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WWE Velocity by The Cubs Fan




TV 14DLV Entertainment KOTRs of the past - or at least some of them (:57) open fireworks - in Cole's world, the block of WWE programming is just starting now.

Tajiri vs Albert - your announcers are Tazz and Cole - where's Al? Later, Chavo vs Jamie for the Cruiserweight Title. Did Albert lose a "never wrestle on Smackdown" match and I missed it? Albert starts with a kick, right, back into the corner, shoulder, shoulder, shoulder. Right. Right. Corner whip, clothesline misses and Tajiri hits the reverse thrust kick - Albert barely feels it. Hard kick to the rib, hard kick to the rib. Those shots are only angry him, supposedly. Whip, Tajiri slides under, kick is caught, enziguri knocks him to one knee. Tajiri off the announce ropes, right into a big clothesline. Off the ropes, splash. One two pulled up. Tajiri isn't in Albert's league. Knee choke. Run back first into the corner, run back  first into the other corner, running powerslam one two shoulder up. Surfboard. Really more of a standing boot to the back instead of a knee. Announcers talking about Jeff vs Undertaker. Elbow drop to the back. Well, he has picked a body part. "Get up! Get up!" He doesn't, so Albert picks him up - press slam, but Tajiri climbs down the back, sunset flip is blocked, Albert tries punching but Tajiri moves and he gets mat. Albert's punches are ducked, kick to the rib, kick to the rib, punches, corner whip, reversed, Albert charge but no one's home, enzuiguri one two big kickout. Tajiri gets knocked up to the second rope, so he stays there - slap blocked, Tajiri hits his own, Tornado DDT but he's pushed off but he lands on his feet, duck a clothesline, kick to the ribs, there's the running Tornado DDT one two NO. Setting up for the KO kick but Albert blocks it - double choke, but the Baldo bomb is escaped, Tajiri ducks one punch but gets clubbed from the back of the head. Whip, scissors kick but Tajiri grabs the ropes, then comes off of them with a forearm that does little. "Is that all you got?" Tajiri off the ropes again and right into a boot. Well, Albert isn't stupid. Double underhook hanging suplex. Albert going up for the second rope Vader splash but he gets knees - KO KICK! One two three. (3:56) Cole points out that Albert could've ended it early and it cost him. Coming up, Chavo vs Jamie (2). Still to come, Edge returned. But next, Hurricane vs Christian.

just between you and me - HE'S COMING. (:20)

Hurricane (w/ads) vs CHRISTIAN - Cole: "The Hurricane looks a bit naked" - well, he was talking about him being without the belt but still. Was this bad refereeing angle inspired by the World Cup? I'm thinking not. Tazz is singing Kenny Rogers. Not the pitcher. Christian with a headlock, off the ropes, shoulderblock, POSE. Not five seconds. Maybe like 2. Hurricane rubs his eyes in disbelief - oh wait, no, he's throwing a tantrum! Christian, angered, tries an elbowdrop and connects, but only with the mat. Whip, reversed, HurriMonkey Flip. Off the ropes, HurriFlying forearm one two no. Christian with a kick, corner whip, charge into a HurriBack Elbow. Hurricane climbing the HurriRopes but Christian trips him up. This week, Edge and Christian were the greatest tag team of all time - which probably tells you what Christian's future holds. Suplex on to the ropes, right, off the ropes, shoulderblock knocks Hurricane off the apron and into the barrier. Yelling, Christian out, throwing Hurricane in, in stomps, rights on the mat. He's warned up about the closed fists. Gutbuster! One two no. Christian somewhat distracted by taunting from the front row. Hard kick to the ribs. HurriPunches to fight back, but one misses, back suplex, Hurricane lands on his feet and there's the HurriRunning Neckbreaker. Pose. HurriPunch. HurriRight. HurriGoozle! Christian elbows out in time, off the ropes, into the ugly HurriClothesline. Tazz: "Kinda of a bodyline - not a clothesline, a body line." Hurricane misses a clothesline, Christian with the reverse facelock and threatening the reverse DDT backbreaker, but Christian punches his way free - HURRISUPERKICK! HurriImprobable Enzuiguri! One two no. Christian gets back control some how, throws Hurricane out but Hurricane lands on the apron. While Christian takes a break, Hurricane grabs his cape. Now Christian sees him, punch is HurriBlocked, HurriRight, throwing the HurriCape on Christian to blind him, going up the HurriRopes, HurriFlying Cross Body one two no! HurriSlam but Christian goes behind, setting up for the Unprettyer, but HurriReverse Rollup one two no Christian reverses it, pulling the tights one (grabs the ropes for even more leverage) two three! (4:08) Grabbing the ropes AND the tights, that's dedication.

Cole makes a total change in tone from the voice over to the live bit, ha. Hype for Divas Undressed - oh no, Smackdown clips. (:37) Still to come - Jamie vs Chavo! (3) The Cruiserweight division is exclusive to the Smackdown Brand! Still to come, Edge returns.

RAW Highlights - this is to set up the Cena/Angle highlights, I suppose. (7:09) Still to come, Jamie vs Chavo! (4) Edge returns!

Stacker 2 Deacon Debut of Thursday

Billy Kidman vs Funaki - Circle. Lockup, Funaki with a hammerlock, Kidman with the snap mare reversal. Kidman's clothesline misses, hiptoss blocked, knee to the gut, flip out (because this is a cruiserweight match), ducks the clothesline, waistlock, Funaki back elbows out and goes off the ropes, Kidman with a dropkick. Cole actually called him "Sho" here, which means - well, I dunno. Pescado. Funaki thrown back in - Kidman with a shoulder to gut, flip in, turn around and cross body at Funaki, but Funaki goes down and pulls the top rope with him - Kidman goes to the floor. Funaki slides out, stomp, thrown in, whip, back elbow. Pose on the ropes. Fans aren't happy. Suplex. One two no. CHINlock. Kidman drawing from the fans (who don't care) and battling up - right right right, corner whip, reversed, Kidman kips up into a spinning headscissors. Right, whip, reversed, sunset flip but Funaki rolls out of it - big dropkick to the face. Slow to cover one two no. One two no. Cole's called Funaki a veteran twice now, I wonder what that's about. Nothing sweeter than trying to figure out the hidden messages in commentary on Sho Funaki. Funaki pick shim up but Kidman fighting with punches. Funaki with an eye rank to break that up, slam, second rope, I guess that was a senton try though it wouldn't have hit even if Kidman didn't roll. Exchange of punches. Kidman wins, corner whip, rebound clothesline is ducked, Kidman kick is caught, enziguri is not, one two no. Corner whip, reversed, Funaki charges in and hits a forearm - bulldog out one two no. Cole called him Sho again. Big DDT. Tazz doesn't watch RAW. Funaki to the top rope, but Kidman catches him there with punches. Going up to join him - top rope 'rana! One two three! (4:00) You get no Shooting Star Press on Velocity! Still to come, Jaime vs Chavo (5) But next, Edge returns.

Edge's injury and return. (5:03) Coming up next, Jamie vs Chavo (6) - wow, I'm glad they told us SIX TIMES.

Twix Title Change of KOTR

WWE Cruiserweight Champion Jamie Noble (w/Nidia) vs Chavo Guerrero- Cole notes Nidia is wearing the same clothes she was wearing on Smackdown. Circle. Lockup, Chavo with an armdrag. Jamie adjusts his elbow pad, then talks to Nidia. Lockup, waistlock by Chavo, Jamie goes behind, Chavo wtih another armdrag, and again Jamie grabs his elbow. Chavo says something to Niida, which ticks off Jamie - slap for Jamie. Slap blocked and Chaov's punching. Whip, reversed, Chavo slides under, tilt-a-whirl no Chavo lands on his feet, then gives Jamie a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, as if to show the proper way to do that. Kick, chop, whip, reversed, Jamie holds the arm and slides under, to create a pumphandle, then he suplexes Chavo backwards - he stole that from Mike Sanders! Well, kinda. Tazz says he's done that. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Turnbuckle smash, shoulder, shoulder, forearm, kick, snap mare, elbow drop, elbow drop. Chinlock. Tazz: "Nidia's like a doorknob - [old wrestling announcer voice] Everyone gets a turn!" That actually looks more like a choke to me, but it doesn't matter now. Stomp, stomp, slam. Legdrop. One two no. Back to that choke with a knee to the back. Now turning it around to a surfboard chinlock. Tazz is surprised Nidia has doesn't have hairy arm pits. We get around to explaining Al's absence - he's working on Tough Enough related things for the moment. Chavo fights out, kick, kick, right, right, right, whip, flapjack. Off the ropes, clothesline. Kick, Gory Special faceslam! One two no. Right, corner whip, charging in, Chavo backdropped to the apron, turnbuckle smash, Chavo going up but Jamie's got the ref's attention and Nidia has Chavo's boot. That slows Chavo down enough that Jamie can stun Chavo with a forearm, right, going up, superplex? Blocked, right, pushed off, top rope missile dropkick to the back! Turn the hour! one two no! Slam, no Jamie goes behind, push Chavo into the corner, Jamie charges into a back elbow. Chavo quickly up - Tornado DDT - spun, but reversed to the Northern Lights Suplex one two shoulder up! Whip, reversed, kick to the midsection, powerbomb? No, Chavo armdrags out, clothesline misses, kicks is caught, dragon screw and there's the Trailer Hitch. Chavo taps. (5:34)

That's it - watch Confidential and Diva's Undressed!

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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