|WWF Tough Enough by Shane Spear
WWF TOUGH ENOUGH #7
I'd like to thank all of you who found time to write to me. It turns out that a lot of people called me on my remarks about the two black guys getting voted off black--er--BACK to back. Let me first say again that I'm in no way racist. Trust me, I dislike all the contestants equally, except Josh of course. It may see a little weird with the sudden cut of diversity, but you gotta believe the editing (if you can't believe THAT, what can't you believe?!?) The show says that Darryl and Shad WERE the two worst contestants of those remaining. You also have to remember that if Bobbie Jo and Victoria hadn't quit, a woman probably would've been eliminated last week. Darryl, whether he's black, white, orange, whatever, was an OAF on the show and pissed the people who matter off, therefore shooting down any racial conspiracies.
Also, I ran into my old buddies from my message board days at Wrestlingtalks. If you like fresh opinions about wrestling and other...stuff, be sure to make a stop by the new digs at wf2.cjb.com. Go nuts. Have a BLAST!!
...Oh, and be sure to visit *insert whatever site you're seeing this on*'s message board too! It's spiffyerific! And I'm nothing if not a sellout.
Finally, let's see I can find in the ol' filler box. Tonight I'd like to issue a quest to all of you. Now we've seen Al Snow, HHH, Kurt Angle, Patterson and Tazz. If you saw the preview, you know the Hardy Boyz are on next week. But who will be the NEXT guest star?!? If you can correctly predict the next guest star, (or cheat and look it up on some spoiler site, hell if I care...) then I will treat the winner to a copy of the OFFICIAL UNOFFICIAL TOUGH ENOUGH CD!! Enjoy some of THESE hits with the words "Tough" and "Enough" in them!
Tough as Snails
Good luck, and let's boogie!
Tough Enough #7
We start with previous clips focusing on Paulina's leg. If you remember, that happened on the first legit week of TE when they were all wrestling for the cone in the mud. It continues with current clips of the same. Jackie and Tori help Paulina at one point and Al Snow asks her to sit down so she can at least watch while she has the bad wheel.
Through telephone conversations we learn that next Monday two rookie will earn the chance to have visitors. Next day at Trax, Al Snow announces a special guest. Our midget bitch friend is doing jumping jacks then he turns around and Kurt Angle is standing there. As there was for the other stars, there's a clip of various things that he's done. They show his work against Spike Dudley, The Rock, and his huge moonsault from the top of the cage from Raw a few months ago.
"As all of you know, my name's Kurt Angle, and if you watch me on TV, my character portrays the three I's: Intensity, Integrity, and Intelligence. I was in amataur wrestling for almost twenty years, and I was a six-time national champion on the Olympic level, and in 1996 I won the Olympic gold medal. And I remember in 1996, Vince and Linda McMahon asked me to come up to Stamford Connecticut to the WWF Headquarters. And I went up there with the attitude that I had be taught all my life--that pro wrestling was fake. It's a joke. I went into Vince McMahon's office and he offered me a multi-million dollar contract. And I didn't laugh in his face, but inside I was laughing. So I went home and called my agent, and together we ripped up that contract, because I didn't understand what it was all about.
"Two years later I'm sitting at home and I turn on Raw is War. I'm watching these superstar perform, and after the first one I was hooked. Not because of the storylines, but because of the adrenline. I realized that these people are real athletes. I realize what you do now, you entertain people to a higher degree. I think that's what I'm addicted to."
Kurt watches the rookies perform, and when they stop he asks Josh to put him in a single-leg takedown. He does so, and Kurt talks about how when you get to the ropes you should be thanking God you are there. All in all the point is to show more emotion to sell the pain.
Later, Kurt has a Manila envelope and says there is one more I, then offered the envelope to Harvard and it turns out that the extra I stands for "Island." They are going to Paradise Island in the Bahamas. Angle shakes their hands and they are underway.
Packing is EXCITING!! You also had to know this trip was coming, because EVERY MTV reality show always gets a special "bonus" trip. In between the packing, the rookies ask such dumbass questions as what ocean the Bahamas are on. Harvard, instead of hanging out with everyone in the house, prefers to spend time with himself. Not in THAT way! I mean with a good book. In this case it's The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. Take a look, it's in a book, on the Reading Rainbow.
Now there's about four people in the living room, and they STILL can't figure out what ocean they are going to. Harvard tells us they're always yakking about something not important. These guys? Get out. Harvard is still talking, but I'm distracted by Josh dying his hair. Now he wants to be a *NSYNC midget?!?
Paulina comes in with a MRI later. Maven needs to be told what an MRI is, but the point is that Paulina is waiting to decide whether she can continue or not.
We are in the Bahamas on some ocean and MTV decides to play some crappy canned island music that you hear on like cruise infomercials. They stay at the luxerous Something Resort. They see Jellyfish, and Dolphins. Well at least the cameraman does. He's on vacation too I assume. By the way, don't feel bad. There's obviously nothing to can do in the Bahamas that you can't do at your nearest water park.
Dear Lord in heaven. Josh was swindled into buying a recorder. You know, that stupid piece of shit "instrument" that we all played in second grade? That's the one. Anyway, he can play Hot Cross Buns on it. This impresses all his buddies on the show and they laugh accordingly as say nice things about him on the TV. All expect Harvard, who calls him childish. I have a new favorite. Greg talks about Harvard's loner attitude, and they all laugh at him being by himself. Or something.
Big somehow got to go on this vacation too. Why is HE on vacation. Doesn't he have a real job, other than babysitter? Big and Paulina talks about her bum leg, and Big says she has a decision. In the hotel room later, Big decides to have the drawing now. He draws out the names from the hat. It's Josh and Greg. Harvard is happy Greg got pulled because he can make an offer to get his girlfriend out because Greg's has a surgery appointment.
The bitch starts playing his recorder again. "Playing" means just sitting there blowing out two notes back to back rapidfire, making the loudest, most annoying noise ever. Harvard lays on the couch, reading a magazine, and dreaming of shoving the recorder up Josh's ass.
Breakfast in the Bahamas. Greg has noticed (again) that Harvard is a loner. A clip shows Harvard getting locked out of the room and everyone takes their sweet time opening the door. Harvard was a little drunk, and when Josh made a comment about how he made an ass of himself, Harvard gets in Josh face. Brave Josh later tells the camera that he'll be glad to piss him off again sometime. Way to go!!!!! I swear, if the DVD has removed footage of Harvard and Tazz kicking his ass for over an hour, I will buy fifty of those suckers and mail them to friends.
Everyone loved there trip to the Bahamas, and they show it by everyone using their Foot Locker towel in the most intentional way possible. Then it's on back to CT.
As an update, we see Harvard on the phone talking to his girlfriend about bringing her up. Greg is on the phone next. Uh oh, his girlfriend's appointment was canceled! Now he has to try and haggle it back from Harvard. Greg goes to him, and Harvard tells him in the nicest, but smuggest way he can, no. He told Greg that he should've checked ahead about the appointment before selling him the rights to visitors. Harvard also says he doesn't want to call his girlfriend and tell her she can't come because of somebody else's mistake.
Paulina took her MRI results to the doctor in town for an evaluation. At Trax, Al Snow laughs at Josh's "sunblister" that he got at the Bahamas. Snow later takes a HUGE piece of tape and draws a kitty cat on it to symboling that he's an animal in bed. He then snickers with us all and the scene fades out.
Paulina saw a couple of doctors. The first doctor told her saw has a break and a tear. Big tells this to the other trainers. The trainers don't want her to push it, so Big told her to sleep on it. That night she tells Harvard that it doesn't need surgery, which is good. The next day at Trax, Paulina withdraws.
Paulina hugs Al, then all the trainers and the girl roommates, who all cry. They head out to the car where Big thanks her, and she leaves for the last time, along with a LOT of people's pick for the female star. Fade out.
Next Week: The Hardys show up, and there's only two girls left. Enjoy, and until next week.
Call Triple S 'cause that's my name, that name again is Triple S.