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WWF Sunday Night Heat by The Cubs Fan




Two Years Ago Alex Beckers saw Dean Malenko pulled the tights to keep the LH Title from Scotty 2 Hotty, Test and D-Von go to a DDQ when their partners interfere, TAKA beat Essa, Val and Godfather with the always popular non-finish when Kurt Angle interrupted to complain about both of them, and Chris Benoit retaining the IC Title over Hardcore Holly

One Year Ago CRZ recapped Saturn beating Billy Gunn with help from Dean and Terri, X-Pac losing to D-Von when Justin's interference goes wrong and Bubba's interference goes right, Crash retained the LH Title over Grandmaster Sexay and Coach had a sit down chat with Triple H about the Hardyz and the IC Title. At WWFNY, Albert was stalked by people wearing Dudley glasses until he beat up a pair of little known Dudley Cousins.

No D-Von match this year, I'm thinking. What LH Title?

So you know I was watching UPN and I saw Face, and I thought "wow, I didn't know A-Team was on this channel" and I kept waiting for B.A., Hannibal and Murdoch to show up but they never did. It was so sad. Later, I realized it was that Bodyslam movie I'd never seen, and it was more painful to watch then I could have every figured. It was cute how they had to wait four and a half months for a rematch.

tv 14 LV attitude - wait, TV 14? That's odd.

Two Weeks Ago, Vince choose a #1 Contender. And then things happened. (1:24) This was all on Smackdown and not on RAW, you know.

Open will never ever have wrestlers in it.

FIREWORKS make HEAT. They cut to the crowd so we can't see the fireworks being moved.

the Hardyz (w/o Lita) vs Steven Richards and Justin Credible - Your announcers are Raven and the Coach. Raven blah blah blahs and Coach discusses Chris Jericho and Kurt Angle. Contrary to reports, Steven and Justin are not wearing matching outfits - Steven's wearing his "I was supposed to be partners with Tommy" pants and Justin has his X-Factor tights. The chairshots the Hardyz gave to Brock? Coach says they're too brutal for Heat. Raven makes fun of people (well, Coach) for not figuring out that Heyman was Brock's agent all along. Steven and Jeff start. Lockup, headlock by Steven, crank, Jeff tries to break out, off the announce ropes, Steven pushed off, shoulderblock and Steven goes down. Off the near ropes, over, far, under, Jeff with a wrap around clothesline one tow no. Steven - Raven says he's known Steven for years and he's going by the name of "Wacko Stevie" now because he's lost his mind - tag to Justin, and Justin gets a hiptoss. Tag to Matt, double kick down in the corner, Right by Matt, corner whip, Justin Flip lands him in the ring and right into a right. Headlock, cranking it in. Justin battling to his corner but Matt kicks Steven's hand away - Steven gets annoyed and comes in and Matt jumps up - there's the dual headlock/headscissors takedown, and a double clothesline. Right for Justin. Whip, reversed, Steven with the shot from the back, Matt runs around and hits him but SUPERKICK. Nick Patrick slow over one two NO! Raven complains about the slow count. Tag and double kickdown by Steven and Justin. Coach tries to be funny and Raven calls him on not being funny. Steven distracts, Justin chokes. Steven chops. Corner whip, kick to the gut, DDT? Well, if he doesn't waste his time - there's a suplex. One two no. Tag to Justin, hold for a kick. Right. Kick. Kick. Kick. Pulling powerbomb one two no. TE2 highlights and Stasiak vs Goldust in a match I'll skip later! Raven complains. Tag, right by one, one right by the other, and now Matt's trying to fight his way out but Steven drop toe holds Matt and Justin lands the elbow drop. Justin with rights, tag. Steven with right, chop, corner whip, charge in to Matt's elbow. There's the reverse cobra clutch slam - Raven says Matt calls it the Side Effect. Thank God he has a name for it and it's not an especially silly one. Tag to Justin, tag to Jeff. Right for Justin, right for Justin, double leg takedown and there's the double low blow legdrop. Russian leg sweep leads into the Compactor, which is nice to see for once outside of a card but sure is a Jeff Hardy move (silly name, doesn't look all that effective.) If you didn't know (and why would you), the Compactor starts with the victim on his back with his legs near his head, and Jeff simply does drops a leg on each of the victims and bridges back to hold for a pin. One two Steven breaks it up. Matt's up and Steven's whipped into the corner - Poetry in motion. One for Justin? NO Justin moves out of the way and Jeff lands on the second rope. Clothesline for Matt is ducked, Matt with the kick Twist Of Fate Swanton Bomb one two three. (5:07) Raven notes the lack of a roll through on the Swanton, but in different words.

Still to come, Bradshaw vs Bossman.

BK European Title Change of Monday

Goldust vs Shawn Stasiak in a match I get to take off - Raven makes fun of Coach getting the Slurpee on his head - apparently he said last week that Big Show had a 300 pound head and that was a little revenge. Coach: "I made I mistake - it's actually 400 pounds. Hahahahahha [wait, no one else is laughing, that's odd]" Coach: "Physically in the ring, Shawn Stasiak has very few superiors." WHAT. Coach is on the wacky weed. Shawn wishes he could have hair like Michael Cole. Goldust teases the Shattered Dreams and doesn't do it because he's a bad guy, I guess. I mean, if you're really a bad guy you hit the guy in the nuts but perhaps things have changed and I'm living in the past. Who can say. I thought it was called the Golden Globes now but either they changed their mind again OR no one passed the memo to Raven. Goldust is more than happy to crotch Stasiak. Goldust hooks in a cobra clutch with legscissors and Raven says he calls it the "Hush Hush Sweet Darling." Three arm drop and that's it. (4:34) Coach says this is a big win for Goldust.

Stuff with the #1 Contender is next.

Stuff with the #1 Contender. (9:38) Wow, that's long, I'm glad I just fast forwarded through all of it. Lookit, a graphic. And then one for the WWF Title match. 

Next, Crash vs Miss Jackie.

Slim Jim De-Masking Of Monday - the chair shots for Kane are too violent to be shown on MTV too. I think MTV doesn't like them chairshots. 

Lillian Garcia talks to Bradshaw: "It's real simple, Lillian, you know how two men fight? Aw hell no you don't, let me explain it to you: You want fight another man, you walk up to him and hit him in the mouth. Then, if they want to, they hit you back. This goes on for a while, until one guy can't get up, and one you guy can and that's how you have a winner winner. But you see these nWo cowardly  jack[bleep - this is bleeped here and not during the promos for said show?], haven't qyute figured that out yet. They want to jump Kane from behind, they want to jump Stone Cold from behind, three on one. So there's a new set of rules around here. They jump someone, I jump them. They jump Kane, I jump them. They jump Stone Cold, I jump them. They jump Howard Finkel, I jump them. Kevin Nash has been suspended, big deal. The other guys are all mad at me, Undertaker's all mad at me, it's real simple, line up, bunch up, and tell them to come get some. I've never backed down from a whiskey bottle, a beer bottle, a fist fight in my life. I'm a pissed off Texan, I'm looking for a fight, and it looks Boss Man is gonna be first."

Miss Jackie (w/ads) vs Crash (yellow) - Jackie challenged for this match. Raven's always in a hurry to show what he knows, even if it's just for the sake of saying he knows something. Coach points out again that Miss Jackie's beat Crash before. Crash talks trash. Lockup, Crash turns Jackie around and forearms her in the back. Stomps. Slam. Slam. Suplex onto the top rope. Crash going out and flipping her back in. Crash celebrates. Cover one two no. Talking about Jazz, Trish and Raven. Crash goes for Snake Eyes, but Jackie falls behind, pushes him in the corner and tries the inside cradle for one two no. Crash with a clothesline. Crash with a kick to the back. Stomp. Surfboard, with multiple knees to the back. Cover one two no. One two no. Sidewalk slam. One two no. Coach is all over Crash's easy covers. Putting Jackie on the top rope, then taking his time - going up, Jackie pushes him off - cross body but Crash rolls through and pulls the tights one two no. Arguing the count - Jackie with the reverse neckbreaker one two no. Whip, reversed, Crash charges in but no one's home - release German suplex! Standing spin kick one two no. Crash tries to crawl out but Jackie pulls him back in. Whip, reversed, Crash tries for a face first powerbomb but Jackie reverses to a bodyscissors rollup one two NO. Jackie with rights in the corner but Crash turns it around but misses and Jackie with rights. Corner whip, charge into boots. There's the cover with feet on the ropes - one two three. (3:33) Miss Jackie is displeased about that cheating.

Coming up, highlights from Tough Enough 2.

Scorpion King hype (:47)

TE2 hype. (1:40) They edit out the whole "these people screwed up - and these people looked like they were going to screw" parts. Bossman and Bradshaw next.

Forceable Entry: Kane as done by Finger 11. Best Buy Bonus Track? They probably would have wanted to mention this before hand if it was any good (but it was not.)

Bradshaw (w/Ads) vs Boss Man (w/night stick)- Coach wonders if we'll see Kane back on RAW, since he lost his mask and all. Raven smartly figures that's not the only mask Kane has. Either they're running long or something is up here, because we have almost no time left. Raven complains about the hypocrisy of the Dirtiest Player In The Game suspending someone for cheating. Boss Man yells for no reason. Headlock by Bradshaw, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Off the ropes, elbow drop but no one's there. Boss Man with rights a battling him to the corner. Corner whip charge in but no one's home - Clothesline From Hell one two three. (:34) I guess that explains that. Raven was all hyper about a Bradshaw injury but it wasn't long enough for it to really matter. We're out like THAT because we have no time. RAW!

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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