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Love the recaps, color me a first time, long time (as they say in talk radio).

I appreciate the transcriptions because between teaching on Monday nights and a wife who doesn't like wrestling (but who does like football) I miss RAW more than I can watch it. In spite of your pathetic pandering (a cry for help?), I figured that the least I could do to show my appreciation for your efforts was to send you a present. Even better, an EARLY present, maybe even your FIRST Christmas present of the year.

Here it is: a brand new, only used once ņ of your very own.

I know you could use one because you always mention that the WWF is 'transmitido en espanol (donde sea disponible)' but really mean that the WWF is transmitido en espaņol. I realize that's not a big deal (and only an obsessive-compulsive Spanish-as-a-second-language speaker such as myself would notice), but your ņ also may come in handy this holiday season. Because, unless you're sending New Year greetings to Cher, you'll want to wish any Spanish speaking friends (such as Tinieblas) 'un buen y feliz nuevo aņo' and not 'un buen y feliz nuevo ano' (which means something altogether different).

If I see the mystical ņ that makes ALL the ladies swoon in the next recap, then I'll know that I chose the perfect gift; in short, an awesome gift that is Undertaker AWESOME.

A fan,
Ed Skelton

P.S. Your undying gratitude is acknowledged.

Well, then there's nothing more for me to say!

From Mark Steven Holland: will history repeat itself?

Try this comparison of current WWF top guys with their lookalike and actalike former top competitors. And we know what happened to the WCW of old...

vince mcmahon / vince russo- ego toting, camera hogging, no idea what the fans want anymore who's name is vince

stone cold/goldberg- big time bald champ, turning heel to shock, developing massive screen and story time much the chagrin of fans

rock / booker t- fan favorite who's entertainment is well liked on screen but can't seem to hold a title for longer than a week or two

kane / sid vicious- tall, muscle freak, who shows up every show or two just to give some annoying heel a chokeslam or powerbomb with no real purpose or direction

undertaker/kevin nash- tall, pleather wearing, no seller, backstage political leader who we just want to retire

kurt angle / ric flair- heel, face, heel, face, heel , face, whooooooo.

ddp / wcw ddp- only guy i know who can go from main eventing champ one week to being house show chump the next

christian / wcw lance storm- heel with cheap heat, let's try him with every title and see what sticks with the fans

rob van dam / wcw billy kidman- he's got the moves, the look, and the charisma... now let's give him the push for real, not shove it in the fans faces (rvd- ppv main eventing to barely on tv / kidman- angle with hogan) but then take it away two seconds later.

mick foley / terry funk- we love them and their history so why is it so hard to find a good role for them other than foley- the book shiller and funk the nasty old hardcore champion

chris jericho / sting- pissed off heel.. but where's it going?

big show / lex lugar- please go home. please.

albert / the wall- and the pink slip got lost where?

x-pac / buff bagwell- unmotivated and refuse to job

eddie guerrero / scott hall- um... got a light?

the hurricane / wcw "sugar" shane helms- so are we pushing him or not

stacy keibler / ms. hancock- why are you so hot?

So the only real main eventers / upper midcarders i didn't touch were Scott Steiner and Jeff Jarrett. Listening ,Vince??

When looking at the entire WWF main event force and upper midcarders, i wonder if history will repeat itself... And where is WCW today?

Just my two cents...

Wait....but I LIKE Big Show!

KINGS UPDATE: 6-2, 1.5 GB the Lakers, who I hate. I saw my first Kings game as TBS showed the Raptors/Kings game - and as much as I used to be annoyed by John Thompson, Kevin Harlan has taken the crown away with his UNBELIEVABLE hardon for Vince Carter. "OHHHH MY WHAT AN INCREEEEDIBLE PLAAAAAAY BY MY BOYFRIEND VIIIIINCE CARRRRRTER!" Kevin - DUDE, the Raptors are still DOWN BY TWELVE POINTS despite that semi-incredible individual effort - now how 'bout sperading some love Sacto's way? The big showdown with the Lakers is MONDAY and MAYBE we can finally hand them a loss (but without Webber, probably not - don't let people fool you, it's not like the Kings will get WORSE when Webber's back...)

TV-PG-DLV - One World Leader Attitude - WWF!

Closed Captioned opening credits are Beautiful, People!

PYRO AWAY - Coming to you on tape from the Pepsi Arena in Albany, NY and SAP transmitido en espanol 15.11.1 (taped 13.11) and only three days away from the night that will change it all...or not... SMACKDOWN!

TONIGHT: Angle & Austin team to take on Rock & Jericho! But first...

POINTS TO SELF v. KANE in a nontitle match - I'm gonna go out on a limb and say van Dam pins him. Call me crazy, I know. To his credit, van Dam DOES cower away from the corner flames - as if he'd NEVER seen that before! We're off: lockup, Kane shoves him down. Overhand right, stomp. Right. Into the opposite corner, gutshot, scooped - reps - but van Dam lands on his feet - and hits a dropkick. van Dam right, right, right, right, Kane switches positions in the corner - van Dam ducks - right, head to the gut, superfluous backflip - and Kane decides to clothesline him for wasting all that time. That gets a replay. Uppercut by Kane. Head to the buckle. "RVD" chant. Into the opposite corner - Kane with a delayed backbreaker. Kick to the small of the back - stomp - stomp - Kane puts a boot on the back and all his weight on that boot - referee "Blind" Teddy Long tries to get it out of the ropes but doesn't have much luck. Right to the back - knee in the back - hey, I think he's working the back. Into the ropes, head down, kick by van Dam - right, right, right, off the ropes - caught in a bearhug - and back into the turnbuckle. van Dam DOES sneak in a kick as Kane comes in - to the top rope - somersault cannonball gets 2. Right, right, right, off the ropes, Viscera kick puts him down. Off the ropes - Rolling Thunder gets 2. Kik, right, right, into the opposite corner, somersault...caught...Kane with snake eyes. Kane with a big-time lariat. Into the ropes, big boot. Kane outside...going up for the flying clothesline - but van Dam sprints over and puts him down with an overhead kick. van Dam up top...but Kane is up with a zombie situp - and an uppercut crotches van Dam! Kane's going after him on that corner - could it be? - yes! SUPERPLEX!! Tazz points out that this is how Taker handled Booker T just before van Dam pinned him on Monday. Both men up together - Kane with "Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine," into the ropes, van Dam ducks, van Dam's kick is caught - swung up on the shoulder but van Dam lands on his feet - ANOTHER kick ducked - Kane with the choke...and here's NAPPY T to save him - Kane lets go, walks over and chokes HIM but T hot shots him - meanwhile, van Dam, having occupied Long's attention, climbs up top and lands a kick - 1, 2, 3. Peh. (5:13) AWESOME UNDERTAKER WHO IS AWESOME is out - but T's already hightailed it. Let's play "Rollin'" anyway!

Commentators shill "Iron Chef USA: Showdown in Las Vegas" - I feel less alive now

Test plays with his Xbox (CONTINUITY RULES!) - and ignores the knock at the door. Finally, he says "come in." It's Stacy - is he ready for the six-man match? He was born ready. Stacy says he always thought he was WAY hotter than Edge. After she leaves, Edge admires his reflection and says "Please. Like there was ever any dote." Hey, remember when he and Steph were....wait, no.

Meanwhile, WOW! Rock is in the locker room! HEY! Now so is Jericho! "Well, Rock. You know I just wanted to come in here and talk to you a little bit before our match with Austin and Angle tonight. You know, I heard something kinda funny - remember last Monday night on RAW when Angle and Austin were beatin' ya up in the middle of the ring, and I came down to save you, remember that? You know what's kinda funny is that people actually thought that I was gonna come down to the ring and bash your brains in with a steel chair again. They thought just because you called me those names, what was it that you called me, a Canadian moose hunting, Twisted Sister wannabe, punk(beep)....." "(beep)" "Yeah, that's the one. They thought that just because you called me all those TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE NAMES that I wasn't gonna come down to the ring and rescue you. And believe me, Rock, I did come and rescue you. So I just wanted to assure you, The Rock, and assure all of the millions - AND MILLIONZUH of the Rock's fans! that Y2J is a team player. Y2J is the man who was watchin' your back last Monday night on RAW. Y2J is the man who's gonna watch your back tonight against Angle and Austin - the man who's gonna watch your back this Sunday at Survivor Series, and most importantly of all, Y2J is the man who's gonna lead the WWF to Survival on Sunday." "Ahem. Knock knock." "Excuse me?" Rock knocks the air. "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The Rock." "The Rock Who?" "The Rock, who's gonna lead the WWF into Survivor Series this Sunday. The Rock, who's gonna make sure YOU have a job after this Sunday. The Rock, who is gonna whup YOUR candy(beep). But until then, you and the Rock...same page, same team. You cool with that?" "Am I cool with that? Of course I'm cool with it. I'm cool enough to know that after Survivor Series, I'm gonna beat the hell out of you, Rock, and I'm gonna regain my championship. But I'm gonna wait until *after* Survivor Series. Are you cool with THAT, The Rock?" "Cooler than the other side of the pillow." They shake hands...but Jericho doesn't let go as Rock tries to leave. Instead...he does the brother shake, the handshake, the thumb wrestling, and a whole bunch of other hand moves. Rock pulls his hands back. "What in the blue hell is wrong with you." "What are you talking about, that's my cool handshake." "Cool handshake." "Yeah, I'm down." "Chris Jericho's down!" "Down with the clown!" "You down with the Rock, huh?" "Yes, I am cool! I am the BREEZE." "You gotta like that." "Oh, I gotta like that. I'm like the Fonz." "The Rock feels ya. He feels ya. Cool. All right." "Okay." Handshake - and Rock pulls HIM back - then does the "shooting the duck" handshake - pausing for a drink of water before holstering his gun. "That's cool." He leaves. "That's not cool!"

And now, the WWF Super Smash of the Week, brought to you by Crash Bandicoot: the Wrath of Cortex! From RAW, Kurt Angle drops the US title thanks to some SINISTER PYRO

KING EDGE (with Rob Zombie CD cover) and HARDY BOYZ (with Cheata - and SmackDown! is brought to you by Xbox, truth, and Crash Bandicoot: the Wrath of Gore-tex) v. DUDLEY BOYZ (with Stacy Dudley) and TEST TEST THIS IS A TEST - This just in: the winners of the undisputed titles will keep their jobs no matter what happens in the Winner Take All - that could be interesting, but probably won't. Bubba Ray starts with Edge - at least, I think so...the FOG ROLLS IN. Lockup, jockeying, jostling, side headlock by Dudley...I bet Edge powers out and there's a shoulderlock! Gasp! Off the ropes, Dudley up and over, hiptoss blocked, other hiptoss blocked, flippy flippy by Edge, half nelson legsweep. Tag to Matt - into the ropes, double back body drop - D-Von comes in and gets two right hands. Edge with a free shot for Test - Jeff in - there's the triple suplex on the Dudleyz - Matt covers Bubba Ray and gets 2. Bubba Ray right back with a knee - forearm in the back - tag to Test. Right by Test, right, into the ropes, Hardy ducks, right, right, right, into the ropes is reversed and D-Von puts a forearm in the back...and Test lands a clothesline. Right, right, right, right, right. Head to the turnbuckle, right, back elbow, right, back elbow, kick, kick, standing on the neck - referee "Blind" Mike Chioda pulls him off. Tag to D-Von. Right hand from the open shot. Into the ropes, jumpin' back elbow. Right, right is blocked, Hardy right, right, Dudley with a knee - wants the powerbomb but Hardy escapes and hits a Russian legsweep. Matt makes a leap of faith and makes it to his corner for a tag to Jeff - clothesline, clothesline, off the ropes, ducks a clothesline from Test and hits a flying jalapeno - double leg for D-Von, speaking in tongues double legdrop. Off the ropes - oops, too close to Bubba Ray, and he grabs a handful of blue hair, pulls him out, and runs him into the commentary table. Rolled back in for D-Von - cover - 1, 2, no. "We want tables" chant. Right by D-Von - right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Tag to Bubba Ray - open shot. Measured neckbreaker - 1, 2, no. Hardy put into the ropes, BIG back body drop. Cheapshot on Edge ensures Chioda will be distracted long enough to miss the "headbutt to the graun" spot. D-Von stays in - but tags out to Test right away. Stomp. Into the opposite corner, clothesline follows. Back to the first corner, another clothesline. Tag to Bubba Ray as Hardy collapses. Bigelow-style headbutt. Right hand. To the second rope - DON'T DO IT THE SENTON NEVER WORKS ohhhh he tried it and it didn't work. Sigh. Lita leads the rhythmic clapping - will Jeff make the tag? Tag to D-Von - HOT TAG to Edge! Clothesline! Clothesline! Into the ropes, backdrop! Test in - Edge ducks, right hand. Free shot for Bubba Ray on the apron - hot shot on Test, clothesline for D-Von, Viscera on Test - ducks a swing from D-Von, Edge-omatic gets 2 but Bubba Ray breaks it up - whip into the corner is reversed, Edge down on all fours - Jeff with Poetry in Motion off HIS back - Test in - Edge ducks and puts HIM in the corner - Matt down for Edge to hit a springboard splash! Jeff clotheslines him out...but the pescado MISSES! And now Stacy is up on the apron...Edge manages to step aside the oncoming D-Von - he pulls up short of colliding with her...but that's enough to get Edge set up for the spear - 1, 2, 3. Hey, I think both men were legal! (7:15) Test is quick to deliver the Wotsitolla Boot to Edge. Now *Lita* is in, shoving Stacy off the apron...and into Matt's arms! Matt quickly realises what he's done and drops her, but it's too late to alleviate suspicion - worse, Lita is left alone in the ring to take a Dudley Death Drop while Stacy grabs Matt's ankle to make sure he can't save her. "See you in the cage!" How will Stacy and Lita get in the cage, anyway? Here's your replay - Stacy seemed to enjoy it until taking the hard shot landing on her bottom. Matt covers Lita in the ring - guess Edge and Jeff are taking care of each other, heh heh heh, if you catch my drift.

Survivor Series promo

Jakks Pacific RealSounds Arena ad - wow, get me an Earl Hebner figure! Woot!

MOMENTS AGO! Well, at least THIS time the replay actually shows a bit of the MATCH! But not much

Backstage, a tender moment between a man...and his woman. "I'm sorry - baby, I'm so sorry. Everything that's happened, everything that's been going on recently, the last few weeks, everything's been my fault, I'm sorry, I apologise so much. You know I would never do anything to hurt you baby, here, come on, sit up, sit up. Look, I just wanna tell you...what happened tonight with the will never happen again, it will NEVER happen again. From now on, I'm gonna make sure the Dudleyz never hurt you baby, all right?" Big ol' sloppy MOUTH KISS. They hug...and the camera pans around to see Matt...rolling his eyes? GOLLY I HOPE LITA DOESN'T WATCH THIS TAPE!! Also - pencil it in: Lita's falling off the cage Sunday.

WELL IT'S THE BIG DDP v. DR. TEETH - that's Big Show coming out to Page's music, wearing one of Kanyon's old wigs and a POSITIVELY PAGE plus size jacket - and some fake choppers. "It's me - it's me - it's DDP." Cole does a big fake laugh in case you weren't sure if this was funny or not. "I like me. You like me. I'm gonna help you like you. You see, when the Big Show DESTROYS the Alliance at Survivor Series, that's not gonna be a BAD thing - me losing my job, it's a good thing! Because then, all of you won't have to listen to my annoying voice, or have to look at my big, bright, bogus, fake white teeth, or my plastic smile. And I won't be able to tell you what to do." Bring on Page - keep smiling! Wow, it's like LOOKIN' IN A MIRRAH - nah. Page pops him with a surprise left - right, right, Show shoves him down. Clothesline misses, Diamond Cutter attempt shoved off, well it's a big clothesline. Jacket off, teeth out, ahhhhhhhhhhhTHECHOKESLAAAAAM - 1, 2, 3. (No opening bell - we'll start from the jab and call it 0:29) SHANO is in - there's the "I MUST LEAVE MY FEET!!!!!!!" chairshot. Play "Brand New Money" as Shane hops the barricade and runs off. Show holds his head and positively quivers with anger.

Back in Stephanie's office, Stephanie is watching old videos. In comes Heyman. "You had to see it - did you see what your brother did to the Big Show? It was phenomenal! ...didn't you watch it?" Steph reveals that she's watching the night she was revealed as the ECW Owner...and check out the look on Daddy's face as she saunters by. "Stop. Do you wanna see a look on your father's face? Wait 'til you see the look on your father's face when he realises that someone is out in 'his ring' calling him out." "And who would that someone be?" "That someone would! And the time to do it is right I'll show you a look on your father's face! 'Did you look at my Daddy's face?' I'll show you a look on your father's face that you ain't never seen before! I'll tell him ALL about the things I've always wanted to tell 'im - I'll show you a look on your father's face that you'll never forget! Her father's face..." "GO GET 'EM PAUL!" You know, I have a FUNNY FEELING that "now" actually means "after another ad break"

Here's a Special Video Look at the Undertaker you may have seen on Monday

"Theme Extreme" leads out PAUL E. HEYMAN (with the SAP transmitido en espanol & TV-PG-DLV boxes) to the ring. Well, let's see if it was worth the hype. "In just a few moments, at my leisure, I'm gonna call Vince McMahon out to his ring, in front of his public on a television show that's owned by his grand company. At least, that is, until this Sunday at Survivor Series." "You suck" chant competes with "asshole" chant. Tazz: "Must be a lotta ex-ECW employees!" "I know how much you people appreciate when Shane and Stephanie and I have done - how Shane and Stephanie and I have stood up to the tyranny of Vince McMahon (edit) and the way it is, ladies and gentlemen, is quite simple - the WWF will DIE this Sunday. But don't blame ME for that - it's not MY fault. I'm not the one that RUINED everything that was accomplished by Stone Cold Steve Austin. You see, at Survivor Series, it means so much more than just the personalities that are involved. It's about ending with Vince McMahon has tried to accomplish. I sat there at that desk on Monday, and I listened to Mick Foley. And I agreed with everything that Mick Foley had to say - that the WWF truly does SUCK! Don't boo me. Have you watched the television show lately? Vince McMahon has lost his MIND. The man doesn't have it any more! He's a has been, his ideas are antiquated, his concepts are draconian, and Mick Foley was right, because the WWF is imploding from within! Like every great empire, the WWF is imploding from within. Vince's loyal employees, like Stone Cold, left him; like Mick Foley, want nothing to do with him. Vince's own children want him to burn in hell, and I don't blame 'em. Vince McMahon will see the WWF die this Sunday at Survivor Series. And he has no hope to save his precious company! Vince McMahon has the same chances of saving the WWF as he did of realising his dream of starting a football league..." Well sure enough, invoking the spirit of the XFL will *always* bring out BILLIONAIRE VINCE - Heyman falls to his knees and salaams away. NOW will it get good? Vince encourages him to continue. "I want you to know that I was down on my knees, 'cause I know that you're used to men *puckers* kissin' your ass, Vinny. Every time you walk in the back there, there's Patterson and Brisco, oh what a great idea you had, Vince! (mwah mwah mwah mwah), (mwah mwah mwah mwah). You LIKE men kissing your ass, don't you , Vince, huh? 'cause that's what you're all about - a BILLIONAIRE - the BILLIONAIRE VINCE McMAHON, the creator of sports entertainment! I've waited so long to see you face to face like this. And I've waited so long to tell you to your face that I hate your stinkin' guts. But it's not just me. It's your children that hate your stinkin' guts, Vince. And at Survivor Series, your children are gonna do to you what I have waited my whole life to see somebody do to you, Vince. You are, so help me God, the most disgusting, vile son of a (beep) I've ever seen in my life. You took Hulk Hogan's blood and you built Titan Towers. You STOLE Bret Hart's dream, and with that money bought yourself an airplane with WWF all over it. And you KNOW it, you son of a (beep). You stole Shawn Michaels' smile, took your company public, and made yourself a billionaire. But not a self-made billionaire, like you like to tell everybody you are, oh no. See, you're a billionaire on other people's hard work. Your father - your FATHER, Vince McMahon, your father went around the country and shook the hand of every-- you know I'm tellin' the truth, don't you. You know in your heart I'm telling the truth that your father shook the hand of every promoter in this country and swore to them that he'd never compete against them...that his son would never compete against them. And when your father competed. And with your ruthless, merciless, take no prisoners attitude, you drove everybody out of business, didn't you, Vince. You ran all the competition to the ground and you stole all their ideas, and you made yourself a billionaire out of it. And you know whose ideas you stole the most, Vince? You stole MONE. See I don't give a damn about Don Owen and Sam Muchnick and Jim Crockett, I....I care about what you did to me and my family. How you stole MY dreams, how you stole MY legacy, how you stole everything that ECW represents. Because...while Doink the Clown had a - a green hair and rubber nose, Stone Cold Steve Austin was drinking his first beer in ECW, damn you. While Bobby Heenan and Gene Okerlund were dancing around singing Tutti Frutti, ECW was producing the edgy TV that you named "Attitude." Oh, we got Attitude! You got nothing, man. What you got is my ideas, and you stole MY LIFE - MY MONEY - MY LEGACY!" Paul removes his hat (!) and throws it at Vince. "SCREW YOU! SCREW YOU and your family! I'll tell you something, your own CHILDREN hate your guts, and on Sunday, your children are gonna get even with you, for everything you stole from me, for everything you stole from them. You flaunt your affairs in front of your WIFE - you flaunt your affairs in Playboy for your children to read! You (beep)! Look at Tazz! Look at Tazz! This man was a KILLER - he was a machine! He was a wrestler - a great wrestler, a real man...but wrestling's a dirty word to you, isn't it Vince? Your father built a wrestling company, and you - you hadda have 'sports entertainment.' 'We had to have sports entertainment, ha ha ha.' He was a wrestler, he was a great wrestler, he was a man, and now he's a fat, little, obnoxious colour commentator, and not even a good one! He is a 'sports entertainer.' He is not a *wrestler*, 'cause you made wrestling a dirty word. You made 'wrestling' a dirty word, Vince. What kind of a man are you? What kind of a man takes - takes wrestling and makes it sports entertainment? At Survivor Series, you're goin' down, Vince. I promise you, you're goin' down, and I'm gonna watch it, and your children are gonna lift their leg, standin' over your grave, and we're gonna laugh, and you know what else I'm gonna do, Vince? I'm gonna run your (beep) outta business. And there's not a damn thing you can do about it. I'm feeling GOOD about myself! AGHHHHHHHHH" Oh, I forgot to tell you that Tazz left the broadcast position, snuck up behind Heyman and is now applying the Tazzmission - but you may have already left us by now. Vince has the mic - now comes the punchline. (Unless you consider Heyman tapping the punchline.) "Paul are the epitome of the Alliance because, this Sunday at Survivor Series, the Alliance will CHOKE." Oh man, why not a "YER FIRRRRRRRRRRRRRED?"

I gotta tellya, I was kinda hoping that "shoot" meant "acknowledges that Shane and Stephanie don't really own WCW and ECW" but I guess that's what hearing about it ahead of time'll getcha. It doesn't take much to excite some people, I suppose. Me, I would have been happier with another Steve Blackman/Crash hardcore match. That MAY be why I'm sitting behind a computer writing ABOUT it.

The Xbox Slam of the Week is from RAW! Rob van Dam leaps off the EntertainmentTron but it's not enough - it takes help from Booker T to keep the Taker down for 3, which is not to say van Dam deserves to pin Taker without help, 'cause he doesn't....I'll move on

This half of the show is brought to you exclusively by Xbox!

Your hosts are NOW a pair of kings - LARRY KING replaces Tazz alongside MICHAEL KING COLE. Prepare to experience fifty minutes of shillin', chillin'

NAPPY T v. AWESOME UNDERTAKER WHO IS AWESOME - Taker goes THROUGH THE FLAMES to put a forearm in the back - soupbone, soupbone, soupbone, block, soupbone - T finally fights back - knee, elbow, elbow, into the barricade - Taker with a back elbow, head to the STEEL steps - has Ross told us yet what "Bubba Red" means? Over the barricade into the crowd - Taker with a soupbone, left, soupbone, left soupboe, left, soupbone, left..."it's my damn yard" - soupbone puts him back over the barricade. Head to the commentary table. "You comin' to take somebody's job?" Soupbone. "You in the wrong damn place!" Uppercut. Head to the STEEL steps again. FINALLY we're in the ring and there's the opening bell - and T manages a forearm in the back to turn it back his way. Right, elbow, left, right, left, right, elbow, into the opposite corner...but Taker gets up the bit boot. Soupbone puts him down. Head to the buckle - left soupbone left soupbone left soupbone left, soupbone, soupbone, soupbone, soupbone, soupbone, soupbone...chasing off referee "Blind" Tim White and going outside. "We're sending a message tonight!" Chair in the ring - White grabs it and Taker ain't happy 'bout that. Taker finally piefaces White and grabs the chair - and White calls for the bell. BOOKER T BEATS THE UNDERTAKER!! (DQ 1:07) T has the chair as Taker delivers a soupbone to White - AGAIN Taker uses the big boot to stop T. "Get up!" Choke - chokeslam!! Play his music! Taker goes outside, grabs the top of the commentary table and points to the WWF logo. "WWF forever, FOREVER, FOREVER!"

Courtesy: Weakest Link Productions, Inc. and BBC - here's the entire hour distilled down to just over two minutes - I like to save the Triple H jokes for more desperate recappers

Ivory's pretty excited! "Shut up you silly cow!" Regal promises a new women's champion at Survivor Series - three WWF and three Alliance in a six-pack challenge - Lita, Trish and Jackie - and Ivory, Mighty Molly...and a surprise guest. Regal shoos Ivory away to get ready for their mixed tag with Tajiri & Torrie. "Bloody crackers. (knock) What d'ya want now, you silly tart?" But it ain't Ivory. "Gregory Helms - mild-mannered reporter for the Daily Globe." Regal remarks on his suit and suggests a tailor. Helms has one quick question - can he confirm the existence of an immunity battle royal at Survivor Series? Regal confirms it - he and Foley cooked up a 20-man over the top rope battle royal, the winner of which receives a year free of being fired. " win that you'd almost have to be a, uh, superhero." Regal excuses himself to prepare for his match. "You look like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards, scruffy swine." "A superhero...and I know just the man (removes glasses) for the job (whooooosh)."

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Catch the WWF LIVE! Saturday in Bristol, Sunday the Survivor Series is in Greensboro, Monday is RAW in Charlotte, and Tuesday is Fayetteville!

The Arena of a new Generation! But why focus on a KeyBank logo instead?

Time now for a moment with Austin and Angle. "And I'm still a little (beep) about last Monday night." "You should be." "Nobody gives me the Rock Bottom in the middle of my ring. Do you understand me, Kurt? Kurt?" "Yeah. Yeah, I understand you." "Look at me! Thank you. What, you can't look at me? You're too good for me?" "No, no I can look at you." You got a gold medal, now you don't wanna look at me? Now you're with me tonight or you're against me. It's a tag match - Kurt Angle, Stone Cold Steve Austin against Y2J and the Rock. I need you to look in my eyes and say 'Steve, I am with you, I'm not gonna stab you in the back.'" "I AM with you - I've BEEN with you ever since I joined the Alliance. I'm not goin' anywhere! I'm ready for tonight, and I'm ready for this Sunday at Survivor Series." "Well, I don't know if I trust you. You say you're with me, you used to hug me all the time, you used to just jump...if the wind changes direction, you change!" "Hold on - talkin' about changin', hold on a second! I've seen you change a couple times first - and by the way, I don't know if I can trust you - Vince McMahon said that YOU'RE the one that's jumpin', not me!" "I ain't jumpin' nowhere!" "Oh really?" "Huh? No, I ain't jumpin', why I got reason to jump. I don't need to be a big star. You tryin' to get famous? Is that what you're trying to do. You know what my watch is sayin'? My watch is sayin' maybe it's time for Kurt Angle to use this as a springboard to another platform." "Hold on a second - I don't NEED a springboard, I'm an Olympic Gold Medalist, see?" "You realise how important Survivor Series is?" "Yeah. Yeah, I do." "Do you realise what this is all about?" "Yeah!" "Do you realise how big this is?" "I know how big it is - if we don't win at Survivor Series, I'm out of a job and YOU, Stone Cold Steve Austin, YOU'RE out of a job." "And you can handle the Rock and Y2J tonight?" "Oh, I'm ready for 'em tonight. They think they're so cool. The Rock and Jericho think they're so cool. Chris Jericho thinks he's so cool, but you know what, he's not red, white and blue, Olympic Gold cool. He's...Canadian Cool. Eh? So I am ready for tonight. I'm ready to kick their butts." "And you ain't gonna jump at Survivor?" "How many times I have to tell you? I'm not--" "Promise?" "Promise?" "Yeah." "Pinky swear! What?" "Can you swear?" "Yeah, pinkie swear. I won't go back on that, pinkie swear, I promise!" "You know what kinda swear I'ma..." Austin settles for a knowing look instead of the middle finger...and they take off.

Meanwhile, Regal catches up to Torrie Wilson. "Ah, Ms. Wilson. I just thought I'd come and tell you that although you and Tajiri are going to get a sound beating at the hands of me and Ivory in moments to come, and that Tajiri is going to get the thrashing of a lifetime at Survivor Series...being an English gentlemen, I'd just like to wish you both the very best of luck." "You know, I used to think you were an English gentleman, but then I realised you are just a pompous ass." "How charming. Well, after Survivor Series, not only will Tajiri be out of work, he'll be incapable of working after the bloody thrashing I'm going to give him! But you, on the other hand....yes, you...if you're seeking employment, I'm sure there's always a...position that I can find for you. Bye bye!" Hey, I'm as surprised as YOU are that Torrie seemed to catch that subtlety!

Look! It's WWF New York! You can watch Survivor Series there on sunday!

TAJIRI & TORRIE SAMUDA v. COMMISSIONER REGAL & IVORY in squeaky clean intergender action - bad guys rush the good guys, Tajiri tossed, Torrie throttled. Choke on the second rope until referee "Blind" Chad Patton is back in to stop it. Wow, Ivory's top didn't last long - whip, reversal, kick by Ivory, YEAH THE TOP'S OFF WOOOOOO - Blowout gets 2. BRA BRA BRA - hairpull snapmare by Ivory, there's another one, kick in the back. THEY'RE CALLED BOOBS, ED standing on the neck arm pull - off the ropes, legdrop - 1, 2, no! Man I thought that move ALWAYS worked. Irish whip into the corner, boot up by Wilson - clothesline, scoop...and a slam. Leg is hooked - 1, 2, no. Into the ropes is reversed, Torrie ducks the clothesline and hits the Crappiest Handspring Elbow in the World. With every move, Ivory clutches her bosom to make sure they don't fly out of her bra. Finally, Regal gets the tag - so does Tajiri. Kick caught, Tajiri's kick lands. Into the ropes is reversed, Slightly Less Crappy Handpsring Elbow gets 2. Into the corner, reversed, kick up by Tajiri - Regal runs in - Tajiri up and hooking the Tarantula...for 4. Ivory in - GREEN MIST - but Regal strikes from behind - hung up on the top rope...and bringing Torrie in the hard way. Regal grabs her hair...talks some trash...double underhook into a HOLY CRAP Torrie almost lost her head until remembering to tuck for the powerbomb. REGAL STRETCH ON TORRIE! LOOKIT HER STREEEEEEETCH anyway, Patton's decided Regal's spent too much time on the illegal man - err, woman, and calls for the bell (DQ 3:08) They play Regal's MIDI one more time. Sadly, we get no more long, loving looks at Ivory's cleavage in this segment.

Survivor Series spot

Hey, want to buy that Puddle of Mudd "Control" song which happens to be the theme from Survivor Series? Here's what the "Come Clean" CD looks like!

Commentators thank us for all our support...just in case this is the last time we ever see 'em. See, it's little things like THAT that make you wonder - not over-the-top "shoot" speeches.

The graphic don't lie - Winner Take All at Survivor Series!

Let Us Take You Back - Vince suggests a Winner Take All match at Survivor Series - Shane accepts - Kurt Angle turns - Chris Jericho and Rock have trouble getting along - Vince announces Steve Austin's imminent defection - Austin and Angle have trouble getting along - Undertaker rallies the troops - now you hit the music - I'll hit the FUHFUHWID - say, is it just me, or are there clips from earlier in the night in this piece? You know, it just isn't a WWF special video look if it doesn't have that succession of five or ten clips of people making an "ahhhhh" face in a row.

VINCE - IS - WALKING! "Excuse me, Vince - Vince? May I have a moment of your time, please?" "Howard [Finkel]...make it quick." "All right. I just want to let you know, from the bottom of my heart, I feel very confident that this Sunday at Survivor Series our company, the WWF, is going to prevail. However, in the event, if we are not successful this Sunday and we're all out of a job this Monday, I just want to tell you, for over twenty years, with you and this company, it has been one hell of a ride, thank you so very much for everything, Vince." Tears and hugs. "You've been with me for over twenty years." "Yes." "And since that time, Howard, when you began, I see your pants are too short now, you can't even button up your vest, you've lost all your hair...and now you're saying in the event that the World Wrestling Federation won't be successful. Howard, the World Wrestling Federation WILL be successful this Sunday at Survivor Series - but keep one thing in mind. Don't EVER touch me again." Howard makes the "I'm so STOOPID" face.

Austin and Angle are WALKING! Austin tries to get Angle to hold his vest - Angle gives it back to him.

CHRIS THURSDAY JERICHO (with Xbox presents Survivor Series!) and THE ROCK v. KURT ANGLE and STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN - Angle goes ahead and lets Austin rush Rock on his own...and we're underway! Rock right, Austin right, Rock, Austin, Rock, Austin, Rock, Austin, Rock, Rock, Rock, Austin with a knee. Austin right, right, right, chop, chop, right, right, right, "Rock E" chant, right, into the ropes, head down, Rock with a swinging neckbreaker! Clothesline! Rock wants Rock Bottom now but Austni elbows out - KICK WHAM shoved off - Rock with a back elbow. Stomp. Chop. Chop. Chop. Chop. Into the ropes is reversed, Rock ducks, but Austin hits the Austin press as he comes off the ropes, nine quick rights, off the ropes with the Fuck You elbow - 1, 2, Rock kicks out. Austin runs the knee brace across Rock's face. Another knee in the face. Elbow to the back of the head. Rock comes right back - right, right, right, into the ropes, Angle makes a blind tag, Rock with a clothesline on Austin...then runs over to Angle and brings him in the hard way - Samoan Drop! Angle STILL had the medals on...well, 'til now. Held open for the tag - open chop by Jericho, chop, chop, chop, into the ropes is reversed, Angle tries the belly-to-belly but Jericho elbows out - Jericho ducks the right and hits the flying jalapeno! Elbow, chop, Angle rakes the face to turn it around. Right hand by Angle, right, into the opposite corner, but Jericho gets the boot up - second rope - missile dropkick! 1, 2, Angle kicks out. Right by Jericho, right, right, into the ropes is reversed, and Angle buries the knee in the gut. Tag to Austin - Angle right, right, Austin chop, right, knee, elbow to the back of the neck, head to the buckle, opening him up for the chop, what?, chop, what?, chop, open-handed slap - Jericho fires back, Austin right, Jerichop chop, chop, Austin to the eyes. Jericho into the ropes, ducks, ducks, crossbody by Jericho for 2. Chop, chop, into the ropes, reversal, Austin pushes Jericho over the top - but he lands on the apron! Running to the top - off the top with a tomahawk that lands! Dueling suplex attempts - Jericho shoves him to Rock for a right, pinballing to Jericho, back to Rock, Jericho with a clothesline - 1, 2, Angle breaks it up. Austin back to the eyes again - knee in the back. Tag to Angle. Held open for the kick. Right by Angle, right, into the ropes, head down, Jericho kicks - chop, chop, into the corner, off the ropes but Angle ducks the clothesline - Angle wants the Olympic Slam but Jericho laces the leg - into a legtrip - going for the Walls! but Austin runs the apron - Jericho ducks the clothesline, springboard dropkick CONNECTS and Austin fals to the floor! But Angle is free - and he's got time - Jericho takes a German suplex. Angle takes charge. Head to the buckle, right, right, right, right, right, right,n stomp, stomp, referee "Blind" Earl Hebner pulls him off. Front face, tag, Austi with an open shot to the ribs. Chop, chop, right, knee, right, into the ropes, head down, Jerich with a kick...but Austin catches him off the ropes and hits the spinebuster. Leg is hooked - 1, 2, JUST gets out. 1, 2, Jericho kicks out again. Angle wants the tag but Austin would rather choks him on the second rope - no soone has Hebner pulled him off that Angle is grabbing him from the floor - right hand. Jericho manages a small package for 2, but Austin is right back on him with a lariat. Into the ropes - wants the Austin press again but Jericho catches the legs and shoves him down - he wants the Walls....but Angle is in with a forearm before he can get it. Rock wants in but it ain't happening. Angle gets a tag - stomp, into the ropes, big-time clothesline. 1, 2, Jericho rolls the shoulder. Angle grapevines the leg and clamps on a headlock. Jericho fighting back to his feet...elbow, elbow, European elbow, chop, into the ropes is reversed, but Jericho counters the knee with a rollup...1, 2, no! Angle goes behind - but Jericho rolls through, grabs the ankle - and puts on the anklelock! Angle manages to roll out. Whip into the ropes reversed by Angle, but he runs into the back elbow - Jericho to the second rope - wants the double sledge but Angle catches him in a belly-to-belly - 1, 2, no! Front face, tag to Austin - open kick to the ribs. Austin sits Jericho on top - chop, open-handed slap, chop, slap, climbs to the second rope, pounds on the back...but Jericho STILL has enough to shove him off! Missile dropkick - FINDS THE MARK! Both men are down - will Jericho finally make the tag? Rock is itchin'...Austin grabs an ankle...Jericho with an enzuigiri and AGAIN they're both down! Austin again tries to grab the ankle - Jericho reaches - Austin pulls him back. Death suplex - no, Jericho flips out - and hits the Breakdown on Austin! Austin looks for a tag - problem is, he's backing into the wrong corner - Rock with a big right hand! Austin retreats to the correct corner - tag to Angle - HOT TAG TO ROCK! Block, right, right, right, right, into the ropes, reversed, duck, flying clothesline! Gutshot, DDT! Austni back over - block, right, right, right, right, right, right, NOW KISS THAT RIGHT and Austin is down. Angle sent over the top to the floor. Spinebuster - into the sharpshooter! Hey, Austn's not legal - Hebner doesn't notice, oh well. Angle in to break it up with a forearm - now Rock is in the ANGLELOCK! Jericho finally sucks it up...and makes the save with a dropkick! Angle rolls outside and Jericho goes out after him - head to the commentary table, right, reversed - and Angle pulls him into a belly-to-belly. Meanwhile, Austin has been stomping a mudhole into the Rock. Angle joins him in the ring - stomp on the ankle, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp. Austin has a chair in the ring. Angle stomps again - chair to the ankle - chair - chair - Hebner gets the full shove out of the ring by Austin while Angle goes back to stomping. Hebner's called for the bell (DQ 12:53) but they're not done - Austin places Rock's ankle in between the back and the seat of the chair - Angle holds him down as Austin climbs to the seccond rope - but AWESOME UNDERTAKER WHO IS AWESOME is out to make the save!! He catches Austin off the corner in a choke - CHOKESLAM!! NAPPY T is in - and Angle is spared a chokeslam when T gives him a Harlem sidekick. HOLY CRAP ANGLE GOT HIM UP IN THE OLYMPIC SLAM!!!! Jericho back in - clothesline for T - right by Angle, right by Jericho, right, right, and clotheslining him out - bulldog for T - and the Lionsault! Now ROB VAN DAM is out with a spinning heel kick for Jericho - vaults to the top - FIVESTAR FROG SPLASH! KANE in - choke for van Dam - CHOKESLAM!! Ah hell, here's SHANO with his "I MUST leave my feet!" chairshot but now WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW punches the chair into Shane's head. *Angle* back in - HE GAVE BIG SHOW THE OLYMPIC SLAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The straps are down - but Rock is behind him - ROCK BOTTOM! OHHHH KICK WHAM STUNNER - that's the last one. The last man standing is Stone Cold Steve Austin. BILLIONAIRE VINCE appears at the top of the ramp - Vince smiles...and AUSTIN SMILES BACK! Ross: "My GOD what's gonna happen Sunday?" Vince keeps smiling...and Austin stops. Credits are up and it's a good sign if we've made it this far without anybody saying "Montreal" - we'll see ya at the pay-per-view!

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