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WWF Jakked by The Cubs Fan




Two Years Ago, D'Lo beats Mark Henry in match that use to be a feud, Brian Christopher gets some help to beat Edge, the Dudleys beat the Headbangers in a four way match with the Hardys and Kaientai and Rakishi Fatu squashes Crash Holly.

One Year Ago, I watched Too Cool beat the unique combination of Just Joe (pinned, of course) and Funaki, Al Snow pull a 'rana out on Albert to win the battle of the Als and lots of hype for Survivor Series.

TV 14 LDV Attitude 

Open - blink and you'll miss that Stunner on Eddie being replaced with a Stunner on Undertaker. They might have to redo these after Sunday. Hahahaha.

Lance Storm and Billy Kidman vs Spike Dudley and Crash - Remember when Storm first joined WCW and he and Kidman were a short lived tag team (feuding with the Filthy Animals) till they decided to turn Storm heel for no real reason and Kidman was being a dork? No? Okay. Your hosts are Jonathon Coachman and Chris Leary. The second team is announced at 370 pounds. Kidman and Storm get tired of waiting for the match to start and run in the ring to attack Spike and Crash, but their clotheslines are ducked, forearms, double whip, double hiptoss, double dropkick, Spike's headscissors takes Kidman all the way out while Crash just 'rana's Storm in the ring. Coach: "It's a very emotionally charged Jakked this week - as if they're are..." Whip, reversed, Crash goes under and Spike comes off the top rope with a cross body, one two kickout. Forearm, whip, dropkick but Storm holds the ropes. Tag to Kidman, but he walks into a backdrop. Tag to Crash, double armbar, double kick, double suplex. Cover one two no. Whip, reversed, blind tag to Spike, Crash ducks under a clothesline and holds the ropes, Kidman doesn't see Spike till he's dropkicked and Crash powerslams him. Spike picks him up, powerslam, reversed, Lance gets a knee in, Kidman with that back suplex lift into a face first powerbomb. Tag to Storm, stomp. Stomp. Turnbuckle smash. Side backbreaker, one two no. Pulling Spike around by his hair and ignoring Brian Hebner's warnings, Storm tags in Kidman. Double whip, double back elbow. Kidman picks him up, forearm, whip, sunset flip by Spike one two no. Kidman up first with a dropkick. One two no. Tag to Storm, hold for a punch. Storm with a fireman's carry - forward rolling fireman's carry drop! He's been hanging out with Fit! One thing you can say for Leary is that he sells the action in the ring better the most - better than Coach barely noticing. One two Crash breaks it up. Turnbuckle smash. Tag to Kidman. Double kick down in the corner. Now Storm out. Slam, to the apron, slingshot legdrop. One two no. Pickup but Spike with elbows, off the ropes, Ski Hi [Coach: "reverse powerbomb"] one two no. Tag to Storm, double whip, Kidman drops down and Storm hits (kinda too high) Spike with a dropkick, landing on top for a cover one two no Spike reverses one two no. Storm with a clothesline. Crash is taunted, Hebner is distracted, Storm applies the choke. Kidman comes into stomp, and Storm takes a coffee break. Hebner doesn't even notice the switch - rookie refs, what are you going to do? Sidewalk slam, one two no. Corner whip, corner clothesline, Spike crashes to the mat. Kidman checks to see if Spike's moving, then gives Crash a forearm shiver. Again Crash wants in and again Hebner stops him - hard double corner whip, Spike going in chest first and falling down. Storm sticks in - no he's going up (I think Hebner almost noticed the switch this time) and Crash rushes over to crotch him. That doesn't seem fair. Storm fails in the ring and everyone needs a tag. One two three four five tag to Kidman, tag to Crash. Crash with a forearm for Kidman, forearm for Lance, forearm for Kidman, clothesline for Lance to take him out. Kidman with a kick, front facelock, Crash escapes, kick wham DDT. One two no Lance breaks it up. Spike goes out as Lance (carefully) throws Crash out of the ring - flying dropkick. Forearms on Storm, kick on Kidman, Spike runs up Storm to hit the Dudley Dog. Storm recovers and throws Spike shoulder first into the ringpost. Crash with his Dudley Dog but Lane escapes and Crash stumbles right into a Kidman reverse DDT into a faceslam. One two three. (6:13) Kidman needs NAMES for his moves, y'all. But this was a very nice performance. We played Storm's music on the way in so let's play Kidman's on the way out.

Coming up, video package, Raven (Raven Effect on Essa) takes on Funaki, but next, video package. 

Puddle of Mudd hype.

Ten Man Tag. (3:08)

Coming up, video package, Chuck and Billy, but next, Raven.

Undertaker and Sacrificing (2:01)

Raven (w/o Terri) vs (sho) Funaki (w/o TAKA) - The announcers are too busy pushing that last bit and the main event to notice. Fink says "Sho", the graphic does not. Both these guys will be in that battle royale. Lockup, headlock by Funaki, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Off the ropes, over Raven, spinning headscissors. Kick to the midsection, headlock, takedown, one two no. Headlock but Raven pushes Funaki into a corner. Shoulder to the gut, shoulder to the gut. Snap mare by Raven. Elbow drop. One two no. Whip, reversed, back elbow by Funaki. Body slam. Funaki going up - flying chin drop into Raven's boot. Coach is asking if he can do the show all by himself - how about we just have nobody. Corner whip, rebound clothesline. Mr. Wrestling #2 Kneelift. Coach reminds Leary (and us) that the good out of an Alliance win is that he won't have to work with Chris Leary any more. "You shut up!" "No, you shut up!" They're practicing to be the RAW team. Funaki ended up out of the ring so Raven can chase him down - Russian Legsweep into the barrier. Raven breaks the count. Leary makes a Austin/Tazz comparison to this relationship. Leary's a jobber too, so...Raven throws Funaki back in, knee drop. Cover one two no. Grabbing Funaki by the hair and going to the second rope - driving knee to the back of the head. One two no. Raven to the second rope - splash but Funaki's knees catch him in a painful area. Rights by Funaki, whip, dropkick. Bulldog! Trish and Funaki should team up someday. Whip, reversed, Funaki with a diving body press (Coach: "nice whatever that was", Leary makes fun of him), one two no. Raven into the corner and Funaki with the ten mounted punches. Celebration. Raven flop! Cover one two no. Funaki needs to figure out what his finisher is. Corner whip, reversed, Bronco Billie Special, Raven Effect. One two no. (3:52) Actually, that does seem like Funaki's finisher.

Saturn vs Justin Credible, later on. But next, video package.

Greyhound US Title Change of Last Monday

IC/US Unification Match (1:27)

Coming up, Gunn and Palumbo, but next video package.

Heyman's speech on Smackdown. (4:32)

Tommy Dreamer and Steven Richards (already in the ring) vs Chuck Palumbo and the one Billy Gunn - Coach compares themselves to Palumbo and Gunn. Circle, Gunn and Dreamer lock up. Gunn with an armbar, crank, crank, tag to Palumbo. Axhandle by Palumbo, armbar, shoulders to the shoulder. Dreamer gets a knee, off the ropes, swinging neckbreaker. Tag to Steven, shoulder, shoulder shoulder, chop, corner whip, reversed, Steven rebounds into a powerslam one two no. Tag to Gunn, kick to the stomach, Gunn with the swinging neckbreaker one two no. Gunn with a kick tag to Chuck, double beal into the middle of the ring. Chuck off the ropes, right into a Dreamer kick, Steven with a high clothesline that Chuck ducks and rolls up Steven one two no Palumbo pushed into a hot shot and now Steven hits that clothesline. Tag to Dreamer. Whip by Steven, drop toe hold, Dreamer with an elbow drop. Cover one two no. Dreamer with a side backbreaker. Leary points out that Chuck has an advantage in that immunity battle royale, since he doesn't have a contract right now, he can only hope to gain. He'll be fined for that. Tag to Steven, double suplex. One two no. Tag to Dreamer, kick. Dreamer with a turnbuckle smash. Right, right, corner whip, reversed, Dreamer with a boot up, but charges out into the overhead belly to belly suplex. Time for a tag. Tag to Steven, tag to Gunn. Clothesline for Steven, jab for Dreamer, jab for Steven, jab for Dreamer, whip for Steven, backdrop. Whip for Steven, tilt-a-whirl slam one Steven breaks it up. Punches as Palumbo is back up and knocking Dreamer out of the ring, then ambushing Steven from behind - corner whip, shoulder powerslam/Fameasser combination! That'll work. One two three. (3:51) Coach doesn't know what to call it, which should be a shock to no one.

Lugz Chairshot to Show on Smackdown

Justin Credible vs Perry Saturn - Saturn gets the hometown reaction. He looks weird with the mustache. Saturn pushes Mike Sparks in the way of Justin, then can't get around him to attack. Justin tries a clothesline, it's ducked, punches are blocked, armbar, shoulders to the arm, hammerlock drop on the top rope. Armbar thrown around by the arm. And again. Legdrop on the right arm. Armbar, takedown, Saturn sits and pushes on Justin's shoulder as he pulls the arm (Justin not thinking just to roll over, I guess.) Rolling him into a hammerlock and up, Justin reverses, Saturn reveres, Justin with a right, right, right, whip, head down too soon, Saturn lamely kicks it. Off the ropes, Justin with a drop toe hold onto to second rope, then a flapjack on the top rope. Stomping, choking. Let go at the three count. Turnbuckle smash. Stomp, stomp, stomp, boot choke. Suplex. One two no. Chin lock, all the way down to the mat. Saturn up quickly, elbow, elbow, punches, off the ropes, right into a back elbow. Justin with the sliding dropkick, but Saturn moves out of the way and Justin gets crotched. That's a high risk move right there. Saturn pulls Justin up, and gets a headbutt to the gut. Saturn gets the better of punches, whip, clothesline. Northern Lights Suplex, no bridge. Springboard dropkick. One two no. Jawbreaker. Spinning DDT (Coach got it!) one two no. Whip, reversed into the overhead belly to belly suplex one two no. Springboard cross body but Justin ducks. Setting up for it - SUPERKICK connects! one two NO! How did he kick out? Must've not been super enough. Justin with a front facelock, Saturn reverses (maybe a little too strongly) and Justin ends up down on the mat instead of in a hammerlock. Step over armbar (Coach: "The Rings of Saturn!") and Justin wastes no time in giving. (4:09) It was the arm he was working earlier on, you see. Saturn takes his time letting go.

Heat is LIVE from the site of Survivor Series. You may know the matches. My tape gets cut off early, but I bet they said see ya when they see ya.

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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