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/11 December 1999

WCW Worldwide by Jason Hanes




After a look at the glowing WCW logo, we look at a single, solitary man sitting in the center seat of a control room. At the appropriate time, he hits the enter key on a laptop, thereby starting the WCW World Wide transmission. WCW World Wide is on the air!

Hosts this week are Scott Hudson and Larry Zybysko (it will be interesting to see next week if Larry is still doing World Wide or not)

We start to set the table for the granddaddy of them all ("Not Chip Donovan" said Scott) Starrcade! 3-way dance in Denver a while back for the #1 Contender's sport to the U.S. Title.

We flash back what was a pretty decent 3-way dance on Nov. 29, 1999 between Sting, Jeff Jarrett, and Chris Benoit. Lots of good offense by everyone. Louger with a chairshot on Sting, Jarrett with the guitar shot on Benoit! Cover but no ref, so Dustin Rhodes comes out of the crowd to smack the ring bell over Jarrett's head. He puts Benoit on top, the ref turns back around, and Chris Benoit wins the 3-way dance to become the #1 Contender to the World Title after Starrcade!

But back in studio, we're reminded that Goldberg is the top contender right now, and he'll get his shot at Starrcade! Now let's go back and look at that 6-man, 3-way cage match on Nov. 29. But let's look first at what set the match up, a match between Goldberg and Nash. Hall comes in to interfere knocking out the ref with a chair and knocking down Goldberg with the chair. So Sid and Hart come down to stop Hall, and proceed to waylay into Hall and Nash with the chair. Mickey Jay comes down and counts a pin for Goldberg after a jackhammer.

Now that cage match, the huge mess that it was. The best thing about it was Benoit hitting the swandive headbutt on Hall while Piper has magically recovered enough from a Jarrett guitar shot to count the pin while everybody else stands around. Then, face hell breaks loose as Jarrett, Hall, and Nash proceed to murder the rest of the people they haven't already done in. However, Goldberg did show us how poorly built the cage was when he tossed Jarrett into the side of the cage, and it broke.

Coming up next: A look at Juventud Gurrerra and his dealings with the Powers That Be!

WCW Mayhem CD ad. WCW Starrcade ad. Apparently, they have decided to eliminate the interview segment.

We're back, and the Powers That Be continue to run roughshod over all the wrestlers in WCW. So let's take a good look at Juventud and the Powers That Be.

We go back to Nov. 29, looking at our Power telling Juventud if he can take care of this Japanese guy Jushin Thunder Liger and get the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title, the Power will take care of Juvy's Visa problems. Hey, I've got a $600 Visa bill! Do you think he'll help me if I just watch the show?

Forward to the match, as the Road Dogg—er—Buzzkill comes down to ringside and distracts Liger and the ref, giving Juvy the opening to use his handy-dandy tequila bottle over Liger's head to score the pin and the win. Meanwhile, all of the smart fans on the Internet moan and groan for this horrible mistreatment of Liger.

Coming back, I missed it but I have a sneaking suspicion it will be something about the Powers That Be. Back on World Wide, and now we look at Rowdy Roddy Piper. His first assignment was a mud wrestling match! Yeah!

So let's look at Our Power telling Piper about his assignment. Piper's reaction goes from happiness to stunned to mock happiness all in a span of 45 seconds. Hey, who says Piper can't act?

The Nitro Girls got into a food fight in the catering room. I sort of couldn't type the next couple of minutes, but if I can remember, one of the fat women who was supposed to wrestle couldn't because they choked (I was having the same thought about Fyre too. I mean, to coin a catch phrase, I don't know about you, but I'd bang her!). Lex Luger says that to replace that fatty, he'll throw Liz in the mud wrestling match. Our Power goes for it, but Lex can't deliver for the match, so Lex promises to throw Liz in the mud. Lex delivers on that, then Sting comes out to dump Luger in the mud and help Liz out.

NEW MATCH SCHEDULED FOR STARRCADE: DAVID FLAIR VS. DDP! I don't know how they intend to make everybody remember this when Flair is busting up The Maestro's piano. Also, Evan Karageous defends the Cruiserweight title against Medusa. I think I can scratch that off the list.

We come back to World Wide, and it's time for a match! Woo-hoo!

Al Green vs. Lash LaRoux: Mike Tenay has joined Scott for color, and the first thing we talk about is Mike getting smashed with a guitar. Scott says they pulled a Buddy Landell did the Powers That Be when they no-showed the meeting, and Mike said he might just have to take matters into his own hands. Not too much important happening to begin in the match. Lash tried a sunset flip for two, then starts punching away on Green until Green clotheslines down Lash during the Bourbon Street Blues. Green with an inverted side salto for two. Green works Lash over on the apron, then knocks him down into the steel. Green goes out and tosses in Lash. Big time gorrilla press slam by Green, and he sets him up for a powerbomb. Lash though with a nice little reverse headbutt into the groin area to stun Green. This gives Lash time to give Green the Whiplash for a 1...a 2...a 3! (somewhere around 4:30) Scott tells us that the May-December relationship between Medusa and Evan continues next!

We're back, and it's time for our "Main Event!"

Barry Horowitz vs. Evan Karageous (for the WCW World Cruiserweight Title): Well, it's not exactly said, but if Medusa can wrestle for it, why not Barry? Scott tries to find the vertical hold on the monitor as the lovebirds come out. Barry flat dominates this match, not getting distracted by Medusa. Nice fireman's carry suplex by Barry gets a 2. Sunset flip is just about the only offense Evan has landed, and it gets two. Barry continues to dominate until a devastating drop toe hold gives Evan time to hit a springboard splash on Evan for two. Barry comes back and has Evan pinned but everybody's feet are on the ropes, so Mickey Jay stops the count. It ends with a snap suplex by Evan, followed by that twisting, turning splash off the top that no one has bothered to name yet. Evan gets the 1, 2, 3. (in the general vicinity of 5:15)

We'll come back with Scott and Larry in studio next.

By the way, we did see two ads for "Man on the Moon" during the show. And while you can't actually see Jerry Lawler's face, you can see his trunks and his excessive body hair.

Lots of questions heading into Starrcade. Will Bret keep the World Title, or will Goldberg bust into the new millenium as the world champ? And what does Y2K hold in store for Chris Benoit? We'll find out in the upcoming weeks.

For Larry and Mike, Scott says goodbye. Since he didn't do it for me, I guess I'll do it too! Goodbye!

Jason Hanes
[slash] wrestling

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Copyright (C) 1999 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright (C) 1999 by the individual author and used with permission