Two Years Ago Alex Beckers saw 

One Year Ago, In a special (sweeps) triple title match Heat, Dean Malenko beat Funaki to keep the WWF LH Title - TAKA promised revenge, Test defeated an X-Man shirt wearing Raven in a Euro Title match, and Chris Jericho beat Perry Saturn to stay IC Champ in the first good match between the two of them ever. Justin Credible beat Grandmaster Sexay with nothing on the line. At WWFNY, K-Kwik ate fruit (without Road Dogg stopping him this time!) And created hip-hop fool the Germ. Come to think of it, he deserved to get let go just for that. 

Plug For ESPN (because they really need my help): If you're around and looking for something to watch Tuesday, can I suggest the Horizon League final? You've got a sixth seeded team that's upset number 3 and number 2 in back to back days - and the other school (seeded 4, hmm) is MY school. If that wasn't enough - it's Chicago (Loyola) vs Chicago (UIC)! Neither of these teams had any realistic hopes to be in this position at the beginning of the season, UIC sporting a young club and Loyola picked LAST by the (so called) experts. Even bigger than the NCAA Tournament Bid (Loyola would have a chance for a 15 seed, UIC could end up in the Dayton game), one of these teams will capture the attention of a city that's ignored them for two (sucky but hyped) teams that will NOT be going anywhere. At least one full year of press and televised games they NEVER would have gotten for the winner, and the loser is stuck in their shadow. What's GREAT about this week of college basketball is with so much going on, you not only have the close finishes of the first and second round of the real tournament, but more desperate stories like these. A memorable game between a Big Ten team and Pac 10 team a week from Thursday may be a memorable day for them, but just getting their makes the smaller schools DECADES. Loyola-Chicago is still living off winning the whole thing - in 1963! Hey, If you think I'm this hyped NOW, wait till they win...four years I'm there they do nothing, and the second I'm out the door, they turn it on. 

Anyway, if you're looking at me to fawn over the WWF since they've replaced the pointless interview with the video recap of something I've seen three times this week, don't expect much because there are far better stories being told out there that make all this look kinda pathetic at times.

TVPG LV attitude.

Wrestler Free Open.

Fireworks! They're making Heat Special Again! Someone pointed out that this is the old, Heat on USA, firework display. Your announcers are Coach and Tazz - Cole is on "location", even though Coach said he was on "vacation" before. We never find out where this location is or what Cole is doing there, so I guess it's not important. Your referee for the next match is Miss Jackie. Thumbs up!

Rikishi vs Perry Saturn - Saturn's only giving up 112 pounds? Doesn't seem right. We get the desk shot of Tazz and Coach - they talk about Stone Cold vs Scott Hall, Hogan vs Rock at WM. Tazz: "Perry's got more ink on his body than...uh...um...a piece of paper with a lot of pen ink on it." That's so horrible I can't stop laughing. By the way, I'm really not feeling it tonight so we'll see if I can make it through without flaking totally out. Circle. Lockup, Saturn goes behind and lays in forearms. Right. Rights. More rights. Kicks. Miss Jackie pulls him away and they argue - Saturn pushes him in the corner and lays in a few fists. Now Miss Jackie pushes Rikishi out of the corner and tells him to break. So he does - corner whip, clothesline and the rebound. Sidewalk slam one two no. Tazz and Coach talk about Tazz on the Casting Special. Saturn with a double chop to take control, whip, reversed, Rikishi head down too soon, Saturn kicks it (and it works), clothesline to take him down. One two no. Saturn pulls out Rikishi, right, kick, whip, reversed and Saturn goes into the steps. Rikishi throws Saturn back in. Corner whip, Rikishi charges into a back elbow. Second rope springboard dropkick by Saturn. One two no. I really didn't need to say Saturn did that, did I? Push in the ropes, head to the gut. Coach questions the logic in going for that part of the body. Big boot the head. Push in the ropes, but this time Rikishi gets a knee up. Clothesline misses, and Saturn hits a Superkick. Everyone down. Saturn charges right into the Samoan Drop. Miss Jackie counts them both down. Side belly to belly suplex. Rikishi slaps himself - off the far ropes, off the near ropes, Earthquake running butt drop. Saturn pulls himself up, but in the corner - running butt smash but Saturn moves out of the way - Northern Lights Suplex! No bridge, so Saturn has to cover one two no way he's getting a pinfall without at least hooking the leg there. Corner whip, reversed, and Saturn rebounds right into the Superkick. Rikishi pulls him over and slowly climbs tot he second rope. Signaling - Bonzai drop. One two three. (4:21, 35) Replays. Rikishi has the hat - is he going to dance? Rikishi dances. Miss Jackie dances! Rikishi starts doing a dance behind her that is definitely not TV PG.

