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/26 February 2000

WCW Worldwide by Tanvir Raquib




WELCOME to this week's extremely late edition of the Worldwide Recap Show starring Tanvir Raquib Featuring Today's Guest: VINCE RUSSO

Tanvir Raquib: Hi, Vince, welcome to the show.,

Vince Russo: Aww....geez, Tanvir, this is the first time I've left the house to do something, so thanks for inviting me.

TR: So you don't get out much?

VR: Not really, most of the time, I'm watching All in the family reruns at 3AM in my boxers. There's a certain beauty to my life nowadays that I haven't had before.

TR: Really? Could you tell our viewers at home what that beauty might be?

VR: Sure, the beauty is thhis overwhelming feeling I've had that I've done more for sports entertainment than just about anybody!

TR: I see you haven't lost your ego....

VR: I haven't lost a thing!

TR: What about the head booker position over at WCW?

VR: Well, I'm still getting paid for doing a lighter workload! It's not as terrible as it seems...

TR: Uhmm...we seem to have a phone call coming in......hey, production who is that??

Production: It's Mrs. Russo, Vince's significant other!

TR: <overjoyed> Oh, great! This should make for some great television....<switches to Jerry Springer trash mode>

Annabella Rosaria Russo joins the show.

ARR: Vincenzo, is dat you over on da T.V?!

VR: Uhmm.....yes honey.

ARR: What is dis you talk about?! Beauty? - You call beauty living in a trailer park full of - how you say - rednecks?

VR: Urmm...I think our living conditions are very adequate. Right, hun?

ARR: Hey, remember that white room you used to conduct business in when your back was on T.V.?

VR: Yeah?

ARR: Well, our house is the size of that place, so don't tell me about being adequate. Didn't I tell you I wanted to get the kinda house that Ray Romano from CBS has??

VR: Wait a watch Everybody loves Raymond?!

ARR: Well, some people actually might wanna laugh on a Monday night!

VR: Tanvir......<whispers>...get my wife off the air now.....

TR: Not a chance. You signed a binding agreement for your participation on the show.

VR: Damnit, another fucking time a fucking contract fucks me!

ARR: Oh, and when's the last time you fucked me?

TR: Annabella, I think he spent most of his time fucking guys like El Dandy and Kaz Hayashi.

VR: Wha??

TR: <smiles> It wasn't literally meant that way! I swear!

VR: For the love of God, can we get to the show???

TR: Yeah, that's what I was saying during the "This Is Your Life" skit! But all is fair, I might as well listen to you, Vince.

VR: Cool. Umm...honey, are you still there?

ARR: Oh, you guys talk too much! When am I going to see the wrestling?

TR: Right about now! Production, hit it!

Bobby Heenan and Scott Hudson give us a segment on Lex Luger. We see  Luger beating down Bagwell with a baseball bat. Now we see Luger Luger breaking Brian Knobb's hand with that chair. Now we see Jimmy Hart sucking up to Hogan, while dissing Luger. Oh, I refuse to call him Total Package. Hart gets beat down by we see the Torture Rack....and he breaks his forearm with the chair. Hogan save the day....but he gets plastered by a chair. Luger NOW breaks Hogan's arm with the chair! He gets a few shots with the bat as well. Hudson says that Elizabeth is the reason for Luger's success. Heenan concurrs with Hudson's theory. We're gonna get a view on the Wall next!

TR: Vince, this was one of your best decisions. You've been given some credit for the Total Package character.

VR: Well, yeah. It was a long and hard creative process with the character.

ARR: Whaddaya talkin' about! I gave you the idea, remember? I was reading the Danielle Steel novel and this guy was so like him and I told -

VR: <interrupts> Oh, you're still here?

TR: Anyway, this telecast is 2 weeks old so lets move on.......

Hudson shills Page's book. He tells us about the Wall vs. Bigelow match. Heenan says that the Wall is a couple of wins away from stardom. We now see the Wall coming down the ring on a recent Nitro, carrying a ladder to face Bigelow. I think we've seen this before. Standard Nitro brawl with ladders, trashcans and chairs, oh my! Damn, don't Tony and Madden talk a little bit too much? Bigelow wins the match, but Knobbs comes in the ring and clonks Bigelow. Now, Wall chokeslams Bigelow. Really, I care. Honest.
Heenan says the match was the start of the Wall push. Damn, he pushes him really hard. Hudson says that we'll preview the movie "Ready to Rumble." and Page's book.
TR: What was up with this Wall guy?
VR: Well, he was supposed to be just a bodyguard for Berlyn, but we thought he had star potential to him. Good thing Sullivan is AT LEAST keeping one of my ideas!
TR: Not to mention TAFKAPI!
VR: Well, yeah. He's my pride and joy. I mean, look how successful he's been, Cruiserweight champion around his waist. Give me credit for that!
TR: Eh....okay. We're running very late on this report, so let's quicken this up! Production!

Hudson shills Page's book again. He uses Hogan as a person who recommends the book. Hey, that's about as good of a reason NOT to get the book. Shill shill shill..... $24.95 if you care. Hudson now shills for "Ready to Rumble." Great movie, blah blah blah, Oliver Platt, Rose McGowan, blah blah blah, Bam Bam Bigelow, blah blah blah... Now we see the trailer. Unfortunately, I don't care all too much. Hudson says it's gonna be a mega hit. Oh, I better go see it then.
TR: Umm....we're running really late so let's just skip this altogether.
VR: That's what Nash always used to say during the booking meetings!
TR: Oh, really? Wow....umm...where's Annabella?
VR: <catches his watch> Oh, it's 4:00. It's time for Oprah.

SHANNON MOORE & SHANE HELMS ( with Evan the andro induced bitch) vs. JAMIE HOWARD & YUN YUNG ( with talent but no Kaz )
Moore and Helms attack before the belt - Howard and Yung gets some obligitory stereo kicks and dropkicks - Howard with Northern Light Suplex on Moore for 2 - Howard gets some chops - flying forearm for 2 - Yung tags in - legdrop/seated dropkick combo for 2 - Yung with a snap suplex - Yung picks him up without letting go - neckbreaker - covers for 2 - tag in to Howard - Howard whips - reversal - Moore with a sleeper - drops him on his head - tag in to Helms - Helms with vertical suplex - tilt a whirl slam - legdrop - backbreaker - tag in to Moore - Helms with a slam - Moore gets armdragged by Helms backfirst into a prone Howard - Moore covers for 2 - Howard with inside cradle for 2 - Moore with a clothesline - slam - dance and a legdrop - covers for 2 - Helms tags in - a HUGE top rope sunset flip - clothesline - tag in to Moore - Helms with a slam - double springboard moonsault by Moore for 2 - Howard gets some punches in - forearms - reverse neckbreaker - both men are down - Yung tags in and he's a HOUSE of FIRE! (kinda) - sweet dropkicks for both (Hey, JR! These dropkicks look better!) - 10 punch count by both Howard and Yung, who are on opposite sides of the ring - Karagias distracts ref - somehow, Helms gets Howard out and punches on Yung (bad camera angle) - Moore with huracanrana - Frogsplash (with mucho hangtime) by Helms - covers - 1,2,3.
YOUR WINNER: Shane Helms and Shannon Moore in 4:55

Sing with punches before the bell - whips Jeannie to turnbuckle - avalanche - Oklahoma in commentary - Sing with the fatgirl legdrop - snapmare - Jeannie whipped to ropes - Shoulderblock (kinda) by Sing - missed collapsed pin attempt (you call it!) - Jeannie with dropkicks - missed bodypress - Sing ends this with the sunset flip gone all wrong as she basically sits on Jeannie. ****!  I swear!
YOUR WINNER: Rhonda Sing in 0:56

DEMON (with kickass entrance) vs. FIDEL SIERRA (with no entrance)
Demon with some punches - whips Sierra to rope - clothesline - Sierra ducks - Sierra punches - whip - reversal - bodydrop by Demon - forearms - kicks - cross corner whip - avalanche - vertical suplex - Sierra don't sell and gets in some punches - chops - Demon don't sell either - turns him around - Demon gets in some chops and forearms - snapmare and legdrop - forearm - Sierra gets whipped - reversal - Sierra misses the avalanche - Demon with the cobra clutch slam for 3.
YOUR WINNER: Demon in 1:58
VR is asleep.
TR: Hey, Vince! Get up!
VR: Uh, whuh....huh?? Where am I?
TR: Oh, big fucking shock. You slept through the wrestling part as usual.
VR: Well, I need some sleep. My life ain't the greatest.
TR: We all know that already. Anyways, it's 4:30. I think it's time for your shift.
VR: I thought we wouldn't talk about that on the air.
TR: <hands Vince his mop and bucket> Here ya go, Vince. I've got to produce this week's edition of Worldwide.
VR: As long as the wife doesn't suddenly to switch from Oprah, it shouldn't be SO horrible.
Fade out.....
Tanvir Raquib
[slash] wrestling

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Copyright (C) 1999, 2000 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission