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/9 March 2000

WWF SmackDown!




MAD PROPS: Chris Schneider deserves many, many thanks from me - but all he gets is this lousy mention at the top of the SmackDown! report

ABSOLUTE LAMEST THING I'VE READ ALL WEEK: Bob [Ryder] has done sooooo much for wrestling and the Internet. Actually, Bob was the man who made the Internet/wrestling connection. - 1wrestling's Scrap Dog

KINGS UPDATE: 35-25, fifth place and 15 GB

You're watching UPN!

One World Leader Attitude - WWF! TV-PG-DLV!

"TENSION MOUNTS" says the highlight reel as we see clips from last week's show - "POWER STRUGGLE ERUPTS" brings us to RAW - "KANE - BIG SHOW" continues with RAW - "TRIPLE H - RIKISHI" is next up, and both see more of the Rock than the people mentioned - "PAYBACK" leads us to the Rock/Benoit cage match and its aftermatch - what all the REALLY is, is three minutes of stuff I recapped in earlier reports so I can laze through it...

Opening credits include a close captioned logo and no Benoit

It's pyro time, it's "en espanol donde sea disponible" time - it's crowd pan time - we are ON TAPE from the Fleet Center in Boston, MA 9.3.2K (taped 7.3) and tonight it's...well, I forget the name, but it is.

TREBLE H & STEPHANIE ONO come out to "My Time" to start us off. And more and more, I'm starting to notice that Stephanie REALLY has know, ACTING. "Can I have your attention please?" "No Chance in Hell" starts instead and WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW & SKIPPY come out to meet them. "I know what you all want me to want me to - walk over to my sister and get a little payback at what she did to me last Monday night on RAW. I know that you all want me to, uh...slap her right across the face." Stephanie completely fails to look scared, despite her best efforts - geez, how embarrassing for her. "But! Seeing as that's what you all want me to do, I'm not gonna do that!" Crowd goes "Oh yeah - they're HEELS" and boos. H's turn: "And I know what all of you want ME to do - I know what you want to see...they wanna see me and you - they wanna see me and you rip each other apart." He stands toe to toe with the Show. "But they're not gonna get to see it - they're gonna have to wait until WrestleMania." Show: "But, let me tell you what IS gonna happen tonight!" Crowd: "Rock E!" This chant is apparently so loud and long that they have to edit it down...or overdub it. "Now that that boring chant's over know, talking to Shane O. Mac, *Kane*, I should have chokeslammed you to HELL last Monday night. But I'm gonna tell you what is gonna happen tonight - YOU, my friend, are gonna be in a handicap match, Kane - against X-Pac...and the Road Dogg." Did Show just book a match? Shane says HE'S been inspired to book another handicap match - after talking for a bit too long about his ass, Shane says that tonight Rikishi Phatu will take on Triple H and the Big Show. H says that he's got a handicap match of his own - Chris Benoit & Perry Saturn will take on the Rock. Stephanie gets the mic one more time and says that she can't act - no, she says to Rock that "after Benoit & Saturn finish getting Radical on you, then I'm gonna have a personal surprise - call it a figurative slap in the face...from me (Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley)." Everybody shakes hands - guess they're friends least until the main event, I reckon.

Let Us Take You Back to Earlier Today where the Mean Street Posse promised a dinner to Teddy Long to accompany them to an area laundromat - you can tell that Crash Holly is doing his laundry because it's the same evening gown he had in the motel. Holly flings some Tide in Rodney's eyes and breaks a broom over his back (what's a broom doing there?) but still, Rodney manages to get him down for the pin - only to once again be denied when Joey Abs and Pete "Gas" take turns breaking it up. The Cheer goes flying! Holly manages to abscond with his gown and the Hardcore title, leaving the Posse to fight amongst themselves. Pete pours some liquid Tide on Rodney to cleanse our palates.

Rock is WALKING! You telling me he's in the opening match?

Exterior of Boston - apparently the state name is too long to fight in the box in the upper left corner...

LA ROCA v. CHRIS BENOIT & PERRY SATURN in a handicap match - well, golly, Rock's out to jerk the curtain! Wait - I mean I AM OUTRAGED THAT BENOIT IS BEING WASTED BY THE WWF BY OPENING THE SHOW - whew, hopefully I get to keep my "smark" membership card now. Let's listen to the man speak: "Finally, the Rock HAS COME BACK to Boston. Shane and Stephanie, the Rock says you think you got all the answers. Well, Shane and Stephanie, Donny and Marie, Joanie and Chachie, the Rock says you got absolutely nothing! The Rock says you don't have a damn thing on the Rock, because the Rock says this: you think that you can intimidate the Rock by putting him in a handicap match against Chris Benoit and Perry Saturn? Well, let the Rock make one thing perfectly clear: regardless of how many obstacles you throw at the Rock; regardless of what type of roadblocks you put in front of the People's Champ, the Rock just keeps on coming - back. Now Chris Benoit, on Monday night, the Rock took you to war and beat you inside of a steel cage match. Now...Perry Saturn? Well, the Rock doesn't know much about you, other than you've got a bunch of Mickey Mouse tattoos, you've got a goofy name, a little bald shiny head, and you've got one eye that goes that way, and another eye that goes that way! So the Rock says this: Benoit, you come on down, let the Rock kick your money ass again; and Saturn, you come on down and let the Rock do you a favour and knock that lazy eye straight, so for the very first time in your life, you can get 20/20 vision - crystal clear - on looking at the Rock - watching the Great One layeth the smacketh down on your candyass! If ya smellllllllllllllllllllllllll what the ROCK is cookin'!" (2:45) We look backstage at the four folks watching on the monitor. Saturn and Benoit rush Rock and put the boots to him with great vigor. Double whip into the opposite corner, Benoit whips Saturn into Rock, who clothesline him - then Benoit - Saturn dumped over the top rope, Benoit off the ropes, back elbow, stomp, stomp, off the ropes, reversed, Benoit drives a knee in the abdomen (Rock FLIPS! even) and tags in Saturn. Rock scoops Saturn up and slams him. Stomping away, so Benoit comes in for a sidewalk slam to stop him. Saturn clotheslines Rock down, stomp, snap suplex with a quick look backstage one more time, Rock blocks a right and throws three rights of his own - Saturn hits a drop toehold, sending Rock into the second rope throat first. Whip is reversed, though - Rock going for Rock Bottom, but Benoit is in - German suplex, holding on for two, to a full nelson but as Saturn goes for a standing side kick, Rock manages to duck out and Benoit eats the kick! Spinebuster for Saturn, DDT for Benoit, Rock Bottom for Saturn, see ya. (2:10) Benoit attacks from behind before the music even gets started, and DEAN MALENKO & EDDIE GUERRERO come out to join them in working over the Rock. Malenko with a scoop slam and a lightning elbowdrop, legdrop by Guerrero, swandive headbutt by Benoit, then Malenko & Guerrero KICK DIRT ON HIM. How cool is that? Their music plays while the refs come out to separate them out...

Stephanie says it's time to spring her surprise...

Design a sign and win a trip to WrestleMania! Visit for details!

Mankind invades Manhattan - and eats ravioli!

WWF: The Music (Volume 4) ad

And now, the Free-for-all of the week, brought to you by - from RAW, Stephanie's slap for Shane. Hey, you can't say "slut" on SmackDown! but you can have all the nekkid chicks you want on "Secret Agent Man"

STEPHANIE ONO comes out to "My Time" and she is INCREDIBLY annoying now - she just goes through her entire repertoire of facial expressions, each one more annoying than the last. "Now I know that a lot of you are fans of the Rock. And as fans of the Rock, I can understand how you must feel, personally disappointed in the Rock's performance tonight. I mean, after all, the Radicals did PUMMEL the Rock. And you're all thinking that you won't have the opportunity to see him here again. Well, as usual, you're wrong. You WILL have the opportunity to see the Rock here tonight, but I'm not going to slap him in the face - instead, I'm going to *kick him in the pants.* Because tonight, in a very special match, the Rock will take on - the Dudley Boyz. This match will be a handicap - TABLE match. And Rock, the only way that you can win is if you put BOTH Dudley Boyz through tables; however, the Dudley Boyz only have to put YOU through one. So tonight I a matter of fact, I GUARANTEE that tonight will be the night the Rock gets PULVERISED."

Your hosts are a pair of kings - MICHAEL KING COLE & JERRY LAWLER. Things look bad for the Rock! Boo hoo!

CHRISTIAN (with Edge) v. ESSA RIOS (with Lita) for the Light Heavyweight Championship - after the challenger hits the ring from the crowd, we see NIPPLES walk down the ramp and give some instant helium to Lawler. Four title matches tonight! Must be a "night of champions!" Lockup, arm wringer by Christian, Rios flips and backflips out, Christian punches, off the ropes, dropkick misses as he holds on - monkey flip by Christian as Rios advances, but he lands on his feet. Gutshot, shove to the mat, Christian flips him AGAIN, out of the ring to the floor! Then Christian springs off the second rope with a plancha! Back in the ring we go...whip into the corner, Rios up, on Christian's shoulders, Christian spins him around and powerbombs him (!) - Cole calls it a "spinebuster" - well, MAYBE, I guess. Somehow, only a 2 count. Christian off the ropes, Lita grabs his ankle, stopping him - somehow referee "Blind" Chad Patton managed to turn his head at JUST the right moment to miss it. Christian turns around and Rios and he meet in the middle with a double face jam. As Terri gets on the apron to get Patton's attention, Lita climbs up to the top and moonsaults Christian! Edge comes in the ring to spear her (!) - for some reason, Patton calls for the bell (DQ 1:49) even though Edge didn't interfere with either participant - oh well. Terri walks back up and she really likes doing that "devil" thing. Rios is announced the winner, and Edge and Christian are left in the ring to argue. Cole loses A MILLION points for not bringing up the fact that Christian is a former light heavyweight champion.

Backstage, Kurt Angle delivers a lecture on the word "intercontinental" to an uninterested security guy

WWF SmackDown! for the PlayStation ad features plenty of the Rock - but if you don't blink, you might catch D'Lo Brown, Kane and Edge as well

WWF BackTalkin' Crushers ad ("Heygetoffmy - NOSE!")

Cole shills "Secret Agent Man" - without puking, even! You can tell he's a good radio man!

OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST, CELEBRATED REAL ATHLETE, AMERICAN HERO, AGENT OF CHANGE AND FIGHTING FORCE FOR DEMOCRACY KURT ANGLE v. TAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ for the intercontinental championship - "You know, there's something about this town...there's something about this town that inspires its athletes to greatness - once they leave, of course. It's true! Think about it! Babe Ruth, Roger Clemens, and finally, after twenty years, Ray Bourque has come to his senses and realised the only way to become a champion is to get the heck out of this town as soon as possible - it's true! It's true. But the good news is - your Olympic hero doesn't have to leave this town to become a winner - I already I am winner." Tazz is going to get HIS OWN shot with THE STICK: "Kurt Angle, you got all those championships around your waist, and all that metal around your neck - well, I'm gonna show YOU some heavy - metal!" and he punks him out. Wow, Tazz is a MASTER of the microphone! Two rights, into the ropes, drop toehold, clubberin' away, clothesline ducked, but not this one. T-bone Tazzplex and Angle rolls outside. Tazz goes out with him and pounds away. Head to the apron. Into the steps, but Angle climbs up and hits a back elbow flying off of them. Right, right, Tazz punches back, Angle pounds him down. Back in the ring, pound, pound. Suplex by Angle. Going for this finisher, but Tazz slips out and puts on the Tazzmission! Angle falls backwards, but Tazz holds on. Angle with a takeover, but he won't let go! Angle reaching for the ropes - Tazz rolls him to the centre! But now MR. BOB BACKLUND is out and he's got Tazz in the crossface chickenwing!! There's an explosion and out comes CHRIS THURSDAY JERICHO - clothesline for Angle, throwing him out - now stomping on Backlund until the hold is broken. Elbow, Backlund swings, Jericho ducks, and he's got him in the Walls of Jericho! Angle climbs to the top, Tazz is over to meet him, and then SUPERPLEX him back in! The refs come out to break up Jericho's hold and we see that Backlund is bloodied and twitching - 'cause he's OLD SCHOOL!

Backstage, X-Pac tells Dogg that he wants nothing more to do with Kane...

The Rock will host SNL on the 18th! Good thing UPN doesn't have a Saturday night show so they can plug it here!

Just in case you forgot, you're watching UPN!

Got no life? WrestleMania all day long - 2 April - only $49.95

ROAD DOGG & X-PAC (with Tori) v. KANE (with Paul Bearer and the TV-PG-DLV ratings box) in a handicap match - Dogg rhymes without reason, but makes up for it by selling fear of Kane's exploding pyro in comedic stumble fashion. Kane hits the ring and, after the obligatory flashpots, goes right for X-Pac but Dogg takes him out from behind to break the choke. Uppercut by Kane to Dogg, to X-Pac, to Dogg, to X-Pac, finally the two manage to overcome the one with punches. Into the ropes, but Kane hits a double clothesline, then dumps X-Pac over the top rope to the floor, then goes out after him. Dropping him on the barricade. Dogg jumps from the apron, but Kane catches him in a choke - X-Pac kicks to break it. Repeated kicks by the Kid. Back in the ring we go, kick, kick, chop, chop, chop, kick, Kane shrugs all this off and fires back with rights. Into the ropes, X-Pac ducks, but flies into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Dogg in, Dogg down. Hiptoss for X-Pac out of the corner. Tori on the apron, Kane outside, now climbing to the top, Dogg over to push away the leg and crotch him. X-Pac stomps on the head, then makes the tag. Dogg kicking away, himself. Dogg argues with referee "Blind" Teddy Long while X-Pac does the sneaky stuff behind his back. Dogg going to the rights, but Kane is starting to hulk up. Now the places are switched, and Kane's firing away. Dogg puts up the boots, though, and makes the tag. X-Pac all over him, stomping on him in the corner. Now HE'S tying up Long so Dogg can choke up. Paul Bearer chasing Tori on the outside, apparently. X-Pac cutting loose with rights, but Kane's coming back. Right, right, right, off the ropes, duck, spinning heel kick by X-Pac. ZOMBIE SITUP! X-Pac flies off the top, anyway - Kane catches him, then starts to put him in position for the tombstone - X-Pac wriggles free - gutshot - X Factor! BUT KANE SITS UP! X-Pac punches twice, Kane comes back. Into the corner, hard - X-Pac sidesteps the charge and hits his trifecta of kicks - Kane calmly walks out and puts X-Pac in the corner, punching away. Dogg comes in to help, and after they overpower him, they attempt a double whip into the corner - Kane holds on, though. Dogg is sent into the first corner - unfortunately, sandwiching Long - X-Pac whipped into Dogg to boot. X-Pac pressed - then dropped onto Dogg! X-Pac whipped into the corner - double choke - but Dogg hits him from behind. Double suplex attempted - but Kane counters with his own DOUBLE SUPLEX! Zombie situp, too. Off the ropes, big boot for X-Pac - ditto for Road Dogg. Kane's gonna fly - clothesline for X-Pac! And here's the choke - and chokeslam for X-Pac! Dogg comes over and tries the lefts, the juke, but Kane chokeslams HIM as well. At this point, Tori shoves Paul Bearer into the ringpost - why? Dunno. Kane grabs Tori by the hair and pulls her into the ring. Got her in place - but X-Pac has a chair - WHACK. THEN an X Factor on the chair! Dogg brings Long back to consciousness - 1, 2, 3. (6:54) The DX theme plays and they scurry with Kane following.

Let Us Take You Back to Last Monday where Mae Young busted the bronco of D-Von, the Dudleyz hit 3D (Dudley Death Drop) on Mark Henry, then Buh-Buh Ray superbombed Young through a table.

Let Us Take You Back to Earlier Today where KEVIN "NAILZ" KELLY stands with Henry, Young and Moolah - Young in a neck brace and wheelchair. He asks Young how she's feeling. Young says how do you THINK she's feeling - that's a stupid question. "Mark, the emotional toll." "Man, I am tired of the stuff that's going on around here - somebody's going to seriously be injured. She is too delicate, man - too fragile for this kinda stuff, man - excuse me..." and they walk off. Hey, so Young can have a four hundred pound man on top of her and suffer no ill effects, but...wait, what was my point?

Backstage, Buh-Buh Ray asks D-Von to remind him to give Stephanie a big wet one next time he sees her - he's pretty happy that they get a shot at a Rock already weakened by the Radicals.

JEFF HARDY (with Matt Hardy) v. STEVE BLACKMAN (with Riggs & Murtaugh...and Al Snow & Head) - backstage, Snow tells Blackman he's found his biggest fan - then some guy (who WASN'T me - I swear) wearing a giant cheese on his head gushes while Blackman acts annoyed. A Polaroid is taken, and while Snow watches it develop, Blackman gives a backhand to the solar plexus of the young lad. Snow asks what happened to him and Blackman suggests his heart must have fluttered from seeing his hero. Then he tells Snow to go on, and he'll catch up and he pastes the guy one more time, leaving him laying.

I GET LETTERS: STILL think that guy was me? Talk to Christopher Morgado, baby! Chris-

The dude with the glasses who was Steve Blackman's number 1 fan on Smackdown is my old roommate from my freshman year at Salem State college in MA. His name's Will Carbo, and I laughed my ass off watching him act like a complete nerd... or maybe I was just laughing so hard because the last time I saw him he was a mall security guard...

Snow encourages the chants - when Blackman isn't looking at him. That's kinda funny. Hardy rushes, Blackman side steps and punches away. Kick, punch, standing on the neck, referee "Blind" Jim Korderas argues the quasi-legal tactics, and Hardy kicks back, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, rake of the face by Blackman. Off the ropes, reversed, Blackman ducks a lariat, Hardy ducks an enzuigiri. Front face by Hardy, into the ropes, up and over, Blackman holds onto the rope, Hardy ducks a Lethal kick, crisscross, Hardy handstands over Blackman, then tosses him through the ropes. Hardy on top - plancha to the floor! Hardy gets up first, head to the barricade, kick, whip is reversed, Hardy walks up the steps and lands on the barricade, Blackman hops up onto the barricade to meet him - then BACKDROPS HIM TO THE FLOOR! Damn, Blackman's the INNOVATOR, baby! Give it a Snickers Double Feature! Back in the ring - 1, 2, no!! Into the ropes, press, gutbuster. Blackman tells the crowd he's the Lethal Weapon, then mocks the "gun" post to Matt on the outside. Stomping away, sidewalk slam. Blackman climbing to the second rope - but the Vaderbomb meets the boots. Hardy whips him into the corner, Blackman ducks and dumps Jeff onto the apron - hairpull takedown by Hardy, springing up and into a split-legged moonsault! But only 2! Hardy pounds on Blackman, then goes up with a moonsault kick - again Blackman is out at 2! Into the ropes, reverse, head down, Twist of Fate by Jeff! Snow's up on the apron, Korderas is over, now MATT is up on the apron and Korderas is over to keep HIM from getting involved. Snow pulls Blackman out of the way of the won-ton bomb - Blackman up to the top for the Lethal Kick! 1, 2, 3! (4:02) Blackman's showing you something, right? Eh? Right? Blackman's defeated both Hardy Boyz this week - replay of the missed senton bomb and top rope martial arts kick.

The Rock is holding his side - MY GOD! ROCK IS *SELLING*!

And now, the WWF Slam of the Week, presented by Jakks Pacific BackTalkin' Crushers! From RAW - Buh-Buh Ray superbombs Mae Young through a table - yowza!

