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/29 January 2000

WCW Worldwide by Tanvir Raquib




Moral of the Week: Evening Classes are killer for Recappers.

Once is another late freelanced edition of WCW Worldwide, where the recapper tries to provide detailed recaps of the BEST DARN syndicated shows that WCW can provide.

Hey, once again, thanks for another week of absolutely NO responses, but I'm hoping that one of these days, one of you will put the time and effort to email me. But at least my boy, Daniel Cans, told me that I didn't do bad and that it's detailed enough for him to read, so that's a plus. So Dan, if you're reading this, just holler and hoot because you're the first one to praise me!

I'd like to give props to my band, Third Rate Band. We're what our name is, a third rate band. We have no gigs, 2/3 of us have no musical experience and basically, we have a lot of fun doing what we do, which is being part of this great songwriting and musically uplifting experience. We really don't know exactly what we play, it's sorta like we're trying to be a folk band, because of some of the nice little harmonies we've got going. See, there's more to life than contemplating the occupational status of Chris Benoit, especially when you have good friends.

Props to: Bob Magee, of, for a nice little introspective article he wrote. It's a good read, but be forwarned, this may not be your thing. Here's the link if any of y'all wanna know what I'm speaking of:

Yo, CRZ, how do you watch both shows and type them both out with a quickness when it takes me literally forever to type this one hour recap show? Let us in on how you do it....I'd like to know what system you use. You can call it "A Guide To Recappers On How To Become Part Of The Corporate Satan Known As Wrestleline."

One last thing: I'm sorry for the unorganized Worldwide recap I put up last week, I'm stunned myself on how much I gotta improve, but at least I'm part of THE CREW!!!!!!!!!!!

HaHa......We're on top of the world with Karen Carpenter as we recap this week's version of syndicated goodness.

We are here with Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan. The set has a whole bunch of WCW paraphrenelia this week, with WCW action figures, videos and a big cardboard figure of our new WCW commissioner, Kevin Nash. Schiavone talks about the WCW Heavyweight Title and the situation that occured prior to Souled Out. Schiavone tells us about the injury and subsequent stripping of the WCW title from Hart, thus giving us Chris Benoit - Sid as our main event, with the winner becoming the new WCW champion.

Let's go back to Souled Out

We see clips of Benoit getting the crippler crossface on Sid, but Sid was tapping out, his leg was caught underneath the rope, this allowed WCW to strip Benoit of his reign. Sadly, we see Benoit celebrating his victory by raising the belt high, in what would be probably our last view of Chris Benoit in WCW for a very long time.

Referee Arn Anderson Explains It All On the following Nitro

Anderson said he had the responsibility of being the referee in heavyweight match. He says he always wants to say what he means and mean what he says. Anderson talks about refereeing the match fair and square because he owed it to Sid, Benoit, Terry Funk, anyone in the audience or at home watching the pay per view. Anderson blames himself by saying he got caught up in the match, not being a referee before, and having to remember that he was actually refereeing the match. He made a couple of calls, one was right, Sid chokeslamming Benoit but Benoit's leg being underneath the rope, he stopped the count. When Benoit crossfaced Sid, he went down for the count, citing past experiences as a wrestler, so he went down. He didn't get to see Sid's leg under the rope. He looked at the replay and realized he made the wrong call. Anderson blames himself and says that he made a mistake. Anderson feels badly because he took Benoit's greatest moment away from him. He did his best and his best wasn't good enough.

Back To the Worldwide Set

Schiavone says that Anderson made a bold statement and unfortunately, it tainted what was a very good match. Heenan says that admitting it was a mistake is the wrong idea and it's better to blame it on someone else. Schiavone tells us when we come back, we'll see what our new commissioner, Kevin Nash, is going to do about the again vacated WCW Heavyweight Title.


Back To the Worldwide Set

Schiavone talks about the match between Kevin Nash and Terry Funk for the Commissioner title. Schiavone says things are changing in WCW. Heenan doesn't have a problem with Nash becoming the new commissioner.

Kevin Nash's State of WCW Address

Nash says as he stands in front of a sea of underachievers, he understands why it was so important for him to become the new commissioner of WCW. Nash says that there was incredible injustice done at Souled Out, with Funk stripping Jeff Jarrett of the U.S. Title. But now Nash as the new commissioner, he has decided to give Jarrett back his U.S. title. He tells Jarrett not to shake, because brothers don't shake, brothers hug. Nash says that no one is allowed to ask him about the Heavyweight title. Nash tells us that the nWo is running the show. He also gives us this gem: "in this ring, you may be seeing heros, but on this stage, you're witnessing GODS!"

Let's go to Thunder For More Fun!

We see security standing in front of the office of the WCW Championship Committee. We see members of the nWo, some hoes, and the Harris Boys trying to get into the office. Too bad they're not letting him in. And oh yeah, too bad I really don't care. :)

Now we see the Red Rooster in the ring. He tells us about the decision about what they're going to do the WCW Heavyweight Title but it's been difficult with Nash being the commissioner. He tells us in Los Angeles, there will be a unanimous champion. With Nash being the commissioner, he can choose one competitor for the match. The committee, however, has already made their choice, and it will be "the man who will lead WCW into the new millennium", Sid Vicious. We hear nWo music which brings out.......Kevin Nash, Jarrett, Harris Boys, hoes, and the fucking whole Russian army.

Nash has been reading his commissioner's handbook as he's been sitting on his throne. He says he makes the matches in WCW. Crowd chants "Goldberg", which annoys Nash enough to say if the crowd chants his name anymore, that he will fire the son of a (bitch). Nash says that he has an opponent for Sid but he has to go through a test to go through the match. That test's name is Jeff Jarrett. He asks Jarrett if he has a problem with it. Jarrett says he doesn't have a problem with it because "the bigger the slapnut, the harder they fall." Can this get anymore lame? Of course! Nash says he has to pick an opponent for Sid. He says the opponent has got to be taller than Sid, smarter than Sid, and sexier than Sid so....if Sid can go through Jeff Jarrett, than he can face Nash for the Heavyweight Title. Nash says after he wins the strap, that the nWo will be running the show and be stronger than ever.

Back To the Worldwide Set

Schiavone says that on Nitro, Nash will face Vicious for the vacated title and that they will have the results next week. He says there has been a trainwreck between the championship committee and Kevin Nash. He tells us Vicious deserves the shot, but they have put a roadblock between him and the championship, and that is Jeff Jarrett. Heenan says there is no way Sid can lose this match because he has climbed every obstacle in WCW so far. When we come back, we will see how we have got new tag team champions.

Dustin Rhodes tells us he has years of experience and he hasn't learned this overnight, so be careful, and leave the rough stuff to the pros.

Back To the Worldwide Set

Schiavone tells us we have new tag team champions, Big Vito and Johnny the Bull. They have upset David Flair and Crowbar. He says they were hitmen, but they have become very polished wrestlers. Heenan likes Vito/Bull. He says that they have some pizzazz and are young and hungry with that street mentality. He says they are going to be great tag team champions. Schiavone says they are nitwits.

Let's look at David Flair and Crowbar vs. Big Vito and Johnny the Bull from Thunder, shall we?

Disco doing commentary along with Mike Tenay, Schiavone, Crowbar with a rollup on Vito for 2, but Johnny interferes. Johnny and Vito beat up on Crowbar. The announcing team wondering why Flair doesn't get in the action. Vito walks over to Flair, who is on the apron, gives him a smack in the face. Flair gets his crowbar ready. Vito and Johnny whip Crowbar to the ropes but Crowbar ducks, runs to other ropes and gives them a double clothesline. Johnny with a gorrila press, but Crowbar floats over. Crowbar with a rollup, but Johnny kicks out. The kick out's causes Crowbar to hit his head right on Flair's crowbar. Vito with the DDT, pins him for the 3 Count. We have new WCW Tag Team Champions. Disco celeberates with them.

Back To the Worldwide Set

Schiavone asks how Disco can claim to be the Manager of Champions when all he was doing was sitting at ringside. Heenan interjects by saying Schiavone doesn't understand a manager's value. He says that he was once a manager and that he didn't have to interfere in a match, that he could've showed them something on tape or done things behind the scenes to help his guys. He says Disco may go down as being the second greatest manager ever. Tony says next we'll find out what's going to happen to the Cruiserweight Title.


Back To the Worldwide Set

Schiavone welcomes us back by showing up the great WCW merchandise. Shill shill shill shill....ugh! He brightens my day by telling us that EVERY WEEK they will shill their merchandise to us. Heenan tells us that the Power Plant is near the set. Schiavone asks Heenan if he wants to go to the Power Plant next week. Heenan says sure. Schiavone says next week on Worldwide, we will be at the Power Plant. Sounds cool to me. I'd like to see the facilities that helped give us Goldberg and the newest star in our great sport, Allan Funk. Schiavone says that the WCW Cruiserweight Title was up for grabs at Souled Out and Oklahoma won it. Schiavone says that we're going to go to Souled Out to find out how he won it and what Oklahoma did the next day on Nitro.

Let's take a gander at clips of Ed Ferrera and his belly versus Madusa and her breasts at Souled Out

There's a clip of Madusa hitting a missile dropkick on Ed. There's another clip on Spice and Asia grabbing Oklahoma. Hey Asia's grabbing his ass! And Spice is holding his singlet. There's a clip of Oklahoma holding the Crusierweight Title. Hey, aren't they at least supposed to show us HOW he won the damn belt? Crackhead production as usual from WCW.

Now let's go to Thunder......wha?

Didn't Tony tell us we were going to see what Oklahoma did the next night on Nitro? What kinda shit is this when you LEAD pay by play man can't even decipher on what shows the fucking angles take place? Hey Ryder, give me an excuse for that. Or hey, anybody, give an excuse for that. This is syndication and I realize that, but if Schiavone or even the production crew can't even edit the shit that they're doing, then they have no business doing this. HaHa....I sound like Keith or CRZ bitching about this sort of shit...or AT LEAST I WANNA SOUND LIKE THEM. :)

Oklahoma says that this past Sunday, there was a decisive winner in the battle of the sexes and the winner was him. He also says that he realized that there were other real men deserving of the championship and perhaps, maybe they were a little more deserving than him. He says that he will relinquish the WCW Crusierweight Championship.

Madusa comes out and says how dare he relinquish (took her twice to say it) the title. She also says that if there was someone deserving of the title that it should be her. Oklahoma says that he told her before that a woman has no place in the ring with a man, but if she wants to fight, then something can be arranged. Hey, Sherri Martel sneaks up and hits a defenseless Madusa. Seems Sherri is a henchwoman for Oklahoma.

Schiavone asks Heenan what he thinks of Oklahoma relinquishing the title. Heenan thinks that the Oklahoma football team could win every game if they wanted title. Schiavone syas he's talking about Oklahoma, the wrestler. Heenan rambles something. Schiavone tells us it's time for a break.

Buff Bagwell tells us to leave the rough stuff to the pros.


Back at the Worldwide Set

Heenan and Schiavone start talking about mugs. Heenan takes a look at his miniature mug and complains. Schiavone tells us to go to the ring. Damn him, at least tell us that it's time for our DOUBLE MAIN EVENT!

I Slack off big time for CHAVITO GUERRERO VS. KID ROMEO

This was Chavo's match here. He mostly got in the offense in. Earlier on, Romeo worked on the arm. Romeo also got in a crossbody and a legdrop. But all in all, Chavo gets the tornado DDT in 4:19.

I don't Slack off big time for TRACY SMOTHERS vs. BARBARIAN

Hudson says Barbarian is one of the strongest man in professional wrestling. Lockup, Barbarian pushes Smothers HARD into the corner. Okay, they're locking up again. Barbarian just powers Smothers into a corner and we've got ourselves a one-sided PUNCHFEST! Hey, a headbutt by Barbarian as well! Smothers gets whipped into the other tunrbuckle. Smothers gets a boot to the face. Barbarian attempts clothesline, Smothers ducks and lands a dropkick. Flying forearm by Smothers for 2. Smtoehrs tries a rollup, but Barbarian pushes him aside. Barbarian misses an elbowdrop, inside cradle by Smothers for 2. Smothers gets irish whipped, which leaded to both guys attempting hiptosses. Barbarian, being oh so wise, lands some Al Snow headbutts, as we hear Hudson and Tenay literally getting a hardon from Barbarian's offense. Barbarian with a reverse butterfly overhead suplex. (Thanx Scott!) Barbarian gets a sideslam for 2. Smothers gets whipped into turnbuckle, but Barbarian misses the avalanche. Smothers hits some pussy backhands. Smothers hit 2 standing enziguris as well. Smothers going up top and hits the TOP ROPE THROAT CHOP for 2! Can you feel the WORKRATE? Smothers to the ropes, ducks Barbarian's throat chop, to the other ropes.....uh-oh...KICK OF FEAR seals this classic up in 2:45.

Back at the Worldwide Set

Tony talks about the eternal struggle between the nWo and WcW and how he'll let us know whta's up with that. Heenan generally act like an ass as we FADE OUT...............

Tanvir Raquib
[slash] wrestling

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Copyright (C) 1999, 2000 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission