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/23 November 2000

WWF SmackDown!




KINGS UPDATE: 8-3, tied for first with the Suns!

POSTERITY: Tonight I successfully converted a 7-9 split in the tenth frame. And, oh man, you should have SEEN was a BEAUTIFUL, CLASSIC, TEXTBOOK completion - perfect spin knocking the nine pin directly to the side and into the seven. NOBODY believed it - hell, *I* didn't even believe it.

Unfortunately, I had another entire game after where was the fun in THAT.

It *is* a holiday over here, so I'm back at my parents house in my adopted hometown of Modesto, California...which means you and I are watching UPN 31, KMAX - Sacramento!

Not just UPN Thursday - UPN Thanksgiving! Happy Turkey Day from UPN...get ready for a wild Turkey Night! WWF SmackDown! Thanksgiving starts...NOW!

TV-PG-DLV - One World Leader Attitude - WWF!

Opening Credits

I don't know what's more scary, the PYRO or the giant turkey with a UPN logo on it! We're on tape and transmitido en espanol SAP Thanksgiving Day, 23.11.2K from the National Car Rental Center in Ft. Lauderdale, FL (taped 21.11 - have it back by 8pm) and let's waste no time announcing the main event: Benoit and Kane vs. Jericho and Austin! Speaking of wasting no time....

WWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP: EDDIE GUERRERO v. THA 1 BILLY GUNN - As the champion makes his way out first (because tradition bites), KMAX places a rather intrusive crawl across Eddie's face, telling me that if only I'd watch "Good Day Sacramento," I'd get my chance to win tickets for the January WWF Live Event at Arco Arena...before they go on sale! Let's try to ignore that and listen to the man with all the Latino Heat: "Hey! Yeah, that's right. You, Billy Gunn. I'm talking about you Esse Goldilocks! You know, you CAAAAAAAAME and you may have stooged on me to may have done a lot of things to me...maybe you think now that you want what's around my waist, Goldilocks...but I doubt that you're gonna get that tonight, because you see, I AM Latino Heat and only *I*...have the Heat that each and every one of you Mamacitas out there wants tonight! Come on baby! Don't deny it! So Goldilocks, get your...BUTT...out down here, and let me knock the bleach off it right now!" Guerrero slides out to try to take oit to him, but he ends up on the wrong end of the fisticuffs. Head to the barriade. Slammed into the barricade again - and then, dropped on the barricade. Rolled in, and the opening bell sounds. Guerrero turns it back around with a right, right, right, right, right, right, into the ropes, reversal, back elbow by Gunn, pulling him back up, into the ropes, big back body drop. "Eddie sux" chant. Edit here? Into the ropes, duck, collision in the middle of the ring. Guerrero outside and bringing the belt back in with him...but Gunn kicks him in the gut before he can use it. Guerrero falls into referee "Blind" Tim White on his way down. Into the ropes, no, Guerrero holds on, gutshot, then DDT's Gunn on the belt. White, after removing the belt from the ring, gets back over and counts only to 2 before Gunn kicks out. Guerrero stomps. Guerrero up top - FROG SPLASH! 1, 2, KICKOUT?!? Guerrero can't belive it...and neither can I. Gunn pulling himself up, but Guerrero over - stomp, stomp, standing on the neck. White breaks it up. Sent into the opposite corner, reversed, Guerrero puts an elbow up. Guerrero runs into a bodyslam...and Gunn gets 2. Right, Gunn right, Guerrero, Gunn, back and forth and so on we go. Gunn puts him in the ropes, big ol' clothesline. Into the ropes, tilt-a-whirl slam gets...2. Into the corner goes Guerrero - Gunn with an avalanche. Gutshot...jackhammer (weak)...Gunn bleeding from the forehead the hard way. Setting up for the Fame'Asser - hit it! Well, that's all - 1, 2, NO!!!!! Each man has kicked out of the other's finisher - I can't believe THAT either. Gunn doesn't know what to do with him now. Off the ropes...going for another Fame'Asser but Guerrero boosts him to put the move on the top rope, instead. Both men down and barely moving. White puts on the count...3...4...Guerrero back up top and going for a fistdrop, but Gunn catches him, sleeper, into a uranage from the back....leg is hooked - 1, 2, 3! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new intercontinental champion. (5:36)

In the commissary, the commissioner and lieutenant commish are dressed in holiday attire - he as Pilgrim, she as Injun. After the requisite local heat is scored, Foley says tonight they'll "enact a traditional Thanksgiving feast," which can only mean one thing - a traditional food fight later in the show! Jim Ross shows up with a plate of chicken, prompting Debra to say something about "succulent breasts." That's two segments and two rolls of my eyes...must be one o' THEM nights. Anyway, we are told that later tonight we'll be seeing a lot more WWF superstars demonstrating their recipes, and if you're smelling a cookbook plug here and there, you've got some sharp eyes and ears. ("Because you smell with your eyes and ears?") ("Hey, I got no TIME for you - this is a HOLIDAY!")

Moments Ago, Billy Gunn wins the IC title for the...hmmm, I can't say I recall if he HAS won it or not. I'm full of turkey and zinfandel!

Backstage, Eddie Guerrero throws a bit of a tantrum about his sudden state change to beltless...hey, was that Test accidentally straying into the shot, then ducking back into another room?

WILLIAM REGAL comes to the ring with the logo. "Hullo, greetings and well wishes to all my friends here it Fort Lauderdale! Now as you know, my friends, we are coming upon a festive holiday that you call Thanksgiving. And being an ambassador of goodwill, I am here to tell you... ["USA!"] I am here to tell you that Thanksgiving represents *everything* that is wrong with your country. Firstly, Thanksgiving started when several Pilgrims (who were kicked out of England, by the way) came to this country, broke bread with the Native American fellows, slaughtered some turkeys and they all had a merry old time. And today, this is why you give thanks to your fellow man and think that everything in the world is peaceful and harmonious. Well that, my friends, is a load of bloody rubbish. What does Thanksgiving mean today? I will tell you. It means a bunch of overweight, disgusting, dysfunctional families sitting on their bums watching cartoon balloons parade on their television screens. What exactly is a Rugrat? I don't know, but one thing I do know, it shouldn't have any part of a holiday. ["Ass hole!"] (great facial expression here) And then, we come to the Thanksgiving meal. Don't even get me started about that, because there's so many things wrong with it, it's shocking...but, I will let you know exactly what you need to do to correct this. We won't miss any out, don't worry. Firstly, after you finish the meal, you do not unbutton your trousers and sit at the table - it is ghastly, not to mention very ill-mannered. Secondly, after your meal, if you must emit a belch, please put your hands to your mouth - this should go without bloody saying! Thirdly... listen, I'm only trying to help..." IF YA SMELLLLLLLL interrupts at this point, cueing more hilarious facial expressions from Regal while we wait for the crowd to adjust to the situation. "Finally, the Rock HAS COME BACK... ... ... ... ... ...home. (pause for chant) You see, William Regal, do you think that the Rock has come out here to disagree with your little Thanksgiving message? You're wrong. Quite frankly, the Rock agrees with everything you've said. You see, first and foremost, Thanksgiving IS a damn fine holiday. Secondly, after you eat the meal, there's nothing wrong with unbuttoning your pants. And thirdly, you are nothing more than a suit wearing, bug eyes, cockamamie punk ass (beep!)" "Now, you listen to me, sunshine. I don't like you coming out here and besmirching my words..." "Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoa...let the Rock understand this. 'Besmirched.' ... ... ("Rock E") ..." I guess we have all night. "You are - use this word besmirched. William, are you feeling besmirched?" "Well, quite honestly, yes, I am--" "It doesn't matter if you're feeling besmirched! Let the Rock set you straight on just a coupla things. You see, the Pilgrims weren't kicked out of England...they LEFT England. They left England, they came over to America and they landed on a place called Plymouth....Rock." I should note that Michael Cole is in full-blown "laugh like Vince McMahon" mode, saying "HA HA HA" at every pause. "And you see, Thanksgiving - it's not about eating and drinking - no no no, it's about giving thanks. And all the Rock's fans would give much thanks if the Rock were just to walk down this ramp...get inside the ring, look you right in the eyes and then proceedeth to (accent) roll up your candy bum all over Ft. Lauderdale!" Another great Regal look. "Was that some kind of a challenge? Are you challenging me to a match here tonight?" "You bet your British (beep) the Rock is challenging you to a match tonight. It's gonna be you and the Rock - you going one on one with the great one, and the Rock says this: after the match, we're going to have ourselves a very nice Thanksgiving meal. The Rock is gonna take a turkey...the Rock is gonna eat the breast, eat the wing, eat the thigh...but the Rock is gonna save you the drumstick. And the Rock is gonna take that drumstick, he's gonna wash it off so it's nice and clean, he's gonna take some of that English Worcestershire sauce that you like to eat...and then, in an act of American goodwill, the Rock is gonna bend you over, turn it sideways and stick it straight up your candy(beep)!" One more great reaction from Regal. "IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL what the Rock is cookin'!"

Foley and Debra discuss family atmosphere. "I don't know, I don't really like the family thing...there's always one family member that really gets on your nerves...hi, Al!" Al Snow, cleanshaven, presents the Al snowpeas. Foley: "He just said "Al Snow pees!" "That was bad. That really sucked. That joke was bad." Foley tells him to sit down with JR. Snow thanks Debra for inviting him...then glowers at Foley. "I enjoy a white Christmas...but I really hate Snow at Thanksgiving! Come on, THAT one was good..."

XFL spot - the latest copy of the KNBR Sports Reader included season ticket signups for the Demons. Somehow, I managed to pass on it

Zelda spot - visit for another ad

Happy Thanksgiving from UPN!

Commentators exhort us to watch "Freedom" tomorrow to see if our name is announced as a winner of a PlayStation 2!

Back to the meal we go where Foley and Debra compliment each other's outfits. Kat arrives with some homemade beef jerky. "What an attractive dish!" Oh, she's blonde again, so so much for Chynette. She wouldn't have gotten along with Terri, anyway...

HARDCORE HOLLY & CRASH NOLASTNAME v. T&A (by their damn selves) in a hardcore tag - inside we brawl, outside we brawl - Trish isn't around because later tonight, she'll take on Molly Holly! It may be a hardcore matchup, but that doesn't mean that Hardcore stlil won't bust out the Best Dropkick in the Business. Somehow, referee "Blind" Jim Korderas manages to keep on top of the action, even as they split up. Hardcore finds a leather strap, and uses it liberally. Albert has a yaaaaaah run-in with the ringpost. Hardcore with a broomstick, broken across Test's back. Hardcore's about ready to patent that crotch shot. Crash working with a garbage can lid on Test. Test manages to dump Crash onto the apron, but HE manages to turn the tide, then come back in with the leprechaunrana after flipping over the top rope to come back in! Unforunately, he only gets 2. Missile dropkick to a garbage can lid to the head also only gets 2. Albert with a fire extinguisher onto Hardcore, knocking him out long enough to get back in the ring. Yaaaaaaaah garbage can in the corner. Whip into Test's big boot - cover, 3. (3:41) Hardcore whacks Test after the match, so they play Crash's music. How confusing!

Too Cool bring some sweet potato casserole and orange salad. Does this make you want to buy a cookbook?

The Dudley Boyz show No Mercy in this ad

It's never to early to think Christmas, and this lovely rendering of a hip Santa wearin' a pair of Lugz while swinging from the various renderings of WWF sets just MIGHT be the latest version of the Boot of the Week! Sorry, this is the Lugz Peace and Joy! From RAW, Right to Censor saved their titles....but Steven Richards went through a table.

BALD VENIS (with Steven Richards) v. K-QWIQ (with Road Dogg) - Richards, God love him, STILL sells the neck from his two table trips earlier in the week. "I would like to come out here and wish each and every single one of you a happy Thanksgiving, HOWEVER I CANNOT DO THAT! You see, each and every single one of you SHOULD be at home right now, spending quality time with your family. But you're not, are ya? You're doing what the Right to Censor has always said you have done - you are proving that you are nothing more than a buncha immoral scum(mute) - why? Because instead of spending quality time with your family, you're watching this sick, perverse programming! Now, tonight, the Right to Censor DEMANDS that you say NO MORE to the song 'Getting Rowdy,' and say hello to getting morality." Does this mean no Gravy Bowl match this year? Boot by Venis, right, right, right, right, right, kick, kick, stomp, stomp, stomp, standing on the neck until referee "Blind" Chad Patton gets him to break it. Into the opposite corner, Kwik up and over, backflip, ducks a clothesline, right, right, right, right, into the ropes is reversed, ducks the back elbow from Venis, flying headscissors takeover, clothesline to take him over the top rope and outside. K-Kwik's gonna fly - no-hands tope! Out on the floor - right, Venis counters with a press...and drop on the barricade. Stomp, stomp, back in the ring and he follows. Head to the buckle by Venis, right hand, into the opposite corner, but he gets the boot up. Elbow put up on the next charge from Venis. Venis ducks a clothesline, Kwik with "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," right, right, into the ropes, clothesline puts Venis down. Into the ropes, big back body drop, head to the buckle, into the opposite corner and Venis hits hard. Kwik with a dropkick to the head. Running at him in the corner, but Venis puts an elbow up. Cover, feet on the top rope - 1, 2, Patton notices and stops the count. Venis and Patton start with a discussion, K-Kwik tries a schoolboy and gets 2. Right, right, right, off the ropes...and into a Venis spinebuster. Venis going up top...going to try the Censor Shot but Kwik is over to meet him before he can leave the buckle. Right, right, HE'S climbing up, right, Frankensteiner! Now BULL BUCHANAN & GOODFATHER are out to beat up Road Dogg...and doing rather well at it, I should add. Patton turns his attention to this, while behind his back Venis clocks Kwik with a surprise shot. But Kwik manages a gobehind and rollup...hey, STILL no ref. This bring Richards into the ring for a DDT to K-Kwik. Venis hooks a leg - 1, 2, 3. This MUST be Florida, 'cause RtC just stole this match. (3:58)

