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WWF Sunday Night Heat by The Cubs Fan




Two Years Ago, Alex Beckers saw Saturn beat Godfather by DQ when Steven Richards picketed, Al Snow made Essa Rios submit, Bull Buchanan defeats Crash (in match instigated by Joe), Bradshaw ignores the odds and wins over Gangrel and Mideon in a handicap match, and Too Cool trimputh over the Hardy Boyz when Jeff is distracted by T&A&Trish attacking Lita.

One Year Ago, Tajiri beat Jerry Lynn, Rhyno gained many fans by Goring K-Kwik after one of his stupid flips for no reason, and in the first ever WCW match on Heat, Palumbo and O'Haire retain the titles over the makeshift team of Kanyon and Stasiak. X-Factor visits WWFNY, with the obvious stories including X-Pac throwing out a challenge to Kidman for a Cruiserweight/Light Heavyweight match at Invasion, and the two guys in the group (Albert has the IC) being mean to the one guy who doesn't (Justin Credible.) The subtle story is that for some reason, Tazz isn't happy that the other two are treating Justin like that - why'd he care about Justin Credible? (This makes more sense the next night.)

TV 14 (no letters?) CC open fireworks signs blah blah blah blah your peeps are D'Lo and Coach.

Trish (w/Last Monday) vs Victoria in a "Divas" match - Last time I saw Victoria, she was teaming with the former Mean Street Posse member Rodney against the RTC in Memphis; I'm pretty sure this is a step up. She gets generic music, no video, and barely any background by your hosts - I will just point you to her profile on the OVW website and mention her Ivory-esque (in that she has a whole to expose the cleavage) ensemble on, in familiar pink and black. Oh yea, she was the black haired Ho - you don't remember them? Neither do these two! I wonder how she feels about the PTC case being settled. I believe that's exactly what Trish and Victoria are discussing right now. Slap by Victoria. Lockup, headlock, cranking it, Trish tries to elbow out but it doesn't work. Push Victoria in the ropes, but she comes back with the shoulderblock. One two no. Oh no Miss Jackie is the referee, that can only lead to zanyness. Victoria's got the headlock back on, off the ropes, over, into the hiptoss. Trish with a dropkick (nice angle), slap back. Forearm, forearm, forearm, forearm, whip, backdrop by Victoria. Elbow drop to the back, rolling her over and covering one two no. Suplex? Yes. Chaining it to another! I have a weird fascination with chaining moves. One two no Trish does not share that. Cover again one two no. Arguing with Jackie about the count - Jackie pushes, Trish inside cradles one two no. Victoria with the "throw my arm out here stiff and let the person run into" clothesline. Turnbuckle smash, again, kick, kick, kick, boot choke. Let go to shut Miss Jackie up. Corner whip, Victoria charges in with an axhandle but no one's home. Trish chop, chop, chop, chop, corner whip, reversed into a short clothesline. Stomp on the back. Slam. Coach is talking about "the shocking announcement that shocked everyone" - I only wish this was about Shocker. Going to the apron - was that a slingshot senton or a legdrop? Trish dodged, so it doesn't matter. Victoria with a right, it's blocked and Trish hits the forearm. Repeat. More forearms. Off the ropes, lunging clothesline. Forearms. Whip, reversed, Trish ducks under a non-existent clothesline, then turns to hit the high snap kick. Trish going up - plancha! one two no rolled through one two no. Trish gets up but Victoria pulls her down by the hair. Stomp on the back, stomp, stomp, stomp. Whip, no Trish with the kick to the midsection, headlock, Stratusfaction. One two three. (3:48) Replays are all Trish as we give credit to Victoria for not being a total jobbers. 

And now here's the address for the WWE Catalog. Yep. I guess the on-line bit isn't getting enough business.

Shawn Shocking Michaels makes a shocking announcement about their shocking family. (:45)

Shawn Stasiak vs Johnny "the Bull" Stamboli (w/Last Sunday) - I think they retooled Stasiak's music AGAIN. At least they made it into music. Johnny's "Italian" music lasted all a week before he got normal generic rock and they added some footage of him and took out the Italian flag. Watch Johnny slap hands with fans, and then compare it to his actions of the previous week (he hit Dreamer right in the surgical scar!), hmm.  There two were together in the Thrillers for all of five seconds before the Monkey Flip injury, I do believe. Lockup, Johnny with an armbar, Stasiak In the armbar, hammerlock, Johnny with a hammerlock, Stasiak gets the ropes. Stasiak goes to a back elbow when Johnny doesn't break fast enough. Lockup, Johnny pushes Stasiak in the corner, clean break? No, there's Stasiak with a kick, headlock, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Off the ropes, over, D'Lo says "Clique", Stasiak takes the hiptoss. Another. Dropkick takes Stasiak out, so he stares at fans. You know what's lovely is that they showed the clip of Johnny being the heel last week, and now this week he's working as a face. Stasiak in, he's got a waistlock, Johnny with the go-behind, Stasiak goes behind, Johnny tries to go behind but Stasiak keeps turning and they start a little circle around the ring, until Johnny breaks the waistlock, with Stasiak still going, right out of the ring. Stasiak isn't happy with the fans touching him. Stasiak pulls Johnny out, right, right, right, suplex on the floor. Stasiak back in. Johnny still getting up. Stasiak back out to bring him in. Stomps. Hanging his up in the tree of woe, then going back out to pull the neck. D'Lo's getting a $20 every time he says "Ruthless Aggression" tonight. Stasiak in, and stomping. Stasiak pulls Johnny in, picks Johnny up, and Johnny's immediately on the offense with rights. Slam, no, those stomps to the lower back and the suplex on the outside have rendered him unable to slam him. Stomps by Stasiak. Push in the corner. Right. Corner whip, no whipped into the same corner, then a sidewalk slam. D'Lo and Coach work on the proper way to say "playa", re: Jeff Hardy. Surfboard! Stasiak's a thinking man's insane wrestler. Johnny's gonna stand his way up out of it, then turn it around - back suplex. But he's too slow up and Stasiak's kicking it again. Forearm. Corner whip, corner charge but Johnny moves out of the way and now he can belly to belly suplex. Johnny must have fast recovery powers. No, they're gone again, and he can't get up. They're both very slow up - Stasiak with a right, right, right, Johnny with a right, block, right, right, right, whip, backdrop. Corner whip, corner clothesline. Corner whip, corner splash, bulldog out, that seems familiar. One two no. Announcers are valiantly trying to keep up the story about the bad back but Johnny doesn't sell it on offense.  Johnny off the ropes, elbow drop misses, and now his back hurts again. That's always so annoying. Stasiak with a spinebuster! One two no. Stasiak might want to try a finisher - Johnny with a small package, one two no. Stasiak with a whip, but Johnny quick reverses into a Rock Bottom, only Johnny lands in a seated position. Announcers say it's the ForgetAboutIt, though it's probably spelled more like Fahgettaboutit - one two three. (6:48) Wow, that long? Wow, he managed to perform that move despite his enormously bad back? Or maybe it wasn't REALLY bad and wrestling is fake. I dunno anymore.

Still to come, Matt vs Steven, but next, highlights of Jeff's LOSS.

Soft Music Rey Mysterio vignette - though I'm tempted to call it Recycled Clouds From Thunder Rey Mysterio vignette (:20)

Let's go to the desk to hype the next segment. Coach declares it one of the most unusual finishes ever to a ladder match - huh? Maybe the mean the stuff after. The sincerity of these segments bleeds through when you notice they're talking about it being "an incredible match" and they haven't really seen it yet (and by their comments, don't even know who won.) (2:21) Next, Raven vs Dreamer in a rematch from RAW.

Eight Legged Freaks Raven banishment from RAW of Two Weeks ago.

Earlier Today: Raven flashed back to his loss of the WCW US Title, then Terri got a word or ten: "How do you think I feel? I feel betrayed. I feel ripped off. My career is in jeopardy, because of the whimsy of Vincent K. McMahon. I feel like a pawn, in some megalomaniacal billionaire's chess game. And when I lost, I WAS USHERED OUT OF THE BUILDING, LIKE A CHILD THAT HAD BEEN GROUNDED and sent to his room!" The rematch with Dreamer is tonight. "Tommy Dreamer, TOMMY DREAMER will pay for the indignities that I suffered! Tommy Dreamer, TOMMY DREAMER, will feel the retribution for my pain! Because if you cut us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? If you wrong us, shall we not revenge? Quote the Raven, nevermore." (The Merchant of Venice, Act 3, Scene One)

Raven vs Tommy Dreamer - Terri is Coach's girl, at least in his mind. Raven sits in the corner like usual, but slams the back of his head into the turnbuckle not like usual. Raven of course starts the match by yelling at Dreamer for beating him 13 days ago - spit! And Dreamer eats  it! Rights and stomps but I'm very off now. Corner whip, reversed, Raven charges into a back elbow. Dreamer off the ropes, I think they changed angles to hide it taking longer than normal to get that clothesline over the top rope. Dreamer looking for the drink - there's a Pepsi spit. And French fries to the head. Raven's put in a headlock and run into the barrier. And now Dreamer will eat the French fry. And now Dreamer will charge at Raven, and get drop toe holded into the stairs. Russian Legsweep into the barrier. Raven breaks the count, then throws Dreamer in. Right, right, right, now setting up - there's the knee driver. One two no. Whip, holding on for the knee lift. Whip, holding on for the knee lift. Mr. Wrestling #2 Knee Lift one two NO. Face yank. Jab. Jab. jab. Big right but Dreamer ducks it, then drops Raven on the top rope. Dreamer retreats to corner, Raven recovers and charges, right into a boot. Dreamer with a right, right, right, swinging neckbreaker, clothesline. Whip, powerslam one two no. Dreamer with the corner punches - one two three four bite. Raven out, and into a spinebuster one two no. Dreamer with a whip, fireman's carry, DVD? No, Raven slips down, kick to the gut, Raven Effect? No, Dreamer reverses into a DDT one two NO! Dreamer with a whip, reversed kick wham Raven Effect one two three. (4:22) D'Lo: "And that...SUCKS" Coming up, Matt vs Steven, but next highlights from Smackdown.

The People's Moment: The Rock Returns at KOTR.

And here's the finish of the Smackdown match - I think they edit out the edit. (3:38) Next, Matt vs Steven.

1-800-Call-ATT Dudleyz Laid Out Of Monday.

Matt Hardy (w/ads) vs Steven Richards - This week's argument about keeping it real is hot sauce. Circle. Lockup, Steven with a headlock, Matt with a forearms, push, Steven off the ropes, over, and into an armdrag. Steven grabs his arm and yells - "I'll show you! You'll see!" Lockup, Steven pushes Matt in the corner. Break, no Steven with a right, it's blocked and Matt his his own. Kick, right, corner whip, reversed, Steven charges into nothing - Matt off the ropes with the reverse bulldog clothesline. Right, whip, Steven grabs the ropes, Matt charges, Steven backdrops him to the floor. Matt crawls in. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Kick to the midsection. Suplex. One two no. Right, snap mare, there's the full nelson clutch. Crowd behind Matt loudly, and he's getting up -back elbow, back elbow, back elbow, but Steven Richards pulls him down. Slam. Second rope legdrop? Second rope chindrop (to Matt's boot.) Matt pounds the mat to try to get the fans to clap, Steven up first but his punches miss - right, right, discus right. Whip, backdrop (Steven just getting over.) Whip, back elbow, fist drop. One two no. Corner whip, charge into a boot. Steven charges out into a hiptoss and I think Matt might have got a neckbreaker in there too some how. Matt's expanding his moveset a lot better than his brother. Side Effect- no, Steven elbows out. Matt misses a clothesline, Steven tries the StevenKick but Matt catches it, spins him around, Side Effect! One two no. Steven with a right, corner whip, Steven with a kick, turn for a reverse neckbreaker, but Matt reverses it to a back suplex. Matt going up - second drop legdrop. One two no. Twist Of Fate? No, pushed off in the corner - Matt stopping just in time to prevent bumping Nick Patrick, but then turning around to face Steven - Steven Side Effect! One two no! Steven knocks himself in the head, then goes up, all the way up - Snuka hand signal, flying axhandle right into the boot, Twist of Fate one two three (5:22) Coach says it's a Huge Win.

See you next week!

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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