DUDLEY BOYZ v. LA ROCA in a handicap table match - "table match" means "no DQ" is added to the stips, we learn. Oh, this is nontitle, too - well, DUH, Rock isn't a tag team! D-Von meets Rock on the ramp and it's on. Right, right, right, then for Buh-Buh, right, right, right. D-Von taken to the ramp, then a punch into the ... err, Little Dick Dudley. Now over to the floor to take on Buh-Buh Ray - head to the timekeeper's table! Shot for D-Von, who's been walking over. Double noggin knocker! Rock grabs the bell and hits a bell shot (complete with sound effect) of both men - wow, he really rang their bells! BWAAAAAAAAhahahahahaha - I kill me. Rock over to grab a chair - WHACK! for Buh-Buh Ray, who falls over the barricade. WHACK! for D-Von as well. Now Rock is over the barricade and taking Buh-Buh Ray out through the crowd, borrowing a drink and spitting it in his face. D-Von is over to offer help and there's a brief flurry. However, he charges, Rock recovers and dumps him back over the barricade. Buh-Buh Ray meets the same fate. Rock back over and I think we just MIGHT be going back into the ring - no, the Dudleyz are leaving, I guess. Rock runs up the ramp and hits a double clothesline! Buh-Buh doing a lot of screaming. Vertical suplex on the ramp for Buh-Buh Ray! We see H, Show and the McMahons watching on. Back in the ring, Rock wailing away on D-Von with rights. Buh-Buh Ray up from behiind and charley horsin' him - back suplex - "head to the graun" spot. Another look backstage. Punch by Buh-Buh Ray, D-Von holds the legs while Buh-Buh Ray drops the elbow - then the fistdrop. Into the ropes, Rock ducks Buh-Buh's clothesline, hits one of his own - then meets D-Von and goes down. D-Von directs traffic, and his half brother comes over. Double whip into the ropes, two heads down, kick for Buh-Buh Ray, face plant for D-Von, Samoan Drop for Buh-Buh Ray - D-Von runs at him, spinebuster! And now it might be time for the most electrifying - no, Buh-Buh Ray spears him. YEAH! Give it a Snickers Double Feature! Buh-Buh smiling. Outside and going for the table, D-Von stomping on the Rock in the meantime. Calling for the 3-D - but Rock breaks free of D-Von and DDT's him! Buh-Buh Ray climbs over the table and runs into ROCK BOTTOM through the table! We give THAT a Snickers Double Feature while Rock grabs a quick rest. Rock goes outside and produces a second table. Buh-Buh Ray goes outside, out on his feet. D-Von, also outside the ring, staggers to his feet. Rock goes outside and brings D-Von - no, D-Von puts ROCK into the STEEL steps. Now back in the ring, D-Von pounds away - off the ropes, Rock reverses into the Rock Bottom attempt, but Buh-Buh Ray is back in with the chair - WHACK! And now, D-Von won't lose him - 3D (Dudley Death Drop)! Through the table! That's it. (7:04) Rock holding his side once again - Buh-Buh Ray doing that bit with the stare. Replay of the 3D (Dudley Death Drop) as well as the jubilant reaction from the office. The EMT's join the usual suspects in the ring...

Mankind Chef Boyardee ad - once again - when WILL the madness end?

Let Us Take You Back to Moments Ago. During the Break, Rock shrugged off the offered help.

WWF SmackDown! is brought to you by SmackDown! (for the PlayStation), 10-10-220, and WWF: The Music (Volume 4 - available at Where? The Wherehouse!)

IVORY v. JACQUELINE for the Women's Championship - Ivory cold-cocks her, then goes outside and the chase is on - back in the ring, head to the stomach by Jackie, flips in and tries the Sunset flip, but Ivory sits down, 2, Jacqueline hooks the arms, 2, off the ropes, collision in midring. Jacqueline up first, two kicks, YES hairpull takeover, cover, 2. Ivory takes her down and pounds away on her - now Jacqueline turns the tide, pounding her head into the mat. Ivory sorta spears except Jacqueline stays on her feet. Into the opposite corner, bulldog attempt misses and Ivory gives herself an atomic drop. Got her by the hair, Ivory headbutts out of it. Arm wringer - WORKING AN ARMBAR? Holy cow! Twisting the arm again - Jacqueline holds the top rope, backflips, and hits a HUGE lariat. Elbowdrop - 1, 2, foot on the bottom rope. Jacqueline argues with referee "Blind" Mike Sparks - Ivory over to take advantage - off the ropes, Jacqueline hits a floatover DDT (!) and gets the pin. (2:05) Funny, we usually only get this match on Jakked...WOW! Jacqueline gives us a free look!

Backstage, the Rock reluctantly accepts some medical assistance

WrestleMania is 4 SNICKERS WEEKS AWAY! Tupac can't sue, he's DEAD!

CRASH HOLLY (with Scale Holly) v. PRINCE ALBERT IN A CAN for the Hardcore championship - Holly hides in the time tunnel to jump Albert from behind. Of course, the double sledge has little effect on him - easier to start out here, anyway, since what we REALLY want is to get behind the curtain. Holly spends a bit rolling down the ramp, then they go off to one side, and sure enough behind a curtain. Crash finds a plastic garbage can that just *happens* to have a metal lid, then runs Albert into a large crate. Albert comes back and slams Holly into the back of a truck. Crash comes back with a "handicapped parking" sign to the head. Crash leaps - but Albert catches him in a backbreaker. Whip into a - BIG BOX!! Scooped up, into a laundry cart...then slide into a nearby hockey net. (Crowd: "Goooooooooal!") Cover - 1, 2, I guess Crash gets a shoulder up - more likely, the MEAN STREET POSSE missed their cue to break up the pin. Rodney and Crash run out of the building while Joey Abs and Pete "Gas" find themselves brawling with Albert back out to the ring. Unfortunately, Long went with these guys instead of the champ. In the ring, Albert hits that move I forget the name of and don't want you to remind me on Abs, then a double choke into a short powerbomb on Gas. (under 3:00?)

In the locker room, Too Cool tells Rikishi they've got his back. Rikishi says it's about time to back that ass up. Hoo hah!

WWF: The Music (Volume 4) ad

Whoa! I thought Stan Lee was DEAD!

And now, the Smack of the Night, presented by SmackDown! for the PlayStation - the Dudley Boyz' 3D (Dudley Death Drop) through the table on the Rock!

Snickers presents WrestleMania LIVE 2 April! The main event now has a graphic - Big Show vs. Triple H - and maybe I'M the only one, but I think it'd be cool if they actually kept it there and HAD that match at WrestleMania. And you know? I'm almost ready to think that the WWF could pull off having that be the title match. There IS something of a slow burn developing here between these two guys, "Coalitions" notwithstanding...

TREBLE H (with Stephanie Ono) and WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW (with Skippy) v. RIKISHI PHATU (by his damn self) in a Handicap match - Hey, how about a little mic time to start? "Rikishi, I know you've been in the back watching - I know you've seen the ass kickin' the Rock has taken all night - well that is NOTHING, compared to what you are about to receive." Rikishi does a mini-Bischoff, mouthing along with the words. H and Show have a debate over who's going to start the match - they settle it with a Ro-Sham-Bo - Rock beats scissors (Lawler: "That's the only Rock that HASN'T been beaten on tonight!") H charges but it's blocked, four rights from Rikishi, off the ropes, back body drop, clothesline, punch blocked from Show, four rights for HIM as well, Show knocked outside, back to H as we see Too Cool watching on backstage. H slips a clothesline and hits "what a" neckbreaker to gain control. Tag out to the Show, who comes in, off the ropes, and misses the elbowdrop. Phatu with a right, right, scoops him up, collapses under the weight, Show drops the knee, again, and HE scoops him up and slams him. Yow! Tag out to Triple H. Right, right, right, right, right, kick, kick, kick, kick, referee "Blind" Earl Hebner muscles him away, so Show sneaks in a little choke with the foot as well. Outside now, Phatu reverses a whip into the barricade and gets back in the ring. After blocking a punch, right, right, off the ropes, head down, facecrusher by Triple H. One, two, nope. H mounts him and lays into him with rights. Tag to the Big Show, forearm, headbutt, open-handed slap, elbow, head to the buckle, Show shows HE can use his butt as well - into the opposite corner, followed by a lariat. Stomp. STANDING SIDE KICK! We look backstage as Too Cool decides they need to go out and help - but as we follow them, we find out that Road Dogg & X-Pac were laying in wait - Sexay and Hotty and promptly punked out. Back in the ring, Phatu is whipped into the corner, and Show hits an avalanche splash. Over to make the tag - but Triple H doesn't want to tag. A discussion ensues, getting a little more heated, and now Show shoves H! H trying to make up, but as the hand shakes, H throws a right to the Big Show! Show headbutts the champ! H staggers into a superkick from Phatu. Show tries another splash - but misses! Phatu with a right, right, superkick, H whipped into the Show, priming up his giant ass - fat ass splash! BELLY-to-belly suplex for H, Samoan Drop (!) for Big Show! H slumped in the corner, it's time once again for the big stinkface! Stephanie is up on the apron to tie up Hebner while Shane comes into the ring brandishing a chair. whack. Well, THAT was a weak chairshot - and indeed, it has no effect as Phatu turns around and gives a stare to Shane. But from behind, the Big Show hits a clubbing blow - Rikishi slumps forward into a right, the bounces into a clothesline from the Show that has him spinning. Show says it's time - ahhhhhhhTHECHOKESLAAAAAM. H is over - Pedigree! Surely that's it. H covers...1, 2, 3. (7:22) But they're not done - H takes the chair and WHACKS him in the back a few times. Choke with the chair. Before they remember to attack the bad leg one more time, the music hits and out comes LA ROCA, holding his side (some ribs are taped) - but actually hiding a lead pipe behind his back - Show rushes him and gets a pipe in the mush. In the ring, blows are traded - now it's all Rock with rights - NOW KISS THAT RIGHT! Got him ready for the Rock Bottom - but Shane hits Rock right in the ribs with the pipe. Shane throws it to Triple H - who bobbles it - then takes the pipe to Rock. Lotsa pipe shots, some with fun "ping" sound effect. PING to Rikishi's head! ahhhhhhhhTHECHOKESLAAAAAM to the Rock! Rock is dead weight, but H will STILL pick him up for the Pedigree. I'm sensing that they've forgotten their least until Monday. All four raise their arms - trash starts to fill the ring - we look back to see the Rock making faces. What desperate measure will this desperate man take? Well, tonight...nothing! The credits are up and WE ARE OUT! See you later!

AFTER THE FACT: Michael Sherman was there, baby: Hey Chris, love your work! Let's do lunch!!

Anyway, some random thoughts from the Smackdown tapings in Boston that haven't been covered:

During several of the matches where one of the Hebner's was refereeing (I'm not sure which), there were signifcant chants of "You screwed Bret" which were accompanied by Hebner mocking the Crowd by conducting the chant.

Best sign that I saw: "The Guy Behind Me Can't See"

We were about two rows up in the Loge section (behind the floor seats) and just to the right of the Oval, and the noise from the pyro displays was downright scary! Jericho's entrance was the loudest, with the opening from Heat coming in a close second. We could feel the heat from the flames from the ringposts for Kane's entrance from where we sat (about 50 feet away).

The signholding is getting obnoxious. Whenever anybody on the floor held up a sign, we couldn't see what was going on in the ring. The younger fans in the audience near the ring didn't even watch the matches. They just watched the Jumbotron and when they thought the camera was on them, they held up their signs. Security only stopped them a couple of times.

Lillian Garcia gave a pretty good rendition of the National Anthem ( her legs aren't too shabby either!!)

A lot of the crowd left once the taping ended, and they missed the crowd pleasing stuff with Rikish and Too Cool. The Rock was in the ring at the time (Rikish and the Rock had beaten down both HHH and the Big Show after the taping was over), and Too Cool tried to get him to dance. However, staying in character, he left, and the Sprockets episode was on. Got a good pop.

Jericho seemed as much over as the Rock, although he only wrestled officially for the Heat tapings.

The crowd just about fell asleep during the Women's match. Too bad, it was actually a pretty good match for the short time it lasted.

Terri must have had her costumes taped on. There was no other way her tits could have been held in with what she was wearing.

Well that's it for now. Look forward to reading your recap.

What'd you think, Mike?

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Copyright (C) 1999, 2000 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications