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WWF Jakked by The Cubs Fan




Two Years Ago, Kirk Wagstaff watched the Mean Street Posse lose to the Headbangers, Viscera beat Mark Henry with a big splash, Stevie Richards and Essa Rios beat Kaientai, and Tazz make Gangrel tap out. 

One Year Ago, Billy Gunn, A.P.A. and Haku won squashes - Essa Rios beat Loki, too.

tv 14 ldv attitude open. Out: Stacy Keibler with the Dudleyz, In: Stacy Keibler in a bikini, twirling her dress around her head. Why bother changing one bit if the whole thing gets redone next week? Oh, the if.

Mr. Perfect & Boss Man (w/nightstick) vs A.P.A. - Leary and Coach sound more dubbed in than normal to start. They both loved WM18, and want to tell you about it. The crowd is popping so loud we can't hear the APA's music. This crowd wanted to pop loud for anything, didn't it? Is This The Last Time We See Them Together? is going to be a recurring theme tonight. Leary says that he'd pick second halves of tag teams just to make sure to hurt the other side - I don't know about that corporate strategy, Chris. Who's gonna start? Faarooq and Perfect. Circle. Lockup, somehow Perfect gets the push in the corner and lays in a chop, right right right right corner whip, charge in but Faarooq gets an elbow up. Faarooq to the second rope (!) and a missile shoulderblock one two kickout. Faarooq tries to grab Perfect but Perfect slips loose and makes the tag to Boss Man, who's not happy at being tagged. Tag to Bradshaw. Boss Man throws a mini-fit about the normal chant. Lockup, no Boss Man knees and rights. Bradshaw with rights. Whip, reversed, shoulderblock by Bradshaw. Off the ropes, elbow drop. Cover one two kickout. Turnbuckle smash by Bradshaw, knee, right, knee, Boss Man with an eye rake. Off the ropes, running shoulderblock. Tag to Perfect, chop, chop, whip to the ramp ropes, whip, reversed, Perfect tries a cross body and Bradshaw catches him - fallaway slam. Perfect back up but Bradshaw's got him - going for the powerbomb but Boss Man gives him a big boot to break it up. Tag to Boss Man, double whip, double shoulderblock. Boss Man covers but the ref is telling Faarooq to get to his corner. Boss Man argues the no count with Brian Hebner. Punches by Boss Man, Boss Man signals for a powerbomb, but Bradshaw backdrops out of it. It's time for the race to the tag - but Perfect gets the tag first and stops Bradshaw from making it. Head smash into the mat, then some stomps. Whip to the ramp ropes, reversed into a back suplex by Bradshaw. Will he get the tag this time? Yes, and also to Boss Man. Boss Man misses the clothesline, Faarooq with an inverted atomic drop, Boss Man rebounds off the ropes and into a clothesline. Right for Perfect on the apron. Whip to near ropes, not a good powerslam (more of a drop) for one two no Perfect breaks it up. Perfect gets a shot on Bradshaw too. Rights from both men on Faarooq now. Both off the ramp ropes, but Perfect's tripped up by Bradshaw and Boss Man runs by himself into a spine, um, drop. Faarooq and Bradshaw aren't working well together and Faarooq's keeled over instead of following up - Bradshaw's putting Perfect into the steps on the outside. Faarooq's back up and going - Dominator? Nah, a weak powerbomb with press for one two three. (4:46)

Coming up later, Hogan and the Rock's week, and Val in action. But next, the Brand Extension.

Hey, you could just watch this commercial and get the whole idea here.

WM fireworks lead into Brand Extension talk. We skip from Flair's entrance to just before the coin toss. (4:56) One Of The Most Important Raws of All Time! Draft! Undisputed WWF Championship Match

A look back at Fan Axcess later. But next, Lance Storm vs Big Valbowski.

Big Valbowski (short entrance) vs Worthwhile Television - Leary is from Philly. Gee, the girl is in the corner they're ALWAYS in. A couple fans smartly run towards the plant before Val "spots her", so they can get on camera. Coach and Leary make fun of her non-tanness. Leary makes fun of the speech. NO you're supposed to ROLL out of the ring, I guess she didn't get the memo. We killed about 2:40 with this.