Backstage, Hurricane is - well, one of the (other) downsides to no WWFNY is that we some meaningless backstage segments. In this one, Hurricane talks with Tim White, promising to avenge Mighty Molly's injuries and win his match against Solomon Grundy. "No, you're wrestling Test tonight." "That's what I said." White stirs his coffee throughout. Hurricane flies off.

That's next. Later, a look at the casting special.

I don't know what Dave Meltzer is smoking ('cause he said differently - maybe bad info), but they're sure advertising Thursday night as "a special LIVE Smackdown", so Tuesday show is not a taping. I wonder if they're spreading it out a couple more days to give the Japan crew a little time to rest instead of having to go right to TV.

Skittles WM Moment - Kane Tombstones Pete Rose in '98.

the Hurricane (w/o Mighty Molly but w/RAW clips to explain her absence) vs this is a theo flurey (w/Heat Ads, 260 days) - When we saw this match 9 weeks ago, Rikishi ran in and helped Hurricane win - I told forgot about that feud. I don't think he's running in today. Talk about Fear Factor, of course. Circle. Lockup, no Hurricane with a waistlock, headlock and Test tosses him off. Test misses a clothesline, Hurricane with forearms and a chop that's not sold. Test looks at his chest post-chop and Hurricane dares him to come get some. Test charges and Hurricane runs - out of the ring, in the ring, off the ropes, under a clothesline and hitting the flying forearm. Off the ropes, under a clothesline and hitting a jumping clothesline. Punches, whip, reversed into the full nelson release slam. Punches on the mat. Turnbuckle smash. Elbows and forearms in the corner. Coach starts to talk like we should have perhaps sympathy for Jericho, being bossed around by Stephanie like that, hmm. Kicks in the corner now. Test argues with ref Chad Patten. High vertical suplex, cover one two no. Tazz talks about working for Stephanie, mentioning somewhat forbidden words "ECW" and "Alliance." Corner whip, charge in to a back elbow. Hurricane charges out, under a clothesline, right, right right, Test with a knee. Back suplex but Hurricane lands on his feet, jumping neckbreaker. Both men down for one two three four. Hurricane up first and posing. Test swings and misses yet again. Punches by Hurricane, whip, reversed, Test misses ANOTHER clothesline and Hurricane hits the float around DDT one two NO. Right by Hurricane off the ropes and right into a tilt-a-whirl slam for one two no. Test argues the count again - and pushes Patten in the ropes, Patten bounces off and pushes Test, right into position for the Eye of the Hurricane! Cover one two NO! That's his move! Hurricane is surprisingly unphased by such a development and quickly goes to the second rope - Blockbuster but Test hits the mat! Test is setting up for the Boot - DUCKED, Superkick! One two NO! What's he got left? Going all the way up - cross body is caught, drop down and there's the Last Rites. One two three. (4:12, 70) Test still doesn't have his own name for the move - maybe later. Maybe Booker can come up with something for him.

Later, the nWo highlights. Next, Tough Enough highlights.

Tough Enough 2 montage video package. Nidia barely qualifies as a "WWF Superstar." Anyway, I was watching all of this about five hours ago so I'm not gonna watch it again. (5:33) Tazz hates the desert. 

Later, Austin vs the nWo. But next, it's Rob Van Dam vs Lance Storm.

Slim Jim IC #1 Contender Match of Last Monday

Lance Storm vs IC #1 Contender Rob Van Dam - Coach points out Storm probably really wants to be at WM, but isn't on the card yet. If Lance wins, is he the #1 Contender? Rob takes a moment to point to himself and the crowd chants a long. Lockup, RVD pushed in to the corner, knee, right, corner whip, Lance charges in, but RVD flips out, the other corner, flip over Storm and monkey flip for Storm. Thrust kick, backflip splash one two no. Kick to the head. Shoulder to the gut in the corner, shoulder to the gut, pointless flip and charge and Lance smartly moves out of the way so RVD can hit the post by himself. Storm grabs him and DDTs him. One two no. Storm with a hipcheck to the head. Another. Legdrop. One two no. That move oh right. Turnbuckle smash. Chop. Chop. Chop. Corner whip, Lance charges in and RVD gets an elbow up - weird spinning drop toe variant into a pin by RVD for one two no. Coach actually remembers that these two go all the way back to their ECW days - Cole goes on vacation and Coach tries real hard to try to get his spot, perhaps. Storm up first and hits a big back elbow. Whip, jumping heel kick one two NO. RVD chant. Choke on the ropes. Stomp. Boot choke on the apron. RVD battles back with punches, but Storm gets in a knee to slow him. Big forearm, whip, , head don too soon, RVD flips over and hits the spinning heel kick. Whip, off the ropes, flying wheel kick one two no. Stomp, jawbreaker by Storm. Clothesline is ducked and RVD hits the back suplex. Rolling Thunder! One two no. Stomp. Right, whip, head down to soon, Storm kicks it, standing spin kick is ducked, RVD standing spin kick is ducked, Lance's kick is caught, RVD starts to go for the stepover heel kick but Lance goes for the enzuiguri and RVD hits the deck. Weird spot or a miscommunication, not sure. RVD misses the clothesline and Storm hit a German Suplex with a bridge, one two no! Storm with a corner, Storm charges and gets flipped to the apron - turnbuckle shot for RVD. Lance goes up - but RVD crotches him with a jumping kick. RVD starts to go for a Northern Lights Superplex(!) but Storm breaks loose and flips down to the mat - RVD jumping chest kick. Going up again - Five Star Frog Splash. One two three. (5:16, 88) Replays of that frog splash, from three different angles.

Still to come, Edge vs Mr. Perfect. But next, nWo and Austin.

SHE KICKS THE DOG! Surely I want to spend 8 bucks on a VIDEO GAME MOVIE based on that special effect.

"Superstar" from Saliva is One Of The Theme Songs for WM18. 

Your Announcers talk about Austin and the nWo

Let's go back to Smackdown. We see packed RAW (black and white - better to hide the dripping brick) clips - HA, the cement brick shot is too violent for Heat, they pause and skip it! Well, maybe too violent wasn't the actual reason. This is a special inside news bit - those "cement" bricks are made of the same stuff as those Statues of Liberty David Flair was using. You know, that wasn't the only thing that reminded me of Vince Russo on RAW - some Crash TV skits going on. It didn't totally utterly suck, so it wasn't actually Russo. This is actually shorter than I expected. (2:04) One member of their pack will be in action next week.

Next, Edge vs Mr. Perfect.

Lugz Main Event Finish of Thursday

you think you know Edge vs Mr. Perfect - Repeat what I said about Edge (and possibly Test) from Jakked, okay. Your ref is Nick Patrick. Coach and Tazz discuss tasting the rainbow. Perfect tosses his towel at Edge, which he doesn't like. Tazz makes horrible bad jokes. Lockup, headlock by Perfect, Edge tries to break loose, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Off the ropes, over, under, hiptoss. Dropkick (Perfect's taking the over sold bump before Edge even gets a chance to hit it.) Perfect on the outside. Perfect pulled to the apron, turnbuckle shot is blocked and Edge takes it. Chop. Chop. Choke. Slap to the face. Throw by the hair. Edge throws Perfect into the corner and chops him hard and often. Beal out by the hair, and sliding into the the corner to get crotched. Edge picks up, shoulder to the gut, shoulder to the gut, Patrick breaks it up, allowing Perfect to get a right in. Nick looks back, sees what happens, and Perfect calmly demonstrates that he simply pushed Edge down. Funny. Stomp. Stomp. Snap mare. Head snap. Abdominal stretch - close to the ropes, so he just kinda leans on it instead of even grabbing it - Patrick quickly catches and tells him to break it, which starts an argument between them. Edge with a kick, right, Perfect with right, Edge with right, block right again. Perfect misses a punch and Edge hits an inverted atomic drop, followed by an atomic drop. Off the ropes, clothesline. Edge-O-Matic one two slow no. Announcers make note of Nick Patrick's slow count. I hope his actions get addressed storyline wise if they're bringing them up. And by addressed, I definitely do not mean "referees fighting." Whip, reversed, clothesline misses, and Edge goes for the Spear, so Perfect just throws Patrick in the way. That wasn't even close to being accidental. Perfect throws Edge into the corner post and then goes outside - he's take Fink's chair. Back in with the chair, and Nick calls for the bell. (DQ, 3:53, 50) Patrick tells him not to do it, and Edge spears him! Perfect rolls out to his safety, but Edge swings at him, then sets up the chair in the ring, to take a break and invite Perfect back in the ring if he wants some more. Perfect does not. Great timing ends the show just as the Rob Zombie song hits it's pause.