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WWF Jakked by The Cubs Fan




Two Years Ago (on UK Metal), Kirk Wagstaff saw Tazz beat Tracy Smothers, the Posse lose to the Headbangers, Perry Saturn destroy Stevie Richards and Essa Rios beat TAKA Michinoku.

One Year Ago, Hardcore Holly, Billy Gunn, Haku and Essa Rios all got easy wins.

tv 14 ldv attitude open - hey, I was right, they didn't reduce the Triple H clips (or put the new champion last) after he lost a title.

Ivory vs Jazz for the WWF Woman's Title - Al: "Speaking of mountains, look at Ivory's chest!" Oh yes, your hosts are Marc and Al. I think the rule is "Ivory will keep getting shots every three weeks until we get another women who can wrestle (or something like that.) on this show." Ivory gives Jazz a running knee to knock her off the apron when she tries to come in, rights and a whip into the steps. Marc and Al discuss how old Hogan is, I think. Ivory whips Jazz in, and goes in herself to start the match. Clothesline. Slam. Off the ropes, splash onto the knees.  Ivory manages to hit a chop first, off the ropes and into a powerslam one two no. Jazz goes for a hairpull but Ivory hits a knee, whip, head down too soon so Jazz Kicks it, double leg take down and slingshot into the ropes. Dropped on the rope next first. Clothesline from behind. Choke on the ropes. Ivory with rights but one forearm takes her down. There's the Raven seated hangsman choke. Off the ropes, leg drop. Off the ropes, splash but no one's home. Jazz with a right, blocked and Ivory hits hers. Right right, corner whip, reversed, Ivory gets a boot up, right, corner whip, reversed, Jazz charges in but Ivory kips up and out over her. Jazz just turns around and kicks Ivory, right, double leg takedown no Ivory reverses to a backslide one two n0o one cared. Drop toe hold and Jazz has a chinlock on. Up, corner whip, eh spinebuster. Single leg Boston into the STF. Al: "And you know what 'STF' stands for? [pause] 'Submission To Fear'" Ivory hangs in and then taps (2:54) - and Jazz keeps it in for an extra long amount. Now, let's look at our announcers who talk about Jazz dominating this match - sure. 

Coming up, Triple H/Y2J...and that's it for now.

Your week in the WWF Title. (10:38) Busy week! Also, here's some hype for this week's Smackdown.

Coming up, Test/Godfather vs Val/Faarooq - when feuds you don't care about collide! Next, there was this movie that the Rock was in.

Scorpion King: The Rock Plays With Swords (:52)

this is a Test and the Godfather (w/walking stick) vs Faarooq and the Big Valbowski - oh yay four entrances. Listen to those piped in boos for the Godfather - you can hear the crowd start to pop when they hear the twang of his music and then the heat machine overpowers them before they realize what's going on. Faarooq at least gets to the ring in a decent time. Loyd explains both of these angles. "It happened right here on Jakked!" Al figured Godfather is being paid off by Motel 6 - "you can't stay in business when Valbowski's stealing all your towels!" Test and Val start - there's a big knee from test. Right. Right. Right. Corner elbow, corner elbow, corner elbow, kick kick kick kick kick boot choke. Test yells at the ref - no one says immunity (yet.) Whip, Val reversed, back elbow, elbow drop, off the ropes knee drop. Punches to the head because Val's that pumped up. This is Jakked! Turnbuckle smash, right, right, crowd is chanting "We want ho's" because no one briefed them on the angle, right, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, boot choke and running over for a right for Godfather. Back to Test - and right into the release full nelson slam. Test with punches to the head on the mat. Tag to Godfather - hold for a right. Hold for another fight. Turnbuckle smash. Whip, boot to the midsection, off the ropes, boot to the head. Slam. He's evil now so he doesn't do the spin around legdrop - it's an evil elbow drop instead. Off the ropes and a jumping elbow drop. Looking at Faarooq, picking up Val, choke on the ropes. One two three for and it's let gone. One two three four and it's let go. Whip, missile shoulderblock one two no. Chop to the neck, whip, head down too soon so Val kick sit, corner whip, reversed, Godfather charges in but gets a big elbow. Val charges out - double clothesline and everyone's down. Tag to Faarooq - duck the punch, clothesline. Clothesline. Whip, powerslam. One two Test breaks it up. Val in on him with rights - whip into a Faarooq clothesline! Faarooq and Test end up outside, with Val exchanging punches with Godfather. Ref Jimmy Korderas doesn't know where to look (because the legal men aren't together) and opts for the outside. Meanwhile, Val goes for his back suplex powerbomb but Godfather fights out of it, corner whip, reversed and now Val hits it. Val's going up as we notice that Test has temporarily taken out Faarooq with a shot into the barricade. You need to be going faster Val  - yep, Test crotches him and pulls him out. Test gets to stomping but Faarooq's back in - spinebuster for Godfather! Faarooq covers one two three. (4:37) Test was slow on the uptake - but here's a big boot! Val back in he's punching Test - corner whip, reversed right into Godfather's cane! That's some nice teamwork. Play Godfather's music because he lost (but got to use his weapon.) I don't think this over.

Still to come, a Lance Storm/Hugh Morrus rematch. But next, a look at the six man tag on Smackdown.

Greyhound Cruiserweight title change of Backlash.

Al says this is great TV - I could go without men in thongs. Kidman's Rico impersonation was underrated. (1:47)

In the locker room, Chavo Guerrero and Hardcore Holly discuss how lucky Randy Orton was to beat Bob, and then "the guy with the cape thing" Chavo's facing later on- "He better call all his superfriends, because he's going to need them." WOOSH. "Did someone say cry the name Hurricane? Does someone need help? Does someone need assitance?" "No. Do you?" "I'm out of here." Bye, Bob. "Are you ready for our match tonight?" "I have a match?" "That's right." "What match?" "A match with me. Chavo!" "Chavo? But I'm fighting Sinestro!" "Who's Sinestro?" "Who's Chavo?" "Me! Chavo Guerrero Jr., punk!" "Well take heed, Citizen Junior, and prepare yourself, for a battle, of super human proportions. And remember this, [Hurricane looks skyward - Chavo tries to figure out what he's looking at] through hollowing winds, [Hurricane looks away - Chavo looks that way] and pouring rain, [now down] all evil shall fear, the Hurricane." Woosh. "Who's Sinestro?" Why did I do that?

the Hurricane vs Chavo Guerrero Jr. (w/Tough Enough 2 shirt) - Al explains that Sinsetro used to be part of the Green Lantern core, before he turned and became his arch-nemesis. That does remind me - I know people (and when I say people, I really mean "me") like to make fun of RAW for being Nitro-finish like but between this match and the still to come Lance/Hugh match, Jakked is sure like Nitro when it died. Which probably says more about Nitro. Hurricane wants a handshake - but it's pushed away. Chavo's serious. Hurricane poses and they circle- lockup, Hurricane with a waistlock. Chavo goes behind, Hurricane with a snap mare into a chinlock, then up with a headlock. Chavo elbows out and into this chinlock. Hurricane with elbows, push into the ropes. Chavo off the far ropes, near ropes, under the clothesline whip and Hurricane hits the shoulderblock. Pose, Off the ropes, over and a hiptoss into a monkey flip (thanks Al.) Chavo charges - right into a tilt-a-whirl back breaker. Corner whip, reversed, Chavo charges in and gets a headscissors to the floor. Hurricane goes up for a suicide plancha but Chavo moves away - SO hurricane follows, Chavo in, Hurricane to the apron, kick is caught but enziguri is not and Hurricane goes to the floor. Chavo runs him back first into the apron and throws him. Chavo with forearms to the side of the head. Chavo lets up, picks up Hurricane but Hurricane comes back with right right right knee and a turnbuckle smash to stop that. European Uppercut knocks him down, boot choke. Corner whip, no turn around so Hurricane goes into the corner - big back suplex on the rebound one two NO. Chavo gives him a right for getting up, and then puts on a seated chinlock variation. Hurricane with rights, Hurricane off the ropes and a cross body one two no. Chavo with a clothesline but it's ducked, Hurricane with a clothes but it's ducked, Chavo with a back suplex but Hurricane lands on his feet this time and hits the jumping neckbreaker. Both men down. Hurricane up and posing. Hurricane wins the battles of the punching. "You don't have to be all butch, Mark." Chavo whipped and gets a jumping clothesline. Back elbow. Whip, back drop. Hurricane going up - taking his time a little bit but hitting a top rope cross body one two NO. Hurricane with a corner whip, Charge charges into a boot. Hurricane going for the Blockbuster one two NO. Hurricane with a thumbs up - there's the setup and yell, Eye of the Hurricane is reversed into an inside cradle with tights one two three. (4:58)

Lance Storm (w/last week on Jakked) vs Hugh Morrus - holy crap, Al brings up the WCW US Title feud as common knowledge, and Lance and Hugh being the first two guys to show up from WCW, and Hugh helping Lance win the IC Title. I love that kind of continuity. Lance is circling around the ring and Hugh won't let him in - up to the apron but Hugh clotheslines him off hard.  Lance runs and another a clothesline. Hugh gets a little to close to ropes and Lance is able to pull him out, then sneak in the ring himself. Lance yells Hugh to come in - punching Hugh off the apron doesn't quite work, but a dropkick is more effective. Right, kick, choke on the ropes. Lance with aright, right, forearm, chop, whip, reversed, Lance slides under but Hugh turns around and clotheslines him. And another. Corner whip, Hugh charges in - corner smash. Big right, but Lance's foot catches Hugh low as he falls. Was that intentional? Lance is back up with a right, smash on the bottom rope, rubbing into the mat. Brian Hebner tells Lance to stop, so Lance pushes him away! I don't believe Lance has immunity. Hugh with rights in the corner now and now he pushes Hebner away. And now they're rolling around on the mat exchanging punches but Brian Hebner had ended the match way early. (DDQ 1:58) Hey, at least they didn't wait for 8 minutes to do this finish. All the refs are out and breaking the apart - oh, Lance breaks through and gets in his cheap shot before deciding to walk off.

On Smackdown, Jericho vs Hogan for the WWF Title. Later.

The Cubs Fan
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