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WWF Sunday Night Heat by The Cubs Fan




Wrestler Free Open.

No WWF NY this week - this is a Jakked deal right here. 

S-Factor vs Chavo Guerrero Jr. (music) & Hugh Morrus - Unlike on Jakked, Scotty and Albert come out as one unit (to Scotty's music.) Albert's still got that cap - Scotty's wearing a visor. Your announcers are Tazz and Michael Cole, who will get along surprisingly well for an Alliance guy and a WWF guy, not to mention a broken up couple. Then again, Al's nowhere to be seen (I have a song: "Al Snow Who? X-Pac What? Al Snow Who? X-Pac What?") and Cole wanting everyone to get along all the way back when, maybe he's just trying to be nice. Chavo and Hugh's tights almost match, I'm sure that's accidental. Who starts? Scotty and Chavo. Lockup, headlock by Scotty, raising the roof with the free hand, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Celebrate. Off the ropes, over, under, into the hiptoss. Chavo celebrates, but Scotty's kipping up and tagging in Albert. Now Chavo isn't so thrilled. Punch is blocked and Albert his his own. Headbutt. Whip, Chavo slides under and latches on to Hugh's leg to protect him. Oh, there's the tag - the epic feud must continue! Albert's first right misses, but the second doesn't and it's all good. More. Whip, back elbow. Albert's hyper. Whip, Albert Smash. Off the ropes, Splash. One two no. Scotty's bouncing and yelling on the bottom rope like a lunatic. Whip, reversed, Chavo tries the clothesline but Albert just gets annoyed - double choke no Hugh gets a forearm in and Chavo safely lands standing on the floor. Hugh with a clothesline to take Albert down. Forearms but Albert is getting up. Tazz is bitter about getting beat up yet again, imagine that. Tag to Chavo and he gets in a kick. Punches. Whip, no Albert's gonna hold on the rope. Again. Albert throws Chavo over the top rope, but Hugh gets a kick in to slow him down. Tag to Hugh, kicks in the corner. Corner whip, reversed, Albert charges into a back elbow. Hugh out into a press slam. Albert's very proud. Tazz: "Where's X-Pac been anyway?" That brings a tear to my eye. And then he suggests that Albert's having fun teaming with Scotty now (and he may not want to go back to hanging around with lame ol' X-Pac whenever he does show up again.) Tag to Scotty, Scotty stands on Albert's shoulders - super flying cross body one two no. Right. Right. Hugh's right ducked, Scotty off the ropes, Hugh's head down too soon so it gets kicked, off the ropes and right into the flapjack. Hugh sets up Scotty, uh oh he's going up. I forget to note Hugh's headband. He's got a headband. Oh wow, the No Laughing Matter hit! (Well, it was supposed too and it kinda did.) One two Albert breaks it up. High's not happy and forearms Albert to the floor as he leaves. That annoys Albert, but he can't get past the referee. Tag to Chavo, who works over the left leg. Slam. Off the ropes, elbow drop misses. Chavo tries to cut Scotty off from making a tag, but Scotty manages to get thru Chavo's legs and there's a tag to Albert. Albert decks Chavo before getting in the ring. Right for Hugh (doesn't go down), backdrop for Chavo, boot for Hugh, thrown in the corner, corner whip (into Chavo), tag to Scotty, pulling him into the opposite corner, and Albert whips him into the Alliance two. Here's the Albert Smash, Scotty moving out of the way. Scotty gets that look - off the ropes, Chavo sidesteps him and Hugh flapjacks him on the top rope. Chavo's still staggered - BALDOBOMB for him. Hugh's beating Scotty down on the mat with punches, but turns to take care of Albert - no, he'll just eat a spin kick. Albert pulls Scotty (dead weight) to his feet - hmm, he's in position for it. Albert position his arms, then slaps him on the butt (uh) and Scotty springs to life (uh), he's got the face and Albert does it too - W O R M (Albert makes the letters with his body) ho ho ho ho ho ho ha one two three. (5:11) Hugh unwisely decks Scotty from behind - Albert with punches, corner whip, Albert Corner Splash, two handed bulldog here we go again. No no, ALBERT wants to do it. Oh no. There's the dance. Hop hop hop hop he's still having problem with the up and down part but he's getting better, maybe, and there's a splash to finish it. Scotty and Albert Celebrate. 

Coming later, DDP vs Edge.

Burger King IC Title Change of Last Monday

Edge sits reflectively. OH NO it's ddp mugging behind him. "Hey Edge, it's me D D P." "Hey" "You know, I've been dying to talk to you, every since you lost the Inter Continetial Title to Test on Raw. Why? Because - I like me, I know you like me, and because I want to help you, like you. You see, everybody knows that Test clearly had his feet up on the ropes when he pinned you. Which means, you know what it feels like to be cheated. You know what it feels like to be a chump, a fool, a loseeeeeeeee-" [Edge was humoring the insane guy by paying attention till he go to chump] "You know what, DDP, you're right! [both do the smile] Test did make a fool out of me! [both smile] And tonight, in that very ring, I'm gonna make a fool out of you! [only one confused smile]"

Spike Dudley vs Billy Kidman - Lockup, Kidman with a hammer lock, Spike with the leaning back snap mare. Under a clothesline, off the ropes, Spike with a shoulderblock. Off the ropes, Kidman drops down and Spike stops to knee drop him. Kidman up, Kidman dropkicked. 'rana but Kidman ain't going down so Spike tries punches and ends up head scissoring Kidman out of the ring. Spike on the apron - running something or other gets dropkicked. Head to the apron. Kidman throws him in, in himself, and stomping. Punches, but that one misses so it's Spike's turn. Corner whip, reversed, Kidman charges into Spikes boot. Spike out with a swinging neckbreaker. Announcers are nice enough to plug Burger King when talking about the possibility that they could be "flippin' burgers" 8 days from now. Both up, Spike blocks and punches. Whip, backdrop. Off the ropes, running head to the midsection. Off the ropes, lunging forearm. Spike points to the corner and goes up - flying cross body one two shoulder up. Spike pulls Kidman to his feet but Kidman gets in punches, slam, no, Spike reverses to a bodyscissors roll up one two no. Clothesline misses, Kidman with a back suplex lift into a face first powerbomb. One two NO! Pulling Spike into position and going up. Taking too much time. Spike crotches him. Spike goes up - top rope 'rana! Cover one two NO! Cole: "Billy Kidman, one of the many underutilized men in the Alliance-" Tazz: "One of many! There are many underutilized men in the Alliance! That's the way Stone Cold positioned it-" Kidman pushes Spike in the corner, grabs him inverted DDT position on the wait out and swings him face onto the mat. One two three. (3:23)

Coming later, DDP vs Edge. But next, Rock and Jericho.

My Sacrifice

Rock and Jericho. (4:52)

Lillian Garcia talks to Chuck Palumbo and the one Billy Gunn: I've done my transcription for the week. They have matching tights. Billy says he's had his eye on Chuck for a while, okay. Chuck reminds Billy of Billy, you see. Chuck: "With what we've got [looks down - ewwww] we've already won." Wait, are they heels already? 

A special edition of the Weakest Link why why why why

Justin Credible & Raven (music, w/o Terri) vs the one Billy Gunn & Chuck Palumbo - The new team has a spliced together video and new music - or maybe I just forget what Chuck's music sounds like, I dunno. Oh the logos on the back of their tights match too, that's kinda disturbing actually. This got set up last week but I don't think they remember. Cole: "My buddy Al Snow" well maybe not if you took four segments to mention him.  Lockup, Raven pushes Palumbo into the corner, rights. Whip, reversed, under, Palumbo with a high dropkick. One two no. Armbar. Tag to Gunn, whip, Palumbo holds him Raven in sidewalk slam lift so Billy can hit the Fameasser - that should do it, delayed count one two well no. Gunn doesn't understand how that count wasn't three. Raven sneaks in a blow, slam, tag to Justin. Elbow drop misses. Gunn with jabs. Corner whip, press slam. One two no. Kick. Corner whip, Justin flip to the apron, ducks the clothesline, misses Billy with his own clothesline and Raven with his own clothesline. Justin gets to stomping. Boot choke. Cole suggests that these matches are just auditions to whichever company is in business next Monday, since half the people will be out of work. Raven gets a Russian Legsweep into the barrier, thrown in. Justin with his jab. Kicks, tag to Raven. Snap mare. Off the ropes, diving forearm. One two no. Tazz guess he'll be a bricklayer if the Alliance loses. Gunn into Justin's boot. Tag to Justin. Justin with a suplex, no Gunn with a small package, but Raven distracts the ref and Justin breaks free. Stomp. Gunn brought up and jabbing. Off the ropes and into an elbow. One two no. Tag to Raven. Forearm. Exchange of punches, Raven is smart enough to get a knee. Corner whip, reversed, Gunn charges and gets a boot, Raven charges out and gets a tilt-a-whirl slam. Everyone needs a tag. I NEED A TAG. Tag to Palumbo, tag to Justin, everyone goes down to fists. Whip for Raven, overhead belly to belly suplex. Chuck trash talks Raven out of the ring and turns right into the SUPERKICK oh crap he caught it, turning Justin around, ducking the clothesline, JUNGLE KICK. One two three. (5:00) Did they win that match three times? Did they just hug?

Coming up later, DDP vs Edge. But next, more recaps.

Where does Stone Cold Stand (3:45) Tazz thinks he's jumping.

Earlier tonight, "You know what it feels like to be a chump, a fool, a loseeeeeeeee-" [Edge was humoring the insane guy by paying attention till he go to chump] "You know what, DDP, you're right! [both do the smile] Test did make a fool out of me! [both smile] And tonight, in that very ring, I'm gonna make a fool out of you! [only one confused smile]"

It's NEXT.

ABC canceled Bob Patterson vs you think you know Edge (w/Smackdown) - He's got a new video. Or maybe he's had it a while and I just don't care. That's a very good possibility. I don't remember when I turned on Page but boy did I ever turn. I prefer to think that DDP turned awful, though. Now it's "you'll see Rob Zombie on Raw" and not that he'll perform. I don't mind. Circle. Lockup. Armbar by Edge. Shoulder to the arm. Shoulder to the arm. Hammerlock. Reversal, elbow out, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Off the ropes, over, into a dropkick. Forearm. Whip, wheel kick. DDP to the apron. Edge over and gets a shoulder to the gut. DDP flips Edge to the floor. I'd point out when he's doing the smile, but he's doing it throughout everything. Edge thrown into the barricade, stomped. Edge thrown in the ring. DDP going up - flying clothesline. Pose. Waiting for Edge to get up - Diamond Cutter no Edge pushes him into the ropes and hits the spear. Both down. MTV doesn't know how to tell time and my VCR cuts off there

...luckily I've got two copies of Heat because I don't trust MTV. Both getting, up, Edge wins the punches, clothesline, clothesline, weird single arm DDT. DDP kick caught, clothesline misses, Edge-O-Matic. One two no. Front facelock, DDP slips loose, clothesline ducked, second clothesline by DDP hits. DDP sign. Diamond Cutter, no Edge reverses to a backslide, to the Edge-a-cution. One two three. (2:48) Someone get DDP a wheelchair, because he just got his legs cut off. There's an Edge smile. That's it.

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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