|WWF Tough Enough by Shane Spear
WWF TOUGH ENOUGH #6
Welcome again ladies and gentlemen. I was totally overwhelmed and excited by the abundance of e-mails wondering where I was last week. Than of course I opened them and found out some guy with bad English was just sending me a virus. What a pain in the ass. Seriously, if you have nothing better to do with your time than to fuck around with other people's computers, you should really take the famed long walk off a short pier. If you happen to read this, feel free to e-mail me anything you got, because you're obviously nothing more than a one horse tool who couldn't, even in two tries, make a good enough virus to beat:
B: Any person with an IQ over 45 who doesn't open strange attachments.
That being said, let's review Tough Enough. Last week I wasn't here, but that big oaf Darryl got kicked off, to the joy of many. Now I've told you all this on many occasions, reading off that the editing on MTV reality shows SUCKS, and if you do one thing wrong, your ass WILL pay for it in the form of the show. Tough Enough is only 30 minutes long and they have to keep you interested by setting a story-line EVERY show. Darryl may have been a heavy ego type of guy, but we really shouldn't judge him on less than about 100 total minutes of viewing him. Or should we. Reading off Darryl's act riot, you can see he mouths off to people like Tazz, jokes around when it inapporiate, and generally pisses people off. Also, athletically he really didn't seem to cut it in ANY of the shots we got to see. Again, this may be slight of camera and editing, but poor Darryl never seem to grasp the concept of actually doing the wrestling bumps.
Was Darryl ego driven on the show? Yes.
Was Darryl a bad wrestler? If we are to believe editing...yes.
Was Darryl a bad person? We'll never know. We've seen five episodes of TE. 150 minutes - commercials = About 100 minutes. Spilt that among the other and we know about 40 minutes of Darryl AT THE MOST.
Am I better than Darryl? Well if we are keeping score about how many people have ever seen and heard of me as compared to Darryl, I can say that I'm only known for some writing and message board lurking. Like him or not, Darryl was a huge part of the first five episodes of TE and I dare say was responsible for some of their record breaking ratings. In the end, anybody on the internet who said that he sucks without a doubt and had any REAL hate for the guy needs to back up and place their life into perspective.
But what the hell do I know? The mob has spoken. Darryl sucks, and the dead moose walking has walked the green mile. Adios.
ASK CHRIStian: Well, this guy claiming to be CHRIS e-mail'd me last week. I of course found out a great way to spin it around and make a great cheap gimmick for it. You'll have to use your imagination and hope it's the real CHRIS, and not some internet loser, but if you have a question about Tough Enough for him, e-mail me at whatever address this site posts for me, and I'll posts some answers from him next week.
Whoopie! Enough pre-report crap, here we go!
Tough Enough #6
We open at Trax to AL Snow telling the troops that hopefully the cut of Darryl will provide motivation. Shadrick has some push with push-up while Al stands over him. He has to stand him to catch his breath, but then goes right back to it. Shadrick is scared about being cut, just as much as last week. Al gives pointers to Shad while he's doing his bumps. Jackie likes Shad because of his attitude and personality. Big remarks that he's getting better, which is debatable.
Tazz is at the starting point of a half boston crab to show Josh how the offensive wrestler pivots to make a wrestling hold. Tazz then turns him over, instructing him how to breathe at this time. Tazz then corrects me, calling it the half Boston prayer. Al Snow points out that Josh is at a disadvantage because he's really short and a bitch. Everybody then works out the crab.
My new friend CHRIStian has some trouble falling on a bump into the crab. Tazz point out to everybody that he fall on his arms, and if he keeps it up, he's going to break his arms (himself, not Tazz.) The point he's making is that with all the practice, they should be able to fall anywhere and take it right. Tazz: "I could be in a goddamn supermarket and slip on the milk in the frozen food section, and I swear to God I'll land the right way." CHRIS is now doubting himself about his talents.
Nidia is on the phone talking about how morale is down. Other rookies are on the phone laying out the same complaints. Soon it was time for dinner. Apparently it was a Chinese food [slash] strip joint place, because you see them eating then all of a sudden you hear Nidia talking about how Big bought her a lap dance, and how the place was run by transvestite. I think we missed a LOT here. Hmm, Nidia is in quite some interesting positions here. But as long time fans of Real World know...MTV + Censor friendly Homoerotic crap = ratings. Greg says he's never seen anything that exotic, even on TV. Liar. So they (being the Transvestite or whatever) told him to strip. Greg: "What am I going to say? No?" Me: "Yes."
The fun continues when MAVEN, the one guy I could count on, dresses up like a woman and dances on some table. DAMMIT!!! WHERE THE HELL IS DARRYL WHEN WE NEED HIM??? So anyway I can even watch this crap, so if you want more details read somebody else's report.
FINALLY! back to wrestling. Shadrick is hurting Tori, so she tells him to stop hurting her. He does it again, and Al Snow and Tazz take him aside. Keep in mind this is on accident, he's not trying to hurt her. Tazz big moment in the pep talk is to not pull a Darryl, and to prove that he wants it.
Maven is talking on the phone about his escapades to his mom. His mom was happy about it. His mom DOES him a (beep) though. Using it in context, I have to assume that (beep) meant faggot or queer or some other homo-mean term. Anyway, so he get a kick out of them and he and his mom say it about six more time. Bring on the comedy bars guys!! Here's Maven and Mom. Jesus.
Meanwhile, Big brings by copies of Smackdown and RAW (they don't have CABLE?!?!) CHRIS points out how they were watching more of the tech side of the show now as opposed to being entertained. Big points out that Josh is the biggest fan of the show, but he's not even present. Everyone tells Big that Josh feels he has to watch it alone. They say he likes the matches, but hates the storylines. Big calls Josh into the room. Josh won't tell the group why he hates watching it with other, but he's glad to tell us. Josh hates the fact that people watching with him tend to points out the little mistakes that they make and laugh about a bad bump or whathaveyou. It pisses him off because said person obviously has never been in the ring. You have to assume that it was a dig towards the internet recappers as well. It's a good point. He's still a midget bitch, but it was a good point.
MAVEN NEVER GETS OFF THE PHONE. Oh wait, his mom has cancer. I'm sorry. His mom is very important to him. This came out of nowhere and I am as confused as you why they stuck it in, but it'll probably be way important in a future show.
There's a 24-hour notice about the next cut, so do everything right to impress the trainers. Lots of bumping going on, with music in the background. Shadrick fucks up another move, and Al tells him to go sit his ass down. Again, this may be other thing with the editing, but in this case I doubt it. Darryl NEVER was forced to take a seat, because if he was, they would've shown it. Shadrick is in DEEP trouble now. Jackie tries to console him, and I really can't tell you why. In the second episode Jackie said she was going to be tough, and a bitch, and on and on, but she's devoting a lot of energy to someone who is really getting frustrated about the wrestling and the show. Snow gives him a pep talk and gets him back in the ring.
CHRIS has been having trouble with flip overs in the hip toss. It seems that he's taking a little bunny hop before and hurting himself falling. Al's solution? Stick Shad in there!!! AL: "Now you know what you have been doing to everybody else."
Josh and Taylor wonder who's going to be next. Shad has always dreamed of being a pro wrestler. At Trax it's time to make the cut, and big has the same pictures from last week, sans Darryl. Tori, Jackie, and Snow are also there:
At the house, it's the morning of the cut and everybody eats and heads to Trax. They are let loose to the lockers to see the red tag. Nothing for Taylor, nothing for CHRIS. Shadrick got the red tag. So long partner, and all I can say is I had better not get any e-mail about all these black guys getting voted off. He hugs everybody, including Jackie who cried in his arms. Tori seems nears tears. Al isn't. He has his parting speech to the remaining group and puts Shad's chair over with the others.
GREAT episode, except for the WEIRD strip joint place.
Next time Gadget! NEXT TIME!!: Kurt Angle (or Kurt Engle if you are my captioner,) stops by. They goes to the Bahamas, and the midget bitch cries that Harvard is picking on him.