More folks have joined the Thanksgiving feast. The Dudleyz say "wassup." Funaki presents some kungpao chicken. Foley says "candy cane" and Funaki hears "Kane," and runs off. Foley and the Dudleyz take turns saying "wassup" again after Scotty 2 Hotty fills Foley's mouth with Redi-Whip. I feel an opinion forming....oh, wait, I just lost it in a haze of triptoph- whatever they are.

Zelda ad #2 - Did Matt Hardy say "he's only got 72 hours to finish this SmackDown! report?"

You're STILL watching UPN, it's STILL Thanksgiving, and you're STILL expected to be HAPPY

This is still Florida, so here's a shot of a palm tree. And here's the exterior of the imposing NCR Arena

Let Us Take a Special Video Look at Kurt Angle, Eric Angle and the Undertaker...from RAW

It should come as no surprise that KING KURT ANGLE is out at this point with a few words to say. WWF SmackDown! is brought to you by THQ's "WWF No Mercy," Crunch 'n Munch, and Nintendo's "The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask!" Angle wears a horsecollar - probably resulting from his little trip last Monday. "You know, believe it or not, Your Olympic Hero is a little naive, because when I successfully defending my title against the Undertaker at Survivor Series, I thought that would be the end of it. I mean, I faced the Undertaker, I pinned his shoulders to the mat, and I had my hand raised in victory. And in the past, when I would face my opponents, whether it be in high school, college or the Olympics, my opponents, after I beat them of course, would say 'Nice job, Mr. Angle - it was an honour just to be in the ring with you!' But oh no, not the Undertaker...oh no. Undertaker, if that is your real name, you just can't stand the fact that you lost to the better man, and what you did was the most unsportsmanlike thing I have ever seen. And you know, to have a problem with me is one thing...but to take it out on my brother, who just happened to be under the ring, merely hiding under the ring so he could come out and surprise his baby brother, and celebrate my big win with me after I beat you...and you had to give the Last Ride to my brother in the middle of this ring...well, congratulations, Undertaker, because that little piece of business just earned you Sore Loser of the Year. It's true! But that wasn't it, was it, Undertaker? Last Monday night on RAW, when I was trying to make it up to my brother by giving him his moment in the sun, you had to go and ruin that too. Get better, Eric...I love ya. Well, let's face it, Undertaker - unlike you, I *love* MY brother! I didn't set MY brother's face on fire...and force him to wear a scary red mask the rest of his life! But you just couldn't take it, now, could you? You had to take my brother, my poor innocent brother...who charged you because he was so mad at you, and you had to chokeslam him right here, again, in the middle of the ring. But that wasn't it, was it, Dead Man? You had to attack me for no reason at all, and you had to cowardly chokeslam me from the stage to the floor! You sick, twisted...(beep)! You see how mad you made me? But I finally Get It. You're jealous! Undertaker, let me ask you a question. Where are YOUR Gold Medals? Oh, sure, you have a spiffy little bike, and some real scary tattoos...but I don't think you have any Gold Medals, now, do you? And you're not going to get the ultimate Gold Medal either...which is...the WWF title. You know, American Bad(beep), you're nothing compared to the American Hero. And if I ever see you even look at my funny again, by golly, I will do--" BONG ARE YOU SCARED HE'S HERE OHHHHHHH THEY CALL ME COWBOY AND SO ON HEY HEY HEY HEY walking out....all the way to the ring, entering, removing his glasses...and losing his patience. Got him - soupbone! Soupbone to the back of the neck after the brace falls - another shot - EDGE & CHRISTIAN (and an "ad for Good Day Sacramento" crawl at eye level) hit the ring and quickly go down to a series of soupbones - Angle with a clip to turn it around, and the tripleteam is on. Why, some might say that Angle was maybe faking that neck injury all along! Undertaker decides a big fat no-sell is over, so Angle, Edge and Christian decide to hightail it up the ramp while Kid Rock's in the house once again and that's where I am.

William Regal is WALKING! And shaking the hand of everyone he sees. He's Bob Backlund!

Meanwhile, the Rock is WAKING!

WWF Shop Zone dot com ad

"WWF SmackDown! 2" for PlayStation ad - featuring Kurt Angle as the Rock

Moments Ago, Angle said some stuff, Undertaker spoke with his hands (Undertaker is Terminator X), and Edge and Christian joined Angle to provide some licks

During the Break, Edge, Christian and Angle congratulated each other on the way to a quick getaway in their rentacar

WILLIAM REGAL (almost already in the ring) v. IF YA SMELLLLLLL in a nontitle match - Gutshot, right, right, into the ropes, back elbow, right, right, right, into the opposite corner is reversed, but he pops out with a clothesline. Whoops, this is a wrinkle - RIKASHMONEY at the top of the ramp to watch the doin's. This allows Regal to turn it around with a forearm in the back (didn't Rock see him on the OvalTron?), European forearm, again, into the ropes, reversed, duck, Rock helps Regal over the top rope to the floor. Rock with another look to Rikishi, then he goes outside as well. Regal tastes the barricade, but manages to reverse a whip into the ringpost, then clothesline him over the barricade and into the crowd. Regal breaking out the fisticuffs! Left, left forearm in the back, left, left, left, back over the barricade. Rock with a right, right, right, Regal pokes the eyes. Left. Stealing Lawler's chair...but only hitting the post. Rock with a right. Going for the commentary, but Regal blocks it - elbow in the gut, face to the commentary table! Back into the ring and Regal still on him...kick, grinding in the cover...for 2. Another cover gets another 2. Rock with a right, right, right, Regal with a European elbow. Another big forearm. Into the ropes, but Rock flies off with a clothesline! Regal ducks a clothesline and hits a death suplex - 1, 2, Rock puts the shoulder up. Regal covers again - but only gets 1. Into the ropes is reversed, but Regal comes off with a kick. Rock blocks, right, right, right NOW KISS THAT...but Regal ducks the punch and lands a European elbow to the back of the head! 1, Rock's shoulder is up. Into the ropes, reversed, gutshot and DDT by the Rock. Another look Rikishi's way...he's got the gloves on. Into the ropes, belly-to-belly throw, cover, 2. Rock still on him - right hand, whip is countered with an arm wringer takedown - Regal's foot is on the second rope - 1, 2, no!! Regal stomp, stomp, stomp. Into the ropes, Rock holds on, Regal tries a kick, Rock catches it, dragon screw legwhip, sharpshooter! Regal quickly taps - better to fight another day. (4:27) Rock looks to Rikishi and makes the "just bring it" pantomime. Rikishi smiles and makes the "not today" hand motion...and walks off. Rock is ready to leave the ring...but Regal catches his eye. We take a look at Regal pointing to his title and letting us know he's still champion. Royal wave! Rock lies in wait - ROCK BOTTOM! Play his music again!

"Dungeons & Dragons?" WHY?!?

When we come back, Foley uses his broken Japanese to tell Funaki that there's a difference between Kane and candy canes. He sits opposite the Dudley Boyz, who say "Wassup." Mideon brings some minestrone. Does this make you want to buy a cookbook?

TAZZZZZZZZZ (with Let Us Take You Back One Week) v. RAVEN - Last week, Raven and Tazz had a spat...or perhaps it was more of a tiff. At any rate, here we go. Tazz punks out Raven before he can part the ropes and he falls to the floor. Tazz outside after him and here we go - right, into the barricade, right, into the ring and Tazz folows. Still to come: Triple H's condition updated! Tazz choken Raven with a T-shirt. Kick, kick, into the opposite corner is reversed, and Raven clotheslines him as he backs out. Kneelift. Four rights from the mount. Tazz grabs Raven's face, rakes, head to the mat hard, badmouth, right. "Get up! Fight me!" Shoved to the mat again. Right is blocked, Raven with a right, right, clothesline ducked, T-bone Tazzplex. Head to the buckle, kick, kick, right, right, referee "Blind" Jack Doan asks him to watch them closed fists. Shove in the face. "You punk ass!" Raven promptly reverses positions and now HE'S hailing down the right hands - six , to be precise. Into the opposite corner, follow clothesline, bulldog out. Right hand, right off the ropes, into the ropes is reversed but Raven holds on - but Tazz holds on to THAT, countering into a Northern Lights suplex for 2! Raven surprises Tazz with an inside cradle for 2. Knee by Tazz, into the ropes, Raven holds on, knee to the gut, DDT, 1, 2, 3. (2:26) Crowd goes WILD. Well, I may be exaggerating.

Back to the feast. Debra has a pie in the oven and needs to take off. Foley walks over to ask the Dudleyz what they've brought. They show off some Dudleyville Dumplings. "D-Von, get the dumplings!" Nobody laughs. Foley says it's nice to see them sitting at a table instead of putting somebody through it...this causes them to grab Funaki and Jonathan Coachman..but Foley stops them, saying that Debra would be peeved. He tries the "D-Von, get the dumplings" line again, but Too Cool make "you're not cool/ixnay" motions.

"Mick Foley's Christmas Chaos" ad

Jakks Pacific's "WWF Backstage Mayhem" playset ad

When we come back, Eddie Guerrero tells Chris Benoit he doesn't want to talk about it, while Benoit promises "we'll get it back." LILIAN GARCIA breaks in and tries to get a word from Eddie, but Benoit stops her. "You don't have a clue, do you? You do not have a clue, do you? What the hell were you gonna ask him? I said what the hell were you gonna ask him? Were you gonna ask him what it felt like to lose his title tonight? Is that what you were gonna do? Was that what you were planning on doing? Ha! While you're at it, why don't you ask me what it felt like to lose to Stone Cold Steve Austin Monday night, huh? Why don't you bring up - why don't you remind me just how that felt, huh? You trying to say he's a better wrestler than I am?! (knocks over a lamp) ANSWER ME!!" "No!" "Let me tell you aboot Stone Cold Steve Austin - the ONLY reason he got his hand raised in victory Monday was he capitalised on one of my mistakes - yes I make mistakes. But Monday was his night, tonight is another night, and Stone Cold Steve Austin is gonna find oot what Benoit's Wrestle Ed 101 is all aboot and there is no way he is gonna Prove Me Wrong. Now get the hell OUT OF HERE!" Not only was he so angry that he actually pronounced "out" correctly, but he appears to have even scared Eddie Guerrero, judging by his look...

The WWF Rewind is presented by THQ's "WWF SmackDown! 2: Know Your Role" for the PlayStation! From Monday, Trish Stratus interferes in Molly Holly's match, ultimately costing her the decision.

TRISH STRATUS - THE FITNESS MODEL (with logo) v. MOLLY HOLLY - they run at each other, but miss...looks lke Holly ducked a clothesline. Dueling armbars, to a hammerlock by Stratus. Holly with a fireman's carry takeover into an armbar. Stratus rolls backwards to undo it. Holly with a snap wringer, another, short clothesline, and repeatedly ramming Stratus' head to the mat. Into the turnbuckle. Into the ropes, hiplock takeover, running at Stratus, but she lowers the bridge and Holly goes over the top to the outside. Stratus quickly out to pile it on - stomp, stomp, into the barricade (sorta), head to the apron, and rolled back in. Stratus shoves her again. Going for a vertical suplex - and hits it! Leg is hooked - 1, 2, no! Head to the buckle - again - Stratus sitting on the top turnbuckle, and picking her up in a noose choke. Both of Holly's legs off the ground and swinging freely! Another choke for 4 from "Blind" Teddy Long. There's the bulldog - 1, 2, KICKOUT!! Stratus with a bodyslam...going up top? But Holly makes it over in time and beals her over to the mat. Chop, chop, into the ropes, knee to the gut, Northern Lights suplex...but only 2! Into the corner, Stratus dumps her to the apron but she lands on her feet - over to try a punch but it's blocked, forearm by Holly...climbing up top, but Stratus crotches her. Stratus going for a superplex? Holy workrate, Batman! Holly won't go, though - kidney punch, another, Stratus falls backwards. Holly with a ... WOW! HOLLY WITH A SOMERSAULT THESZ PRESS FROM THE TOP!! 1, 2, 3!! (3:04) Yeah, I WOULD like a replay

Debra: "You guys! Who would like a piece of my pie?" Snow: "Is that a trick question?" Funaki: "Excuse" Everyone: (hilarious laughter) Me: "Uh....did you guys not see my eyes rolling over here?"

