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WWF Jakked by The Cubs Fan




Two Years Ago, Marc Taylor saw (and so did Kirk Wagstaff on Metal UK) Big Bossman beat Gangrel, Venis took out Abs despite the MSP, Mosh defeated Albert with the help of Thrasher and Mideon beat a jobber.

One Year Ago, Billy Gunn, K-Kwik, Albert and Essa Rios (over Kid Romeo) won squashes. 

TV14LDV attitude. Open

CHRISTIAN vs the Hurricane (w/Mighty Molly) - Christian goes to point to his belt, then realizes it's not there any more. It's all very sad. Christian has words with Hurricane as they staredown, shoves him, and I think declares himself a superhero. That annoys Hurricane enough to push back, and it's on. Christian charges, and gets a drop toe hold. Charge, and right into a hiptoss. Armbar by Hurricane, right right twist, Christian with a right right, whip, reversed, Christian clothesline misses, Christian hits the spinning headscissors. This week's "Coach is a really a heel" moment (huh?), he defends Angle's actions on Smackdown. That's the top story, though the nWo was mentioned before they got to it. Hurricane walks into Christian's corner and gets a boot. Right. Corner whip, Hurricane slowly to the second rope, back kicking Hurricane away, up to the the third rope, and Christian knocks Hurricane's legs out from under him, Hurricane falling awkwardly on the top rope but not getting crotched. Christian up and stretching Hurricane over the cable that connects the top turnbuckle to the corner post. Hurricane falls to the apron and rolls in the ring. Battling up with punches, off the near ropes, Christian gets in a knee lift (I guess.) Christian picks up Hurricane in a suplex and drops him chest first on the top rope. Stomping. Coach says Christian is working over the chest. Abdominal stretch! I think Coach may be on to something. Molly pounds the mat. Coach wonders if there's something there between Hurricane and Molly. Leary: "There's no time for shagging when you're a superhero!" Hurricane with a back elbow, back elbow, out of the hold and now with a right, right, big right, but Christian ducks it, back suplex but Hurricane lands on his feet, jumping neckbreaker. Hurricane jumps up, poses, best of punches, whip, reversed, Christian with a clothesline that's too high, Hurricane with the goozle, thumbs up, no Christian elbows out. Off the ropes, right into a clothesline. Up, and into a back elbow. Hurricane charges, Christian throws him over the top rope, and Hurricane (kinda) lands on his feet. Pose. Going up as Christian talks to Molly - flying cross body one two NO. Hurricane can't believe it. Setting up for it - SUPERKICK is caught, Hurricane's spun around and dropped by a reverse DDT. One two NO. Christian throws another fit. I believe he's doing the breaststroke there. Coach says this is Christian imitating Leary after he's been turned down for a date. "It hurts when I do that in the street. I get bruises." Christian STEALS THE CAPE. Then he holds the cape up triumphantly, because he's just stole it. Of course, that allows Molly to jump on the apron and grab it, so Christian grabs Molly, but the ref breaks it up before that can go any further. Christian goes back to work - small package by Hurricane, ref turns around one two NO. Hurricane with the kick, reverse facelock, no Christian escapes, Unprettyier! One Two Three. (4:44) Coach declares this a big win for Christian. 

A look at Maven and the Undertaker later, and Scotty and Albert are on the way, but next, the happy couple.

nWo Vignette - this would be the mass panic/No Way Out one. (:33)

At No Way Out, they'll be a #1 Contenders Match between Triple H and Kurt Angle.

Here are some highlights. (13:12)  

Coming later, Tajiri and Torrie, but next, Scotty and Albert vs Funaki and Crash.

Crash (yellow) and (sho) Funaki vs Albert and Scotty 2 Hotty - Albert and Crash will start. Oh no not the test of strength. Albert scares Crash away with his yell and his really high hand. Funaki and Crash talk strategy. Ah, the strategy is for Funaki to get on Crash's shoulders to negate the height advantage. Funaki wants the test of strength and Albert's going to have to strain to reach it. While that's going on, Scotty sneaks in to set up the schoolboy trip, and Albert pushes both opponents down. Crash manages to recover quick, eye poke, whip isn't happening. Doesn't stop Crash from trying. Albert with the whip, spinebuster drop, grabs the legs, giant swing. One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten and a half. Crash gets up, then collapses back to the mat. Albert tries to knock his balance back, then just falls with the headbutt to the groin. Funaki charges in, and gets picked up in a fireman's carry. Tag to Scotty, who climbs up to the top rope, then on top of Funaki - super high chop. Funaki's dropped on the rope, and then dropped with a clothesline. Scotty brings Crash in the ring the hardway, whip, head down too soon so Crash punches it, right right right kick corner whip, charge in and Scotty gets in an elbow. Crash charges again, and gets a boot. Scotty charges out, ducks the clothesline, and hits a reverse neckbreaker. Race to the tag? I guess. Tag to Funaki, tag to Albert. Shoulderblock for Funaki. Big right for Funaki. Off the ropes, right into a back elbow. Dancing punches for Crash. Funaki with a forearm, whip, reversed, scissors kick. Cover one two Crash breaks it up. All four in, Albert and Scotty in control, Funaki gets squashed by Albert in the corner, Scotty rides Albert to a corner splash on Crash, off the ropes, two handed bulldog, it's time for W O R M who who who who who who ya. High five - there's Funaki jumping right into the double choke, Baldo Bomb one two three. (4:08) Scotty poses on Albert's back again.

A recap of the pose down later, but next Maven/Undertaker.

Let's recap the Maven/Undertaker situation, going back to the Royal Rumble, then two weeks ago on RAW. That takes us to Last Thursday. And then the Rock and his limo. (3:45) MRI results so far have been inconclusive, but they hope to have an update on RAW. Apparently, it doesn't matter - he'll still fight the Undertaker at No Way Out irregardless, we just don't know what kind of condition he'll be in.

Still to come, bikinis. But next, Tajiri and Torrie.

nWo Vignette - this one has a lot of Road Wild '96 clips (:20)

Stacker 2 Predictable Title Change of Last Monday

kinda-WWF Cruiserweight Champion Tajiri (w/Torrie Wilson) vs Jason Partain (already in the ring, w/graphic) in a non-title match - Just to (continue to) annoy me, the graphic people say WWF but Fink does not. Circle. Lockup, armbar by Jason, Tajiri rolls out, hammerlock, reversed to a Jason headlock, off the near ropes, shoulderblock. Jason off the desk ropes, over, off the ramp ropes, Tajiri hiptoss. Standing moonsault one two no. Jason with a knee, push in the corner, knee, corner whip, Jason runs up the corner, jumps off and turns around in mid air - the only problem is that it looked like he only maybe grazed Tajiri with an arm. Jason signals two for some reason. Stomp. Stomp. Slam. Going to the top rope - top rope leg drop blocked. Tajiri wins the better of the punches, one is ducked and Tajiri hits the big back thrust kick (Jason staggers but doesn't go down), and a hard kick to the left thigh (Jason goes down like he's been shot.) One two NO. You should've seen the look on Tajiri after Jason didn't go down right away. Whip, reversed, handspring back elbow. Slam, no, Jason falls behind, Tajiri clothesline misses and Jason hits a forward roll slam. "One!" Running snap neckbreaker one two no. Jason is wearing the amateur tights, but I'm pretty sure you don't use forward roll slams there. Jason picks up Tajiri, but Tajiri hits a spinning back kick. Off the far ropes, sunset flip, Jason isn't going down, Jason sits down, Tajiri just squeezes free and hits a hard kick to the back of the head. Jason on his knees - knockout kick, one two three. (2:39)

Pose Down. I bet Metal didn't get this. Chuck's ponytails are very inspired. We cut out before the beatdown. (3:00)

nWo Vignette - this one has the Bash turn footage. I really like the sound effect at the end - the one that makes it sound like you lost your last life in some video game. (:22)

Was there only one "of the week" thing? Maybe I missed the other one.

Ah, here we go, the X-Box ending of Last Thursday.

Kurt Angle hosts Heat! Also, Kane vs Christian. On RAW, know. Less stuff I'm going to miss watching Battle of the Seasons.

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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