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WWE Velocity by The Cubs Fan




TV 14 DLV Entertainment Open (sub in Rikishi for Orton, Rey for Hurricane) Fireworks

Billy Kidman (4) vs Crash (yellow, 7) - your announcers are Everyone Hates Marc Loyd and Tazz - Cole is not here. Everyone's still talking about Undertaker and Brock except me apparently. Crash does the bottom rope jump. "Safety first!" Loyd outright steals Coach and D'Lo's gimmick of rating the jump. Handshake. Circle. Lockup, Kidman with a headlock takedown, Crash with a legscissors reversal, Kidman escapes. Crash with a headlock takedown, Kidman with the leg scissors reversal, Crash escapes. Crash up with a waistlock, Kidman go behind, Crash with a drop toe hold, spinning into a front facelock, break, standoff. Please do something we don't get every week before you do that. Please. Handshake again? No, Crash with a kick. Corner whip, reversed, Crash kips up to avoid the charge, Kidman starts to go for the WOW crossbody so Crash ducks drops down, but Kidman holds on - flying back elbow as Crash gets up. Right. Corner whip, reverse, Crash charges into a spinning headscissors. Crash taking out, Kidman gets speed - baseball slide dropkick side stepped and Crash hits him with a kick. Powerbomb lift - crucifix powerbomb drop on the barricade! Great move - thrown back and cover one two no. Stomping the back. Slam. Cover one two no. Surfboard! Smashing the knee into the back. Kidman rallying up - elbow, elbow, off the ropes, spinning headscissors try but Crash catches him in a side back breaker. One two no. CAMEL CLUTCH! Crash is no El Santo. Kidman starts to break free so Crash with a sitdown on his back. Tazz complains about Michael Cole in general. El Caballo back on - Tazz quizzes him on who invented the camel clutch and Loyd says Iron Sheik. I'd been shocked if he said Gory Guerrero. Shocked, I tell you. Sit down on the back again, except Kidman rolls over and Crash gets a boot to the head - small package one two no. Crash's clothesline misses, Kidman's does not - another, and a dropkick, Kidman hobbled by the back. Corner whip, charge but Crash moves out of the way - kick to the back, cover with feet on the second rope one two no. Forearms to the back. Slam no Kidman goes behind - Sky Hi! One two NO! Acid Drop - no Crash shoves him off, kick to the midsection, Crash Bulldog (note the subtle difference!) one two NO (Longer his finisher!) Crash is sizing up his victim right here, telling him to get up - kick is caught, Kidman spins him, his kick is caught but Kidman is quick enough to hit the enziguri. Pulling Crash into position, and very slowly going up for the SSP. His back is a huge problem here, and Crash recovers to kick the top rope and crotch Kidman. Crash loads him up reverse piledriver style - Crash Landing, one two three. (4:35) Well, Kidman was totally under the ropes but I guess we let that go. You know, I know I'm supposed to say "it's the Styles Clash" (because that was obviously the inspiration) but it's not that far from DDP's old Pancake move.  

Unforgiven video. (1:45

Still to come, Undertaker/Brock highlights. But next, Eddie vs Edge. Tazz: "This is a contender for Best Match of the Year - Best Match of the Year!" 

Lugz Chairshot of Two Weeks Ago

Highlights from Eddie/Edge. (4:45

Still to come, Undertaker/Brock highlights.

WM Highlights. (1:53)

Shannon Moore vs Doug Basham - they go out of their way to use shots that don't include the video screen during Doug's entrance, and it kinda sounds like a dubbed in ring announcement and music - there's a quick jump from the end of Shannon's open to Doug being a few steps down the ramp. And Tazz gets cut off in insentience. Post production, isn't it great. You can see the fans trying to figure out why he's not the Big Valbowski. Fake cheers in here, too. Circle. OVW name dropped. Lockup, Doug armbar, twist, Shannon rolls through and kips up to reverse it.  Dough tries to go to the hair to reverse it and is warned - he opts to shove Shannon in the corner. Corner charge but no one's home. Shannon with rights. Whip, reversed, Shannon with a jumping side kick. Off the ropes, Shannon with a 'rana. Cover one two no. Shannon with a corner charge but Doug slips him into the turnbuckle (a little short of the ring post.) Whip no reversed motion into the same ropes, with Doug using a drop toe hold to send Shannon into the second rope. Stomp. One two no. I think someone's trying a "We Want Val" but no one can truly mean that. Turnbuckle smash. Corner whip, Doug with a nice corner clothesline. One two no. People aren't really thrilled with this match. As Doug hooks on a 3/4 bulldog chinlock, a very loud "You Suck" chant starts. Doug looks at the crowd, and looks at Brian Hebner. Tazz likes the new Matt Hardy (version 1) and explains that he's Tazz (version 3) and Cole's still a virgin. Shannon with right to battled out but gets pulled down by the hair. Bodyscissors lift - I think Shannon reverses to a bulldog but it doesn't look like one particular person was on the offensive there - fans boo, both slow up. Hebner counting them both out but they'll be up by three. Shannon pulling himself in the corner, Dough charges in and gets a double boot. Charges in again and another double boot. Now he tries aright but Shannon block and hits one of his own. Corner whip, reverses, Shannon kips out and flip for no reason, Dough misses with a clothesline out, Shannon runs by to hit the WOW cross body for one two no. Shannon with a kick, Doug catches, drops it, clothesline but it's ducked - wheel kick by Shannon! Nice. Shannon off the ropes, flipping swinging neckbreaker. Forearms, off the ropes, and right into a jumping leg lariat (!) from Basham one two NO! Tazz makes up "leg line" on the spot. Doug puts Shannon on the top rope, facing out. Working the back with forearms, now climbing up to join him - but Shannon back elbows him off. HALO one two three. (4:12) Tazz is the first person to make the connection to Jeff's move (Whisper in the Wind), so points for him.

Coming up later, Cena/D-Von. Tazz actually remembers the "Batista needs to be unfired" angle they seemed to forget this week. Up next, triple threat on Smackdown.  

JVC Scenery Remodeling of last Sunday

So last Thursday, there was this main event. Can you tell I'm hurrying? No black and white for any blood at this time slot! At least this time. (3:54

Next, Cena vs D-Von.

Reverend D-Von vs John Cena (San Diego Chargers) - D-Von is angry (black) man. What's the more disappointing loss - Batista or that collection basket? We saw this match just six weeks ago - I wonder if it'll end up the same way (Cena rolling up D-Von.) Tazz brings up Cena slapping Jericho way back when. Circle. Lockup, battling for control, Cena with the push into the corner. MOTY - Edge/Eddie or Benoit/Angle? Lockup, Cena pushed into the corner, clean break? No, D-Von tries a punch and Cena ducks it. Armdrag, armdrag, armdrag, armbar. Bringing D-Von up. Twist. Eye poke by D-Von. Whip, cross body by Cena one two no. Armdrag, armbar, D-Von up and pushing him into the ropes, whip, Cena with a shoulderblock cover one no. D-Von misses a right inside cradle one two no. Cena charges D-Von but D-Von trips him through the ropes and to the floor. D-Von takes a moment to gather himself. Cena up on the apron and D-von pastes him with a forearm - Cena takes a face first flop to the floor in a neat spot. Cena thrown back in, stomp. Stomp. Right. Right. Open hand slap. Cena battling back with a kick and stomp, but D-Von working the eye rake. Cena blinding punching back, and taking control. Whip, reversed, ducks the clothesline, clothesline by Cena one two no. D-Von with a clothesline. Stomp. Side slam, one two no. D-Von to the second rope - elbow drop comes up empty. Cena with a clothesline (not good), clothesline (better). Cena yells at him to come and D-Von - stands there. Then he kicks - caught, spun around into an atomic drop. Dropkick! One two no. Cena with a kick to the midsection - Three Handed Moss Covered Family Grudunza! One two NO don't be burying Saturn's finish! D-von easily into the corner (didn't really kickout well and up before Cena) so Cena shoulderblock him. Corner punches but D-Von slips loose - hangman's neckbreaker! D-Von covers one two NO! D-Von can't believe it! Going for the Saving Grace (pulling reverse DDT) but Cena slips loose - rights, kick, whip, reversed, Cena goes to the apron. D-Von charges and gets a shoulder to the gut - D-Von spits mist - Cena slingshot sunset flip one two three! (5:13) Well, it was kinda of a roll up. Cena gets to celebrate for ten seconds then D-Von is back up - forearm to the back, Saving Grace. Going up - there's the flying headbutt.

That's it.

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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