Oooh, bad timing - KMAX ran the crawl during the ad break. That can't be cricket!

"WWF Backstage Mayhem" ad #2

Let Us Take You Back to Survivor Series...and its shocking conclusion.

Let Us Take You Back to Last Monday Where Stephanie Had Some Words. I missed the "THE GAME IS OVER WITH NO CONTINUE" sign so I'll note it now (thanks, clip editing wizards!) That Austin's One Mean Sumbitch, Ain't He?

Our commentators are a pair of kings - MICHAEL KING COLE & JERRY LAWLER. Cole tells us Triple H was released from the hospital to his home in Greenwich, Connecticut and Thanksgiving with his wife. Let me see if I got this right: Dick Cheney *flutters* and has to spend his ENTIRE Thanksgiving away from home, while Triple H gets dropped forty feet in a car and is out in three days. And NOW it's rumoured that Triple H will be back at RAW on Monday night? Hoo boy. Meanwhile, Chyna will guest host Heat this Sunday...she might have some words to say as well.

Back at the feast, Foley is ready to address the assembled masses, but Tiger Ali Singh and Lo Down barge in and demand to be allowed to be part of the celebration. Foley tries a spit take while Debra tells them to calm down and have a little bit of the pie. Even though this APPEARS to be what Singh asked for, he still isn't happy. "You can't ignore us forever!" He throws the pie out of camera range...but as we pan over, everyone makes assorted "ooooh" sounds. Turns out that that pie...hit Steve Blackman. IT'S PARTY TIME! Blackmna throws a Lethal Kick to Singh, and he falls on the Dudleyz' table. Blackman takes a garbage can lid and works over both heads of Lo Down. We look back at the Dudleyz where Singh is being set up for 3D through the table. And NOW, Buh Buh Ray has the words for which we've waited all night. FOOD FIGHT!" Debra: "I think we should have seen this coming." Foley: "Things could be worse..." Debra gives him a pie in the face. HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Was there CHEESE in that pie?

Meanwhile, Chris Jericho is WALKING!

Meanwhile, Chris Benoit is WALKING!

Meanwhile, Kane is WALKING!

Meanwhile, Stone Cold Steve Austin is WALKING!

Meanwhile, Gangrel is WALKING!

Meanwhile, Tracy Smothers is WALKING!

Meanwhile, Tom Brandi is WALKING!

Meanwhile, Kevin Quinn is WALKING!

Meanwhile, Eric Shelley is WALKING!

"WWF SmackDown! 2" ad #2

Chris Jericho eats ravioli! (Damn Canadians ignoring our holidays!)

WELL IT'S KANE (with Castrol Motor Oily presents WWF Armageddon 10 December!) and CHRIS BENOIT v. CHRIS THURSDAY JERICHO and STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN - I had a 4-6-7-10 split and my brother said "that's a Benoit split," which seemed to look a little too balanced to me, given that Benoit's tooth is missing off to one side. Of course, I hit the field goal on THAT one. Jericho, at least, is consistently smart enough to wait for his tag team partner to show up before hitting the ring. Got about ten minutes left in the show, yo. Austin's decided to go ahead and pose in two corners anyway - referee "Blind" Mike Chioda is good enough to keep the bad guys at bay. Austin over with a few words for Jericho, who nods. The Chrisses start. Lockup, angling for position, break. Jericho gives Kane a look but keeps an eye on Benoit. Gutshot by Benoit, forearm. Into the ropes, reversed, leapfrog by Jericho, big back elbow. Jericho points to Kane, but goes back to Benoit - stomp, stomp, knife-edge chop, arm wringer, stomping it in like it's WOW, tag to Austin. Benoit backs up. Will they stay technical tonight? Benoit with a kick, European elbow, elbow, into the ropes, Ausitn with a kick, right, right, into the ropes is reversed, Benoit's clothesline is ducked, drop toehold when Austin comes back, floating over into a headlock, but Austin turns over, has the arm and works an armbar. Benoit flips over to escape. Austin tries an arm wringer - Benoit ducks the short clothesline and gives Austin a "no no" finger waggle. "Austin" chant. Lockup, side headlock by Benoit. Chain wrestling sequence to the hammerlock. Grabbing the head again...Austin powers out, but Benoit hits the shoulderblock. Up and over, ducking a clothesline, but Austin lands a spinebuster and hooks the leg...for 2! Arm wringer by Austin, Benoit hooks the arm and muscles Austin back to his corner, where Kane makes a tag. Austin is a sitting duck for the right hand. Another right, right and Austin goes down. Stomp, stomp, stomp, into the ropes, big CAUGHT, single leg trip by Austin, elbowdrop on the knee, another, and another. Austin wants an anklelock, but Kane can easily grab his head. After freeing himself of Austin's grip, Kane repeatedly stomps his leg across Austin's face. Uppercut after they each get up. Into the ropes is reversed - Thesz press! Austin peppers Kane with six rights, then elbows Benoit as he tries to come in to break it up. Austin with the dropped forearm. Calling to Jericho to put up his boot, Austin rams Kane into it - then tags in Jericho. Jericho's been waiting for the chance with Kane - right, right, right, but Kane fires back. They trade punches, and now it's only Kane - big back elbow. Into the opposite corner, sternum first - going for a death suplex but Jericho backflips out and dropkicks back of the left knee - the same knee Austin was working over earlier. Kicking the back of the knee repeatedly, Jericho going for a figure four (!) but Kane kicks him out of the ring before he can even complete the spin. Benoit over but Jericho hits "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine" - unfortunately, when he's back in, Kane is ready with a big boot. Overhand forearm to the back. Head to the buckle, back elbow, tag, uppercut, Benoit with a kick, chop, chop, into the ropes, big knockdown. Death suplex finds the mark. Tag to Kane - stomp, stomp, into the ropes, duck, Jericho flies...but Kane catches him...Jericho tries to make the tag, but he's too far off - Jericho punching Kane, but no dice - Kane casually tosses him to the mat. Elbowdrop MISSES, but Kane manages to recover in time to stop the tag. Shot for Austin as well, which is sure to draw him in as well as distract Chioda...uppercut by Kane, and Jericho staggers over to Benoit, who takes advantage of the opportunity to come in and deliver some kicks. Benoit with a slam as Kane goes up to the third floor - flying clothesline - 1, 2, Austin breaks it up! Tag to Benoit, right by Kane, kick by Benoit, into the ropes, Jericho ducks and hits a flying jalapeno. Kane comes in, drawing over Chioda and make him sure to miss that tag to Austin. Sure enough, Austin is forced back to his corner while Kane and Benoit freely work the doubleteam on Jericho. Austin's all "nuts to that," and goes over to beat up Kane. Chioda actually pulls Austin back with a waistlock - Austin calmly decides that KICK WHAM STUNNER #30 for Chioda - duck, right, right, clothesline out of the ring for Kane, breaking up the Crippler crossface on Jericho, KICK WHAM STUNNER for Benoit, but Kane is back in and he's got Austin in the choke.....but *Jericho* is off the top rope with a missile dropkick to Kane to break THAT up! KICK WHAM STUNNER for Kane. Play his music! Austin wants beer! Jericho Lionsaults Kane but we almost miss it because AUSTIN HAS BEER. Oops, time is up. Hmm, let's call the music the end of the match and rule it.... (no contest 7:25)

I don't really expect too much on a Thanksgiving show, so, holy cow, my expectations were met. The feast stuff was SUPER cheesy but, hey, it gave loads of people TV time. The nonfinish was annoying but that's coasting for you - the action BEFORE the nonfinish was more good stuff from "I'm wrestling again" Austin and I'm glad to see he's going to show up again instead of just last Monday. So what I'm SAYING is the WWF rules so I can easily make excuses to forgive them AND having lots of good good wrestling will overcome a lot of interstitial CRAP. On Monday, if I remember, I'll tell you how the previous sentence can be applied to Nitro - you won't want to miss *that!*

Enjoy the BIGGEST shopping day OF THE YEAR - to REALLY be a rebel, do it by *staying home and shopping online.*

See you over the weekend for WOW!

[slash] wrestling



Copyright (C) 1999, 2000 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications