WCW Worldwide by Mike Mousseau
Here I am, back again to serve up a little WCW Worldwide. Sorry for last week's vacancy, although I
firmly believe only CRZ reads this recap regularly. Seems no one really missed me. Of course, if I did this
for the readers, and not myself, I'd be a bit misguided. But hey, I'm not complaining. Worldwide is what it is.
And I'm glad to have a spot here at the [slash]. So, to quote a famous tune, "Are you ready?"
Scott Hudson (subbing for Tony Schiavone) and Larry Zbyszko are our studio announcers. They're still trying to sort things out from Halloween Havoc, but one thing they do know is that the Filthy Animals took Harlem Heat's tag titles on Nitro. Not last Nitro, 'cause this show was taped before that. They mean 18.10.99 Nitro. Let's take a look. New paragraph? Nah. Konnan and Rey Jr. are wrestling HH, and Eddie Guerrero, Billy Kidman and Torrie are at the announcer's table. Guess whom Schiavone and Heenan pay attention to. For details, read CRZ's detailed Nitro report. I only do details for matches on this show. End sees Rey and Konnan double team Stevie Ray for the victory and the tag titles. Nick Patrick lets this blatant cheating pass, fueling speculation of a heel turn.
Scott and Hudson hype the Animals a bit more. This is Rey's second reign, with a second partner. First one was with Kidman. We continue this Filthy recap by going back to Nitro, where Kidman wrestled "Big" Dave Flair. That was a pretty nice DDT by the lad. Torrie flashes Dave, who gets pissed (?), and Kidman attacks from behind. Terrible Rydeen bomb, and a shooting star press to Dave's face end this match. The Animals beat Flair down afterwards for fun. Later, Ric Flair (you know, Dave's dad) browbeats his son. Dave admits that he got his ass kicked. Later yet, Ric calls out the Animals. 'Pisses' is muted. "My son just needs to be left alone, and he'll make it." Well, he could use a personality. And some acting classes. And wrestling talent, of course. Otherwise, I guess he's OK. Animals come down, beat up Ric, Dave tries to save, can't, and the Animals steal stuff.
More hyping of the Filthy Animals back in the studio. It was a night to remember for them. When we come back from commercials, it was also a night to remember for Buff Bagwell.
(Hopefully last) local spot for the 1.11.99 Nitro coming to Minneapolis. An hour from me, and I would go, but I have to, um, watch Nitro and Raw that night. Maybe next time. "Mean" Gene Okerlund has the current WCW Cruiserweight champion Disco Inferno ready for an interview. Disco complains because Gene didn't give him a good enough intro. Disco says he may go to Minneapolis early to set up residence so he can run for Governor. The first thing he would do as Governor is get rid of all this 'twin stuff.' You know, the Twin Cities, all those twin brothers and twin sisters running around. Everybody has twins there, and they all live in the same town, we gotta ship some of these twins out. The last time Disco was at the Target Center, there was a line of fans there with those things you throw up in the air to shoot with rifles and bows and arrows (clay pigeons), because they thought it was target practice. See, 'cause it's the Target Center. Disco explains that it's a building for sporting events, and Monday Nitro is a sporting event (well . . .), you don't shoot bows and arrows at the Target Center, you come watch Monday Nitro, and you come and watch Disco Inferno.
Hudson says Larry has read the internet reports about Buff Bagwell, and so has Buff. He knew he was going to be given the ball, and he was ready to run with it in Philadelphia. No, not ECW. Larry can't even start a computer, and he could care less (I think he means he couldn't care less), but he can read the writing on the wall, writing Bagwell should've deciphered, even though it might've looked like hieroglyphics when he was blinded by the thought of instant success. Nothing comes easy in wrestling. Thanks, legend. Buff's rollercoaster ride may have peaked early in the night at Nitro, but it hit the bottom in his match against La Parka. And Jeff Jarrett made a surprising return. For proof, we go back to 18.10.99 Nitro. Sure enough, La Parka pins Bagwell, yep, and there's Jarrett smashing a guitar over Buff's noggin. We don't get to see Jarrett grab his crotch though.
Jeff Jarrett is a man on a mission, and Big Buff Daddy is standing in his way. Jarrett sent a message to WCW when he made his return on Nitro. The evening gown match between Mona and Madusa, and much more, when we return.
See, Mona looked forward to the evening gown match, as it was an opportunity for her to advance in WCW, but Madusa she didn't like the idea of an evening gown match at all. Quick flash to Nitro. Um, FFWD mode, so read CRZ's recap if you feel the need. Tenay interviews Madusa, Larry interviews Mona, then they have the match, which Mona wins. Madusa shouldn't fret too much though; she has huge jugs. Post-match, Madusa complains, and 'ass' is muted.
Boy, talk about a sore loser, Madusa did not want to wrestle an evening gown match, did not wear an evening gown to the ring, and in the end, lost the match to Mona from Philadelphia, on Nitro. When Madusa doesn't get what she wants, she's gonna pout. And vanity, thy name is woman, or something. When we come back, into the arena we go for exclusive Worldwide action.
Match#1: Hardbody Harrison v. Chuck Palumbo - Match announcers are Scott Hudson and Larry Zbyszko. Harrison comes out to what sounds like a knock off of "Hit Me With Your Best Shot." Referee is "Evil?" Nick Patrick. Heat machine loves Palumbo. Hudson again mentions that Worldwide showcases the young talent in WCW. Lockup, arm wringer by HH, yank, and into an armbar. Palumbo tosses him over and reverses to his own bar. Fireman's carry takeover, and back to the bar. HH up, and backs Palumbo into a corner. Harrison with a knife-edge chop on the break. Another. HH taunts Palumbo a bit. Palumbo reverses things with his own chops in the corner. HH sent to the ropes, dropdown by Palumbo, leapfrog, dueling hiptosses, which ends with a scoop and a slam by Palumbo. Dropkick by Chuckie sends HH outside the ring. Harrison jaws at some fans ringside. Palumbo tries to get the crowd involved, and the heat machine responds. HH back in now. Drop toehold by Palumbo, up into an armbar. Harrison sent to the ropes, Palumbo ducks early and eats a kick. Right, right, spin and a right takes down Chuck. Cover gets two. Rear Headtwist of Meager Irritation is applied! Palumbo powers out with elbows, off the ropes, but runs into Harrison's knee. Hair slam gets a two count. Rear chinlock now on Palumbo. Two elbows again gets him out, off the ropes again, and into HH's knee. Again. Kick, double axe handle on Chuck. Clubbin' forearm, kick to the ribs, and HH chokes Palumbo with his knee. Another cover for two. Forearm, kick to the gut, and Palumbo sent to the ropes. He ducks a right, and grazes Harrison with a cross body block. HH sent to the ropes now, and Palumbo hits a powerslam. Then he gives himself three shots to the turnbuckle to even things up. Right, right, big right sends Hardbody down. Off the ropes, shoulderblock. Off the ropes, flying shoulderblock. Kick to the gut, off the ropes, running face jam by Palumbo. Palumbo ducks two clothesline attempts (punches?), and hits the Jungle Kick (not called) for the pin. (5:10) *** 2/3
Match #2: La Parka & El Dandy v. Kendall Windham & Curly Bill - Parka hits a standing pose on the chair in the entranceway. Windham and Bill represent the West Texas Rednecks. I finally know that Mark Johnson is the referee. Parka hits the strut pre-match. Windham and Dandy start. Windham controls early with punches and chops. Dandy with a hiptoss and an armdrag. Windham counters with a big boot. Back and forth action for a while, and I get lazy. Bill tagged in. Off the top with an axehandle. Parka tagged in, and this match gets really sloppy. Kendall back in. He works over Parka for a bit. Now La Parka fights back. Dandy tags in. Windham gets control with an eyerake. He tosses Dandy to the floor, hits him a couple times, and tosses him back in. Dandy with a too-short full nelson. Windham escapes with the worst stunner I've ever seen. Windham hits a bulldog. Cover, Parka in to break it up, but Kendall no-sells his kicks. Bill holds La Parka, and Johnson counts the 1,2,3. (3:46) ** 3/8 Our Castrol GTX replay confirms what I already suspected: Kendall Windham is a great physical specimen.
Okerlund is standing by with those two clowns, Shaggy and J. J corrects Gene, as it's Violent J. Meanwhile, Shaggy feigns a wet willy on Gene. Ha. Ha ha. Again, no exclamation points means no real laughter. I know this is a local spot, so most of you (CRZ) won't see this interview, but I'm not gonna tell you what was said. I'm sorry. It's just not worth it. I will say it was probably the worst interview I've ever seen.
Back to the studio to wrap things up. Scott and Larry put over Chuck Palumbo and Hardbody Harrison, and the West Texas Rednecks and 'the luchadores'. Also, Madusa and Buff Bagwell are not happy with the changes in WCW. You know, Dr. Frankenstein once created something, and now we're going to see what the monster does. And that's the show. See you next week (maybe) for WCW Worldwide!
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