gonna do to you!"
(Waves BIG, heavy weight belt around menacingly.)
Get your Jeff Jarrett "Slapnuts" T-shirt for twenny buckz.
TBS "Shawshank Redemption". Castrol GTX . Wendy's . "Beyond the Mat". Butterfinger. Radio Shack. Hydro-Thunder video game. "Truth" anti-smoking PSA.
Hudson/Zybysko puppet show, chapter 1:
Larry and Scott shill for the "Uncensored" PPV. Larry sticks pins in Jeff Jarrett's ego. The word "Yapapai" is uttered, as is "lumberjack" , "cast", and "Total Package" (okay, that's two words, I know!).
Match #2: Fidel Sierra d. Alan Funk
Fidel's getting a sorta heel push, and Alan Funk is fresh off his crushing defeat of Bad Barry Horowitz last week. Can it be that there's a tiny angle a-building here?
Before the match, LarryZ reviews Fidel's plan to take the WCW TV title back to Cuba, and the Zybysko Plan to swap the title for little Elian Gonzales. Hudson says don't go there, we got letters for days about that. LarryZ also keeps calling Alan Funk "Mr. Funt", despite Scott's repeated attempts to correct the mistake.
From the get-go, Fidel's got the upper hand, literally, as he just chops up a face-cord of firewood out of Alan Funk.
Hudson shills the Rhodes/Funk "Chicken Carcass" match at "Uncensored."
Suplex by Sierra, lateral press, 2-count. Let's do that again, shall we?
Funk blocks a Sierra punch then double drop-kicks him right out of the ring. Fidel crawls back in the ring, where Funk just goes to town on him. Big back body drop by Funk, sloppily hooks the far leg, 1,2, no.
Now Barry Horowitz is out, and is jawing with Alan Funk. While Funk and the referee are distracted, Fidel Sierra waffles Funk with the Cuban flag. Sierra with a lateral press, 1,2,3! (4:02).
Hey, this is a by God "Continuing Angle" among the mid-carders! I've never seen one of these before!
"The Skulls". Steve Baldwin for M&M's.
Hey, what's it like inside that mouth of yours? Aaaagh! Scary!
Knicks/Pacers and Pistons/Sonics. Tuesday! The NBA on TNT.
Sure beats Rockin' Bowl.
WCW Action Figures.
Sauder Furniture's got computer furniture.
Match #3: Psychosis (with Juventud Guerrera Jr.) d. Shark Boy
All right! Our first contender for best match of the show. The "Shark School" cheering section is back as well; let's see if they make a grab for Psychosis like they did Norman Smiley. LarryZ says Shark Boy's full of "mega bites," a horrible pun that Hudson falls for. "Boy are you slow!" says LarryZ, what a card!
Juventud is sporting Miss Hancock's spectacles, and looking very wise and knowledgeable. He still needs a wash 'n' set, though.
The eternal question: "Does Psychosis look better with or without the mask?"
LarryZ: "Shark Boy is gonna have a hard enough time turning Psychosis into chum!"
ZZZZoooommm! "UncensoredDaysuntil1" logo shoots in and out of my picture tube.
Lots of cross-ring action between Psychosis and Shark Boy, but Shark Boy telegraphs a monkey flip, and gets a guillotine leg drop from the master himself. Sit-out senton LarryZ says that Shark Boy got his fin by cloning Flair's nose and painting it blue.
Double reverse on an Irish whip sends Shark Boy to the ring apron, where he nails Psychosis with two unanswered punches to the head. Shark Boy up top, and hits a flying head-scissors takedown on Psychosis. As Juventud airs his ego for a bit, Shark Boy decides to gnaw on Psychosis' "butticus mexicanus" that Psychosis sells like crazy. Clothesline by Shark Boy sends Psychosis over the top rope. Shark Boy follows with a flying cross-body press that nails Psychosis to the floor mats at ringside.
Juvi comes around the ring, but Shark Boy's ready for him, then rolls Psychosis back into the ring. Psychosis eats a turnbuckle. Shark Boy tries a whip, but gets reversed into the corner, and Psychosis just NAILS him with a stiff clothesline that lifts Shark Doy off his feet and drives him to the mat.
Juvi's hollering at Psychosis to finish his opponent. A whip to the corner, but the flying senton by Psychosis lands him on turnbuckle instead of Shark Boy, and Psychosis is in trouble. Shark Boy with a Big Right Hand, then up top for the "Ten-Count punch down" with the crowd calling the shots to Psychosis' head. Shark boy gets to nine, then decides to have lunch on Psychosis' forehead, with the luchador just selling the hell out of the move.
While ref Charles Robinson checks Psychosis for missing eyebrows, Juvy's up on the ring apron, but Shark Boy levels him with a stiff clothesline. Head scissors takeover (wha...? Hudson's gotta be making up his own names for these holds!) The follow-up goes nowhere, as Shark Boy gets clobbered from behind by Juventud Guerrera, Jr. Then, he gets nailed by a front suplex from Psychosis. Psychosis up top, line drive guillotine leg drop. Cross body press, hooks the far leg, one, two, three! Your winner: Psychosis (5:12).
Paisley's turning on the charm (and a whole lot more!) asking ol' TAFKAPI to tag her in (during the match!) so she can rip that bleached blond hair out of Torrie's head. TAFKAPI looks slightly buzzed.
"Uncensored" PPV shill.
WCW arena schedule:
19 Mar Miami FL (Uncensored PPV)
20 Mar Gainesville, FL (Nitro)
21 Mar Orlando, FL (Thunder)
25 Mar Abilene, TX
26 Mar Waco, TX
"Whatever it Takes" promo.
Wolverine boots and shoes.
"Extra" sugar-free gum.
Steven Baldwin gets acting lessons from a blob of fat and sugar.
Pokemon figures and cards are still available from Burger King. Minus those death-dealing red-and-white container balls, of course.
Manny, Moe and Jack: the Pep Boys!
Hudson and Zybysko: (Two names you can trust!), segment 2:
The Sid Vicious/JeffJarrett feud is expounded upon. LarryZ again warns Sid that Jarrett may have something "Special" planned for him.
And it almost certainly involves the Harris Boys. We see footage of the events leading up to the WCW World Title match at "Uncensored".
Match #4: Hugh Morrus d. Rick Cornell
Morrus has been hitting the gym, because he looks, if possible, even more compact and dangerous. Morrus takes command early with a beat-down of Rick Cornell. Whip to the ropes, and Morrus flattens Cornell with a running clothesline. Morrus with an attempt at a body drop but Cornell wiggles free, and we are treated to some old-fashioned catch-as-can chain wrestling just like Killer Kowalski used to do. Leg sweep from Cornell takes Morrus to the mat, lateral press, 1, Morrus powers out with authority.
Cornell with a "Japanese arm-drag takedown" (Doggone it! Has Hudson been taking moves lessons from Tony Schiavone?) that looks suspiciously like a good old arm-bar to me.Cornell stomping away at Morrus. Cornell with punches in bunches to Morrus' head and gut. Irish Whip to the far corner, but Morrus comes out with a stiff clothesline that flattens Cornell. Power slam and a "Bionic Elbow" from Hugh Morrus. There's another elbow, and a Big Leg Drop. Hudson says the fans at ringside are not as supportive of Morrus tonight as before. Lateral press, 1,2, Cornell gets the shoulder up. Morrus with the reverse chinlock on Cornell. They lay around on the mat while Cornell gets his wind back, then Morrus gets to his feet, still applying the chinlock. Cornell tries a couple of elbows to Morrus' gut, which breaks the hold. Cornell tries a rebound on Morrus, but Morrus counters with a boot to Cornell's breadbasket, and down he goes. The ref's chewing out Morrus for something, but Morrus pantomimes that he used his knee instead of his boot toe. Both men back up, and Cornell quickly hits a belly-to-belly suplex on Morrus that tosses him all the way across the ring. (Hudson calls it a "front butterfly overhead suplex". Impressive, no?) Whip by Cornell gets reversed, and Morrus nails Cornell with a powerbomb, followed by his "No Laughing Matter" moonsault thingie for the win (3:01). Two pros in an evenly-matched contest. Cornell's looking better every time he gets in the ring, as is Morrus.
The "Yapapai Strap Match" is shilled for "Uncensored!"
Here's WCW World Television Champion Hacksaw Jim Duggan
with two by four, "Old Glory", sweat-stained Carharrt coveralls, and the TV title belt. Somebody get him a shopping cart.
Duggan has the house rockin' "USA! USA! USA!"
He's got the microphone!
This ought to be good...
"Thank you, thank you folks, thank you so much.
(tosses 2x4 away.)
"You know, when Hacksaw first came out, and they dressed me in this janitor's suit, everybody had a big belly laugh. But then ol' hacksaw was cleaning up the basement of the WCW, and found the WCW TV Title!
"Everybody had a big belly laugh, because they said, 'Hacksaw, that's the only way you'll ever get a title. But I beat everybody! I beat all comers! I beat the "rock and roll" guy, I beat the English guy, I beat the Cuban guy, because this is America, the Land of the Free, and the Home of the Bra..."
Fidel Sierra waffles Duggan from behind with the Cuban flag. Sierra starts pounding away at ol' Hacksaw, and after he gets to his feet, Duggan starts in on Sierra. There's a referee out to break it up, but no dice, Now the Villanos, Elix Skipper, Sonny Siaki, and Chuck Coates are out to break up the fight. Whoops, Duggan's got the 2x4, and everybody runs for cover.
Duggan's got the mic. Again:
"Awright CUBAN! If you wanna WAR, dis ain't no Bay a pigs, baby. We'll put our flags up! If you beat me, I won't carry our flag. But if I beat youuuu, the Cuban flag is mine, to do whatever I want with!" HOOOOOO!"
"USA! USA! USA!"
Same old same old.
"Uncensored" PPV promo
Footage of the "Los Fabulosos" angle startup. Miss Hancock says "Let's go shopping!" to El Dandy & Silver King.
Oh yes, ma'am! Lemme git mah Visa card....
Match #5: Los Fabulosos d. the Villanos
Finally, a pure lucha libre spectacular!
Hey, we got a new ring announcer, Keith Butler by name.
The Villanos have apparently been out shopping, because they're sporting some new duds as well. "Los Fabulosos" are out, but with no new duds as of yet. El Dandy and Silver King have a little confab with Keith Butler, who announces them as "Latin Americas' most desirable men: "Los Fabulosos!"
Charles Robinson, unimpressed, calls for the bell, and nearly gets run over by the Villanos charging at their opponents. All four men in the ring, with a double-beat-down occurring in opposite corners.
Double Irish Whip by the Villanos, and "Los Fabulosos" meet under less than happy circumstances in the center of the ring. Villano IV pinions El Dandy for the Villano V punch in the face. A second punch is ducked and Villano IV eats the punch. Villano V with a kick to El Dandy's gut then tries a whip to the ropes. El Dandy counters with a bulldog that plants Villano V on the canvas. El Dandy spots Villano IV coming in for the save, but his charge-in eats a clothesline from Villano IV. Villano V rolls outside the ring. Silver King with a bulldog on Villano IV, who wisely bails out as well. Silver King with a running leap through the ropes, that he shortstops with a rope swing-through when he sees both Villanos waiting for him. As the Villanos recover, El Dandy uses Silver King to hit a sloppy pescado on Villano V. As Villano IV moves in for the kill on El Dandy, he's plancha-ed by Silver King off the top turnbuckle.
Silver King throws Villano IV back in the ring, there's a whip to the ropes, but Villano IV holds on and Silver King's double drop-kick finds nothing but air. As he gets to his feet, Silver King runs into a spinning backbreaker by Villano IV. Tag to Villano V, and the two of them double-team Silver King. Double-team Irish Whip to the ropes, Villano IV drops to the mat as Silver king runs over him, and gets a Villano V body drop that garrotes him on the top rope. Leg drop from Villano IV and a cover, but El Dandy's there to break it up. Villano V knocks El Dandy to the floor, where Villano IV whips El Dandy into the steel guardrail. Both Vilanos back in the ring, where Villano IV hits a spinning backbreaker on Silver King, then hold him in position for Villano V to deliver a drop double-axe handle from the top turnbuckle.
Villano IV on top, lateral press, but only gets two.
Silver King gets draped over the lower rope, with Villano IV bronco-riding on his back, and Villano V hits the guillotine leg drop from the apron that just snaps Silver King's head back. Two boots from Villano V, followed by a leg drop on Silver King before applying the arm-bar submission hold. Silver King won't submit.
Villano V with a suplex set-up, but Silver King rolls out of it and yanks Villano V to the mat by the back of his mask. Tag to El Dandy, as Villano IV comes rushing in to save his partner, and DDt's Silver King. Silver king rolls to the outside, as El Dandy eats a slap to the check, then, in succession, a double-team gutbuster, and a double-team double dropkick from the Villanos. El Dandy slowly gets to his feet, just in time to eat a standing side kick from Villano V. Villano V tags Villano IV, then sets up El Dandy for a Villano IV point after attempt. Snap-mare takeover by Villano IV on El Dandy, then a reverse chinlock. El Dandy draped over the top rope, and gets a boot to the head by Villano V from the ring apron. El Dnay crawling back to make the tag, but Villano IV stops him juuust short of Silver King's outstretched fingers, then clobbers Silver King for good measure. Tag to Villano V, who tees off on El Dandy with two unanswered right hands that drop El Dandy to the canvas. There's a half-Crab on El Dandy by Villano V. Hold's broken by Villano V, who whips El Dandy across the ring. The charge in gets a BIG slap in the face from El Dandy, who then delivers the same to Villano IV. El Dandy tags Silver King who goes up top and hits a big double drop kick on both Villanos. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to Villano V, and a stiff standing sidekick to Villano IV. Tag to El Dandy, and some quick cross-ring action that ends in a double-drop toe-hold by "Los Fabulosos" on Villano IV. Double-team front'n'back mule kick on Villano IV, and a lateral press from El Dandy, cover, 1,2, Villano V nails both El Dandy and Villano IV with a running senton. Chop from El Dandy takes Villano V out of the ring, with El Dandy following. Silver King's back in the ring, and misses with a second rope moonsault on Villano IV. Villano IV with a standing body slam, then goes up top for the tope, but gets nothing but canvas as Silver King rolls out of the way. Silver King hooks the leg, and gets the win (6:04). As superb a match as four pros trying hard could make it.
Sign in the crowd: "Lucha Libre RULZ!"
I couldn't agree more, my friend.
Match #6: The Barbarian d. Adrian Byrd
The Barbarian and Adrian Byrd of the WCW Power Plant in a good, old-fashioned slugfest. No fancy moves, minimal aerial stuff, just toe-to-toe with lefts and rights. Oh, and some kicks too.
Aw, jeez, it's Buzzkill. Let's see what the sign reads this week:
"I...Need... A...something...oh, yeah... Miracle!"
Boy, do you EVER, my friend!
Barbarian with a powerslam on Adrian Byrd. There's an arm-wringer, foillowed by several kicks in the gut. Big Barbarian elbow to the back of the head. Whip to the ropes, and Byrd gets hammered in the face with a Big Right Hand. Lateral press, 1,2, Byrd gets a shoulder up.
Sidewalk slam from the barbarian, but an elbow drop misses as Byrd rolls out of danger.
Scoop-slam by Byrd on the Barbarian, but Byrd's holding his back like the load was too much.
Byrd's had enough, and goes to the top turnbuckle. Giant splash...gets caught in mid-air by the Barbarian, who counters with a belly-to-belly suplex that drives Byrd into the canvas. Barbarian up, loading the boot, KICK OF FEAR!
Single hand cover, 1,2,3 (2:49).
Sid Vicious and Sting both have new videos out.
As do the Nitro Girls.
Which would you choose?
"Kukla and Ollie", segment 3:
(there, Mike, how's that for your "Vague Reference", hah?)
The Wall's progress through the WCW roster is best described by LarryZ, as
"a tornado through a mobile home park!"
Crowbar and David Flair seem to be occupying Lot #1 of that trailer park, as we see footage from "Thunder" where the Wall has splattered Crowbar on the hallway floor, and, with Daffney shrieking in the background, almost choke-slams David Flair off the balcony. Bam Bam Bigelow is there to break it up, which sets up the Uncensored match between the Wall and BBB.
WCW Road Report. Jimmy Barron shills for "Uncensored".
Commercials. Nothing new here. Move along, please.
Chip 'n' Dale (no, not the Disney ones!) shill for the WCW Hotline. Kids, get your parents' permission and stack o' credits cards, because have we got a lot to tell you! Several time over, in fact! Hey, LarryZ almost blows the scoop on Mean Gene Okerlund's lil' run-in with the po-lice.
Match #7: Mona d. Dee Dee Venturi (WCW Women's Division)
Dee Dee Venturi comes to the ring, clad in a black leather jacket and wrestling togs. Dee Dee apparently thinks everybody, including Mr. Cameraman, sucks, and tells them so. Mona's out, and does her dis-robing routine.
Collar and elbow tie-up and a drop toe hold from Mona. Single-leg cradle gets a one count before Dee Dee powers out. Both ladies square off, and it's Venturi with a kick to Mona's breadbasket. Dee Dee raining forearms on Mona's back. Snap-mare by Venturi, then hangs Mona out to dry on the middle rope, leaning a knee into the back of Mona's neck. LarryZ calls Dee Dee a "nasty little thing" as Venturi sits on the top turnbuckle and garrotes Mona twice, before face-planting her on the canvas. Whip by Venturi gets countered as Mona spins through the body slam, then hits a head scissors takedown on Dee Dee. Mona's all over Dee Dee with chops ("Whoooo!") and kicks. Hey. Little Jeannie's out and jumps Mona from behind (DQ 1:29) and Dee Dee helps in the double-team beatdown. There's the Klown Kar o' Refs to restore order.
Mona's got the stick:
"Which one of you's afraid? Dee Dee, are you afraid? Jeannie, are you afraid? You're both afraid! You can't come in here one-on-one, you got to double-team me? Well, I got a little surprise for you! Next week, you're gonna wish you never EVER, set foot in a wrestling ring!"
Dee Dee and Lil' Jeannie do the "yah yah !" as they leave the arena.
Footage of the Funk/Dustin Rhodes feud.
Poultry used as a weapon.
Turn your head if you're squeamish!
Kidman's pleading with Torrie to PLEASE take care of Paisley. Torrie says "no problemo", or words to that effect. Smoochy time!
Commercials. Didn't we just see these a little while ago?
Match # 8: Shannon Moore & Evan Karagias d. Elix Skipper, Chuck Coates & Sonny Siaki.
A Power Plant match, or nearly so!
"Three Count" is now "Two Count" because Shane Helms broke his nose on Nitro. What we've got here is a handicap match, and Chuck Coates opens up on Shannon Moore with punches and a spinebuster. Elix Skipper tags in, hits another spinebuster on Moore, lateral press, 1,2,Moore kicks out. Arm bar by Skipper, followed by that "bottle opener" knee-on-neck takedown. Lateral press again, 1,2,no.
Skipper with the armbar, back body drop still holding the armbar. lateral press again, but only one this time.
Crowd: "Three Count Sucks! Three Count Sucks!"
Skipper whips Moore into the corner, but eats boot leather on the run-in.
Moore with a spinning heel kick. Moore with a forearm to Elix's jaw, then a tag to Evan Karagias.
Karagias up top, front suplex with an assist from Moore drive Skipper face first into the canvas.
Karagias stands Skipper up, hits two knife edge chops ("Whooo!") and a scoop slam out of the opposite corner. Siaki in with a boot to drive Karagias away. Shannon Moore in while the ref's occupied with Siaki, and hits a neat pescado off the ropes with an assist from Karagias. Moore with a lateral press, 1,2, Skipper gets a shoulder up.
Moore tags Karagias, Evan goes up top again, as Moore Sets Skipper up for a side Russian leg-sweep, with a Karagias' double drop kick to the chest as the booster.
Karagias putting the boot to Skipper, tags Moore, then gorilla slams Elix Skipper.
Moore with the springboard body drop over the top rope onto Skipper. Whip to the ropes by Moore gets reversed and Skipper hits a BIG face plant that stuns Moore.
Skipper tags in Chuck Coates, who goes right after Karagias, then nails Moore with a tilt-a-whirl back-breaker, cover,1,2, Karagias kicks Coates off Moore.
Sonny Siaki sneaks in to get some of Karagias, but Evan back-body- drops Siaki over the top rope to the floor. Skipper's back in to tackle Karagias.
Coates and Moore do a do-si-do at center ring.
Karagias and Skipper are trading punches in the corner.
Moore submarines under Coates, then wraps a sleeper hold on him. Neck-breaker out of the sleeper by Moore on Coates, far leg hooked, and a pin (5:12)
Sheesh, another good match! Who'd a thunk it?
Ah, baseball season is only a short time away.
Hudson/Zybysko Puppet Show - Segment 4:
Footage of the Total Package/Sting feud.
Match #9: Hail (with Jimmy Hart) d. Mike Jones
Ah, Mike Jones.
Good ol' Vincent/Virgil/Curly Bill/Shane.
Jones says he's gonna beat on Jimmy Hart like he did back in Memphis, (boy, does THAT take me back!) and he even brought a belt along for the beating.
Unfortunately for Mr. Jones, Jimmy Hart brought along 6'7" 350 lbs "Hail" instead of a belt.
Ever see "Jurassic Park?"
Where they drop the cow into the Veloci-raptor pit?
Remember the look on the cow's face?
Mike Jones has the same look.
Clothesline, stuff piledriver, 'nuff said! (0:19)
And while the EMT's and Charles Robinson put Mike on the gurney, and Mike's got visions of IV tubes, catheters, and hospital food dancing in his head, we get our final dose of tonight's
Current matches scheduled for "Uncensored" are previewed.
Match #10: Billy Kidman & Torrie Wilson d. TAFKAPI & Paisley (Mixed Tag-team match.)
Paisley looks particularly fetching, but I don't think she's gonna be doing any wrestling in THAT outfit.
Yow! And neither does Torrie Wilson, who comes out in a sprayed-on back-less gold outfit.
Hudson is having speech problems due to excessive drooling.
LarryZ is making sounds like a percolator.
TAFKAPI, (or "Ikey" as I like to call him) pauses, then licks a thumb and runs it down Kidman's face. Kidman don't play that, and kicks Ikey in the gut, followed by two clouts to the head. Ikey with a thumb in Kidman's eye. Ikey with an elbow to the back of Kidman's neck. There's a whip to the ropes, but Kidman reverses and, oops, telegraphs the back body drop, which Ikey counters with a boot to the gut, doubling Kidman over.
Ikey sees to his coif, then tries a running elbow at Kidman, who steps aside and clotheslines him.
Kidman shoves Ikey into the corner, goes up top, and does the "Ten-Count Punch down" really fast, with the crowd having trouble calling the blows.
Ikey crawls over to Paisley and...is that a TAG?!
Yup, and Paisley's in, and making goo-goo eyes at Kidman. The crowd's hollering for Kidman to make the tag, which he does, and Torrie's in the ring.
Hudson: "A catfight's gonna break out at the Superstation!"
No it's not, as Paisley tags Ikey back in.
Torrie's not leaving the ring, despite being told to do so by the referee. Kidman's hollering at her to get out of there.
Ikey doesn't mind, he'll clothesline just about anybody tonight, though his attempt on Torrie gets ducked, and Kidman pastes him one from the ring apron.
Ikey staggers back, turns, and gets the taste slapped out of his mouth by Torrie.
Kidman with a boot to the gut, then a big back-body-drop on Ikey. Kidman's just bouncing Ikey off any inanimate object he can find, ropes, turnbuckles, the mat, then finally whips Ikey into the near corner turnbuckle so hard, Ikey bounced back almost to the center of the ring.
Kidman with a boot to the gut, and an Irish Whip. Reversal by Ikey sends Kidman back into the ropes, where he gets a smack on the back of the head by Paisley. Kidman turns to confront Paisley, and gets sucker-punched by Ikey out to the floor.
As Ikey and the ref are arguing, Paisley's doing some damage to Kidman out on the floor. There's a boot to the gut, and a bounce off the steel guardrail. Kidman's just selling the hell out of Paisley's moves.
Ikey's out on the floor, but gets distracted by some very vocal fans at ringside. There's a European forearm uppercut by Ikey, and then he whips Kidman into the steel guardrail.
Ikey's bouncing Kidman's head off the steel steps.
Both men back in the ring, back body drop by Ikey, lateral press but only gets a 2-count.
Ikey grabs Kidman's hair and grinds his knee into the back of Kidman's neck.
Torrie Wilson looks on, very worried as Ikey hits a fall-away Samoan Drop on Kidman.
Ikey tags in Paisley, who starts kicking and stomping on Kidman. Torrie tries to get in the ring, but Ikey's between her and the beat-down Paisley's giving Kidman.
Kidman takes all he can, but a slap to the face is too much, and he grabs Paisley's hand.
Kidman's about to smite Paisley, but Ikey intervenes, and drags Kidman into the corner for a beat-down of his own.
Torrie's had enough, and bolts past the referee to get her hooks into Paisley. There's a lot of swatting and spitting, but the referee is able to separate them.
And misses Ikey pinning Kidman in the far corner.
Ikey's back up to see what's going on, and gets shoved into a Sunset Flip pin attempt by Kidman. Both men back up, and Ikey hits a running lariat on Kidman. Ikey's jawing with Paisley, then turns back to Kidman, just in time to get three quick punches to the face.
A Kidman charge runs afoul of a drop toehold by Ikey, and Kidman eats a whole lot of Paisley's boot in the corner.
Whip by Ikey sends Kidman into the corner. Another whip gets reversed, and Ikey's in the corner now. Kidman charges in and eats a boot, knocking him to the canvas.
Ikey up top, but a sit-out Senton bomb meets Kidman's knee on the way down, and Ikey's got a free adjustment to his "in-seam." Paisley's holding her mouth in anguish.
Torrie nails a writhing Ikey from the ring apron, and Kidman hooks the far leg. One, two, Ikey kicks out.
Torrie's on the floor, stalking Paisley, despite the ref's insistence that she return to her corner.
Short powerbomb by Kidman on Ikey, but the ref's still distracted. Kidman with a snap hurancanrana on Ikey, cover, but nobody's there to count.
Hey, what's Psychosis and Juventud Guerrera, Jr. doing at ringside?
Oh yeah, Psychosis is after Ikey's Cruiserweight title.
The ref's still trying to separate Torrie and Paisley out on the floor on the far side.
Kidman's on the top turnbuckle on the far side directing traffic, and has his back to the action.
Psychosis goes up top, and it's a
GUILLOTINE LEG DROP on Ikey!
Juventud comes around to help the ref, as Kidman sees Ikey splattered in the center of the ring.
There's a cover by Kidman, and the ref zips back into the ring for the three count and the win (7:43).
Kidman spots Juvy on the apron, divines his true purpose for being there, and angrily runs him off.
As Torrie and Kidman leave the ring, Paisley's on the apron shouting abuse at them both. Torrie takes umbrage at some of the comments, and climbs back in the ring.
Hudson: "Torrie's back in the ring!"
LarryZ: "Let 'em GO!"
Hudson: "Wait a minute, referee Billy Silverman backs out from between the to ladies, HE'S GONNA LET 'EM GO!"
In the absence of Mr. Joey Styles, allow me:
"Catfight! Catfight! CAT-FIIIIGHT!"
And we fade to another "Uncensored" PPV promo, and then to the closing credits.
Nothing to complain about this week.
Nine out of ten matches with some outstanding action. Even the Sierra/Funk match advanced a new angle into the Saturday Night line-up.
Best match: A tough choice, but I give it to "Los Fabulosos" and the Villanos, with "Two Count"/The Power Plant grads and Psychosis/Shark Boy tied for runner-up.
The rest of the show was just outstanding, with proper selling of the "Uncensored" PPV, and several new angles being developed. My congratulations, WCW.
As before, I don't do time totals on a show this good.
And any of you smarts out there that have been running WCW down, lately, might want to tune in, and see what you're missing.
I'll save y'all a seat.
See you next week.
Mail the Author