Big Valbowski vs Lance Storm - Guess we couldn't have made time for Lance to remind us where he was from, but is he supposed to be a heel after all. Lockup, Val pushed into the corner, shoulder, shoulder, Lance with a right, knee, knee, knee, corner whip, reversed, clothesline by Val. Clothesline again. Right, whip, backdrop. Val calling Lance on, right, whip to the ramp ropes, back elbow, elbow drop, off the ropes, knee drop, neckbreaker. The announcers predict that Val and Lance will be "right up there." This is like how Vitale has about 80 teams he says should be in the NCAA Tournament each year - if you think about the big picture for a second, everyone seems incredibly stupid. Val off the ropes, under a clothesline, jumping shoulderblock. Whip, Storm sleeper. Reversed into the Blue Thunder Bomb. Jawbreaker by Storm to finnaly turn the mo. Coach does his horrible Lance Storm impersonation. Nice German suplex for Lance - one two no. Right, whip to the announce ropes, reversed, spinebuster by Val. Val hooks on the cobra clutch - no, he's rolling Lance's head down and then rolling his whole body for a bizarre (but seemingly very effective) pinning combination - one two three. (2:10) Okay, I'll let Lance losing go if you're pulling out weird pinning combinations. Of course, I'm not Lance and HE'S not letting it go - SUPERKICK! Lance raises his own arms - play his music.

Still to come, Albert and Scotty 2 Hotty, but when we return, Hogan and the Rock.

Looking it up, it seems that move's called a Back Mounted Cradle, or the Gedo Clutch when Gedo does it. So you know.

Lugz Posing of Last Sunday

Hogan/Rock/nWo (7:28) The Draft is on Monday.

Coming up, Crash and Funaki vs Albert and Scotty 2 Hotty. But next, a look back at Axcess.

WM attendance was 68,267, maybe. Axcess clips were 3:20 when they showed them on Heat. Thank you for paying for WrestleMania!

Stacker 2 debut of Monday.

Crash (blue) and Funaki (together again - but with a shortened entrance) vs Scotty 2 Hotty and Albert - While we'll never know if Fink said Funaki's first name, we do come in time to see Funaki pull down the top rope so Crash can step over it. Or at least try to step over it and kinda fall down. Leary: "You know, getting into Crash's head is like...I can't think of an analogy right now, but I think you're on the same line here." It'll be Crash and Albert. This is never a good sign. Circle. Lockup. Albert pauses, then pushes down. Crash is ticked! Off the ropes, under a clothesline, Crash charges but Albert holds him in place by one hand. Funaki charges but Albert stops him with his other hand. Noggin knocker. Lifting slam for Crash, and it looks like another trip around the giant swing - but Funaki jumps on Albert's back. Albert seems more annoyed than stopped and starts the swing anyway - one two three four five six seven eight nine Albert must've lost count - the fans never count with him on that. Albert drops Crash and backs in the corner to smush Funaki - dizzy falling headbutt to the groin. Tag to Scotty - double whip for Funaki - side slam/bulldog combo for one two broken up by Crash. Crash slowly walks out of the ring, happy with himself and wiping his hands, so Scotty forearms him out of the ring. Funaki attacks Scotty from behind, so I guess that wasn't a smart move. Turnbuckle smash, corner whip, reversed, Scotty slips out of the ring and trips up Funaki. Albert makes the signal, and Scotty notices where Funaki is - off the ropes, clothesline is ducked and Crash sneaks in one from outside. Tag to Crash. Stomping. Whip, back elbow. Crash starts pulling up his short like he's Marc Mero or something, then realizes that he doesn't like it that way and pulls them back down, before continuing on with the match. Cover one two no. Hold for Scotty - right by Funaki. Kick, kick, kick, celebrate! Oh, that's not a nice gesture there. Scotty takes advantage and hits punches - corner whip, reversed, Scotty charges in and gets an elbow, Funaki charges out, ducks the clothesline and hits the eye poke. Turnbuckle smash. Tag to Crash. Kick, kick, kick, kick, choke by Funaki as Crash distracts. Albert charge sover but Funaki lets go and backs safely away. Crash with stomps. Snap mare, dropkick to the back. One two NO! This is the best job this team has done against this other team yet, I think. I say that, because it's just a matter of time. Exchange of punches, and Scotty's gonna win that. Crash sneaks in a knee to stop it, then a whip, clothesline misses and Scotty hits the neckbreaker. Race to the tag - tag to Funaki, tag Albert. Clothesline for Funaki. Shoulderblock for Funaki. Clothesline for Funaki. Leary and Coach have finnaly gotten to discussing "What Up, G." Funky punches for Crash. Funaki with a forearm, whip, reversed, press slam - into the powerbomb. One two Crash breaks it up. Scotty with forearms for Crash, corner whip and down goes Crash. Albert whips Funaki into Crash, and Scotty rides Albert into both of them." Leary: "The Superstar Sandwhich!" Okay, they're gonna try it again on Funaki here - two handed bulldog. Why did Albert go between Scotty's legs right there? Was that a Steiner impersonation? Anyway, everyone do the happy dance, W O R M woo woo woo who who who ya. Big Splash, one two three. (5:58)

On HEAT oh wait my taping of Heat is cutting this off, so I guess you won't know. Later!

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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